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Someone explain things for me? (54)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-02-12 18:33 ID:MAeSBEat

There was this guy who I looked up to as a guide when I just started studying Japanese and I liked him after that because he lent me a helping hand. But then, he changed from the person who I once saw him as.
He said some pretty rude things which were nothing but his own
messed up perception. He was rude to me for no reason, like the

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2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-02-13 14:09 ID:2ngxhAsm

More examples/details would be usefull. Like what have he said to you that was nice/rude? How have he responded to you in certain situations? How did you act towards him?
Also, What ages are we talking about here?
I don't know if I can be much help at this stage, there are manny possibilities why he would be rude to you.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-02-13 15:06 ID:4V1t2fPR

Remind him of who he is. He probably had some emotional changes or something... something in his family, perhaps? Someone should talk to him about how he feels. It's the only thing one can really do...

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-02-13 15:07 ID:4V1t2fPR

>> 3

The only other reason is because it is psychological... his frontal lobe was damaged, if that's the case... which totally re-writes his personality.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-02-14 12:29 ID:fNr0QvNF


More examples/details:

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6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-02-14 12:30 ID:fNr0QvNF


I try and put myself in his place I know he might have his own
problems and troubles to cause him to act they way he is but

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7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-02-14 15:58 ID:fF8ehemK


Well, there could be a couple reasons...

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8 Name: No. 2 : 2010-02-14 18:07 ID:2ngxhAsm


Quite engimatic.
What seems clear, at least, is that his oppinion of you changed. The question is why.

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9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-02-15 08:35 ID:vREobu3j

"You should stop advising people 6 years older than you."

Man, that line really pissed me off. Age does not make him any more mature or superior than you.

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10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-02-15 13:07 ID:yIk8KUXe

I'm not going to internet diagnose this guy but it sounds a lot like the experiences I've had with someone who has bipolar disorder.

>Just don't talk to him at all, or he'll rub off on you.
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11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-02-15 15:12 ID:fF8ehemK

Really, I (>>3, >>4, & >>7) can't do anything until a first try is done. Accept him the way he is, do something (nonviolent and not hurting yourself) about it... well, those are your two options.

Hey, he does have a nice side too, right?

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-02-15 20:50 ID:IyOJsDoZ


I will try and talk to him. I don’t mind accepting him the way he is, I doubt if he’d realize. We are all human beings with our flaws. I know.

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13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-02-15 20:52 ID:IyOJsDoZ


He’s not been in a relationship. Heard it from someone who knows him well.

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14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-02-15 20:54 ID:IyOJsDoZ


I was like “WTF? How does that mean ANYTHING?!” when he typed that.
Also I didn’t give any advice, I merely stated that I wasn't comfortable with what he said.

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15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-02-15 21:00 ID:IyOJsDoZ


bipolar disorder? (O_o) Oh boy.
And don’t worry, It won't rub off on me.

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16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-02-16 18:58 ID:ExtHDuYz

Hey OP, I don't know what to say, but I can see you're having a difficult time. I hope it will pass for you...

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-02-17 03:07 ID:4V1t2fPR

Please keep us posted! I'd hope to see problems resolved!

18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-02-17 04:55 ID:ElG1IzcN


Sure, I hope the thread doesn't die...keep it alive!

19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-02-17 08:15 ID:Heaven

Oh just so you know, I don't mean bipolar will rub off on you, I mean that being around someone like that on a regular basis can be really damaging/hurtful and incredibly stressful, their behaviour tends to get worse the closer you are to them. I had to cut that person out of my life completely to get my self back.

20 Name: Xu!3GqYIJ3Obs : 2010-02-17 15:33 ID:3HScH901

(P.S.: This is >>3, >>4, >>7, >>11, & >>17)

Still hoping for all the best! (I'm constantly checking now... that's new o.o)

21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-02-18 15:26 ID:V4MazBKc

He hasn't got on chat for a while.
He will be back from Japan next month.
(Again, hope the thread lasts)
I'll probably sort things face to face, but till then,

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22 Name: Xu!3GqYIJ3Obs : 2010-02-20 00:01 ID:4V1t2fPR

Oye... hope he gets back and gets back in contact with you. Best wishes on your re-encounter!

23 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-02-21 20:29 ID:I99wFpiE

I get the feeling that you like him because he makes you feel something. Girls go on date after date with guys asking the exact same questions like they were all given a script. This guy comes along and although the emotions you feel are negative, they're balanced out by the limited good that he throws you. Within the pick-up community, this is known as push-pull. He pulls you in with private lessons and free anime, then pushes you away with childish comments.

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24 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-02-23 19:40 ID:olV2sPTW

As much as I hate to admit it, I guess I do.
Yes, I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind.
I'm gonna say what I have to say. Come what may.

