I'm a junior in High School; I want to get into a good college but I'm failing every class because I'm missing Hikkikomori levels of school due to illness, not to mention that I'm kind of lazy; If I fail any I won't graduate on time; This lack of time in school also makes for few friends; I had Neuro-Psychological testing that suggested Aspergers, which I wanted to follow up on, but of course that never happend (-_-); When they tried giving me Anti-Depresents, they caused more depresion and anorgasmia; When they tried giving me Anti-Psychotic they caused depresion and anorgasmia; When I take my abusable drugs as recomended or not at all my parents and shrink say I seem "doped up;" When I actually do abuse drugs, they say I'm "back to my normal self;" Doing drugs is also the only way that I can not completely despise school; And now my shrink thinks I'm Pschizophrenic.
The one thing I have going for me is that I'm incredably intelligent (please don't let any spelling errors fool you.) I'm taking more AP classes than not. But, for example, my AP English teacher and I have competely different styles and tastes in writing, not to mention that I apperently misunderstood the course description, because it consists of composing the most formulaic drek possible.
Please help.
Yikes sounds like you're getting a lot of shit from your shrink.
Have you considered changing doctors, assuming a doctor is what you need?
I'm rather suspicious of the psychiatric establishment. I think it's more expensive than it is useful, but I guess it's different for everyone. In a better world it would be a government-provided service.
Don't worry though! You're only a junior in your first semester (I'm guessing) You'll have plenty of time to make up for lost time.
As for abusable drugs, I've never tried them so I have no experience in regards to the best way to function with/without them, or how long one can expect withrdrawal symptoms when you stop taking them. It's probably the kind of thing where you don't want to be switching them on-and-off all the time. Since they're fucking expensive, I recommend keeping them off, but that's easier said than done with the withdrawal symptoms you seem to be describing, and I guess the addiction factor.
But yeah, in conclusion, I would be suspicious of any shrink who thinks you're Schizophrenic.
I'm in the same situation as you, slightly different but it's pretty much the same. Seeing as I'm in the same situation telling you what to do would be kind of hypocritical.
So I'll just sit back and wait for someone to post so I can also feed off the help and now if you don't mind I'll share my story.
I'm also in High School, I'm also failing class due to absence but I consider myself (as do others) to be intelligent so getting a good grade is easy but I can't bring myself to go back to school. If I don't go back I'll most likely fail and have to repeat the entire year.
But having said that doesn't mean I'm entirely useless, what exactly is it you need help with? If possible I'd like to solve my situation as well (without creating another thread that's pretty much the same).
I get all my drugs legally and almost free compared to what they would be without the awesome health insurance I'm lucky to have, and none of them are really addictive or have withdrawl symptoms. I agree with your skepticism of psychiatric drugs, and my shrink and I both agree that those anti-depresents/psychotics weren't working and I'm off them now, but she'll probablly try them again if she gets convinced I'm Schizophrenic. Listening to the syptoms that she read off to me, some of them certainly seem to fit, but I still think Aspergers is more likely. As far as "abusing" drugs I have no moral or practical problem with it. As I said above I'm well in control of my use of them, and am carefull to avoid any possible health problems. But I do think that I shouldn't need use them as much as I do just to get through life
>>what exactly is it you need help with?
I was sort of vague there. I want to get through High School and into a good college (probably majoring in Comp. Sci., and maybe something else. I'd really love to be a game designer, although I know theres plenty of competition for that posistion. But those matters can wait.) And it would also be nice if I could be happy during school without resorting to drugs.
try being home tutored. get a note from your psych and they'll send teachers to your house. only way i graduated middle and high school. good luck with the drug problem too.
Already tried that last year. Did not work.
Also, since I last posted, I've ended up getting withdrawn from all my classes this semester, i.e., no school untill mid January.
I wonder if the French Foreign Legion would accept me. I hear they've become mush more strict in there entrance requirements since the good old days. I'm guessing my medical history would exclude me from them or any other formal army.
> not to mention that I'm kind of lazy
Having a preset schedule and rigidly sticking to it helps. Use an alarm clock or some scheduling software with alerts. The first step is always the hardest.
Also, starting things early removes pressure. If you're lazy, pressure is bad, because the 'omg i cant take this' is another excuse to avoid doing something.
> If I fail any I won't graduate on time
Why graduate on time? I spent two years in grade 12 for the fun of it (literally).
What matters are the grades you have. Failing will be a problem.
Try to get enrolled in a cyberschool until you're able to function in a normal high school. Certain cyberschools go through the local public school, so you can switch from cyber to public without any trouble. Also, I really recommend staying off all drugs - prescription or otherwise. The side effects of drugs really aren't worth the risk, and there's a lot of alternative things you could be doing to help with your problems, such as meditation.
>Having a preset schedule and rigidly sticking to it helps.
Maybe, but I am really not that kind of person.
>Why graduate on time?
Because I hate High School, and do not want to have to stay there longer. I would like to spend as much of my waning youth in a more interesting place, such as the upper eschelons of academia, a fufilling job, or whatever else I may want to do.
Cyberschool? If you mean things like online college level courses, my facist school district has already said no to nearly all channels that they don't somehow have their fingers in.
I do meditate. I'm keeping my drugs.
My youth sucked and it's over now. I really hope it wasn't the best time of my life. There's a good chance you'll feel like me in a few years.
I go to a uni and my interests in life are getting laid for even once, dropping acid for even once, having about two children of my own and dying painlessly. Somebody else is going to have to tick the last item on that to-do list for me. Pathetic as it may be, I finally know what I want from life. Didn't include love, a game of give-and-take, on the list 'cause I have loved somebody and you know how it goes even if no-one admits it: "If at first you don't succeed, you fail".
God damn it, I love talking about myself.
My youth sort of sucked too, but when I look back at it, all I see is a huge pile of missed opportunity. I was a child prodigy, which means I was practically guaranteed to turn out as a social retard right from the start. My past self still seems too serious despite never studying. I missed signs that girls liked me which I should have made a move on. I even alienated some of them, not intentionally but due to my inability to deal with them properly. I chose to move interstate for university instead of staying with a dream girl who understood why I was like I was, even though the local university more or less ran the same course.
If I had a time machine and paradoxes didn't cause negative impacts, I would go back and tell my former self how big an idiot he was during this period of golden opportunity, and teach him about the world and how things work. With a little of the right information early on (which nobody taught me otherwise) things could have been much different.
I'm too young for a mid-life crisis and too old for a quarter-life crisis. I'm divorced, and there is a stigma attached to that, people always assume you're the one who caused it to fall apart. And worst of all, you start to believe it yourself. As I approach 30 I start to feel really old, and that it isn't worth attempting to get back on track again. So instead of making moves on things which might make my life better, I end up dodging them and only causing more pain.
The solution to everything is to change, but change is hard, or more accurately change is easier if you do it earlier. Now I feel like the momentum is too much, and without some kind of amazing rocket I'm going to find it hard to turn around. The girl I've met is a pretty amazing rocket though, I just have to figure out how to launch it.
Just smoke some weed, it'll chill you.