I am 22 and live at home still. I don't have any friends. I haven't been outside my house more than once a year for the last seven years. My hair is so long it reaches my ass. Everything I have to do I order from the internet. (Money is not a issue.) I'm getting tired of spending my days on the internet or playing games/watching anime, etc. Nothing on the outside interests me. I'm leaning over to suicide.
What the hell should I do?
Why don't you just get up early, then? Even if your schedule is messed up this is a good chance to get out of the house and be around people you are really comfortable around. Tell them you've changed your mind, I'm sure they'd be thrilled, and then ask them to make sure you get up.
Even if you're really tired it'll be a good start to fixing your problem.
>>36 Peace of mind? How can you have peace of mind when you're dead? You won't have anything. And you think it's selfish for people to expect you to live? Dude...killing yourself is about the most selfish thing you can do! You're basically saying, "I don't care about what other people think, or how it will effect them; I'm just doing this for myself. Look, if you have enough money saved up to go to Japan, then do it. If nothing else it will be a breath of fresh air, and a change of scenery, (which it sounds like you desperately need.)
Once again man, just don't give up. You need to give life a chance. You have no idea what it has in store for you. Try it out. If you don't like it after oh...60 or so years, then fine...then kill yourself. Just don't give up. Please.
>>38 60 years is too much, try 5-10 or something. If nothing has changed by then, try Asm.methods newsgroup; there are some cocktails which are kinda easy to make (order ingredients of the internet) or Nembutal if you can snatch if from mexico..that's like sip..wait...and you die peacefully.
Sorry, but suicide is indeed selfish, everything in life is selfish. You can't blame him, for taking his own life..he never asked to be born. His life, he can do whatever he wants..staying for others will ultimately do nothing. I'm taking the bus too if nothing changes in like 2 years (and i'm already searching for the ingredients), and you are wrong about dead. Not being aware of anything is TRUE everlasting peace, that's the whole point.
I'm out, peace
>>1
go outside, get drugs.
drugs are fun for a while.
>>37
Well, that didn't happen.
>>38
You should read >>39.
Besides, I don't ever wanna get old. I don't want to lose to the world like that, I'd rather die young.
>>40
Like I said before; No.
I'm still thinking of things I could try do, but nothing has really come up. My dream is a impossible one, I've always wanted to travel in space, visit other planets, etc. Just being a astronaut on the moon or a space station would not be enough for me. In other words, I long for the future. Nobody knows what happens after death, but one of the possibilities could be being reborn, although not likely, it's still a chance to travel in space one day. Silly of me to think about this, isn't it? But it can't be helped. If you aren't reborn and just cease to exist, that's fine too, although it does annoy me that the universe could be that way. Anyway, I'm getting tired of the way things are, so I will have to do something soon.
Hehe, almost like myself.
I have spent 2 years after highschool at home, just went outside a few times, if it was extremly necessary.
But i have finally come to a conclusion.
I will be consequent and won't lie to myself anymore.
To achieve my dreams, you need extra-ordinary intelligence.
I don't have it.....
Well, i will still try and start to study at an university.
I use all my potential i have.
If it is not enough, it shouldn't be this life.
Then i will die happily.
And this is what i am gonna do.
Success or Death.
This my philosophy now.
My interests (dreams) would be:
and some other.....well, i am dumb to be honest, so chances are really really slim.
But if i kill myself now, i will be unsatisfied because i haven't tried.
Wish me luck (and intelligence^^) for both.
You guys just seem to consign yourself to fate too much, despite most of you claiming to be atheists. Look, it's not a cruel world, but it is one where everyone has to look out for themselves. If you want to change your ways, then no-one else is going to change them for you. You need to get off your ass and change. You need to stop saying 'I am a hikikomori' or 'I'm a /b/tard LOL I'm stuffing up my life', because at the end of the day although it might be funny on the internet for a while, and it might be easy to have self pity, you guys have to realise that you have only one life, and if you want it to go somewhere you need to make it do so.
I recommend starting off with some form of exercise, just going for walks or even to a gym, physical exercise not only has a huge positive effect mentally but also gives plenty of excuses for social interaction. Good luck!
Youre lucky if you ask me. What i wouldnt give to stay at home and be lazy all day!
