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I don't know if I love him anymore, whatever that word means. (12)


1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-05-29 16:28 ID:h0hCak6O

Hello, /love/. That says, it feels almost wrong to post here, because my problem is not about love, but a lack of it.

Ever since the start of this year, I've noticed my enthusiasm for my boyfriend decreasing. It used to be that I couldn't get enough of him, but now I am growing increasingly complacent with his absence (he's been in another city since the start of May), and even dread going through the trouble of traveling to see him. On the surface, I'm still affectionate, still sign my messages with "<3", and laugh at his jokes, but there is a hollowness that hasn't been there before.

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2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-05-29 21:57 ID:7th4edHf

Hey there, I'm having almost the exact same situation with my girlfriend. After numerous arguments and the passing of time, I just feel so jaded and can't muster the same enthusiasm as I used to.

For me, I'm beginning to feel like its a chore to keep texting and calling her, and I'm only doing it because I won't want her to start a fight because I'm not making an effort. It used to be that I'd get annoyed if she took hours to reply to a text, but I don't care now.

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3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-05-29 23:36 ID:h0hCak6O

Hi anon. I guess it's good that I'm not the only one, but I'm curious as to why you feel the way you do.

Is it because you were too emotionally involved before, and then started to feel burnt out, or am I just jumping to conclusions?

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-05-30 01:47 ID:Heaven

honest question, how old are you two? the situation reminds me of grade school type relationships that fizzle due to too much contact.

hes been gone for less than a month, whats there to feel complacent about? you sound like you were in an overly clingy relationship to begin with. anyone would get tired of another person if they had to see them so often. look at it this way, no two people DONT get sick of each other at some point. its -impossible- for relationships to stay fresh. people that are in it for the long run have grown beyond the need for that.

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5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-05-30 05:21 ID:jD8xhDp/

>>2 here.

>>3
I don't think I got burnt out from being too emotionally involved, but rather from a combination of too many arguments in a short space of time and seeing her 'ugly side'. How about yourself?

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6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-05-30 06:17 ID:AD+S4uNo

> I've thought of requesting that we take a break in a few months. The message there would be obvious, but I feel like it would be less severe than a break-up.

If you're going to break up, do it right. Be honest, be firm, don't beat around the bush.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-05-30 06:31 ID:Dzu8zQQC

>>6 A break is not a break-up. You don't need to kill off a relationship just because you want some space.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-06-02 20:07 ID:aH/Nx/Lq

hi >>1, its >>2, any updates?

my situation isn't getting much better. i feel short boosts of 'enthusiasm' and 'passion' (and no its not anything physical) but after a couple of days i dip to a lower level. like if we have a fun day out planned i find it hard to muster the appropriate level of enthusiasm

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-06-06 01:07 ID:Dzu8zQQC

>>I've thought of requesting that we take a break in a few months.

Always a good move when you're not sure if it's time to move on. It takes care of a lot of things at once, will reveal how clingy the guy is, gives you the space you need, and gives you time to think about whether or not he meant anything to you. The guy may also simply suggest a break-up, which is good for you as well, especially at this point when you aren't like to be very hurt by it.

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-06-07 02:26 ID:h0hCak6O

Hi >>2

Me neither; I've seen him once since, and that was all right, but once I'm away I fall back into boredom and discontent. He texts all the time, tells me he misses me, and is pushing for me to go see him next weekend as well.

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11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-06-07 02:29 ID:h0hCak6O

>>10
*gone out of my way for him often in the past

Typing idiot.

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12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-06-08 19:48 ID:MdBqJ6jJ

hey there >>1,

hah. what a coincidence with the age range.

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