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I Don't Know Where to Go from Here (11)


1 Name: Strike3 : 2010-10-18 21:51 ID:86EwSCbQ

Okay, so here's the deal: I don't know if I have a real question to ask. This may just end up being a rant, but I just really need to spill my guts out. I did this once here before, albeit under a different name, but...yeah. Here goes.

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2 Name: Strike3 : 2010-10-18 22:12 ID:86EwSCbQ

I started to hug her. Again, she didn't hug back but she didn't pull away. I told her that I'd wait for her for as long as it'd take for her to come up with a conclusion about where she stood on the matter of "us".

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3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-10-20 06:09 ID:ef5eisZQ

It sounds like you really need to back off and give her some space seriously. The more you try to get her to like you the more she will reject you no matter how much it seems like she might be interested or how close you seem you need to give her space. Like jello the harder you squeeze the more it breaks apart and goes through your fingers. It might even be too late at this point to salvage what you had since you kept on pressing issue. But its not all hopeless you learned a valuable leason hopefully. Maybe if you can swallow your feelings you can still have a good friend. Which isn't so bad trust me relationships aren't all that great especially realtionships with an indesisive lying to your face so she doesn't make you feel bad type. Good luck i know the feelings that you have now suck but they will fade with time. I have similar experiences with girls its best to just move on. Sorry if it sounds harsh.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-10-21 19:44 ID:kiaeDFlt

Being a girl myself, I don't like girls like her. If I like a guy, I might not tell him..but at least I will tell guys if I don't like them, just so there's no misunderstanding. Even if this means compromising friendships. Maybe it's because I've been lead on before, or misread signals, so I'm much more aware of my own actions and how much it sucks to have this false belief. It's a funny thing though, because my best friend is exactly like this type of girl when it comes to romance. She'll drop signals, sometimes unconsciously, and sometimes half-knowingly, and I've told her repeatedly that she has to be more clear, but whatevs.

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5 Name: Strike3 : 2010-10-22 10:08 ID:Z/9l6kC3

'Preciate it, you guys. I'll have y'all know that I've been doing my damnedest lately to try and distance myself emotionally from her, although it's been pretty hard to do so physically considering we do share the same class on Tuesdays and Thursdays each week.

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6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-10-24 01:25 ID:kiaeDFlt

>> without actually clarifying what "the whole thing" is.

Does it really have to be said out? Obviously she's referring to your change in attitude ever since she turned you down. That you're not willing to accept it, move on, and be friends. Of course though, no-one would expect you to stay friends, but she clearly wants to go back to the way things used to be. The fact that she's more openly critical of you now, is probably retaliation against your hostile attitude towards her. She might have felt regret/sorry when she turned you down, but now those feelings have probably been quenched by you being an ass to her.

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7 Name: Strike3 : 2010-10-25 03:04 ID:enf8tEs2

>>6

Considering that I've pretty much proven that I fail at picking up any and all hints/signals/etc. with her already, I try to steer conversations nowadays to where we're both completely clear and leaving nothing open to interpretation. I've already told her that she's better off hurting my feelings and getting her point across than leaving me hanging on an unfinished thought, the latter of which she's been tending to do a whole lot.

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8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-10-25 06:02 ID:oNY9l2eV

I am confused, DOES SHE LIKE YOU OR NOT, OR DO YOU NOT KNOW AT ALL?

9 Name: Strike3 : 2010-10-26 04:04 ID:S5ruweqz

>>8

As far as pursuing a relationship is concerned, she's pretty much not down for that. I've already accepted that, if my OP hasn't already clarified that. What I DON'T know at this point is if she even wants to be friends. She's the kind of person who would be civil and maintain some sort of communication, albeit not on a "friendly" level, but not cut off any and all communication. I'm trying to figure out whether I've fallen into that category simply because we're sharing the same class for the rest of the semester. Shit's buggin' me.

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-10-26 21:42 ID:dqyGyhVg

>>9
well if you care for my measly opinion,I'd say sever ties with her
it doesn't seem like either of you really gain anything from this friendship.you're miserable and she's uncomfortable. whats the point?

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2010-11-30 20:40 ID:TRaaj5Mx

IMO, you're better off looking for someone else. Or nobody else as well, just get out of this awkward situation. Seems more like you're on a mine field than on a friend zone.

I think you've already gone a little too careful on the beggining. You had you cuddling moments, and yet you didn't try to take it further, it seems. And this could be due to one of two reasons: you didn't have the guts to do so, or she didn't give you an opening. In the first case, you've lost your shot and let her think too much about it - learn from it and get smarter so you won't lose your next chance, probably with another girl. In the second one, you wouldn't go any further, so you could just have noticed it on the first time and saved all those relationship discussions you had later on. And we all know that discussing a non-existant relationship is quite an unnecessary pain in the ass.

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