Part II. Thread for discussing those times when you were out interacting with other people, but did things that you think a "normal" or "social" person wouldn't have done. (Because you were too shy, didn't know how to react, etc.)
Please no discussion of "bottling" this time.
Concerning bottling. This is a very unsanitary and unsafe practice that helps in spreading disease. Please do the world a favor and stop this practice. The flushable toilet is one of the worlds best inventions because it saves millions of lives. Don't think you're doing the world a favor by saving the 2 gallons of water when you're becoming a carrier for disease.
>>30
I didn't think I could get a one person dorm considering I was a freshman, nor did I have any special connections or funds for an alternative to a multi-person dorm room. Another issue is that, even if I had a room to myself, I would still feel anxious being in a building that had a large number of people in it, even if I didn't have to interact with them directly. This is probably due in part to not socializing very much growing up.
>>31
I was enrolled in the computer science program, not because I wanted to be a programmer but because I had a little experience with programming as a hobby and had no idea what else I could possibly do. Now I'm just a NEET with no goals for the future.
You can always go back to college and get your degree.
I dropped out of school and done nothing but browse a particular image board for the past year
I dont go outside or see my friends at all
tis boring ... but oh well =\
Sorry to hijack this thread, but I didn't wanna start another hikikomori/shut-in thread just to ask this. Anyway, what I wanted to ask is, what do you guys do about haircuts? Assuming you don't leave the house for months at a time, maybe even longer, your hair would get quite long. Do you cut it yourself? Or do you suck it up and just go to a barber shop?
I ask because my hair grows ridiculous fast, so I need a haircut more often than most. And as a hikky, I'm not comfortable leaving the house altogether, but the barber shop is an especially uncomfortable place, because you're bound to that chair forced to answer all sorts of personal questions, such as "Are you in school?", "What are you plans for today?", etc., etc. So as you can imagine, I get very uncomfortable, but at the same time, I don't want my hair growing so long that I look like some kind of emo faggot.
>>36
I've always cut my own hair, and when I was young my father did it. I've never been to a barbershop.
>>37
Well, I still have relatives to deal with, and they make their comments. Plus, I am forced to venture outdoors about a couple times every few months by one of my relatives, either because they have something going on, or want to do something with me, and I have trouble getting out of these things.
>>38
I've never attempted to cut my own hair before. Is it difficult?
You claimed to be a hikki who I assumed stay in your room most of the time. I want to get an indication of your situation by knowing your age.
You are young who still have lots of time to change your circumstances.
If you are over 25, I have an impression it is much harder for you to return. In addition, as you age, you regret more and more, along with depression, it only gets worser by the age.
And who am I to ask?
I'm in my mid 20's, I've already contemplated suicide, actually I've plan it in future in the likelihood that if I fail miserably by the time I get to mid 30's, I will execute a plan to suicide by burning charcoal. Luckily there is still this option left where I can choose die so easily and painlessly using this procedure without going through the pain from other methods.
I hope you don't end up like me.
>>42 (heheh 42) It's never too late to unbecome a hikky!
>>42
Suicide is about the only thing more pointless than life itself. Just live with the fact that life is hell, and start doing random shit to make it a little less hellish.
I'm not a hikikomori, because I have a job. But when I don't have a job I become one pretty fast (longest stretch was about 9 months. Not as impressive as some.) Unfortunately, for me, the drive for earning money is too great not to work. Maybe you need to get a list of things you really want to buy and start working through the list. If you already get money from elsewhere then start listing things for which that money is not enough.
Other than not talking much, I haven't really done any hikki-like things in a while.
In fact, I willingly said two extra sentences to a yes or no question two days ago. Go me!
I will contribute to this thread by saying: Don't commit suicide.
i go to restaurants by myself after school sometimes, its relaxing, im so sick of people right now. and suicide is for emo wussies, ARE YOU AN EMO WUSSY?!
yes I am :()
Someone who is prepared to take their own life is the most powerful person in the world, they can accomplish anything:
When you've got nothing left to lose, what's stopping you from doing any damn thing you like?
See: Suicide Bombers - although there's more effective things you can do to change the world then simply blowing up a few Israelis or Americans. The point is, this actually opens up opportunities for you. How would you like to see the world changed? Just go out and do it! It doesn't matter if you fail and or die in the process, since you don't care about your life anyway, right?
