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How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Friend Zone (5)

1 Name: ic : 2010-01-21 19:21 ID:nMY/LJWR

I met her roughly seven years ago through her friend who was babysitting my younger sister. Around three years after we met I helped her through a depression in which she transferred to an alternative school. She would even wear heavy clothing as to hide that fact that she was cutting herself. It's possible that it was around this time that my romantic feelings started to emerge, and possibly hers for myself as well. We would talk for half the day over IM when I didn't go to her house after school, sometimes several hours on the phone.

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2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-01-22 00:03 ID:Dv6pEMhG

I'm not sure but it seems the reason you're relationship ended was because you had no self confidence and you were depressed. If that’s the case you have no reason to put any blame on her its your own fault. You said you care about her and want her to be happy but you try to cut off contact with her which obviously doesn't make her happy. You shouldn't be depressed when thinking about your relationship and how it ended that’s just selfish and jealous. You are not the same person you were back then you don't need to feel regret anymore. I would say get over yourself and be there for her because she needs you now but I don't know if you can, considering your mental state. I know the feeling and it took me three years to get over similar feelings so my advice is fairly hypocritical however I was able to become close friends with a girl I dated for 8 months. It's all a matter of where you put your mind. If you want her to be happy your choice is obvious.

3 Name: ic : 2010-01-22 11:11 ID:nMY/LJWR

Yeah, I didn't blame her but instead beat myself up entirely too much over it which was pretty unhealthy in retrospect. She's dropped hints that she still has feelings for me after we broke up but it's possible I'm just deluding myself.

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4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-01-22 19:15 ID:Hqw0DeMv

And rekindling said previous relationship is not an option? Or do you still not have any confidence in yourself? Maybe you should get out and take some time to discover yourself, say traveling, hiking; anything that might help focus your mind, and perhaps instill a greater confidence in you.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-01-23 09:28 ID:Heaven

Sounds like the girl needs some help, but you are not the one to give it, advise her to seek some counseling or something and then take a few big steps backward, for her sake as well as yours.

I second >4's advice about seeking some self confidence and finding some healthy activities to enjoy, especially getting into some vigorous physical activity.