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Guy-friend help. :/ (17)


1 Name: Troubled : 2009-10-09 01:34 ID:OypIOjlP

So we're both in high school, and I've had this crush on this one guy for a year. (G1) and another guy friend (G2) was kind of helping me through it, and was being really nice, and even asked if I was interested in him, and I said no, because I wasn't at the time. I was also helping him with his crush, since his crush really doesn't like him back. :/ While on a trip last week together, me and G2 held hands, and I can't stop thinking about him. There the homecoming dance next week, but how do I let him know that I'm interested in him? It feels sudden, but I really can't get him out of my mind.

2 Name: anonymous : 2009-10-09 03:41 ID:T0q42635

I have a feeling he likes you to, but that's just from my pov

casually bringing up the subject of who he likes is a good way to let him know. haha

3 Name: Troubled : 2009-10-11 04:11 ID:OypIOjlP

Thanks. Though, I already know that he likes some other girl, but she's impossible for him, (him being a senior, and her a freshman, and she likes someone else)

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-10-11 06:18 ID:wvJjBMOD

This is very simple: he already asked if you were interested in him, and you refused him. So you can't expect any further initiative from him.

This leaves you with no other choice but to take the initiative yourself. So continue doing the hand holding stuff, and ask him to go with you for this homecoming dance.

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5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-10-11 22:44 ID:RaiI93Bw

>>4
I'd even tell you to be more straightforward.

Because of the fact that you have rejected him once, you acting this way could really unsettle him, he could think you are leading him on, etc. Guys aren't good at deciphering this stuff. I also think he might be into you, so find a way to spend a lot of time with him (ie a whole afternoon at the park alone with him or something), as soon as possible, and just tell him that since the last time he asked you things have evolved. Maybe say you wonder what would happen if he asked you now, or something like that. If he doesn't get the hint, ask him yourself. And if he says no, just say "okay, well, next time it's your turn to ask me again!" or something to joke it off.

6 Name: Troubled : 2009-10-12 03:27 ID:OypIOjlP

Wow, thanks even more guys. I'll try my best the next time I see him.

Funny story, I actually spent most of the day with him today. We studied for four hours in the library, (also with the girl he kind of likes) and then he invited me back to his house. Being really happy, and maybe even having the chance to confess, I accepted. He ended up playing Halo for three hours, while I watched. What's worse is that he was talking with his friends on the Xbox live thing almost the entire time. :/ This really wasn't that exciting for me, but I'm glad that I could experience something that he really enjoys.

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7 Name: Mr Write : 2009-10-12 19:13 ID:VhdhF5UH

>>6

Eh, I don't know if you can tell right now, but that's pretty damn flaky there. Inviting you over, then ignoring you? Seems like he's not really be as considerate of you as he should be, even as a friend (!!).

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8 Name: Troubled : 2009-10-14 02:26 ID:OypIOjlP

Update - October 13th

Welll.... it was after practice, and I told him that I wanted to talk to him, so he walked over, and I couldn't speak for a few seconds, but then rushed out 'If you asked me to Homecoming, I would say yes... because I like you a lot'. Completely different from what I was planning to say, but I'm a terribly nervous person. :/

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9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-10-14 04:52 ID:Ha7CPLL0

>>8 congratulations OP, you were pretty brave there. Don't worry about feeling embarrassed or awkward, that's entirely normal. You opened yourself to the other and risked rejection, that's quite an uncomfortable and vulnerable position, so it's expected you'd be nervous.

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10 Name: Troubled : 2009-10-14 23:49 ID:B0I71PX3

OP here again,

Thanks #9, it was pretty nerve-wracking.

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11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-10-15 00:12 ID:GHoVc7hD

>>10
I congratulate you on stepping up and being forward and honest with the guy you like. That's not easy, especially for a girl, what with all the conditioning girls go through to sit and wait, you know? I wouldn't call it rejection yet. It's possible he just didn't know how to react. Give him a little time. If nothing happens by homecoming, then maybe there is nothing there.
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12 Name: Troubled : 2009-10-15 00:43 ID:B0I71PX3

Thanks, I'll try to update it after homecoming.

Yeah, I HATE the way most girls have to 'hint' at their feelings, so instead of just asking him to homecoming, it felt more acceptable to say 'I'd say yes if you asked me'. I think it'd be better if it was either way for people asking others out. :/

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-10-15 04:00 ID:R/hRsi9f

I wouldn't say you were pretty brave. I would say you were REALLY brave. I'm a guy but it still quite a challenge for me to confess Orz

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-10-16 11:57 ID:Xv99gbnh

I don't think he's clear on what you meant. After being friends for ages when someone tells them they like the other or even arranges to go to homecoming, it is pretty ambiguous as to what they mean, friends do it all the time, so he might have taken it as an especially awkward confession of close friendship.

15 Name: Troubled : 2009-10-20 21:00 ID:B0I71PX3

OP here again.

>13, thanks.
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16 Name: Troubled : 2009-10-21 04:08 ID:B0I71PX3

Sorry, didn't know that one of the v's would make it green quoting.

17 Name: greek : 2009-10-21 10:46 ID:98IsDPbn

first of all thank you very for suggests. i don't really know her that well because she is a grade higher than i am and we don't have chances to speak often. i only see her in break time but then i still don't have a change to speak to her because she is always res surrounded by her friends and like i said i never ask a girl out before so i won't know what to say( i am clueless about girls) they make think i am weird or something. i only know she is great artist because i saw her picture around school