well I've come out of that situation where I'm not that scared to go out anymore. One day I just said fuck it, because I'm a man I will go out, get a job, do that sort. I'm putting my ideas bout people in play, and also made a new discovery, I usually only cared bout my own happiness but then started helping people out and someone said thanx. It was probably the first time I heard anyone thank me in such a manner, I guess it mattered because it came from the heart, lmfao. Yeah stupid but even these little things can help you along the way, though i have no sense of moral justice, it doesn't hurt to want to help others. It's take care of your own hide or sacrafice yourself to help others, dunno, it's its own reward.