High school story, the average kind. I have some jerks in my class, that keep harassing others. Usually the ones with less physical, and/or social skills.
One of them kinda bullied me yesterday because I stepped on his shoe by accident after the gym class in the dressing room. Lol what a prick. Just because im shorter than he, and not an asshole. This means that im the nerdy type guy in there, so excellent material for a good day harassment, but thank god they usually leave me alone and go elsewhere, because I have my own crew, and also, im kinda a hikkikomori and simply too "low" material for them.
My questions are: Why are they doing this?
And, what can a socially inept-like guy do against these kind of persons?
Any good insults and comebacks against them? I need verbal self-defense skills. It would be kind of fun too, because our fights are always verbal.
The way to deal with people like that is to ignore them completely. If they know they won't get any response out of you they'll get bored and bother you less. Also, you will probably feel less annoyed at the end of the day if you're not spending your time arguing with idiots.
It's never a good idea to attempt to escalate a situation, verbally or non-verbally. It's a waste of time for you and a lot of the sort of people who will initiate verbal attacks are the sort of people who think that physical violence is an appropriate response to verbal insults.
As far as these people's reasons go, I'm not sure. It's possible that it's attention-seeking behaviour. They get responses from most people they pick on, and there's often the factor of being told off by a teacher or parent. If somebody isn't getting enough praise in their daily life, being scolded will suffice. There's also level of coolness to be gained by being nasty, and cliques of these people will form and they'll praise each other.
Try not to step on their shoes. Apologise if you actually do, just like you would to anyone else.
I've never had a problem with "tough guys"... though, it's probably because I'm cool myself, eventhough I'm quiet.
act like you don't hear them and then when they try to physically attack you, beat the shit out of them.
bonus points if you let them beat the shit out of you once and then tell a teacher about it. the teacher won't do anything about it and then when they attack you again and you beat the shit out of them you'll be in a much better position to claim that it was in self defense. also, the teacher could get in a lot of trouble for not doing anything the first time.
I would insult them back and if they touch me I would hit back or fight if I felt like it. But then, I've gotten a three day suspension for fighting; you probably won't want that.
Just walk away. If they are trying to start a fight, don't honor their request and just walk away. Who cares if they call you a wimp, at least you don't beating and a suspension.
>>im kinda a hikkikomori
What the heck? Why do the people around here think this word is just another way of saying that you have some kind of social anxiety disorder? It's far, far more than that.
Ignoring/walking away is an option when you yourself get harrased, but what would you all do if someone else got bullied? I'm not the OP, but I have no idea what one could do, too.
>>7
Thruth. I'm not very social, too, but if you go to school/leave your house regularily you can't really call yourself a hikki.
>>9
The policy is the same. Just ignore it. And hope that they have the same policy.
I've been in the position of being with somebody while being harrassed many times. It's embarassing. The thing I hate most is when people say "just ignore it" - I already am doing! If you really must discuss the situation, do it later or make sure you don't say anything loud enough for the harrasser to hear.
Actually, I understand what >>1 means with that. There was a guy in my previous class who only went outside to go to school, he spent the rest of his waking life playing World of Warcraft. He didn't have any social anxiety at all though, he was more like an addict, once he tried to stop playing, but he re-installed WoW shortly afterwards.
>>11
A hikkikomori wouldn't go to school. Some people here are using hikki to describe practically anyone who would choose an at-home activity over an out-of-home activity.
Talk back to them. If they punch you, they get in trouble. Simple.
>>13
That's asuming that a) you want to get punched, and b) the school will do something about it.
>>13
except that they won't get in trouble unless you have proof that they punched you and you call the police. the school won't do shit about it unless someone is seriously injured.
>>15 Most schools have security cameras these days, and jerk types are probably stupid enough to punch you in front of one.