25 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-02-24 13:19 ID:ypwhyVWp

bump to keep thread going

26 Name: Xu!3GqYIJ3Obs : 2010-02-24 15:37 ID:3HScH901

** Still waiting **

27 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-02-28 03:42 ID:WkXZj5zQ

OP here. Just thought I'd let you guys know he'll be back on March 19 from Japan.

28 Name: Xu!3GqYIJ3Obs : 2010-03-01 16:14 ID:KYiwH5gP


Good to know!

29 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-03-04 20:53 ID:pzBSPz/S

Bump! your story is interesting OP.

30 Name: !3GqYIJ3Obs : 2010-03-07 17:00 ID:4V1t2fPR

12 more days!!!

31 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-03-08 02:39 ID:aeV+Ph5F

3 more days!!!

32 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-03-09 17:24 ID:HSyF9SyK

OP here, it's march 19 not 11 :P lol
But looks like people want to know where this goes,
so I'm happy you guys!

33 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-03-14 19:04 ID:EDIwyTKE

It's 29 OP. Dropped by to bump the thread :P

34 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-03-19 14:00 ID:RT4mqSt+

He's back! He said he'll see me on Sunday (・ω・)

35 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-03-22 14:27 ID:/Lf2aI1a

OP here
Guys you won't believe it, he is like his old self. We are back to being Jedi master and Padawan :D (he calls me his padawan)

I was on a happiness trip the whole day, I felt light as a feather (≧ω≦)

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36 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-03-25 00:50 ID:HyCL8aBc

News, give us news!

37 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-03-28 19:25 ID:7DixekJc

Op here guys, today in Japanese class, he had brought us stuff back from Japan. I got a Gashopon of Alphonse Elric from FMA!
It's so cute!

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38 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-03-28 20:50 ID:wi5tnrPd

Well, he was kind to you. Probably a little bit more than to other students, it seems.

Keep your soft approach going. Looks like that's the way to getting closer to him.

39 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-04-01 05:52 ID:8UCdZYK/

Sure thing, I'll do that. I'll let you know if anything interesting happens this Sunday!

40 Name: !3GqYIJ3Obs : 2010-04-01 13:04 ID:x/Liblrk

It's been so long since I've been on this site...

but to check out what's been happening to the OP, it sounds great! ^o^

41 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-04-13 05:37 ID:eYG8G10e

I didn't' see him on Sunday but I did see him on Saturday because we had a farewell of our Japanese Teacher. She is going back to Japan. He may not come to Japanese class as he is taking up the final level which is just self-study...

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42 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-04-14 06:43 ID:Xz4hsGvd

He picked a fight with me again.
I'm gonna ignore him...

43 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-04-18 20:11 ID:77bUuHO1

he was sorry and we're back on track. This is sweet ;]

44 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-04-19 01:33 ID:afe6h1x7


Regardless, don't expect him to change. If he does, it likely won't have much permanence.

45 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-04-19 04:13 ID:5C4GtR4y


Ah well, C'est la vie I guess.
It's the love-hate waves that keep this boat sailing :]

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46 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-04-19 04:15 ID:5C4GtR4y


I can't bring myself to 'hate' him. He is my Jedi master, like I mentioned before :)
And besides, I just thought; what is life without a bit of upsy-downsy (^_^)

47 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-04-19 04:29 ID:afe6h1x7


But will you be so willing to compromise as such when the infatuation is gone? Keep that in mind.

48 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-04-19 19:01 ID:/sorehp5


I'll cross that bridge when I get there (^_^)
But yes, I will keep that in mind :)

49 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-04-20 14:03 ID:LOkAnTPK

It's just like that other Anon said. He's playing "push-pull" with you in a bad way. You're getting played like a chump, young lady, and I say this to you because I've been there. And because I've been there, I know you wont listen to me, but I feel I should let you know anyway. :\

50 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-04-21 19:39 ID:XybDLgJH


I will listen to you. If I don't listen now;
I will look back and think, if only I had listened.

51 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-04-25 21:11 ID:Y/fYExLd


Not OP
But I don't think OP is in a situation of the extent she is getting 'played' :( is she?

52 Name: Hopeless : 2010-04-28 14:15 ID:3urR6Ic7

Wake up u're in <3 .... hhhh xD

53 Name: nursing heart : 2010-05-06 04:00 ID:MVd+OQZ3

"the more you hate, the more you love" bear that in mind. note than some guys tend to annoy you so that they could hide their feelings and at the same time to make himself be noticed by you...

54 Name: Wonderfelt : 2010-05-09 16:31 ID:BJYvB356

as long as he makes you in a state where your head is full of thoughts about him ... may it be anger love or your worried .. you will get confused more and more .. and will eventually break .. and speak your true feelings for him .. most of the time .. you confesses how much you hate him .. and afterwards .. you will tell him that even if thats the case .. I cant stop loving you .. well good luck .. if u ever need advice just mail me .. --- well good luck .