I have collage and work and on the weekends i always gotta go out cuz i cant turn down my friends and girlfriend.
My dream is to save up enough money, move to Japan, and try out your lifestyle for a change.
Ah, to live as an hikikomori, some day, some day...
You are a good person. I know this, because it's impossible for a person to be bad for the sake of being bad without a benefit. You are a hikikomori because other people do not understand you. Their form of stimulation is not what you prefer. So it goes.
The solution is integrating yourself within the boundaries of rational thought. I know you have some ideas that you would like to share with the world. Let it be known. Put those ideas in a forum for the world to see (and not just those on the Internet). You have creativity, and I want to see you thrive.
>>43 I personally believe freewill to be the biggest illusion ever. Some just can't act "normal" because of how one grew up + personality disorder = fail. Throw in some chance, and heh...one would get really tired after getting rejected for the x time(not just relationship i mean generally life itself).
And your speech about getting up and fight..yes, easier said then done. The thing is , most of us have already done this. After so many disappointments one would need to be rewarded..just only once, that tiny little hope would be enough, but no. All i can say is, 1 000 000 million people worldwide decide that life is not worth sticking around for, there are so many reasons and it all depends on perspective. Others seek what they never can get , others have everything and feel dead inside, others are victims of circumstance,etc etc...
I want to see the world different, but i can't.Too much has happened. The damage is just done.
Whatever
>>42
You sure seem to be motivated. Good luck with that.
I don't think accomplishing something that way is for me though.
>>43
Why did they ever tell us fairy tales of nice people helping each other? I know I have to do things my self, but it's just not that easy, especially not after so many years. I think "Let's go for a walk" (In my mind I sometimes refer to my self in plural), but it becomes "or I could lay down and watch this movie I wanted to see.". It's really really really hard. By the way, I'm not doing this to be funny.
>>44
At times I've thought of my self as lucky, but in the end, it's more like a mental prison than a relaxing life. I'm sure it would be a little more comfortable to be a hikikomori in the capital of hikikomori's, but anywhere else in the world, not so much.
>>45
That's the most intelligent thing anyone has said so far, however it does not exactly help on the situation I am in. Your "solution" is very vague.
>>46
I too find free will to be rather distant, and I believe much of how you grow up is part of what makes your every day choices. I had quite a difficult childhood.
I've been thinking of buying a digital SLR, but I'm not so sure I would use it. If I did, I might bother going outside, climb a mountain and take some pictures. It just doesn't seem likely that I would though...
It sounds like you might be over-intellectualising it a tad. Just get moving and you can think about it on the way. Yes, of course childhood has huge influence over your formation, but surely you can recognise that what you do still comes down to you. I understand that there are all kinds of mental barriers that might stop you, but really, you need to just jump in and take the first step and hope that it all follows.
Give us an update, OP!
I SAW THE DARK KNIGHT TODAY AND IT REALLY MOTIVATED ME TO GO TO SCHOOL, GET A DEGREE, AND EARN ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY AND SET UP LOTS AND LOTS OF EXPLOSIVES
WELL, SO LONG AND SEE YA IN 10 YEARS SUCKERS
After reading this thread and finding myself in a somewhat similar plight to the OP, I'd like to share something that may sound a little silly.
I want to run away to the mountains and become a mountain man.
You heard me.
Not a hillbilly or a redneck. This may change, but right now, I would like to disappear into the deep Appalachian Mts. with a sack full of tools and another sack full of seeds, build myself a cabin and a vegetable plot, and become totally self-sufficient as far from other people as can be had in the 21st century.
I feel this way and fantasize about this a lot. Probably because I keep wondering why we no longer do things like they used to even though it used to work just fine.
Steam locomotive? Gone. Etiquette? Down the drain. Teenagers useless? Pretty much these days. I know that sounds really random and irrelevant. However, I think that if I were out of the reach of popular culture (which I find all too often insipid and destructive) and the messages I feel as if I'm bombarded with (and I know I don't like what they're saying), I could really change myself.
Also, surviving on my own would mean I'd accomplished something pretty serious. To discover that I'm capable of self-sustenance like that would be a major morale booster.
I dunno.
>>48
I'm pretty sure I can't do that.
