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Does this mean what I think it does? (14)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-05-28 00:01 ID:/ERMFXG0

First some background. I'll try to keep it brief.

I volunteer weekends at an animal shelter. I've been doing it about 6 years. About 4 years ago a girl my age who was a former volunteer became a full time paid staff member. I see her maybe 3 times per month when I go up there. I don't ever see her outside the shelter, so while we're pretty well acquainted, we're not really close friends or anything.

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5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-05-29 06:09 ID:yp/O4U2p

Could be. Could be she was undecided and needed time to think and didn't want to be bugged about it or for there it be an awkward silence. Could be she's just shy and nervous.

I would wait a few days and if she doesn't bring it up just be like "So you said maybe, could I get a more definite answer now?"

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-05-29 13:33 ID:/ERMFXG0

Do you actually think those are likely possibilities though?

Or are you just trying to come up with any kind of alternative explanation?

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-05-30 04:48 ID:wboJ/heo


I think they're likely possibilities. It's hard to say what it meant because I wasn't there and I don't know her, so there could be lots of possibilities. People are weird.

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8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-01 08:32 ID:hWUg42pj

She doesn't want to date you, and saying "maybe" was her way of saying no. Don't bring it up again.

And don't be bitter and unfriendly either. There are so many different reasons why a girl might say no to a question like that: she might have a boyfriend, you might not be her type, she might not want to date anyone right now, she might be a lesbian, she might not feel comfortable dating a coworker...

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-01 13:46 ID:/ERMFXG0

This is what I thought initially, and I wasn't planning to bring it up again.

But after reading some of the other responses here, I thought I might ask one last time the next time I saw her, then let the issue drop after that.

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10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-06 18:30 ID:0jvnMfsQ

Well I see it like this: If you do nothing, nothing will happen, if she does nothing, nothing will happen, if you do something, then maybe something will happen.
Is there anything to lose if you do something?

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-10 18:33 ID:/ERMFXG0

OP here.
Well, she has a boyfriend.

After utterly torturing me yesterday by taking off her t-shirt to work outside and wearing nothing but a black bra and jeans (there were extenuating circumstances, she doesn't usually do that sort of thing), today I saw her standing with a guy who was frequently stroking her head and rubbing her shoulder, so I can only assume he's her boyfriend since I've never seen her touchy with anyone else.

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12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-11 17:01 ID:KXBwxy90

>>1: she's probably either a) the insecure type or b) still clinging on that ex that she dumped on the first place. at this point...i would bounce and keep the workplace relationship as co-workers only. however, if you still like her...i would try small talking with her. try talking about yourself and how the day goes. if anything, maybe try talking about your friends and family. when the conversation gets more and more insightful, she'll probably open up and mention y she's still wit her ex.

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-12 00:10 ID:/ERMFXG0

What makes you think she's insecure or that this guy is her ex?

The only reason I ever thought she was single was because her facebook status said "Single", not because she ever told me so.

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14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-06-12 18:27 ID:KXBwxy90

good for you. moving on is better than just clinging onto helpless hope