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How does one attract someone without coming off as gross and persistent? (23)


1 Name: SomeoneStuck : 2009-10-17 17:43 ID:uwkO9VOm

Okay, here's the gist of it... I was always attracted to a guy in one of my social circles, but as he had a long-D girlfriend, I kept my attraction to a bare minimum but stayed quite friendly with him. Having absolutely no relationship experience on my end, I found it easy to be casual and friendly - something I'm usually not when I know the person's not taken.

For quite a while, this guy was fairly nice to me - he generally made the effort to talk to me first, and when we walked home together from gatherings, he would occasionally extend the 'walking date' by asking if I wanted to pop by a store. I didn't read too much into it at all.

However, six months after knowing him (I'd known him since last year August), I found out he had broken up with his girlfriend around last year October. In other words, for four months this guy had been expressing mild interest to know me better - and I had had absolutely no idea. Shortly afterwards, he asked me out to lunch on a weekday. We communicated by work email, and sometimes he would email me with teasing remarks that had no real reason behind it. We had several more lunches, and I began to wonder if he was actually interested in me, and the fact I reciprocated those feelings to some extent started to make me extremely nervous around him.

It was around May when he moved away from my district, and into a building right next to my office. So I would sometimes see him in the mornings at the bus stop, when I got off and he got on. It wasn't too bad an arrangement, and I was starting to really develop feelings for the guy.

Just last month, however, he suddenly stopped contacting me on email. He suddenly grew so incredibly busy that he stopped turning up to the gatherings of my social circle, which he used to frequent on a regular basis. I gathered up the courage to text him, but he ignored that. The following week, when he didn't turn up again, I called him, but he ignored that too. So I emailed him a few days later, to ask if he was alright, and he emailed back that he was fine, just busy. He turned up to the gathering that weekend, and I was exceedingly glad to see him... but I was also very lame. Having grown self-aware of my own feelings, I act like a complete goon and can't think of anything interesting to say around him anymore. Yeep.

This was last weekend. So on Tuesday, I gathered the nerve to ask him via text if he was free on Wednesday evening. He texted back on Thursday afternoon, apologising for the late reply and saying that he wasn't free this week... but "maybe lunch or dinner next week" would be possible. Now, I texted back a few hours later, asking "Which day would be the best day to bug you? :P" in my attempt to sound cutesy, but instead I think I creeped him out because he stopped replying. And I'm scared texting "Helloooo?" will only be further cause for his apparent alarm.

So... I guess, I'm looking for help here in that... I really like this guy, but at the same time, I wonder if I'm being that really stupid girl who can't read the signs right. No matter how busy someone is, constant ignoring seems to be a case of trying to scrape me off his shoe. But at the same time, why would he text back about next week being a possibility if he thought I was that annoying? Or was that just courtesy? And... how on earth does one overcome stupid crush-symptoms and act like a normal and fun person with the one person that matters the most with??

Alright, I'm done... Thank you for reading.