Heaven or living hell?: Update from a hikikomori. (11)

1 Name: Anonymous : 2007-02-21 01:19 ID:ERCa/jkj

For those who missed my last thread, a brief outline of my life.
Just turned 27, home schooled w/ hs diploma, and been a shutin since about 1993 when i left school.

So I just got my permit so I can learn how to drive. Since I live in the middle of nowhere its likely the only way out of the hole I'm in.

It seems that getting a college degree would be nothing but pain for me. My strengths lie in humanistic fields like history and culture, but most universities seem to have general education requirements which include math for which i have zero ability. I would like to study history but once math is in the picture it really puts me off.

I mean my intellect is not lacking , a friend of mine who graduated Summa cum laude said that I am one of the smartest people he has met and that i know more than most who hold degrees.

Really I have have a certain sense of superiority in that everything i know in history and philosophy I learned myself purely for the sake of knowledge and not for material gain, unlike the common masses. My tortured course has not been in vain.

2 Name: Anonymous : 2007-02-21 07:25 ID:wax4Y2fS

Hah! I'm with you when it comes to math, I managed to dodge it though when I chose art school.

There have got to be programs out there that don't require math. Of course, I'm coming from an art school perspective, where math is rarely in the picture. Even so, I know there are some strong humanities programs out there that have lenient math requirements.

3 Name: Anonymous : 2007-02-21 09:00 ID:vmRcjH0b

Congratulations on finally getting your permit! I read your other thread and it is good that you have made some progress since then.

4 Name: Anonymous : 2007-02-21 19:30 ID:ERCa/jkj

When i am home with the computer, books, movies etc., I have little reason to venture out into the world. Going out is when this style of life really starts to get to you by seeing things that are denied those who don't play the game by the rules.

One of the only girls i have ever tried to talk with was a waitress at a chinese restaurant who was from macau. So I mention the history of ancient china which is one of my interests. We spoke about history for a bit, the opium wars and dynastic chronologies. So she mentions that she is going to school for accounting, What can I say about my background?. And thats that.

All this makes me feel at times like I'm just waiting to die and not much else.

5 Name: Anonymous : 2007-02-21 23:43 ID:qoX7DLqa

Why do people refer to themselves as Hikkikomori/Shut-in, then in the same breath mention doing things that require leaving the house? Asocial != Hikkikomori

6 Name: Anonymous : 2007-02-22 02:53 ID:88kczrBi

well even hikkis have to leave the house SOMETIMES. It's just a semantics thing, it'd be silly to argue over exactly how much you can leave the house and still be a hikki, the bottom line is that it's a problem.

Also, more congratulations on getting your permit =)

I wouldn't let math worry you about going to college. Even if you have to take a math class to get a history degree, you probably wouldn't need more than one, so you would only have to worry about it for one semester. There are low-level math classes offered at most schools, and if the school is worth anything you can find someone in the administration to help you plan your courses. If you think about it, the math barrier might just be an excuse you are feeding yourself so that you can reject going to college as an option. Disregard it.

If you are interested in history and humanities, then that means you must have some sort of interest in real human beings. School is fantastic for learning things about human beings. You don't have to be social at all to observe and learn from other people. When you take lectures you get to just listen to a person talk for hours and take in information in a way unlike any other. I learned a lot in my lectures and I don't think I even had to speak a word. It's great!

Saying that computers, books, movies, etc give you little reason to venture into the world is like saying "why eat anything else when I could just eat mcdonalds?" Computers, books and movies are great, but when you go outside and experience other things in the world you have more variety in your life. It may so happen that there is nothing out in the world that you enjoy more than sitting at home and reading, but if you trek around some, when you finally get home and open your book, you will enjoy yourself more at that moment than if you've just been reading all day up to that point.

7 Name: Anonymous : 2007-02-22 15:59 ID:Heaven

>>5
Yeah, that irks me :/

8 Name: Anonymous : 2007-02-25 01:26 ID:X0MAVaU/

>>6

Yeah, lectures are great.

It's funny how Hikkis like lectures.

>>5
Most Hikkis will leave their rooms occasionally, often at night, to purchase supplies and taste oxygen from the outside world. They may even find themselves talking to someone, although usually not on purpose.

9 Name: Anonymous : 2007-02-26 06:11 ID:ERCa/jkj

Thanks for the encouragement, I need to improve my driving since i'm in a rural area with no public transportation and the nearest college is about 20 miles away. From looking at some more basic math principles that i have read online I feel capable of learning more given sufficient time.

I need to summon the will to call the local college admissions dept. and make an appointment to discuss my options, My driving is not yet up to the level of taking on much town traffic so my father would need to drive me.

10 Name: Anonymous : 2007-02-26 12:49 ID:a1N/PpVc

Congratulations!

I too, am a recovering hikky. I'm slowly regaining my social skills and whatnot, but I am feeling confident with myself now.

there is hope.

11 Name: Anonymous : 2007-02-26 19:38 ID:ERCa/jkj

Well, I just called admissions at the college and setup an appointment. It will be very interesting to see how this plays out, since at this point I want to have no regrets in life and not wonder in the future at any opportunities I may have missed out on.

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