I’m 28 now but when I was 9 my older brother started touching me while I was sleeping, masturbated me and rub his penis in my ass.
I suddenly changed personality, from an extroverted kid to a very introverted one, always in my room, no friends, almost all my puberty depressed, I tried to never mention his name again, just call him "the other one" (I have another brother) and trying to keep always an eye on my little sister, worry about he will try the same with her.
I have been through this. It took me a long time to admit to myself that I wasn't the sick and crazy one. I struggled, and I still struggle. But I am stronger, and more confident than I ever thought possible. I was lucky, I had a friend I could trust, i told her first. It felt so good to have that secret off my chest, and someone who could hear. From there I went to a psychologist. Best decision of my life. I have also been on medication to help me through the depression, and I am doing so much better. I have a career, I have a house, I am a good person. I refuse to let what he did to me, ruin me. I hope that you can find some professional resources to help you as well. Someone who has NOT experienced this, will never know. The shame, the guilt, the pain that we have had to live with. Seeing your abuser regularily and having to pretend they don't make you want to vomit, is much too much for many - BUT REMIND YOURSELF - you made it through. You are not to blame. It was not your fault! You deserve to be happy. I have made the choice that I will never confront my brother, but that only came after a lot of therapy, a lot of self reflection. To me, there is nothing he can say or do to take it away, so for me, it won't give me peace. Knowing that I am so much better than him, and that I am a survivor, is what I focus on. My friends , and family, those that I have a healthy relationship, are what matters. You need to LIVE PAST AND BEYOND what happened. The abuse is not who you are, it is only a piece of what you overcame! Learn to love and trust yourself again. Ignore those that are too ignorant to understand. REmember: 'Be who you are, say what you feel. Those that matter won't mind. Those that do, don't matter' All the best wishes in your quest for peace, self acceptance and contentment. You deserve it. >>60
My brother sexually abused me when I was 12 years old. I am still only a teen and I can definitely relate to what your going through. I'm still struggling with the emotional toll it has taken on me. I'm planning on telling my therapist I have recently been going to (for other reasons) about what has happened to me. Even though this was a long time ago, I completely agree that you should tell someone about what has happened to you. Even though this has happened to you, you deserve to be happy and fulfill your dreams. Forget about all those people in the word who say mean things, torment others just to make themselves feel better, and hurt others because they have a problem with themselves. I hope you can (or already have) gotten through this and are working your hardest to over come the emotion parts of this.
>>146
How will getting him into trouble help you? It won't, you can't modify the past. All you're going to do is hurt someone, someone who has issues controlling themselves. It's likely that he's already hurt himself, why throw more onto him over something so small? If it wasn't for society you wouldn't even be emotionally "damaged" by the so called "sexual abuse" that took place in the past.
I, too, was molested by my older brother. It started when I was 11 years old. He'd of been, 14 years old. It started out as just simple "touching" and "feeling" around my body. Poking around. I just thought to myself that all boys will do it at some point, because their curiousity would get the better of them. Boy, I should've prepared myself for what happened next. Being only 11, I assumed it was a one time thing. I didn't think much of it, then it got much worse. He'd start forcing me into corners, and humping me... O_O
I accidentally touched my younger sister's boob once; I hope she's not emotionally scarred.
I'll apologize in advance for the long post, but I am bearing my soul, and sharing this for the first time.
When I was a young, curious, confused teenager (prolly 15 or so, maybe a bit older) I made the mistake of letting my curiosity get the better of me. Twice I felt my younger (by 2 years) sister's vagina in her sleep. I sort of touched around, by the opening and a little bit in the first time, but not the second (like to your first knuckle from completely outside, but she was still a virgin, and I don't think i was doing it right anyway, so i wonder if it was even penetration). I never tried to give her pleasure, to kiss, or to lick, never touched her clit, and I never jerked off or even played with my penis or touched her with it. The second time, she woke up and said "gross". I feigned starting awake from her response and asked what woke her, to which she just went right back to sleep.
They're pretty cool.
shit guys, sorry, i thought I was replying to the thread about indians.
Mine is also a little long...
My little sister and I were also touched by our older brother. He is about 2 years older, and she is about 2 years younger.
I don't remember how old I was. 8, 11, I'm not sure. But I was young.