But I should add, you might want to be careful not to get a truly dangerous asshole in trouble with the police for assaulting you. Otherwise they might come after you outside of school. Or maybe not. I'm just saying don't keep yourself shot up lol
As for >>1, be careful with "verbal self-defense." If you're not good at it, an attempt to make a cool comeback can end up making you look really dorky and uncool. If you have a good sense of humor, maybe try to let it show. If those type of guys think you're funny, they'll leave you alone or may even be friendly with you. In 9th or 10th grade I had a keyboarding class and there was an asshole-type football player there who I'm pretty sure picked on me the very first day. But at some point I guess he started to think I was funny and was nice to me from there on out. I should also note, though, that I was going through the Hot Topic goth clothes phase sometime around then, and people like that usually aren't picked on (directly) from my experience.
Ignore it? Watch sitcoms much? That shit is not going to work. That will provoke them to bullying you further. I've seen it happen to people. Don't even try to preach that shit here.
You have to stop being a bitch and stand up for yourself. It's that simple. If someone talks shit to you that offends you, talk shit to them as well or tell them to fuck off. If they so much as to just lay a finger on you or get physical in any way, I don't care if you're just 112lbs, you return the favor. Scratching, biting, aiming for the nuts, any advantage you can get if you are going against a bigger person. Doesn't matter if you win or lose, it just the point that you had the balls to do so, and that will tell people that you're one person not to fuck with. It's that simple. This is life and sometimes you have to fight.
Now, if the bully in question is like 275-300lbs, I would run from the fat bastard. He can't catch you haha.
>>18
One problem with fighting back is that most bullies work in groups and if you go against one, you will find yourself against a bunch of them. If you are away from other people -- sometimes they won't even care about getting caught, you are fucked.
Snap and go into a berserker, breaking fingers and pouding faces in until the person is no longer recognizable.
If you're still young, though, you might not have been able to bottle up enough anger and hatred inside of you to make this effective yet.
just become popular. or join their joy of bullying kids that will later suicide as an escape route.
Bring a gun and shoot one of the assholes. That should teach them not to mess with the number one nigga in town.
Forget guns
Either instantly snap or stab a screwdriver through his neck
while calling him a nigger as he dies
Then when anyone else dares to step to you, you can do something different, maybe take the driver through their eye, temple, rip their arm off and golf swing it against their head as they lay on the ground in screaming agonizing pain from the blood loss and bone seperation or just find a way to knock them down (trip, kick to the check, punch to the face then grab head then fiercely pull head downwards to your rising knee) and then simply perform a small hop landing an single heel onto their chest/head anywhere really as the pain will be enough to immobilize them if you don't go for a fatal area.
Or if you just want to let him off with a warning, spin him around then kick him in the ass as hard as you can though I may add if you nail where the tailbone is hard enough you CAN also kill him that way too so it may be an option.
>>18
Is right. Work Out and just do as u like as in style of fighting (biting...). Well I didn't want to compare to make my advice lighter but it is kind of like Densha Otoko just have the balls to fight and get beat up.
Well, if you can't attack the one directly and punch him on the face, or say shit to him, just act behind de scenes! Try(if you know the right ones) spreading rumors about the guy, or another indirect way of combat, like incriminating the guy. 9 in 10 guys would run scared from the schools if all the people knew that he 'was saw doing something VERY wrong'. Don't saying things like 'steal somethings and incriminate the guy', just easier things to give him another fame than the 'monster harasser'. Maybe Photoshop will help you? XD
>>27 must be female.
But since there are no girls on the internet, he must be a gay guy.
>>28
Not a girl, just a guy who stands for a real case of defense =P Guess what happens if you just go and say some shits to the guy... or worse: try to fight with him. Not only you'll be beaten(except in cases that the guy isn't the type 'monster harasser'. But then it's another thread...), but you'll pass over more humiliation and fear...
Ok... Whatever! XD
1st: EVER ATTRACT ATTENTION
2nd: TAKE THE HIGH ROAD,do ANYTHING, be unpredictable. be the wierd un shaved guy who looks likes he is about to snap any time and start killing people.
