Friend Problem (a lot to read...) (13)

1 Name: メロンパン : 2007-07-27 18:28 ID:aKwmqDx5

So basically I've been friends with this guy for a little over four years. He's always been a little annoying since he talks all the time but I can normally deal with it. Recently my whole group of friends had problems and split up into little separate groups. My best friends basically hate him now. He's been pissing me off a little bit lately, too. He always acts depressed and sad because everyone isn't friends with him anymore and he thinks he's done nothing wrong. He thinks he's not the problem and that everyone is just being bitchy. The way he talks is basically asking for pity and he constantly says, "No I'm not asking for pity" when it's obvious he is.
One thing I can't stand is that he talks crap about my friends even though he knows I'm still friends with them. And it's not like I even bring them up. Sometimes we'll be IMing and all of a sudden he says, "_____ is a bitch!" He tells EVERYONE that _____ is a bitch and of course it got back to her one day. And the dude wonders why everyone hates him. Well, maybe they wouldn't hate him if he didn't randomly call people bitches.
He really annoys me sometimes but I don't know what to do. He tells me that I'm his best friend and that he trusts me completely. He thinks I will never betray him and that I am his only true friend. But with what he does I really want to stop being friends with him sometimes. But sometimes I can handle his annoyances and let it slide. What should I do? Keep being friends with him or tell him our friendship is over? And if it's over, how do I tell him??

2 Name: Verg : 2007-07-27 20:36 ID:yjohFxS9

My take on it is this: he's a bit of a dickhead. Your friends split because they don't want to hang out with him. More importantly, however, you find yourself constantly annoyed by this guy. My advice is to tell him to go fuck himself. His attitude is a pretty big sign that he's too inconsiderate and self-centered to show respect for your friends, if only out of respect for their friendly connection to you.

I found myself in the same position up until about a month ago when a girl I'd known (and was attracted to) since we were little kids finally just got on my nerves to the point where I've flatout stopped interacting with her. I don't even care to tell her why. Basically, she constantly talked crap to me about other people. No one else I knew liked her.

Anyway, my advice is to toss this fish back into the sea. Out of curiosity, are you from Japan? Kind of a dumb question since your name has Japanese characters in it, but the Internet is the worst place to assume you know something.

3 Name: Anonymous : 2007-07-27 21:06 ID:Heaven

Mmm, Melonpan... looks tasty.

Sounds kind of like people I know/knew.
I've been in a similar situation many, many years ago, and trying to budget yourself between two (sets of) friends who hate each other is a disaster waiting to happen. Ultimately, you could be viewed as disloyal and lose one, multiple, or even all your friends over this. Give him an ultimatum, that he has to change his ways or you'll cut off contact with him.

4 Name: メロンパン : 2007-07-27 22:38 ID:aKwmqDx5

Thanks for your suggestions. But one thing I don't want happening is for him to start talking crap about me if I stop being friends with him. I know it's not worth my time to get pissed off if he talks crap about me since it most likely won't be true, but you still gotta get mad if someone is saying stuff about you...

>>2
Actually I'm Chinese but I know enough Japanese to let me survive there for a little while. I just really like to eat melonpan...

5 Name: Verg : 2007-07-28 00:04 ID:yjohFxS9

>>4

If he starts talking crap, who's going to care? If what you said is true, nobody with half a brain is going to listen to the words that come out of his mouth. You'd probably be suffering more to deal with his bad attitude than if he's talking crap to everyone when they don't actually like him in the first place.

Fitting into everyone's good graces won't happen for you, so you should either choose whether or not you really like him enough to deal with his fits of reprehensibly stupid behavior.

Once again on a sidenote, I can't read Japanese characters and I have no idea what a melonpan is. Elaboration would be greatly appreciated.

6 Name: メロンパン : 2007-07-28 00:55 ID:aKwmqDx5

Thanks, you're right. I will take your words into consideration.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melonpan
XD

7 Name: Verg : 2007-07-28 01:37 ID:yjohFxS9

>>6

You should also give him a good kick in the nuts.

And... that is some of the weirdest shit I've ever heard of. A roll made of COOKIE DOUGH that is wrapped around a MELON? And a cantaloupe, of all things. A little out of left field, much?

Then again, Asians do shit that's a whole lot weirder. Like this.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wakamezake

And this.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nyotaimori

Not that I'd mind doing either, but that's only because I'm what the average American would call a sexual deviant.

8 Name: Anonymous : 2007-07-28 04:18 ID:XnvcIbR4

>>4
Grow a backbone girly. People take advantage of people like you. It doesn't matter if he says shit about you because his credibility's gone down the drain.

I attract people like your friend because I appear to be "nice" and "generous". Basically, short of being a total pushover. I'm so used to people trying to exploit and take advantage of me. But because of my nature, I'm quite often in the position of seeing people for who they really are. They don't realise until it's too late, that I'm really not the bubbly, sometimes clumsy, pushover person. They get surprised by my bluntness, but also intimidated. Don't get me wrong, I like helping people. But I won't let anyone manipulate me in the process.

Being kind to people nowadays is hard.

9 Name: メロンパン : 2007-07-28 06:26 ID:aKwmqDx5

>>8
Actually, it's more like I take advantage of him. I mean, I don't do it on purpose but he always buys me things even though I don't need it. He used to buy all my friends things for no reason... I guess that's just a way he wants to gain popularity?

10 Name: Anonymous : 2007-07-28 13:02 ID:XnvcIbR4

>>9
It's called buying your friends.

11 Name: 43 : 2007-07-28 23:23 ID:8xT9pnht

If you really care about him then let him know the things you don't like about him. If he really thinks of you as a friend he'll understand and stop being like that.

If you don't care about him then let him know why you don't want his company any more and say bye.

Hopefully he wont call you a bitch.

12 Name: メロンパン : 2007-07-28 23:50 ID:aKwmqDx5

>>11
Thanks, your reply makes a lot of sense to me.

13 Name: SAGE : 2007-07-29 18:15 ID:Heaven

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