completely lost... (6)

1 Name: Anonymous : 2010-09-16 17:48 ID:GHSpj/ea

I have taken quite a turn for the worst. I've got so many problems to think about it's killing me.

I've recently been disqualified from college and have to wait a whole year before I can go back. Since i'm not going to be attending college for a year, my financial aid has come back to bite me for repayment. i've never held a job in my life and with the current state of the economy, it's almost impossible to find one.

I got disqualified because I took engineering and it wasn't exactly a walk in the park for me. Technically I'm almost done with my courses, but I came up short with my grades at the worst possible time. My parents keep pushing me to be in engineering and I've told them i've struggled, but they just don't think i'm trying hard enough.

Now i'm in my 20's living at home with my parents: my mother who is constantly suffocating me with her complaints and worries, and my father who has pretty much given me the cold shoulder and doesn't really speak to me much unless i speak to him. I've become a total loser in every regard and it's this constant thought that's driving me to despair.

Currently I've tried to find a job that can help me pay for the school bill, and tried to convince my parents that I'll take some community college courses to soften next year's enrollment when i finally return to finish.

My job search has been utterly hopeless, and I have to wait till winter to take classes. and despite my plans, my dad is still giving me the cold shoulder and now all my family is haranguing me with questions that just destroy me.

I'm trying so hard to make peace with myself and my family but it's not working at all. It really makes me break down at times. I don't know what to do...

2 Name: Anonymous : 2010-09-17 07:13 ID:LYRQ7c9I

you are not alone dude. there are lots of people in the same shoes as you. what type of jobs have you been looking into? have you ever considered starting off with just a random mall job while you look for a job that pays better? you could use the mall job for experience/references and just a general confidence booster. usually mall jobs are pretty chill and if you're lucky you end up with a job where it is like hanging out with co-workers rather than working work.

3 Name: Anonymous : 2010-09-18 19:41 ID:of1ecTTL

I find it rather funny on how people must seek other's approval to live their own life.

4 Name: Anonymous : 2010-09-19 06:26 ID:GHSpj/ea

OP here. heh, i really do know what you mean. Idk what is, but I feel like the only way to live your own life is to have your own money. I've lived my life just borrowing from everyone else.

It really got to me that people at college thought i was spoiled or rich since my parents supported me for all expenses, while they worked for rent and food (but the fact of the matter is i'm not well off at all).

I really am fine; I just need to get my ass back on track by getting a job and working on finishing school. I just have to go through the pain numbing process of having friends and family being so disappointed in me.

It is really crazy that people care about what others think of them, but i find it really hard not to, especially with people you care for. The people who can overcome that sort of struggle are truly amazing to me.

I suppose this year will be a real learning experience for me.

5 Name: Anonymous : 2010-09-20 21:59 ID:of1ecTTL

This is #3 again. =D!

Here, let me give you some real advice sonny. Today, nobody is going to give a damn about your Bachelor. First, tell me, what is your major?

6 Name: Anonymous : 2010-09-24 05:57 ID:GHSpj/ea

OP. I'm a computer science major. it's also interesting that i see a lot of people do say that college is just a "paper chase." It's not that I don't believe them, I was just never brought up to believe such a thing. As I got older though, as is the case with most people i'm assuming, I began to have a more open mind on things in general.

I've also heard some people say that bachelors is sort of becoming the new high school diploma of sorts, in that just about anybody is getting a 4 year degree nowadays, but again, i'm not too sure on the validity of that.

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