Sexually molested by older brother. Should I tell to my family? (176)

79 Name: riseabove : 2010-09-26 22:11 ID:MXoJb2xi

Sexual abuse CHANGES your brain chemistry.
Sexual pleasure burns "pleasure" pathways (despite the fact that it was forced, no matter the age)when one feels aroused. Those pathways determine what gives you sexual pleasure from that moment on. You cannot change the fact that shame, humiliation and/or domination now feels good (this is biology, NOT judgement). Sexual "deviance" is not a choice; it is an extension of abuse.
I don't know what to say to the author or to the mother of the five year old above. I can only say that divulging my "secret" at the age of 25 was not really a choice. If I had said something at 12 or 15 or 18 or 21 maybe things would have been different. So, to the mother, I can only say that you did something right. Your daughter felt safe enough to tell you and you protected her. I think your daughter will be okay, and that your actions may have prevented her a lifetime of suffering. To the author: Letting something like this fester within you can cause you much more distress than you already have experienced. SAY SOMETHING. You cannot move on or mature emotionally (or socially) until you acknowledge that you experienced something very terrifying, strange and something that made you different. Feeling alone and different leads to isolating behavior. Spending too much time alone, just thinking and suffering, all the while wishing to be normal, is not a life. It is an existence. Disfunction leads to sibling abuse. Your parents are not innocent, do not protect them. This is your life, and you are responsible for it. You are responsible for making yourself healthy and emotionally sound and stable.Even if that means risking everything.

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