For someone who pretty much stays home all day. I get out and I'm not scared of my appearance, it's just that I don't really have anywhere to go and I'm also not afraid of talking it's just that I don't really have anything or smart answers when I talk. Please hlep
In my experience, people worth listening to are the best listeners. Learn to listen well and practice social skills often.
School? Work? Usually having these networks and an online network of friends to work with boosts confidence. Get out, experience new things, talk to people you encounter.
How do you practice social skills by yourself?
Where would I go to get out though?
What are your hobbies? Get involved in activities based around what you enjoy doing. You'll meet people who are interested in the same kinds of things as you. That way you'll have interesting things to add to the conversation because you are generally interested.
If you don't have the option of school or work try taking classes at your town's cultural art or adult education center like the guy in >>4 says just get involved in something.
I had this same sort of problem but after joining a local Animé Club I've found myself getting out of the house more than I ever have before. I'm still not outgoing around them yet (even after 6 months of being in club now) but I am finding myself invited to a lot of parties and events thaht I would never of been invited to before.
Not only that but I have also joined a Bushido Academy that lets me build up confidence while strengthing my mind and body. I've been doing this for 7 months now and I have seen a lot of improvement in both mentioned attributes.
Also lately I've started to initiate conversation with people such as store clerks.
I'm also coming close to asking a girl out for the first time!
Doing all of this about two years ago would of seemed impossible to me. I attended a college where I spent my entire year there in almost complete silence. I think I had a total of 5 to 10 times where somebody talked to me all year. I was too shy to even pay for my own goods in stores or buy my own bus ticket. All of which seem totally pathetic to me now but back then seemed like a monumental challenge. My only group of friends were online and in other countries so I couldn't meet up with them even if I wanted to.
I had this same sort of problem but after joining a local Animé Club I've found myself getting out of the house more than I ever have before. I'm still not outgoing around them yet (even after 6 months of being in club now) but I am finding myself invited to a lot of parties and events thaht I would never of been invited to before.
Not only that but I have also joined a Bushido Academy that lets me build up confidence while strengthing my mind and body. I've been doing this for 7 months now and I have seen a lot of improvement in both mentioned attributes.
Also lately I've started to initiate conversation with people such as store clerks.
I'm also coming close to asking a girl out for the first time!
Doing all of this about two years ago would of seemed impossible to me. I attended a college where I spent my entire year there in almost complete silence. I think I had a total of 5 to 10 times where somebody talked to me all year. I was too shy to even pay for my own goods in stores or buy my own bus ticket. All of which seem totally pathetic to me now but back then seemed like a monumental challenge. My only group of friends were online and in other countries so I couldn't meet up with them even if I wanted to.
Get drunk. Every time you get drunk it deduct 1 from INT but increases CHR by 5.
>>7
Nice one, it sounds like you've really improved yourself.
>>1
I would recommend you go to places that are quieter than say nightclubs or pubs, I tend to find it difficult to speak in places like pubs where there are loads of different things going on, which is strange because normally I'm a pretty outgoing person.
If you like football, go to football stadiums, it's easy to strike convos with people at half time 'did you see him miss that goal? Waste of money!!!' etc. Otherwise join clubs like anime in your local area, and just generally if your sitting at a bus stop with someone who is just looking down or away, why not strike up conversations. Some people are defensive and hate talking at bus stops, but some people enjoy conversing while waiting for a bus. There are loads of oppurtunities to get more social.
>>7
>>9
Not the OP here, although from what he wrote, he could pretty well be me.
You've both suggested anime clubs, which is one of the few major interests I have, the only problem is that most of the people I've ever met who were really into anime have been irritating to the point that it made me want to beat their heads in with a crowbar.
I have been getting a lot better since joining a charity club (LEO Club in my case) - so anime clubs aren't really the only choice. If you're religious it could be a prayer club, if you're atheist it could be atheist gatherings and discussions, there's probably a photography club nearby where you live. Got a hobby? Find a club for it.
>atheist gatherings and discussions
I actually did do that previously, and made some nice friends, but I ended up moving away.
You kiss ass
I have this problem. The big thing is though, is that I'm really outgoing, like a lot of different things, and go out alot, but I live in the middle of nowhere. It's irritating not having anything to do except for going to Wal Mart. I'm gonna move :/
Oh, also, in before drinking, I've had my share of liquid courage, thanks.