>>49
Here you go, nothing is happening, everything is as it's always been for the last seven years. I'm starting to wonder if I'm actually aware that I'm alive. Regardless, the feeling of wanting to just end it all is still there. Didn't think anyone cared anymore for this, seeing as I'm impossible.
>>51
Good luck with that, I wouldn't survive without my technology.
Don't know what to do. I heard about this "New Start" program they have in Japan where a "rental sister" will come and try get you out of there and into a program where they will try help you. I don't think it would really ever be able to change me, but a rental sister sure sounds nice. Like a angel that comes to save you. Anyway, impossible since I don't live in Japan.
>>51
In those times that you claim were better people only lived till like 30 years of age. Enjoy your short life as a lonely mountain man with "etiquette."
> Like a angel that comes to save you.
Spoiler: reality is never as sweet as any fantasy based on Welcome to the NHK.
Read your second sentence out loud again. I think you found the key to it all and never even noticed.
If you really have the feeling that you want to change your lifestyle then you should be the one to take the initiative. You asked us here to give you some advice. But still, in the end, you must be the one to take some action. Also remember to take one step at a time. Changing yourself and your lifestyle is not as simple as ABC but rather a hard work and needs lots of patience. And never ever try thinking of suicide >.< There will always be a speck of hope even if think that it is already gone.
Here are some suggestions of what you may possibly do:
First of all, try talking with your family. They are your family and I am sure that they are willing to help you overcome your hiki-state. If not, then they should not be called family.
If that doesn't work, try finding friends online. Due to the internet, we are actually closer to you than you think. Try talking to them through the microphone if your messenger has the function. Who knows, you might just meet someone and a possible solution from the both of you might come up.
You can also attend anime or manga conventions in your city or country if there's one. It is a good place for people with the same interests to meet and talk about things.
You can also try finding your dream job out there. Finding your motivation can really help change a person. A dream job for someone who likes games/anime/manga could be a game tester, a manga editor, or even a mangaka :D... The world is actually a pretty big place. You just need a powerful imagination and you could become a great person.
Hope that helps... Remember that your feelings and determination to change greatly affects your performance.
>>And never ever try thinking of suicide >.<
Protip: If you're truly suicidal, you don't try to think about suicide. The thoughts come unbidden, whether you want them or not.
maybe you should visit a place youve never been to
they say that when its lonely you just need someone to share the experience with you so its not so boring.
>>54
Right...
>>55
I know that.
>>57
I never said I wanted to change my self. Also, my family is the last people on earth I would speak to. They too are rather silent on my mothers part of the family, and my fathers part of the family is just plain weird. Also, I'd never ever talk to someone over the microphone. I mentioned this before, my city is a small one, there's no such thing as conventions here.
>>58
That is correct. I would know.
>>59
Japan would be that place, getting out of my room and actually going there is the hard part. Finding someone to share such a experience with is nearly impossible for me.
I'm pretty sure now, there's no way I'll get out of here. I've been thinking about it, and I'm sure the only thing that could possibly help me is a good real life friend. Unfortunately, that's not something I will find in this small town. Goodbye hope.
do you know what means hikkikomori or depression? not all of us has a strong mind
To make it clear to everyone who might not know, I'm OP and you can identify me by my ID.
>>61
>>62
>>63
In this post I'm going to make it clear what makes a hikikomori. However I can't explain what it's like being one, as no amount of words can explain what it feels like. You just have to experience it to understand it. Thank you to those who try understand though. I'll start with a few obvious (and less obvious) points, excuse me if I forget something.
*Rarely leaves room/house, if at all
*Does not cook, work or go to school
*Low personal hygiene
*Have a way too nice mother
*Does not talk much
*Have been badly bullied in school at some point
*Possibly have some neurological or personality disorder
*Prone to depression and in cases bouts of anger
*Social anxiety (Be it little or severe)
*NO FRIENDS
*Non-social activities in room
*Refusing to do anything expected by them
*Would probably not eat if not given food (Unless there's microwave food)
*Long hair after a long period of being a hikikomori (If you don't get your mom to cut it or something)
This should make it quite clear what a hikikomori is. Most importantly, this is not a phenomena local to Japan. Although the Japanese culture is indeed a easier trigger to it, it's not the only one. (Yes, all those points apply to me.)
