View of the world (5)

1 Name: Anonymous : 2010-04-20 12:52 ID:DxYJF0mW

I am a 21 years old living in Australia, it is sad that I have to shut people out of my life because everyone around me is so selfish.

I had a crush on a girl, and helped her out with her assignments, but when the assignments are over she just ignored me.

I mean, if someone talks to me, I immediately assume they want something from me.

Isn't it a sad world we live in

2 Name: Anonymous : 2010-04-20 15:36 ID:zYXDzh+8

wait so im confused, how does your title have anything to do with what you wrote? im guessing its something along the lines of the girl you like doesnt know that you exist? if so go to romance instead of personal issues, that board is there for a reason

3 Name: Anonymous : 2010-04-20 21:46 ID:sfYeKOR9

>>2

I think he's saying this is how he feels, or how he views the world right now.

(I'm guessing he's just venting, since he didn't ask for help with anything, but that's not exclusive to this community offering some advice.)

OP,

I recently found myself using a person for something. The only real reason I was nice to them or talked to them (for the most part) was because I wanted them to do things for me. I stopped doing this because I consider it a serious moral flaw that I simply cannot live with.

Even for me, who strives to be a good person (though often fails), I find myself doing things that are quite immoral. It's a flawed world, people are not perfect even when they try to be. But still, if you seek out the best parts of this world, there are many wonderful things. Sometimes you have to create them, but that's how all this came to be in the first place right? People basically just got together and made everything up, civilization, the internet, cars, norms, etc. It's all just the result of human contrivance, and it's constantly being maintained by our acknowledgment of it. So you can personally contrive some (more) of your current experience, surely.

The only things you can do to avoid being used are 1. to avoid people who are likely to do this, and 2. to examine how you are connecting with a given person, and why they continue to connect with you.

All interaction is based on a give-and-take transaction, but when it's more give than take on your part you need to think about why you are doing it and why the other person is not matching their end of the bargain. By doing this, it will become easier to identify people who are just using you.

There are definitely good people out there, it's just hard to find them if you look in ordinary places. I have met some amazing people, but never by ordinary means. I attended unconventional gatherings, etc, and met unconventional people.

4 Name: Anonymous : 2010-04-23 08:34 ID:dy+bpqur

>>1

>I had a crush on a girl, and helped her out with her assignments, but when the assignments are over she just ignored me.

And you helped this girl because?

It was no accident you helped a girl you had a crush on.
Helping someone with an assignment isn't some transaction where afterward she reciprocates by showering you with the attention you desire.

No, you aren't an unselfish martyr with a penchant for helping people, nor can you think of yourself any better than any other person. Get over yourself.

5 Name: Anonymous : 2010-04-23 17:02 ID:U/7PMS1a

Helping a girl with homework isn't going to imply you have any interest in her. You have to let her know...you obviously forgot to do that, and figured you were just helping her do work.

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