Ok apologies in advanced because I think this is probably going to get really long... But here we go...
So there's this guy. We started talking in our senior year of high school and became really good friends almost instantly, and soon I started to develop feelings for him, and I kind of suspected that he had feelings for me, too, but I could never be sure cause he's kind of an enigma. But now I'm pretty sure he did. Problem was that I had a boyfriend of three years at the time. Long story short, it was a confusing ass time for me. I broke up with my boyfriend (partly because I liked this new guy and partly because it just wasn't working anymore), but never got anywhere with the guy I liked. I kind of confessed to him once, but it was through IM and he was drunk so I don't think he took it too seriously, but then again I didn't really make it a very serious confession. We still were very close friends for the rest of the school year. But we had a really love-hate relationship. Even though I considered him my best friend, I'm still pretty antisocial and have loner tendencies so I didn't always open up completely, which often got him to think that I was a person without much depth. I still remember he said he had changed me, but I was resisting the change and/or I claimed that the change was all self driven. Obviously I was too proud to admit to him that he changed me, but he honestly did. I wouldn't say it was all his doing, more like I was always this person but he sparked something in me that kind of released it? If that even makes sense. I think he just had such a similar personality to me and I've never met someone so much like me before. He was also the first person who was ever able to see through all my lies and faking, and he would call me out on them every time. I wouldn't say that I'm this mysterious person who puts up a shield for everyone, but I'm a pretty compulsive liar, and really good at it. He knew me better than even my best friends, and I didn't even have to tell him about me. He just kinda saw through it all.
A week after this whole thing takes place, I just happen to actually go to his dorm. His roommate is a mutual friend of ours from high school, and he bought me some food from his vacation, so I went over to just hang out and pick it up. It was a pretty average visit, though. We didn't act awkward around each other at all. I mean I felt really messed up inside, but I didn't show it. I visited around two more times after that, but they were all pretty normal. And other than those visits, we didn't talk at all.
I'm a guy. From my point of view he had at least some feelings for you all along. How great these feelings are or weather they were sexual or romantic I don't know but it looks like they were there since HS.
Now at the present time he obviously wants to fuck. If you want to have sex with him you 100% can. I don't know what to tell you on the romantic front. He wants your vagina. But IDK if he wants you. That wrestling thing something us guys do to have an exscuse to touch girlflesh. We also profess to being gods at giving back rubs.
Haha yeah, he did offer a back rub that day, too......
But being with him isn't really my main goal right now. I just want to get over him. But I've never met anyone like him before and I think it will be a long time until I do (I know, it sounds really cliche) so I dunno... I guess I kinda just don't want to completely get him out of my life. But at the same time if I don't just oust him out of my life I'm just going to keep thinking about him all the time unless some fantastical prince charming or some shit shows up.
>>5 I don't see why you don't try to go out with this guy. You are obviously interested, he's not indifferent to you, there are worse ways to start a relationship.
And so what if there is/was a C(l)ara in his life? What matters if whether he goes out with your or not, the rest is irrelevant, don't use it as an excuse to bail out.