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Unsure how to progress with slightly older Japanese woman (15)


1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-01-06 07:10 ID:MpJkqsoO

I have a crush on a Japanese woman at my college. I'll call her Sayo. She is sort of an exchange student at my college, except older (mid 20s, I think.) Her job is to help out students who are learning Japanese.

Right now, there are a few barriers between us. First, there is the mentor-student relationship, which is partially enforced because I am younger than she (I am 20.) Fortunately I've managed to break through this somewhat by treating her as a friend and not a teacher. But secondly, there is also a language barrier. My Japanese is not very good, so I can't have significant conversations with her when I'm practicing Japanese. Finally, time is working against me, since she leaves at the end of the school year.

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2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-01-06 15:00 ID:JntpudcE

Tell her that she is boring.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-01-06 15:53 ID:+kULfmFW

Well since she is so serious you'll have to take things slowly. In the end you may only end up being good friends with her but that's better than pushing too hard and having her possibly hating you right?

So my advice is try your best to learn more Japanese and use simple English that she can understand so that you can having longer and more interesting conversations with her e.g. talking about each others hobbies.

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4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-01-09 06:38 ID:n7B0GMMw

We talked online for about two hours straight today...in the end it was mostly in English, because I decided getting close to her was more important than practicing Japanese...:)

Ohh, my heart hasn't beat like this since high school...

5 Name: Hikari-chan : 2010-01-09 10:42 ID:0fzy1L2O

But, you should know that your studies must also be on good condition. Anyways, that's great then. You talked for straight two hours that means you learned more about her. Just keep it going. In the end you will end up close to her. But just don't push anything so hard she might get uneasy if you were too close. For now, just keep on being friends with her.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-01-09 22:59 ID:NmulVVA7

Hey, make sure to keep progressing in Japanese too!
But I agree with >>5, keep being friends with her and become intimate that way before considering starting a relation ship.

Also because you want to know your level of compatibility.

7 Name: The Bear : 2010-01-10 13:26 ID:qfRPtxom

you be trollin

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-01-14 00:41 ID:NmulVVA7

>>7
Oh, bear.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-01-14 04:42 ID:n7B0GMMw

Thanks for the advice guys, I've been trying to get closer to her.

Had dinner with her last night, with a few other friends. She was very quiet during the dinner. But after everybody else left she stayed behind, and opened up a bit and became a lot more talkative. I think this is a good sign....

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10 Name: The Bear : 2010-01-15 09:42 ID:qfRPtxom

pics or didnt happen.
or else you be trollin

11 Name: Aging Otaku : 2010-01-15 12:53 ID:90gs43L+

I do not know what your further plans for college is, but one of the things that many colleges offer, which is, as I am sure you are aware, is an exchange program. Maybe it is time to start building the seeds of a firm friendship, then try to get into a course where you could be an exchange student, and visit her country.

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12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-01-15 16:52 ID:n7B0GMMw

>>10
I understand that spending too much time on the Internet can make you paranoid that everybody's a troll. But I've learned it's much more enjoyable to play along with the threads in /love/ whether or not I think they're true (except for the really obvious trolls, of course.)

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13 Name: Otakun : 2010-01-19 09:33 ID:NFpaNmLa

I'm usually the ray of sunshine and happy go lucky guy... but if its not too rude to ask... if you're not going to try for the long run then whats the point of it all? I just hope you're not setting yourself up for a serious heart break. Creating a memorable relationship with someone only for it to be dropped can really hurt both sides. Please avoid that if you're not serious about this girl!

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-01-25 05:10 ID:n7B0GMMw

I agree with what you're saying >>13. Often I feel like I should just try to forget about her since I really am setting myself up for heartbreak.

Yet I still have a mad middle schoolish crush on her. I think about her often, trying to think up ways to get closer to her but not acting upon them. It's really hard to read her signs, but I get the feeling that she doesn't think of me the way I think about her.

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15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-01-25 06:52 ID:DYJX1l/h

sorry to break it to you, but a dream ends when you wake up