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The porn he looks at is drastically different from what I'm like-- do I have a chance? (21)


3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-26 07:48 ID:pe0Zjv8O

>>2
[Continued]

My own boobs are small. I measure as a 32B. Learning of his preference for the more buxom sort of woman, I feel so inadequate I could cry. I've had insecurity issue regarding my breasts since puberty, and now I feel like my fears have been realized in the worst way. I feel like taking my shirt off in front of him would be like a joke, now knowing that what he desires are jugs more like the size of what sits atop my neck than what I'm sporting on my chest.

My family is visiting from an hour away today (09-26-09) and I'm planning to take them out to dinner at a local pizza place. He and my family have heard about each other through me, but never met or spoken. I invited him to join us tonight, and he accepted. I'm very nervous, but very excited that all of the people that are most dear to me can finally meet each other. I am worried now that when I see him, all I'll be able to think about is the glaring difference I've discovered between his "top models" and myself and there's no way I can discuss it with him; (not only would he know I'd looked through his book, but it would also be way too weird of a conversation to have with him anyway).

I don't know what to do with my head. I feel like I'm having a nightmare and I can't even tell if I'm just freaking out over nothing. I know he's not my "boyfriend" and for that reason I shouldn't even think about expecting him to do anything just to placate me, and I also know that he's free to have his own preferences and that most of that stuff isn't a choice any way; a person can't and shouldn't have to make them self like green beans if what they really want is ice cream.

I don't know what to do to feel more comfortable tonight and every time I see him from now on. Has anyone else been in this situation before or have any experience relating to my position? Do I stand a chance in every looking attractive to him?