Now for a small update, I got on the idea that maybe I should try go to school in Japan, so I started looking around for such programs and came over this site: http://www.wle-japan.com
They accept students from all countries, has no requirements other than high school education and being above 18 years old, and has a all in one package fee, making it easy for you to go. The idea excites me, and I do have the money for it, however I'm still scared of going alone. I've never used a washing machine in my life, etc. Having been a hikikomori for well over seven years now and then going into such a program? How on earth would I survive there? Most importantly, would it be worth it, or is it just better to kill my self? We all know, as much as you want to be Japanese, you can never be one.
>*lots of points
Yeah, that's a recluse. We also have a word for it, y'know? Add social recluse if you want emphasis on the social aspect. Using hikkikomori is like saying ohayo instead of hello all the time and stuff like that: mannerisms. But then again, japan japan, blahblah.
>How on earth would I survive there?
I think you'll make it. Probably struggle a lot, but you'll make it. As long as you get the nerve to do the kickstart, you'll be on your way. If this school thing enthusiasms you, then jump on the occasion.
>is it just better to kill my self?
Think of it this way: if you don't survive, then you have found a quite adventurous and interesting way to suicide.
Hi, Mr. Solitude. Man, never heard of a problem like this before, maybe i just don't get out enough. It sounds like you're not especially depressed, you're not anxious, paranoid, and it looks like you are capable of intelligent thought. You're just really bored. And anything anyone suggests you just push off as being as boring as the boredom you're in now. I only hear of two things you would like to do: go to Japan, or kill yourself to get away from the boredom. Nothing else will do, except sitting around being bored. So maybe you should start playing a game: destination Japan. You should first start by gathering up money, not only money to get you and a friend to Japan but enough to get you back home if you have to run back home because Japan was either too exciting or too boring for you. Find someone else to guild you along in the outside world of Japan. Don't just pick someone random, pick someone who is intelligent, reliable, and can be a guide to you.
And if it doesn't work out for one reason or another you can hitch an airplane ride back to your room and continue your solitary existance. Or perhaps not even give it a chance. I do wonder how you argue that everything outside of your room would be just as boring as being in your room since you never go out of your room anyways.
if money isn't an issue go somewhere else. travel. DO SOMETHING!
suicide? you call what your doing <i>living</i>?
If you're not Japanese, then please use first-language appropriate terms for things.
I guarantee you that if you start with this small task, and master it, you will be on the road to being a socially acceptable individual.
GO FOR IT MAN!
clean up,go to japan, have a good time!
Are you really dont have any single friend ?
>>67 That's like saying "You wank quite a lot for a virgin". Pent-up, man, PENT-UP!
>If you're not Japanese, then please use first-language appropriate terms for things.
Mi a megfelelő szó erre anyanyelvemen, kérdem én. Van-e egyáltalán, mert én nem ismerem a'bizti.
>>73
First-language for these boards (with the exception of the Language board) is ENGLISH.
Now don't be a dick.
Well OP sucks to be you since apparently you made this thread just to get sympathy. What's the point in asking for advice and then having a million and one excuses for not being able to follow it? It's insulting to the people who actually take the time to write you long ass replies. Don't waste our time or yours.
If you don't get over yourself you'll never be able to make a difference in your life. It's like a band-aid. If you think too much about it you'll never pull the damn thing off. Instead of just sitting there wondering about what to do why don't you pick up a hobby? learn guitar, teach yourself to knit, write a book.
you watch anime right OP? i recommend watching tengen toppa gurren lagann if you haven't or rewatching it if you have, and taking to heart the whole 'fuck you nothing is impossible for me' philosophy. i swear it to you, for people like you and me, it's things like this that get us fired up and wanting to do something with our lives. i'm living proof.
if you want to call me a weaboo, that's fine. but it worked for me, and i suggest you try it out >=)
OP are you still around? I am exactly like you...I would like to talk and share stories/help. I'm going insane!
>>77
I am not OP, but I guess I have the same problems as you both. So I would really like to hear your story.
