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Relationship-related turmoil. Help. (35)

1 Name: Femanon : 2012-04-01 10:41 ID:3kYCwoV4

I don't know who to tell this to, or how do I even phrase it.
I have never been in a relationship. I will turn 21 this year.
(A little background information- The only thing I ever actually had, was with a friend's friend. I fell for him though I just intended to explore things. But that chapter's over and done with)

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2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-04-02 19:22 ID:8wQakdYS

Okay, I get that, but what exactly is your question?

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-04-03 03:01 ID:2USJXUjf


Protip: Questions end in things called question marks. They look like this --->?

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4 Name: Femanon : 2012-04-05 21:05 ID:P2x3+wfS

Before any serious convos over Skype with him today, I was playing guitar clad in my shirt and underwear (skin is normal with us and I'm just plain devoid of shyness) and right after I was done playing a little Led Zeppelin, my high e-string snapped.

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5 Name: Femanon : 2012-04-05 21:44 ID:P2x3+wfS

I'm sitting sleepless because there's a bit of thunder. I don't want to be shaken awake from onsetting sleep.
Just a memory I like thinking of- We jammed 'The Ocean' by Led Zeppelin the first time we spent at his place with him on the drums and me on the guitar. He was surprised I liked Rush too.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-04-05 23:14 ID:iy5eT+UU

You like him.

7 Name: Femanon : 2012-04-06 07:09 ID:KGrjEixH

I care about him, yes.
I don't know if I like him because I don't feel like wanting physical contact. Except hugs.
Not even a cuddle.

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8 Name: Femanon : 2012-04-07 12:41 ID:JkObi53B

This happened last night.
He tells me kind things. Just too kind.
I tried doing something new with noodles for dinner. I screwed up and I had to throw it away.
He said 'It isn't messed up. It's an incomplete masterpiece'

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9 Name: Femanon : 2012-04-07 12:55 ID:JkObi53B

I'm writing this after a Skype session today,
He said he'd take me to the beach. So here's what he did- attached a webcam to himself and rode on his Royal Enfield bike.
It looked like a trucking video- like some Psychedelic Stop Motion film as I saw familiar scenes and streets from my hometown.
When he reached the beach, it was a nice feeling watching the sea though I was all the way away from home. This was the first time doing something like this.

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10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-04-07 22:41 ID:iy5eT+UU

Jesus god, he is the sweetest boy ever.
I don't understand how you can not like him.

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-04-07 22:43 ID:iy5eT+UU


12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-04-07 22:44 ID:iy5eT+UU

You will never find anyone like him again.

13 Name: Femanon : 2012-04-09 02:02 ID:JkObi53B

He is.
I just like him and care about him.

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14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-04-09 19:35 ID:J9hLGZ8r


I find him cheesy(Good god I cringed so hard with second-hand embarrassment at that stupid sun-rain-flower comparison) and overbearing, but to each their own I guess.

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15 Name: Femanon : 2012-04-09 20:44 ID:JkObi53B

Heh. I thought the comparison was peculiar too.

I don't want to accept it from him but he keeps insisting; and does that bigtime so I don't know what to do. Even today he said we'd go get that guitar two months from now. I just shrug. I'm gonna have to take time and phrase it like coating a bitter pill.

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16 Name: Femanon : 2012-04-09 20:46 ID:JkObi53B


>You don't like him, you don't want a relationship, and instead of listening to this and respecting you and trying to control his own feelings, all he's done is kept pushing his feelings on you. He's not interested in what you want, he's only interested in getting a relationship out of you.
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17 Name: Femanon : 2012-04-09 20:49 ID:JkObi53B

The spur of this discussion brings me to this:

As far as liking someone goes, the ones I like would like someone else, and the ones who like me- I don't feel about them the same way.

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18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-04-11 09:57 ID:HmfdyfW5

Whatever you do, have the decency not to give him the "let's just be friends" line.

Just do him a favor and be direct. You don't like him, quit leading him on and let him go. If you decide you do, however, then let him know. Just quit leading him on.

19 Name: Femanon : 2012-04-11 17:06 ID:aDqTUBlH

Last night, I told him I can't accept the Epiphone Les Paul.
He asked me why, I said there'd be trouble at home. To which he responded he could just say it was lying around unused and he decided to give it away. I told him firmly I didn't want it. He said alright.

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20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-04-12 03:26 ID:HmfdyfW5

well, okay. Maybe you're not even doing anything, but he's the one who has these ideas. In that case, you should certainly be direct with him about your feelings. I can't tell you how to word it because you know this guy and I don't. Just, you know, be honest.

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21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-04-16 19:31 ID:WbOB/9qI

This conversation was extremely interesting to read. One woman who really wants to connect with another person, but tries to achieve this with the wrong means and the other woman has never really processed the hurting that came from being connected to someone else; the second woman is also projecting like 2000 dollar Home Theater system.

22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-04-20 15:58 ID:yjhsPUsB


Good on you for not accepting the Les Paul. That was the right thing to do.

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23 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-04-21 12:27 ID:iYWe1kGT

24 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-04-21 12:36 ID:iYWe1kGT

25 Name: Femanon : 2012-04-23 23:02 ID:LKeaJ7r4


Maybe the way I phrased it seems like I'm painted the wrong picture. He's always been there for me ever since I left to m country to study abroad. Some nights back here, there was horrifying thunder it scared me so much I cried. He told me to call on Skype at that moment and kept me company.

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26 Name: Femanon : 2012-04-29 01:18 ID:v8SEYMT4

So, when we talked a couple of days back, at one point in a spur of conversation, he stated himself that we're friends.

27 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-05-05 12:25 ID:RFyfn3gj

A wild 'Nice Guy' has appeared.
Nice guy uses "confession"
It was not very effective
Nice Girl uses "friendzone"

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28 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-05-12 07:19 ID:8mCNUZIl

All the talk about nice guys and nice girls and so on. It's all hesitation, humiliation, worrying and meaningless bullshit. Who has time for such things? Not me, I have fucking work to do. If this is romance, then romance isn't worth it.

29 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-05-13 07:45 ID:5WEaj77w


Good for you...?

30 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-05-13 15:29 ID:8mCNUZIl

So the fact that I don't let myself be dragged around by women is a bad thing? I do everything on my own terms, and I'm not a romantic. What's wrong with being rational about stuff like this? If a relationship is more trouble than it's worth, I walk away from it. I'd advise anyone else to do the same thing if they don't have children or some other obligation tying them down. Otherwise it's just a huge waste of time.

31 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-05-13 17:23 ID:xBYF+7z2


lol defensive much.

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32 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-05-13 17:28 ID:8mCNUZIl

Who cares about anyone else on this board? We're all anonymous here. Did I say I was special? Fuck off.

33 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-05-14 17:49 ID:mgYDw2x8


Butthurt bitch.

34 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-05-16 05:44 ID:8mCNUZIl

I left the second grade a long time ago. Try a different insult.

35 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-11 17:28 ID:Y77v4/YC

well...i think she's gone from here. wat I learned from this conversation: NEVER START A RELATIONSHIP IF YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE. Also, leading a person could only work if you don't do the same shit over and over again (like insisting an expensive guitar is a great gift). otherwise, it's just pushy. in the end, a relationship is about US...not you and me. if there is no togetherness...then it's already shit on the ground. good luck >>1.