Don't respond to bullies and act all shy and offended like a little whiny bitch, but then suddenly snap for almost no reason, start yelling at them in middle of a class and tell them to shut the fuck up. if they got physical. like lets say, they forced you out behind a school computer liberary and took over it, then take the extremes, like grabing the monitor and smashing it to the ground. and if you over got in a fight ( i did ). fight like there is no tomarrow, it doesn't matter what you do, just hurt them any way you can and don't give up, hit em in the nunts or throw a knife ( well if they already got knifes, then you need guns, which i don't reccomend, but be somehow one step ahead all the time ) . you may not look pretty afterwards, but i'm sure you wont be bothered again.
i was bullied to the point of insanity in my first tow years of middle school years in a private all boys school. in the third year i just sacted unpreadictable and always one step ahead , same people... , but i was never bothered agian. and somehow now that i am in highschool, i am not bothered any more ( even thought i don't put up any acts any more, i kinda learned how to have the "right" attitude through this )
Kill yourself and no one will ever bother you again. Otherwise, just grab some friends and beat them one by one.
> Otherwise, just grab some friends and beat them one by one.
how would beating your friends help?
ops
beat the ppl that bully you
I think he meant gang up on the bullies one-by-one.
hmm i had the same situation last year, u gotta find the courage to stand up for ur self otherwise ur live is gonna be a living hell. u could just beat them up and they will never touch u again
Well, from my experience, intellectual bullies are a lot more effective than physical ones. The people you're talking about don't seem very intelligent to begin with, and are obviously craving attention and power; that's what bullies typically want. I suggest biding your time until you can come up with something good; until then, join the debate team in your school, or do mock debates/arguments with your friends to get some practice in. Learning how to improvise and come up with things on the fly is a very useful skill to have, and just like any other skill, practice makes perfect. Also, you might want to pick up a bit of self-defense in, just in case they try and attack you physically. Remember, you can't get in trouble if you were only defending yourself.:)
I agree with the folks that are telling you to take the high road. I would however not even get into any prolonged verbal exchaanges with them. It ends up making both of the parties look the same. Loud and noisy is not cool. If it does get into a physical thing then you must surround yourself with a group of friends that are always willing to tow the line. If you and three other guys always stick up for eachother you will create a force that people will not want to mess with. Even the biggest guy knows that he has no chance against a group of four who attack at the same time. You ALWAYS need to hurt them more than they hurt you last. If you are hit while alone, you and you crew needs to find the ass and hit him hard as soon as possible. Get him outside his house or somewhere else off school grounds. Remember a close knit crew of three or four is formidable, if you can create this you will be safe. The worry of "them" doing the same thing is a waste, you will find that putting together a crew like this is difficult and involves more comraderie and loyalty than most bullies can foster. Remember, there is NO SUCH THING as dirty fighting. You ned to do what you must do to end a fight as quickly as possible. NO WEAPONS or you are just a gheto gangbanger. You and your friends should pick up the best martial art there is. Kali. It is fun and terrible. All this I say comes from experiance. Your crew is forever and your best defense. It only takes a few times before even the biggest dummy learns the lesson.
Number > Strength
And like >>39 said, you'll not be doing a dirty fighting if you're not into an arena or something. And if they try to counter with a crew too, well... Try LASERS! Your group with lasers will be invencible! No man will cross your way again!
But if you don't find lasers, try arguing with them. Funny jokes(not the ones that only your friends will ever understand, like: "I'll beat you... WITH LASERS!" or "PH34R MY L33T SKI11Z" O_o) will make the day. Probably you'll get punched a few times, but in the end no one will remember you were punched like... 1871564809423489452147 times, but will remember that "the mother of Mr. Bullier don't eat pigs 'cause she loves her equals" xD
He should befriend some sharks with friggin' laser beams on their heads.
An important thing to understand is that when you are bullied by a group, the group dynamics can make otherwise decent people complete assholes.
If you have the balls to do it, a nice way to defuse some group bullying situations is to choose a specific target in the group (if you can, someone that looks about your stength), and say that "If any of you guys continue giving me shit, I will hold you (point finger to your target) responsible, and will fuck you up completely some day when you're alone."
Helped me once, and worked 30 years ago for my father who told me about it, but it may not work for you - make sure you understand the ennemy so you won't make things worse.
testing
Don't pick on nerds 'cause they're your future bosses. Hah.