I'm going through your checklist:
[ ]Rarely leaves room/house, if at all
[ ]Does not cook, work or go to school
[ ]Low personal hygiene
[x]Have a way too nice mother
[x]Does not talk much
[x]Have been badly bullied in school at some point
[?]Possibly have some neurological or personality disorder [Never spoken about this with anyone]
[x]Prone to depression and in cases bouts of anger [the latter doesn't apply]
[x]Social anxiety (Be it little or severe)
[x]NO FRIENDS
[?]Non-social activities in room [Not sure what you mean by this and the next part. Sorry, I only speak English as my fourth language]
[?]Refusing to do anything expected by them
[ ]Would probably not eat if not given food (Unless there's microwave food)
[ ]Long hair after a long period of being a hikikomori (If you don't get your mom to cut it or something) [Used to have very long hair, but had to cut it when I was in the army (my country has compulsory military service), and kept it short ever since]
Why am I doing this? Even though I'm nowhere as near to being a hikikomori as you are, I believe I can mostly understand how you feel because I was in an almost similar situation for about a year, and also because even though I'm seemingly better off now, there haven't been any incidents to change my general attitude towards life in general. I live with my parents and get suicidal thoughts daily; I'm studying in a university, doing well in my studies and am getting my M.Sc in the near future, but I haven't made a single friend during my time at the university, let alone had any romantic or sexual experiences.
For me, the main thing that got me out of being an almost-hikikomori was a deep interest in the subject I am studying, but as you can see, it has only made me get out of the house frequently, and not helped any other aspects of being a hikikomori. I also would like to visit a foreign country, but in my case I don't have the money, and the field I am studying is very theoretical and academically-oriented, so there's at most a marginal chance that I'm ever going to get a decently-paying job.
As for your problem of living in a small town, I don't really relate to this... I live in the capital of my country, and I don't recall ever meeting anyone with similar interests and hobbies. Well, it is a small country, and the capital would be considered a very small city if it was located in the United States, but still, living around here certainly isn't stopping other people from having a satisfying life. The whole "life is what you make out of it" attitude that always appears in these discussions applies only to people who have been actively developing their social skills since their early teens I believe. For people like me and you who haven't belonged to any social circles for a long time, it's going to take a complete personality change, and possibly professional training to get to know people to the level where you could consider another person a friend.
[continued in next post]
My point is that if you really want to change, it's going to need a lot more than just getting out of your house and getting a job or something like that. I think that you would have a better chance at it if you moved out of your parents' house and changed everything about yourself. Abandon all of your hobbies (preferably don't even get a computer or a gaming console at your new house), change your tastes in music, movies and dressing style to something fashionable, start going to bars and clubs to get drunk (I'm somehow getting the impression that you don't like to drink alcohol; neither do I, but I'm sure you have also realized that not drinking isn't really socially acceptable, especially at your age. It's better to get used to it sooner than later), start hitting on a lot of girls. Since you're not attending any school and don't have a job, it shouldn't be a problem to devote half a year or so to this. Once you've become a more socially acceptable person, you could get into some sort of school, and by now, you should have absolutely no problems getting friends and start living a fullfilling life. It's a lot of work, but it's what everyone else does; other people just go through it at a more natural pace through their teenage years.
I'll do it too.
I'm going through therapy right now because of my hikikomoriness, it's so bad I dropped out of 5th grade and have been hikikomori for the greater part of my life, I'm 18 now.
[/]Rarely leaves room/house, if at all - I go out to get fast food though
[/]Does not cook, work or go to school
[]Low personal hygiene - I get extremely greasy so I have to shower often
[/]Have a way too nice mother - I could rape and kill a child and she would still love me
[]Does not talk much - I used to be like that, until a couple years ago when I tried my hardest to be more social
[]Have been badly bullied in school at some point - School is one of the biggest reasons for me being the way I am, but I wasn't bullied.
