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[Advice] DQN-kun's Advice Column [DQN] (23)


1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-01-11 06:57 ID:36PeWhq1

        /⌒ヽ    
       /(●)(●)   ask me any question about love and romance!
       | トェェェイ/   I offer only the best advice!
       | /`ニニ´    
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2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-01-11 07:49 ID:ZubsSalm

How do I procure a girlfriend? All my life I've been lonely and disinterested in company.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-01-11 08:08 ID:cTIs6++1

How do I get rid of a girlfriend? All my life I've been bothered by various women I procure only to satisfy vague, repressed desires of sibling affection, though ultimately I prefer isolation and am disinterested in company.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-01-11 08:13 ID:dTCr8a9w

   /⌒ヽ    
  /(●)(●)   Well, >>2, it's quite simple. First you gotta buy a whole bunch of eggs.
  | トェェェイ/  Brown eggs, white eggs, free-range, doesn't matter.
  | /`ニニ´    Then go to a place girlfriends hang out, like a desert or an abandoned mine shaft.
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5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-01-11 08:17 ID:dTCr8a9w

   /⌒ヽ    
  /(●)(●)   >>3, great news! You can just follow the advice in >>2
  | トェェェイ/   But instead sing the secret antigirlfriend chant.★
  | /`ニニ´    Isn't life grand?

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6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-01-11 08:41 ID:NMdeoNGo

How do I get a boyfriend? Besides crossdressing, going into the desert and waiting for >>2 to start chanting, I mean.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-01-11 08:52 ID:cTIs6++1

>>5
Thanks, dokyun! I plan on trying this out in a few days. I'll tell you how it goes!

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-01-11 12:20 ID:dTCr8a9w

   /⌒ヽ    
  /(●)(●)   >>6, I hate to break it to you, but boyfriends don't exist anymore. They went extinct in 1300BC
  | トェェェイ/   during the infamous Uncivil Radish Massacre. You'll have to instead settle for a male friend with
  | /`ニニ´    exclusive relationship benefits. To get one of these rare MFwERBs, first make your abode more attractive by
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9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-01-11 14:47 ID:UQp7j78y

DQN-kun, what are good foods and drinks to consume to quickly replenish fluids in-between lovemaking sessions?

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-01-11 15:29 ID:d2vJ1vki

   /⌒ヽ    
  /(●)(●)   >>9, marinara sauce is a tasty beverage. burp
  | トェェェイ/  
  | /`ニニ´    

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11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-01-11 17:10 ID:ZubsSalm

DQN-kun! DQN-kun! >>2 here, I have a question! Is marinara sauce any good for keeping myself properly hydrated in a desert? I wouldn't want to die on my adventure, you know!

Thankyou in advance.wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-01-11 21:38 ID:BRdvNQ7/

[No]

I have a feeling that a certain girl I know is interested in me, romantically. How do I break it to her that she has one too many dimensions?

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-01-12 09:17 ID:cTIs6++1

>>5
I actually did that and now I'm romantically available once again!

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-01-13 22:49 ID:dTCr8a9w

   /⌒ヽ    
  /(●)(●)   >>11, it's a myth that you need to stay hydrated! I always try to keep
  | トェェェイ/    myself at optimal dehydration (80%). Marinara sauce helps but you
  | /`ニニ´     should also bring some beef jerky. That will keep you alive and dehydrated.
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15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-01-14 03:28 ID:KpXVEzRM

How does one go about making an anime/manga character real, and making her fall in love with me?

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-01-17 07:40 ID:j57RZtQz

DQN-kun! All the women I know make me wish I were a homosexual. Where do I find the kind of woman for me?

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2013-06-07 11:43 ID:Qr5E/zTQ

DQN-kuuun~★!
How do I chat up a cute girl who works in a library? Or more importantly where do I find another one? Things didn't go well last time...

18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2013-06-07 23:12 ID:ENZfgW8N

   /⌒ヽ    
  /(●)(●)   >>15, you've got it all wrong! Instead of making her real, you have to make yourself fictional.
  | トェェェイ/    Try writing a short novel about yourself and your potential waifu.
  | /`ニニ´    
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19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2015-09-25 02:51 ID:5LFNsvpr

Hey DQN-kun, how do I go about getting myself a friends-with-benefits? I don't know how to breach the subject!

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2015-12-20 08:36 ID:dYXwtzR6

Hey DQN-kun, how do I become a masculine super alpha male?

21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2017-08-17 05:29 ID:iKJPam0v

   /⌒ヽ    
  /(●)(●)   >>19, they say "if you want a friend-with-benefits,
  | トェェェイ/    be a friend-with-benefits." Start a new benefit system
  | /`ニニ´     with your friend by giving them a card and stamping it
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22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2017-09-26 20:23 ID:DHlEEORC

dicks out for Harambe

23 Name: Billard Quross : 2017-10-17 16:22 ID:lBhhciY3

hey anon-kun i fell in love with a kangaroo how should i approach him UWU

“If you're afraid - don't do it, - if you're doing it - don't be afraid!”