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The porn he looks at is drastically different from what I'm like-- do I have a chance? (21)


1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-26 07:46 ID:pe0Zjv8O

[This thread involves pornography as a subject and for that reason may have been place on the sexuality board, but the focus is not porn itself but rather a potential relationship issue that pornography may factor in to.]

I've been friends with a wonderful guy for almost three years now. I developed a crush on him that eventually turned into full blown love for him, but I haven't yet confessed. We have a very close relationship and seem to do everything a dating couple does except that we don't have physically amorous relations. We've never kissed, we've never cuddled, we've never even held hands. About a year ago, however, he hugged me before we parted one evening, and we've hugged every single time we've ever parted after spending time together since then (about twice a week). As the year has gone on, the hugs have seemed to last longer and been tighter. I genuinely believe that he has the same feelings for me as I have for him, but I'm not certain if they're at the same level. I'm also a coward, and that's why I haven't made a move yet.

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12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-28 07:01 ID:pe0Zjv8O

Op here.

Thanks, everyone, for your advice and perspective. He ended up canceling on meeting with my family and I the other night, but that was reasonable as they arrived over an hour later than we expected to meet and by that time he had already fed himself dinner and had probably expected to be home for the night by then.

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13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-28 09:36 ID:dYCIipSg

One will always be willing to change for the other. That what i think.
Anyway i don't suggest push-up because i once watch this drama. There was a girl flirting with a rich guy who like big breast, so she wore push-up. In the end the push-up drop and it was embarrasing.

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-28 10:44 ID:BgZPiGO2

>Ultimately, I guess I can't change what he does or doesn't like, I can only hope he'll like me the way I am, the same way I like him.

You nailed it. No need to wreck yourself and your chances with him because of this. Be natural. Study yourself, and wear what looks good on you, not what tries to make you look like something else.

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15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-28 14:57 ID:IOOW9vXj

Happy Birthday, OP!

I suppose I'm a little late, but it couldn't hurt for me to throw in my two cents.

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16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-28 21:46 ID:pe0Zjv8O

OP again.

I decided to ditch the low cut top and push up bra. I made that decision at the last minute and I think I'm glad. I am instead wearing a shirt that he's complimented before and that I feel very comfortable in. I made the decision before reading the thread, but what >>14 said makes a lot of sense; by now I guess he's figured out that I don't have triple-Ds, but if he's still enthusiastic about being around me, he must not be too disapointed. It's silly how really obvious stuff like that can never find its way into a fear-clouded mind until someone else puts it there for you.

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17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-28 21:51 ID:UW+pYSXJ

>>16
Don't chicken out! Push yourself, you can make it and kisses are innocent after all (that is, if you don't linger for ages on it of course haha).

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18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-28 21:52 ID:UW+pYSXJ

Btw, there are no Anons here - only Secret Admirers ;)

19 Name: 映画男 : 2009-09-29 05:03 ID:aWmTklJV

eiga wishes u all the best!! dont chicken out and u'll do fine =D

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-29 06:35 ID:HcSBvt+n

anxious about an update

21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-10-05 13:28 ID:VL2in16A

OP, I just wanted to say that I can totally relate to you.
I am finding myself in an uncannily similar situation to yours, and although I can't offer any helpful advice, I am totally barracking for you.