[/]Possibly have some neurological or personality disorder
[/]Prone to depression and in cases bouts of anger - I think about killing myself pretty much every day
[/]Social anxiety (Be it little or severe)
[/]NO FRIENDS - the only real friend I have is this guy in Kentucky, I met him on the internet
[/]Non-social activities in room
[/]Refusing to do anything expected by them
[]Would probably not eat if not given food (Unless there's microwave food) - I have to eat often or else I'll get sick
[]Long hair after a long period of being a hikikomori (If you don't get your mom to cut it or something) - My mother is a hair stylist so she cuts my hair for free
[x]Rarely leaves room/house, if at all
[ ]Does not cook, work or go to school
[ ]Low personal hygiene
[x]Have a way too nice mother
[x]Does not talk much
[]Have been badly bullied in school at some point - I was pretty much homeschooled
[x]Possibly have some neurological or personality disorder
[x]Prone to depression and in cases bouts of anger (just depression)
[x]Social anxiety (Be it little or severe) - extreme
[x]NO FRIENDS
[x]Non-social activities in room (guitar, singing, computers)
[x]Refusing to do anything expected by them - pretty much
[x]Would probably not eat if not given food (Unless there's microwave food) I usually get my dad to go shopping with me every few weeks. Otherwise, I just eat what's left around.
[ ]Long hair after a long period of being a hikikomori (If you don't get your mom to cut it or something) - grew it for 4 or so years, then cut it down since it was starting to get messy.
test
[X]Rarely leaves room/house, if at all
[X]Does not cook, work or go to school
[ｭ]Low personal hygiene
[X]Have a way too nice mother
[X]Does not talk much
[ｭ]Have been badly bullied in school at some point - Well no, I usually had a low profile, and if someone did try to bully me, I'd RRAAAGGGEEE their asses.
[o]Possibly have some neurological or personality disorder - I don't know about this one, but it has crossed my mind. hurr
[X]Prone to depression and in cases bouts of anger - RAAGGGEEE
[X]Social anxiety (Be it little or severe) - Got it pretty bad.
[X]NO FRIENDS - Except for 2 I barely see, no friends.
[X]Non-social activities in room - Masturbatan, Internetan, Gaeman
[X]Refusing to do anything expected by them - This shit has sunken so low, they don't even expect me to wipe me own ass. (Don't worry , I still do.)
[X]Would probably not eat if not given food
[X]Long hair after a long period of being a hikikomori ( UP TO MY FUCKING ASS)
OP here. Sorry for not answering, I gave up on getting help. Ever since I've been just buying large quantities of games and playing them, forgetting everything around me. I don't think continuing to post here will do any good, but I'll respond anyway. I'll start with the main reason I'm responding.
>>77
>>78
I'd like to talk to you guys too. So if you're still around, post a messenger I can contact you by.
>>66
You seem to be intelligent enough, how about you drag me to Japan then?
>>67
In text, no problem. In real life, one word replies.
>>70
I'd like to do that. I'm just too far down to do it alone anymore.
>>75
I don't need sympathy, besides how am I supposed to feel anything about what's said here?
>>76
I'll watch it. I know anime fires me up quite a lot, but the effect only lasts for a day for me. Not enough to get me anywhere.
>>79
>>80
I don't believe me capable of so much change, neither am I willing to give up computers, games or anime for it. I don't see a point in living such a fake life. Aside from that I'm not all that interested in being a socially acceptable person. The larger part of the world is stupid. I don't think they have the right to set the standards of what's socially acceptable. I don't want to change. I just want something I like to do.
>>81
>>82
>>84
This is pointless. It's not a survey.
I think throughout this thread I've made my standing on things quite clear. So unless someone has some idea other than what's already been suggested, or want to drag me to Japan, then I suggest we let this thread sink. There doesn't appear to be a solution for me or people exactly like me if any, other than either dying or living a zombie life. Thanks to all those who really did try help me, I'm sorry it didn't work.
If anyone would like to talk to me personally, my proxy AIM screen name is StealthDesu. If you are >>77 or >>78 I will provide other messenger names trough that, or if I like you.
The freezing cold, six-mat, single room—
Oh, this apartment:
Even though I want to leave, my escape is still distant.
I lie on the bed, even while awake, and sleep sixteen hours a day.
Near the shadows of the kotatsu,
A cockroach is hiding.
When I eat, I have one meal a day,
And I lose weight every day.
Sometimes, I head to the convenience store,
The gazes of others frighten me, though.
A cold sweat even springs forth,
Telling me how hard it is to escape my apartment.
N.H.K., which seems like a fantasy—
There is emptiness in searching and not finding it.
Today, when the sun sets, I go weakly forth
To lie down in my damp bed.
My tired and heavy brain—
Oh, I can't go on. I can't go on!