I'm 21 years old.
I lost my virginity around 20 days ago.
I knew things would get steamy, but I didn't think I would go all the way.
More than me losing it, but more of who I lost it to- I never liked that guy that way, he was a Joker but he annoyed me.
I remember in one of our conversations, he once said 'You know how to take a man to heaven'. I just 'lol'd' it off but I thought in my head 'Well, I won't ever be taking you there'.
After that night, I wanted to to it again, I remember.
What the fuck brain, I thought.
I've been crying now and then, right from the bus trip back to this day.
What adds to the guilt was- I wanted it at that point. I wanted it...but didn't want it. I wanted it too much to have fought away. My mind tends to replay the events of that fateful night, and goes off on alternate endings 'If you had just left that room...'
'If you didn't go on that holiday trip and rotted in your Hostel room instead...'
Side note- There is a lad I like, we talked everyday since I knew him in September. Whom I -wanted- to lose it to.
But clearly, shit happened before that. Another guilt fuel.
I told him what happened, and he said nothing was going to change between us. He said I was brave to tell him and he would make me forget. Now, we're more than what we meant to each other before. So one can say this awful incident came with this singular blessing.
Still, how do I get over the guilt? How do I stop these memories from playing in my head? I need to get over it as soon as I possibly can. I have things to do, like my thesis and stuff.
Please help me because I can't talk to anyone else about it.
Why do you care? You're in a feminist world, just go full whore and enjoy yourself while putting male virgins on /r9k/ down.
Most people seem to be disappointed with (or regretful of) their first time. I wouldn't worry about it. If anything you are more adequately prepared (physically and mentally) for when you have sex with someone you truly care about, e.g. the boy you like.
Just relax and don't get too hung up about it. Most people have multiple sex partners throughout their lives, so it's not like everyone stays with the person they lose their virginity to.
>>2 this.
Look, you don't have to care about this sort of thing. It's a lot worse to not have had any experience with sex, isn't it?
My first time was awful, and in fact, I've only ever been with my ex-girlfriend who I couldn't stand. My only experiences with sex have been completely negative. I find the whole thing kind of disgusting, in fact. But then, that's not how it should be. Life isn't a fairy tale and you won't fall in love with your first partner. I just have some severe emotional problems, so you shouldn't be like me. Just keep on going and find the person who's right for you.
I was pressured into sex my first time and though I felt very bad about giving my first experience to a selfish girl, that feeling did pass and since then I have had good lovemaking experiences. You will too, femanon, and that will help you heal your regret. You know why you feel bad about it and that's a healthy beginning to healing too.
>>2
Dat thought :D
The lad I like is a virgin naughty grin :D
Thank you for sharing thoughts and experiences everyone.
I'd like to think I'm slowly coming out of it.
But I'm in a phase where I think I feel better but suddenly, whatever happened comes back to me and I'm like 'Shit'.
By the way, the lad I liked; we are together now. I'm happy to have him by my side :)
Valuing virginity is a purely cultural phenomenon. It's completely arbitrary, and actually goes much against our human nature.
Ignore it all, and learn how to listen to your own body.
How such as this?
http://9oo.jp/ivDJT9
fag