?
if its verbal go with one of two ways
show your intelligence and outsmart them
or
simply go for the sting figure out what he likes and bomb it to oblivion
Call the cops on them each and every time. The police will get so tired of coming that they will tell the school to take care of the students or they will be fined for keeping a disordely place.
Bullies do crap for the attention. Ignore them. Dont try to get back at them because thats what they want. They want to show others they can get a rise out of you and a good laugh.
If I ever, ever have kids, I'm going to raise them to be fucking awesome kids on the playground. They'll be strong and confident, just like the bullies (more so, because they'll have self-esteem too), except from day 1 I will teach them to love all people, I'll teach them that we're all equal. Every human is wonderful, even the small few who have problems that cause them to be assholes. I'll teach my children to stand up for those who can't stand up for themselves.
My kids are going to be fucking awesome B)
#47, nice Bill Gates quote there.
Try luring them to a secluded place, away from school, where you've already set up a camera far in the distance. Act upset, wimpy, get the bully to attack you, then bust out the stun gun and fry them!!!!Continue to shake and bake his ass till his eyeballs burn out! Bully will NEVER attack you again. I swear to god. Video works in your favor as long as it is edited properly. Legally, you were defending yourself! You "coldn't control yourself" and were overcome by rage. With you age and the public's current perception of teen issues...you would walk away scott free.
Knock his fucking ass out.
tell them u are a gay. they might run away
or u can just stab them with a knife, and eat them.
People say that i look like Drug Dealers. I usually wear camouflage pants, an earth colored T-shirt, got long hair but with a gray hat over it, a bit beard and this fucking huge gray jacked with pockets which my hands is always in them. I also have "tattoos" on my right wrist, but its fake...
I had happened to me a few times where people have asked me if I sell weed. not to mention i don't even touch cigarettes(well, did only once ... or twice). And some classmates are a bit couscous around me. i know it sounds stupid, but i think my looks got me through high school with no problem. never had some one on my case.
yea , once this guy was bothering my cousin, told him to fuck off and he pretty much did. Its great to be in "good" part of the twon , hah!
people say that i look like a gay. i usually wear nothing.
i had happen to me a few times where people have asked me if i have sex with guys.
yea, once this guy was bothering my cousin, told him to fuck you and he ran away. its great to be in "good" part of the twon
That is very insulting. Don't put yourself in that title. You are worth shit. If I see you on the street, I beat you up to death.
Eric and Dylan had the right idea but went about it in the wrong fashion.
If I ever had kids, I'd teach them how to fight and win just like in Ender's Game. None of this chivalry bullshit. Someone hits you, hit them back until they can not get up and hit you again.
It's because strong likes to prey on weak. You have to become stronger (mentally and physically). Here's what I would do if that happened... Be witty... Play cool... Play around with words etc.
Anyways good luck... I can't help much since there isn't anyone who is bullying me really... So I wouldn't know well.
No one messes with me at school, I am too quiet so people don't really pay attention to me. Sadly, many think I am a faggot and girls ignore me. Oh well...
too quiet so people at my school think im "off" just dont let it bother you and if it does introduce them to something hard like a pipe or a fist
I got bullied for dressing and acting differently. They never took me seriously when I told them I was going to lose my temper, until I actually did. But when I lost my temper and started screaming at them and throwing things around, they just laughed. Now, in their eyes, I'm not just The Goth Chick, I'm The Mentally Disturbed Goth Chick, and I get bullied even more. If you ask me, it's safer to come up with witty replies, and act emotionless.
>>67
You probably just forgot to hurt them hard in the process. Things that leave scars, or things that hurt for some weeks. If they aren't hurt, they don't care.
As a guy I hate to say this, but you're bullied so whatever... aim for the balls.
But of course, managing to reply and get the upper hand emotionless would be better.
well you have to earn peoples respect so they dont fuck with you.. either by doing something respectable.. like not giving up on something hard. or simply just tell them the truth like hey what the fuck is wrong with you? why are you messing with this person or that.. as for me, i phyiscally fought people who messed with me.
just keep smiling and act like they dont exist.
