I secluded myself to my room about six months ago and am afraid of going outside and especially communicating with humans. I know that getting help would do little good because I'd tell the doctor nothing and if I did, I'd just lie to him. The only way I can begin to talk about my problems is anonymously over the Internet and they never actually do much and always reduce to 'get help'. It's like I keep having faint hope that'd be some sort of key or something that would allow me to live the simple life that I want (just alone in a small place and not starving), yet I know that won't come.
It's useful to ask for help, but people can't help you against your will,... Going to a doctor and then lying is of course going to prevent him/her of doing a good job.
Besides, help cannot be purely external. At some point you are yourself need to provide some effort to get out of your hole.
I think the best way to start to address your problem would exactly be to start talking with a doctor/therapist, and with your family/friends/people you trust. Also, you should make everything in your power to make your current state impossible to continue (go visit a relative, or something that prevents you from staying too long alone or inactive). You need to resocialize, and start with company you trust is the best.
In any case, do go see a doctor, you are probably suffering from depression, which is a condition that can be addressed by current medicine and professional counseling.
i think you should go to doc, and try to not lie, be over yourself and be honest, see if you develope any new ways of stepping over your shadow and actually going for it. I mean actually getting better! :)
You will not find any release from your problems living in solitude. They will continue to grow worse and worse until they are totally out of your control, unless you make the effort to change.
You don't have to go to a doctor, but you need to work to get out of solitude.
Of course, it won't be fun.
I know that lying might seem easier now but they can't help you if you don't tell the truth. I lied about myself for years. I'm finally getting real help for my depression. Its not easy but if you really want help you need to tell it as it is. If you really want change others can help but you need to work at it too. Its not easy but its worth it.
I never had any friend and I pretty much hate my family and fear people in general. I just want to be alone, but actually be alone in my own place and not have to deal with society.
Also, I know I have more than just depression.
>Also, I know I have more than just depression.
Don't worry, depression is already a very serious disease with with quite high mortality. Don't underestimate it and go treat yourself.
And if you hate everybody then more the reason to look for treatment. Being alone won't help you, because in fact the person you hate the most is yourself, and being alone only increases the time you spend with yourself.
i'm a hypocrit for saying this, but yes. If i told my problems at my house they would a) laugh in my face b) laugh some more in my face c)completely not understand and looking there dumbfucked (as a friend was, when i told my problem..i just gave up)
goodluck
>>8 then go to a therapist,and ask him to explain the problem to your parents
First and foremost: do you REALLY want to change?
That's the problem most people on this board have; they want a better life, but they don't want to take the action necessary.
If you really want to change, you can do it. It's going to be really hard, but you CAN to do it.
Psych yourself up, open your door, and say to your parents: "I need help."
And although it'll take a lot of courage, and it might be embarrassing, you need to make yourself be truthful to whoever you talk to.
If you really want to change you'll be able to be truthful.
Good luck!
>>10
I think I don't, but I want to be able to be away from everyone.
>>11 I suggest you watch the movie "Into the wild". The protagonist is in a totally different situation from you, but perhaps it will resonate with your experiences.
The thing is, if you really want to be alone, then you can do it, and nobody will stop you from doing so. But I suspect that in fact you crave for human contact, and just can't find a way of satisfying this craving.
I used to be in your position, OP. I wished and wished that some magical solution would present itself. However, as the years went by, I came to learn that there is no "key", as you put it. The problem only gets worse with time.
If you think you're afraid now, wait a few years. As you spend more time in solitude, you find your only constant campanion is yourself. The more time you spend with yourself, the more it begins to eat away at you. I may be here in my room of my own accord, but I feel like I'm trapped within the prison of my own mind. I can't do what I want, feel what I want, or think what I want, because I always shoot myself down if I begin to move out of line.
Now, I've given up all hope of ever getting help. I habitually lie to family and coworkers about my problems (or, more often, never let the conversation drift anywhere near them; I've become quite good at this sort of manipulation). None of them suspect a thing. If I notice that I'm starting to hallucinate or otherwise wig out, I remove myself to a secluded area, preferably my room. There I can fall apart alone, and nobody need be the wiser.
So what's life like without help? It's a never-ending hell. I'm always trapped with the constant company of the one person I hate the most -- myself. Every night I pray that I'll die in my sleep, since I know I can't do it on my own. Every attempt ends in failure, and then it's even more unbearable having to be stuck with myself.
I just wish there was some way I could curl up and disappear from everything, including my own mind. Sadly, that will never happen, and I'm effectively condemned to a limitless hell.
OP, if you don't or can't force yourself to get help, I'm what you will become.
mate, why exactly do you feel this way?
write a letter/e-mail to the doctor
Divorce is not always a bad thing, specially when you consider the alternative. My parents divorced when I was five, and I couldn't wait for it to happen, because daily life was hell with them (too many shouts and arguments). Of course I was sad it did not work for them, but after the divorce their relationship improved a lot and they stayed in good terms. Nowadays each of them found another partner and they lead happy relationships, what better result could you expect?
And being divorced did not prevent them from parenting. It was not always easy, but it was infinitely better than having to stand their arguments.