Turning into a monster? (16)

1 Name: Anonymous : 2009-02-06 22:09 ID:u1jMiuO4

After analyzing myself yesterday I came to the conclusion that I'm one creepy bitch. Sum facts about me:

-I look at CP. I know that these kids probably feel like shit and will be fucked up for the rest of their lives, but I just don't care. In fact I find it even hotter and funny that they are suffering. Watching small boys and girls getting pounded by fat ugly men is both hot and funny to me.

-A while ago a horse got raped and stabbed to death according to a newspaper. I thought it was hot and it made me laugh. I also laughed when I read about some kids setting a couple of puppies on fire.

-I constantly fantasize about beating, raping and molesting small children, from infants to about 6 year olds. I've been having serious thoughts about starting working as a baby sitter just so I can get my hands on small children and live out my fantasies. People never suspect women to rape their children so it would probably be very easy i think.

-Israel bombing Gaza, seeing pictures of dead and injured adults and children, reading how people were constantly living in fear of the bombs, people having their lives chattered... Yup, I laughed at that, A LOT.

Yeah I think you get the picture. So I ask you; Is this normal? I can't ask anyone irl because I'm afraid of getting locked up. Am I feeling like this because I'm bitter about my own life? I'm unemployed because of depression and being suicidal from time to time, and my life has steadily gotten shittier and shittier for a long time now. Other than that I don't know. Am I turning into a monster? What can I do about it? Discuss!

2 Name: Anonymous : 2009-02-06 23:09 ID:XqZZ/T73

Why dont you look for those sado-masochist places and enjoy beating people there.

3 Name: Anonymous : 2009-02-07 00:05 ID:YxTcQWr+

>>1 basically, as long as you don't hurt no one, be my guest, and get high on whatever fancies you. You could maybe even try to write a novel. Plenty of morbid people earn a living satisfying the morbid urges of the populace (because be reassured that you are not alone in your nasty tastes).

But in the end it looks like you are not very happy about it. If that is so (and it does not need to be so), then maybe you could try find things or people to care about, develop a bit of empathy. That would do wonders for you. From what you tell, you are simply desperate and feel you have nothing more to lose. So start earning stuff you'll not want to lose, and things will get better.

4 Name: Anonymous : 2009-02-07 04:22 ID:3QfJ/p78

You need to see a psychiatrist and soon. If you are contemplating hurting a kid, you are severely fucked up and it sounds like you know this. If you get your mental health problems (eg.depression) treated, as you recover you will begin to wonder who exactly this person was that you are now, as though it was a different person.
Alternatively if you don't get yourself help, I don't think you will garner much sympathy from others since it sounds as though you have some semblance of rationality.

You aren't a monster, you just need help and I hope you get it. (assuming you aren't a troll)

5 Name: Anonymous : 2009-02-07 22:07 ID:WX7+Lbct

Eh just an normal sociopath dawg

6 Name: Anonymous : 2009-02-13 04:03 ID:lBrbQHPb

you can rape and molest me anytime :)

7 Name: Anonymous : 2009-02-13 12:27 ID:/MiAKYoq

Kill yourself.

8 Name: Anonymous : 2009-02-13 21:49 ID:hOrF5rP0

I like you OP.

9 Name: Anonymous : 2009-02-16 02:04 ID:xtToGpoD

i think~
you need a place to distribute your urge/hunger of it...
why don't you be a story writer for thriller novel or something...
maybe you have some anger that you can't let go neither you can confess to another people.
so that makes you need some sadistic things to relaese your deep anger that you can't distribute. (it's just like a dead metal musician or emos~).

10 Name: Anonymous : 2009-02-18 05:59 ID:Y8xqZgTb

Write me a nice guro manga please. I know you can do it!

11 Name: Anonymous : 2009-02-20 07:50 ID:g7nXkJST

>>1
I love you. Please do things to me.

12 Name: Anonymous : 2009-02-20 10:19 ID:+Dm3pEIh

>>8
>>11

same person, btw

13 Name: Anonymous : 2009-02-21 09:36 ID:g7nXkJST

>>12
Uhhh... no. Look at the ID, tard.

14 Name: Anonymous : 2009-02-23 10:07 ID:dOgbUGUX

>>13
sometimes ID changes, I don't know why but in this thread http://4-ch.net/sports/kareha.pl/1157260992/l50
55 and 56 it's me

15 Name: Anonymous : 2009-02-24 00:08 ID:Heaven

>>14 it's sage.

16 Name: Anonymous : 2009-02-26 02:28 ID:z6DRhAzL

>>1 you're probably fat

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