Well the sexuality board was deleted anyway, so it's okay!
What exactly is your question? Should you or should you not have sex before marriage? If that's your question then I would say yes, because it is possible you like who someone is, but then be just plain sexually incompatible with them. So then you are married to someone who you can't make love to enjoyably.
On the word "slut", having a "friends-with-benifets" relationship with someone does not make you a slut. A "slut" is someone who fucks with any and every stud on campus at the drop of a hat, without even knowing who they are. So don't worry about that.
Honestly, I think people should be able to do what they want sexually. Do what you want. You can occasionally have sex with someone you know without even remotely coming close to being a what is known as a slut.
Oh, and having sex and making love are two different things. If/when you fall in love with someone, having sex with them is a whole other beast.
With the family thing, I don't really have an answer for you here. You can still get married while being a virgin. The vast majority of people do. It's not like it's impossible. You can lie to them, but like you said you don't want to. You could be brave and tell them that you're going to not have your sex life dictated by them, and then they will just have to get mad and deal with it. It sounds like the culture you live in has one idea about sexuality, and you have your own. There is no real right or wrong answer on this point. Ultimately, it's your choice.