"No matter how far down the wrong road you have travelled, turn back."
I was invited by my relative and childhood friend to a graduation celebration with schoolmates and all. It was really embarrassing. I said next to nothing, and the few things that I said were misheard. I was not comfortable at all and even once left for a bathroom break to kill time outside the crowd. These people who I was invited to dine with where not bunch of assholes that I hate, they were actually a bunch that I liked. Funny, smart and all.
There was another gathering, and my friend called me to be there, after all I have been in the same school with these people for 4 years. But I blew it off, she was not amused with my excuses.
u guys do know that a hikkomori is not someone who is socially awkward but who avoids social interaction all the time by just staying in his room, right?
Yeah I do but here NEET and hikky basically have the same definition but the majority of people here are half-hikkys or/and just NEETs....
I did go a party once...
Soon after the end of my grade school days someone who I had kept in contact with invited to go out with him to a party one day on the weekend. I accepted his offer but when I went inside the establishment it just became an unbearable situation. I sat there doing nothing and speaking to no one annoying by the entire experience. I left 30 minutes later and went home alone and back to my computer.
One of my other friends got a hold of my phone number and invited me to go skydiving. I turned that friend down not because I wouldn't mind going skydiving but because I would rather stand in front of a computer screen fap, watch anime, and lurk around the internet. In retrospect that is sad but since than I've done nothing to change the situation.
>>Yeah I do but here NEET and hikky basically have the same definition but the majority of people here are half-hikkys or/and just NEETs....
No, no, and no. Definitely. WRONG. Stop the confusion. Please.
*** NEET != 引き篭り ***56 here
I know what it means..
NEET - Neither Education, Employment or Training...
Hikkomori - People who have chosen to withdraw from social life, often seeking extreme degrees of isolation and confinement due to various personal and social factors in their lives.
Now knowing that they ARE similar to a degree a person who is a hikky is NEET and you could also say arguably that someone that is NEET is a hikky/half hikky depending on that person's situation.
>>59
Yes, but they are two different words, aimed at describing two different sets of parameters, even if they have some or most in common.
A chair isn't a stool, and a stool isn't a chair.
You know that, so use the right word, and do not add to the confusion for people who don't know, won't care to know or whatever.
NEET != Hikkikomori != Loner != Asocial, and so on.
How can all of you neet/hikki live for long periods of time without working? Do you live with your parents? Or collect welfare?
how many seek help? Medication? Psychiatry?
well, its pretty easy to figure out that neets and hiki's have some person to latch onto in order to survive. The most common one would be the parent. And it really depends on a number of factors, its not just a mental issue. Some neets are able to socialize fine, but choose not to. and therapy in most cases is another word for medication. Its a joke, really.
> half hikky
Worthless. Just pick Hikky for the stat bonuses or Human for the flexibility.
I couldn't say i'm a hikky or an avoidant. I'm a loner, i don't really care if there is people around, as long as they let me be. But, there are some kind of people that just wouldn't understand that because you see them in a regular basis, that still won't make them my "friends".
Last week, i had to do a homework with a classmate. So sociable it almost made me throw up. He wouldn't concentrate in the homework, his petty talk was driving me nuts. And then a revelation came to me. I remembered he was homophobic. So, i flirted with him. You should have really seen his face : D He got so scared he tried to hit me, but i grabbed his arm and pushed him to the wall, and leaned my face closer and closer to his :3 . He ran away from my house almost crying like a little girl, and next day he tells the teacher he doesn't want to do the homework, leaving me free to do it all by myself.
>>69
well done kid, you're going to be the victim of homophobic verbal and physical attacks for the next few years.
>>70
Not afraid of that. I can easily dispatch anyone in my class in seconds. I think i might even enjoy that, and i would have a good excuse to do it. Last time i got into a fight i sent the two other guys to hospital. And, concerning the "verbal attacks", i couldn't care less. Who gives a fuck about those people anyways?
> I can easily dispatch anyone in my class in seconds.
oh lawldy!
You're also a fool.
Well... I didn't realize this but I actually did a hikikomori thing a few months ago. I took a two weeks vacation from work like every summer and instead of going anywhere I spent it all in my room. I went outside a grand total of 3 times I think, and alone. Had my phone off for about 10 days straight and no IM. Now that I think about it I do something similar several times a year and have done it since elementary school. But never for months at a time - though now that I think about it I couldn't think of a better way to get some off time and rest from the society... Whenever I come out of isolation again after days and go into public it feels weird, like there's to many people, to much noise, to much movement. It takes me a full day to get used to "others" again... and I hate trains and buses jam-packed-full of people, where my only defenses are my mp3 player and closing my eyes.
