[What's the national sport in Japan? It's suicide.]

I'm fired. ---> I'll kill myself immediately.
I make mistakes in business. ---> I'll kill myself to take responsibility.
A painful event happened. ---> I'll kill myself of course.
I'm not an able worker. ---> I'll kill myself soon.
I'm worried about my future vaguely. ---> I'll kill myself nonsensically.
I have a secret. ---> I have to kill myself.
I'm hated by someone. ---> I can't stand it, so I kill myself.
Nobody loves me. ---> I have no reasons to live more.
I'm tired recently. ---> It's too painful to live more.
I'm disgusted with this world. ---> It's a time for suicide.
I'm young yet. ---> I should kill myself to be not late.
I'm old. ---> I sould kill myself. Better late than never.
No friends are mine. ---> So I kill myself.
My friend is dead. ---> I also kill myself.
My friends are living. ---> Then I kill myself first.
My suicide will make my family sad. ---> But I'll kill myself.
My suicide will make my enemy happy. ---> But I'll choose my regretful death.
My suicide will make everyone painful. ---> But I'll kill myself without worrying that.
The government started to stop it. ---> It's too stupid to stop it.

All Japanese are divided into two kinds.
Persons who don't commit suicide yet, (they will commit suicide soon.)
or persons who can't determine to commit suicide till they will be killed by an accident, or a disease, or a murderer, or natural death.