I'm a girl and I've experienced bullying from guys. Not because I'm part of the less popular group or whatever, but because I didn't turn out like they expected. When I first moved to the school, they were all cracking on to me, but when I wasn't responsive enough they started being snide and gossipy. Basically, they were used to bimbos and ditzes. It didn't bother me because I never try to pretend to be something that I'm not. Treat everyone equally. Stand your ground. Don't ever think that because they appear more popular, you should talk to them differently or try to assimilate. Then you're just acknowledging that they're better than you, and inviting them to segregate you. At the same time, don't be cocky either. People respect and trust me. You decide who you are, not them.
>>71
i would rape you. you may not assimilate, but i will most certainly inseminate.
(this is a personal issue of mine that may deserve its own thread)
just a suggestion: if you do get in a fight, get a weapon. knives, a length of pipe, a thick stick, a golf club... it doesn't matter. get something heavy and hard and attack only when they attack you. you will probably get hit in the process, but they will get hurt a lot worse. i have seen a 200lb guy die when hit in the head with a golf club by a guy close to 100lbs. you CAN fuck them up.
the trick is to get it through their thick skulls that if they try to hurt you they are going to get hurt very badly. even if they do end up beating the shit out of you, if they have cuts or a huge bruise on the side of their face they will think twice next time.
people also don't fight to well when they have an inch or two of steel in their gut. it's not fatal, but the look on their face is priceless
Get friends of your own... could save your butts (and can be great meat shields)
BE a mage and have your friends tank and gett all the agro while you can fireballs. A healer (preferably female) is good to.
Have your friends tank, getting all the agro. Also invite a female healer in your group, cast fireballs from distance and have the healer cover the tanks. You should be fine as long as you keep your DPS higher than them for the most part. When they reach 20% have the healer focus on you and go ahead and nuke them, then a DOA and done!
(fixed >>77 , looks like i need to get some sleep)
ummm... I think more realistic way to handle this situation is to stand up for your self, stand up for others, learn to self defend, and always act cool/calm. Well I hope it goes well.
nah man... what you need to do is... basically learn some vital spots... the balls... neck... near the chest(by the arpits). Basically since u seem weaker than them... Confront em one on one... Follow them home or w/e... Then as the other guy said... Kick their ass.. Do w/e you have to do... Kick em in the balls... and jab em in the eyes... Since they gang up on you (probably dont beat you up or nething) but its still a gang up... So theres nothing wrong with playin cheap. Neways Get a few of them one on one. But dont stop with just a few kicks or w/e... Make sure u make a big impression... A BIG one. If you dont make em scared enough they will come back at you and prolly jump you.
Im not saying go kill neone... but yea...
That whole "confront your fears and stand up to them" is bullshit... and u will probably just get beaten up. Because most likely you will be like "im not going to stand for this" Then the guy(s) will just look around and see people are expecting something because if he doesnt kick ur ass on the spot... it makes him look bad... I really dont think violence is a good thing... but sometimes its needed.
ah by the way... i really didnt real the whole thread... so if something sounds out of place... its because i only saw like the begining and the end... so somone might have suggested this already... and yea... i prolly sound stupid.. but it doesnt turn out like in cartoons where the kid "stands up" and like people are like whoa i better leave him alone.
why not create E-mails for each bully and send extremely insulting mails around the school. that way, the bully(s) would get expelled/embarrassed/suspended and then, "BAM!" situation done. and >>80 is right. standing up to them is a bad idea. it would give the bullies more of a reason to bully you.
bullies do this kind of thing to be more accepted in their own "group", as it's the only way they know to be accepted amongst others of that mindset.
i wouldn't let it escalate into a confrontation, just answer "my bad, oops", and let it go. Don't actually go picking the fight... Avoiding a fight takes much more skill than actually fighting..
should you get into an actual, physical fight, however, it's a different story... if a fight is started, then fight with every intent to end the fight, even if you come out of it hurting... Only stop when the other person isn't continuing his aggression...
i am one of the popular kids and it ticks me off when kids just ignore me when i mouth off to them so just try that!!
never been bullied, never bullied
dig your fingers into his eyes and yank them out, that il sho dat bitch
pashaw.
I agree brother.
HAIL SATAN!
How sad.
:I
I got mine from him last winter.