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I can't walk away! (6)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-10-04 12:33 ID:p9nAxa5b

so me and my best friend thought we could start dating, however he just got out of a really bad break up. so we decided to take our time with things. we ended up arguing a lot so he told me things wouldn't work. well things really didn't work because he is still in love with his ex but she treats him awfully. he told me last night he wants to get back with his ex and he knows he didn't give me a fair chance. I'm heart broken i don't know what to do. I'm one of the few people in his life and i care about his so much watching him make this decision hurts me so much. This girl treats him so bad, and he knows it he just says he's so in love.

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-10-04 13:51 ID:Y4MMhZWl

The problem is that you care about him as a friend, but also in the romantic sense. So you're gonna have to give up one or the other. If you choose to keep being friends with him, and still have romantic feelings for him, it's just gonna keep damaging you emotionally. Seeing as how much you care for him in the romantic sense, I think the best thing would be to tell him about your dilemma. Confess to him how much you like him, and that's why you don't think you can support him as a friend in his decision, especially not with someone you don't think deserves him. And then, leave him to make his own choice. Don't stay around to be his backup shoulder to cry on when the other girl doesn't treat him right. You should walk away after you've made it clear to him how you feel. That's what a cool cat would do. It make hurt initially, but you can't waste life by being someone's sidekick.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-10-04 21:35 ID:8/OS4ZtC

thanks for the advice! i told him this and we are no longer talking but that's my choice i can't watch him go back to his ex. he says that it's my decision. He says we just weren't right for eah other but i know that he didn't give me a real chance he says we fought too much we only fought because i wasn't happy because i knew he didn't like me more than his ex still. it's in the back of my head tho i still want him to get over his ex so we can try it again and really like each other. help!

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-10-05 05:00 ID:Y4MMhZWl

Good job on telling him how you feel. It is unfortunate that he still chooses to go back to his ex, but I've think you've done everything you can in this situation. You've made it clear to him that you like him, but if he doesn't like you back, then you can't do anything about that. He's made his choice. Even if he gave you another chance, you can't really force someone to like you more, so don't get angry about. At the moment, just leave him, don't interfere with him and his ex, and just find other things to keep yourself busy. I know how it feels to have someone in your thoughts all the time who you know you can't have, but trust me, time heals.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-10-05 16:30 ID:p9nAxa5b

Everything seems to be working out nicely i am just focusing on the positives of not having him in my life it's just weird i thought this one person was always going to be in my life. i hope i find that again but maybe with someone who is over there ex and actually likes me!

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-10-21 19:20 ID:DwDm3CD9

That's great to hear. Remember you're still young, there's still lots of time to find that someone special. Who knows, maybe there was a reason this happened, but whatever it is, you'll definitely be a stronger person after this. All the time, effort and love that you gave to him, pour it all into loving yourself now. Hang out with your other friends more, you'll get over him quicker and feel less lonely :)