I'm a first year at university, and it has been 3 weeks since I attended any of my classes. I live by myself and only respond to my parents phone calls from over seas pretending that everything is alright.
Going to the classes suddenly became bothersome, I hate the Subways, The lecture halls and tutorials. just going to the university makes me feel stupid and frustrated. In high school I slacked off all my time, doing nothing and only attending the classes and I got to a top university with a 84% average. But this place is different, I have no idea what the fuck the profs are talking about, its just too hard.
Last week I almost set the kitchen on fire, part of the ceiling melted and fell on the pan and started to burn. I had to wash the whole place cause everything was smoked, the damn kitchen walls were the hardest and almost black, took me 6 hours to get them. And guess what the day before yesterday I almost did it again, I left the pan with hot oil on again, but this time I got it before there was any fire. Now at the slightest noise I jump up and go to the kitchen thinking there is a fire.
I'm starting to believe that I just can't save my own ass,I have no freaking Idea what to do now, the program which I am in is REALLY hard and requires a lot of time, there is a midterm in 36 hours and I don't know jack shit about the subject
God, I hope there was reset button somewhere.
>>75
About university, it's like this: the best way would be to attack the relevant literature that the profs recommended to you all at the beginning of the semester. On the actual lectures all I ever did is try to follow them - and failed because many of the profs had no idea how to properly lecture at all :( So I just tried to make notes as best as I could and copy notes from those who had good study and note taking habits from high school. About study habits, you said you slacked all the time in high school - I think you should pick up a book on how to study, there is a method to it and you have to make it a habit. Go to library and ask the librarian if they have a book on how to write papers and do research and casually throw in if they have also a book on how to effectively study. If it's not to hard for you - find someone to study with you, it's easier because the two of you encourage and motivate each other.
Well...
I've been isolating myself for many years now. I think it began earlier than that but what finally made me prefer being alone in my room was being heavily bullied in school at the age of 13 to about 16 (I'm between 22 and 27 years old). This may be what caused me to be extremely sensitive and probably paranoid about what people might think of me. My problem is that any time when I'm among people, I think about what they might think of me or how they perceive me.
If anyone looks at me, my thoughts start racing: What do I look like at the moment? Could I possibly have anything on my face? Did I just make a weird facial expression? Could my current stance/position make anyone think I'm weird? And so on. As such, very often when I'm not sure that I'm alone, I consciously act like someone is watching me. Sometimes I even imagine that some specific person is watching me and act accordingly. It's hard to explain. The whole point of it is that I subconsciously hope that this behavior will keep me from getting any kind of attention, especially negative attention.
Of course this whole deal means a lot of stress at any time I'm among other people. So I started isolating myself more and more. Finally, I've lived for about 4 years without seeing almost any people whatsoever.
Due to my parents' intervention I had to undergo therapy and do now have a job. I felt a lot better: I was more confident and even able to see my future in a positive way. That was almost a new experience for me. Things were going great. Or so I thought...
From an objective point of view I think I'm doing pretty well at my job, I have a lot of knowledge about the subject, I do get a lot of things finished and I can take lots of work off my boss' shoulders already. But I think I don't have to tell you that the mind doesn't see things objectively most of the time. I mostly see my mistakes and shortcomings. To make it worse, I avoid going to lunch with my colleagues or walking around in the office because people might try to start a conversation. And I'm pretty sure they've already notices that in a way, I'm a weirdo.
I don't even know what the point of my post is. I've been lurking for years and I think I just wanted to share for once.
Well, good night and all the best.
Before dinner I blew my nose in my hands before washing them. That kind of stuff only comes after many years of social isolation.
>>78
Ummm... I've done that all my life O_o" Blow it all out, wash up, and carry on.
They say one should not give a damn about what others think about one... but that's harder than it sounds! The only way I could ever do it is to let my personality out, the good, the bad... and the ugly, though I still try to hide the ugly. Basically, to grow and have a social life, I had to learn how those who can naturally do it, do it. It sucks, I feel for you, it's hard. I wish you the best of luck.
*** I to used to be bullied in the primary school and am your age now :(