Not paying attention (19)

1 Name: Anonymous : 2007-11-23 06:42 ID:38g+E2gz

This really fucking pisses me off, sometimes I'll be talking to my mother and it could be a cat passing by or two people having a conversation, but she'll start paying attention to that instead of hearing what I had to say.

Like I'll be talking about something and a person walks by and starts talking to this other people, about something that wouldn't matter to her, but for some reason she completely cuts off from what I'm talking about and focuses on what ever else.

I don't want to feel this way, but her doing this really makes me fucking hate her.

2 Name: Anonymous : 2007-11-23 07:46 ID:nS2NQxN4

Stop treating your mother like she's a friend. She's there to raise you, not listen to your lame stories.

3 Name: Anonymous : 2007-11-23 08:52 ID:38g+E2gz

>>2

It's not stories, basically anything I tell her.

4 Name: Anonymous : 2007-11-23 09:17 ID:4djzJGJk

1 - does she do that with everyone, or just you?

2 - are you not the kind to speak to people without caring if the subject is of interest to them? Do you actually listen and react to what people tell you,... or you just go on with your monologue while ignoring their remarks?

3 - have you spoken about it with her?

5 Name: Anonymous : 2007-11-23 12:44 ID:38g+E2gz

>>4

1 - I'm never around when shes talking to somebody else
2 - I fucking know that she loves hearing me discuss the different bit rates between Red book and DVD-A.
3 - Yes I have, she won't "listen".

6 Name: Anonymous : 2007-11-23 12:50 ID:4djzJGJk

>> I fucking know that she loves hearing me discuss the different bit rates between Red book and DVD-A.

Seems to me you'll have more luck if you speak about stuff that is of interest to her,...

7 Name: Anonymous : 2007-11-23 20:33 ID:Heaven

> DVDA

Why would you ever discuss this with your mother?
...and is that even possible?
I mean, I can see how they can fit but where does everybody stand?

8 Name: Anonymous : 2007-11-26 03:04 ID:UZ5SQi/+

wtf do you want to talk to your mother for? make some friends.

9 Name: Anonymous : 2007-11-26 03:46 ID:K20nWi2Q

Yell at her the instant she stops paying attention to you when you are talking to her. Bang your fist on a table or something. "What the BANG FUCK I AM TALKING TO YOU!" Then shut up, don't continue speaking to her. Be pissed off and angry and show it to her. If you have never done it before, she will look amazed or frightened. Stand up, walk close to her, stare into her eyes for a second or two. If you look pissed enough, she may think that you are going to use violence on her. Do this without any kind of violent gesture or direct threat. Get out, walk away, if you're old enough, drive away for a while. Go do something fun.

10 Name: Anonymous : 2007-11-26 06:17 ID:yK/kxyO9

Could she possibly have ADD or something similar? While a lot of people claim to have it even though they don't(making the symptoms rather vague), it's possible she actually has it, and it's the reason why she never really pays attention to you.

My own parents tend to forget things mid-sentence and start talking to other people when I'm speaking to them, even when it's important, but this became more frequent after some close relatives of theirs had passed away. The stress from their deaths as well as simply growing older might contribute to things like short-term memory loss, so please keep that in mind about your own mother.

11 Name: Anonymous : 2007-11-26 06:34 ID:38g+E2gz

>>10

You could be right.

This one time we were at a bookstore buying coffee, I started to ask her something while she was standing writing down something, I asked her three times and she didn't answer, the cashier looked at me with the kind of face saying "Why isn't she answering you?".

Then I'll tell her something and a seconds later she'll ask me what I want when I already told her the answer.

Her only excuse is that she was busy and couldn't answer me, which is fucking bullshit because she could have at least said something like "Shh, I'm busy at the moment" instead if literally ignoring me.

12 Name: Anonymous : 2007-11-26 07:08 ID:nS2NQxN4

I agree with >>8. You need to go make some friends. Your mother is not your buddy.

13 Name: Anonymous : 2007-11-26 07:50 ID:38g+E2gz

>>12

I have friends.
This is a serious problem when somebody, mother or friend acts like this.
I used to hang out with this one guy who would completely brush off anything I said, sometimes I would be in a conversation about something and he would interrupt me to start talking about something totally different, when I told him about it he acted like what I was saying wasn't important at all.

14 Name: Anonymous : 2007-11-26 09:20 ID:yK/kxyO9

>>11

>>10 here. If she's making excuses even though other people have noticed it, there's a very strong possibility she has an actual disorder. At this point, you should take her to a psychiatrist or doctor; be careful, though. Sometimes medication is prescribed when therapy will do. If anything has had her stressed out since you began noticing her inability to pay attention, consider therapy for her. If this has been going on for longer than you can remember, medication might be the better route.

Also make sure that you take her there, instead of relying on her to go by herself. If she has trouble paying attention, I would worry for her safety going on her own. Try not to get too angry with her; she doesn't seem to realize her own ailment, and would probably deny it if you told her yourself; it's better if she hears it from a professional, because then she'll be more likely to admit to it.

It's also possible she knows about her ailment, but isn't saying anything or getting it checked out so you aren't worried about her. Parents are like that.

15 Name: Anonymous : 2007-11-27 00:26 ID:0AYL2rhZ

>>12
Wait, why can't your mother be your buddy? They're just another person.

16 Name: Anonymous : 2007-11-27 10:28 ID:YnXnQ8wy

>>1
Get over it. My mum, and I'm sure countless other mums are like that. It's damn annoying when your friend does it, because it's rude, distracting and off-putting etc, but make an exception for your mum. I have to repeat things several times for my mum, and it's heaps frustrating, but I don't "fucking hate her for it". There a lot more serious crimes that deserve hate.

17 Name: Anonymous : 2007-11-27 12:00 ID:38g+E2gz

>>16

I don't have a "mum" I have whats called a mother, also known as mom.

18 Name: Anonymous : 2007-11-27 18:22 ID:voR8lIfy

>>15

Your mother is there to be the caregiver and the disciplinarian, not your friend. When parents are your friends, it creates problems in the relationship with dominant roles etc. You can be very loving and open with your parents, but I certainly wouldn't call them my friends.

>>17 I have a mum, not a mom. We spell it like we say it, just like you.

19 Name: Anonymous : 2007-11-28 12:17 ID:YnXnQ8wy

>>17
Get over it. My mum, and I'm sure countless other mums are like that. It's damn annoying when your friend does it, because it's rude, distracting and off-putting etc, but make an exception for your mum. I have to repeat things several times for my mum, and it's heaps frustrating, but I don't "fucking hate her for it". There a lot more serious crimes that deserve hate.

Don't make me repeat myself again.

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