I am a conniving bastard who may be incapable of "love" or anything beyond personal desire and satisfaction.
I have been in many relationships, each one roughly the same. I find a girl who I find attractive and I start building a mental plan. I start talking with her, I become friends, I carefully plant my seed. I convince her that we're eerily alike, that I really care about her, her feelings, her well-being.. I act as a chameleon, I use her body language against her, I make myself seem like everything she wants in a man. I can keep my act up indefinitely, I've gone as long as two years before becoming bored with what I view as my favorite girl. Then I simply tell her I wasn't happy with her and move on. That's how I finish every relationship.
Did you come here to confess your sins .. ? haha . lol .
If only you can say why did you decide to say all of this in this board? Its not like just to brag right? Considering your 1st sentence, you admitted that you are one hell of a bastard.
Specify what do you want to gain by posting that in this board.
I suppose I want to know what it's like to feel enthralled by someone to the extent that I see a lot of you on this board are.. It seems nice, if not torturing, caring for someone who you aren't sure returns the sentiment. So much that you would be willing to do anything for them (not for them for yourself). I've seen people tell others to "be themselves", however I don't even know how to "be myself" anymore. I think that may be why I am the way I am, too worried of being judged for who I was, so I became who they wanted, and now that is who I am. It's hard on my mental state, I feel like I'm going mad.
Heh, you become what you believe in. As Lenin once said, "A lie told often enough becomes the truth." Out of context, yes, but still applicable.
In building your own character, you must decide for yourself what you truly value in life. From that, build your beliefs to reflect those values. Make sure to never compromise your beliefs for the sake of self-justification, or you will never grow as a person.