Well. It's been on my chest!
I'm on the brink of being an adult- I mean, in a sense where I have to live on my own blah blah. My entire family has an anxiety disorder where it basically cripples us from doing anything in company we don't know, so work is usually out of the question (I mean, if I were put with co-workers, I'd puke and faint and just not be able to function). That has also stopped my sister and I from going to school, so we're all home schooled and internet based studied. Recently we've been 'recruited' for a program in Toronto to learn how to cope with the issues that come with being anxious.
Anyways, that was background. What my real problem is: My family's on welfare right now. We get about $1250 a month, which seems like a decent amount of money (I mean, we're not working), yet it doesn't really pan out to what we actually recieve.
$1250
-750 rent
-150 groceries (which lasts until about the middle of the month)
-80 phone
So, we're left with 270 to save and do with as we please to benefit the family, right? If this were true, we'd have saved up enough money to actually do something with ourselves. But, my mom usually spends 270+ on cigarettes for herself. Now, that's not what many people would call good parenting. She also borrows money from my aunts and uncles for 'groceries' and spends it on cigarettes, so usually the spending racks up to about 350 a month.
So, on top of this even. She refuses to get a 3 bedroom apartment, so I have to sleep on the couch in the living room. I mean, if I could be selfish about anything, it'd be that I don't have a bedroom. She could be getting a three bedroom (as the rent is about $100 more than what we're spending now) but we don't have enough money. It's really sad to see her try to make up excuses because she knows that it's just her fault. When we call her out on this shit, she cries. She threatens to kill herself and goes all psycho pretending she's 6 and calling for her dead mom and dad and shit- which is a great time to be alive. I assure you.
Here I am sitting in the middle of all of this trying to make a good example for my sister to have, because my sister is fucked beyond all exsistance out of a family life.
Should I make the leap and try to move my sister and I out? I could personally get welfare and not use it like a crack head, and get my own apartment and all that- or I could sit around here listening to this shit, but not have to deal with the government or anything on my own. It's really a question of do I want to work, or don't I? What would you do.
It depends if she's a little sister or older sister. If she's a younger sister, it's up to you to help. If she's older than you, she's an adult who has to deal with her own problems. Either way, get the fuck out of there.
YOU SHOULD FUCK THAT FINE PUSSY YOUR SISTER HAS.
I'm sorry to hear about your dilemma and it really sucks that the welfare money is being wasted on cigerettes. How easily is it to find a job at your location and if you have the means to move out on your own, I say do it. There is no reason for you or your sister to suffer if there a way out of it.
I wish you luck and report back to us on your situation, so we will know that you are alright.
Grab your sis and MOVE THE FUCK AWAY and don't visit your old place for at least 3 or 4 months. Also, get a halftime job — even $400 will help a lot.
Why not try being the "man of the house"? When the welfare money comes, take it and manage it on your own. Don't let a single cent of it go towards cigarettes. When your mother has a tantrum, let her have them. Completely ignore her. She's not going to kill herself with her children in the home, no matter how much she threatens. This way, you have the extra money to go towards getting on medication, going to therapy, or whatever needs to be done to help you and your sister overcome the anxiety problems.
It really would be best to move away from that house as soon as you feel recovered enough from your anxiety to do so. If you can get on welfare on your own and move out with your sister, DO IT. Talk to your aunts and uncles, and try to make them understand what's going on. Surely they'll help you, won't they? I'm sure they'd atleast find you a place and help you move into it.
How old is she? A teen or a young child? If she's a young child it's especially important.
walk through big crowds. if you're not occupied full-time, then just hang out outside and try to be near other people
you're in a difficult position and i respect that you want to do something about it
AND THEN PUT IT IN HER VAGOO!
Hey man , I also live in Toronto. This is a place where people who barely speak English, are confused and frustrated are able to handle themselves and build another life from scratch, there is no reason why you can't also do that. Get a job somewhere and move out. But do your research, Find the best place and the best job you can have. Make your own life easier by knowing as much as you can. Now that you are an adult, watch what you sign under and make sure it is for the best. Be very careful, but not afraid.
Start small, No TV or Highspeed cable with IKEA furniture.
Save up as much as you can, have patients, and you will be able to move on to better luxuries.
If your sister is still of an age where she can go to highschool (under 21, yes, I was in highschool until 20, and now I got into UofT), then let her go to one, Its almost free! There are some really good highschools in this area I can introduce you to, with understanding teachers and students . I'm sure she will fit in, I mean..., me, a socially inept looser weeaboo gamer guy who went to a extremist fundamentalist all boys school and didn't speak a word of English where able to fit in while my father was struggling with bipolar disorder and my brother going down an abyss of deep depression because of how unsuccessful he was.
Anything you want to ask, contact me at the E-mail in the link
I agree with >>7. I don't think you should move out until you are fully independent. Aim to get that social anxiety thing under control first. Meanwhile I guess you could try doing lonely jobs at night, or find some clerical work at home stuff to save up for when you move out.
You're turning 18 soon right? Is there anyway to transfer your share of the welfare money to you?
You know there are jobs that don't require direct interaction with other people, right? Have you even bothered to look for them, and by that I mean for more than a 5 minute search through monster.com?
Also, move out w/ sis.