I'm gay and I'm scared. (35)

27 Name: Chamomile : 2012-01-21 22:12 ID:aJxakJag

Emily, what's the name of the camp in question? They vary from "mostly just inconvenient" to "the thing of nightmares," if you give us a name we can do some digging and find out just how much you should be willing to sacrifice to avoid being sent there. If in doubt, err on the side of caution, which in this case means staying as far away from Utah-based homosexual "cure" camps as possible. They tend to lean towards the nightmare side of things and it will cause permanent psychological damage to you if it does. Yes, you can recover from these camps to the point where you can move on and be happy with your life, but it will leave permanent scars.

I'm trying not to scare you, because it's important to stay calm and rational and make your own choices instead of acting on blind faith in strangers from the internet due to panic, but it really is important you understand the stakes here.

A few suggestions.

First, a lot of people have provided links to organizations that might be able to protect you. If they can, this would be, by far, the most preferable option. It's low-risk and socially sanctioned, which will probably make an eventual reconciliation with your parents much easier if you decide you want one.

Second, however, have a back-up plan in case that doesn't work. Remember, society is a promise between the community to protect the individual and the individual to uphold the community. If the community does not make good on its promise to protect you (in this case, from psychological abuse), you have no obligation to obey societal rules, norms, or even laws anymore. If the place is nasty enough and your options are limited enough, you will likely be better off finding some place to run to. There isn't exactly going to be a huge manhunt over this, so it's not like you're going to be a fugitive your whole life. By the time you hit your eighteenth birthday, it'll basically be over.

Good luck.

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