[TINFOIL] What's your favorite conspiracy theory? [HOAX] (55)

1 Name: Citizen : 2008-04-14 04:17 ID:qzSapBtH

Mine's gotta be the massively scoped Patriot Movement. A brief rundown:

  • The entity which is considered the government of the United States is in fact a corporation established in 1860something.
  • There is a real you and a fake you which is your name spelled with capital letters. The banks and Corp. US can only interact with the fake you.
  • The Corp. US has been under martial law since the Civil War, you can tell because the flags in government buildings have gold tassels or something.
  • Alaska and Hawaii weren't approved by the US, just the Corp. The true US has only 48 states.
  • There are a bunch of forms you can file with which you can sneak your way out of the system (depatriating/repatriating, land grants, something involving the universal commerical code).

It kinda almost makes sense as an allegory or something, but people believe these things exist.

2 Name: Citizen : 2008-04-14 04:24 ID:Heaven

The belief that >>2 gets are inherently valuable.

3 Name: Citizen : 2008-04-14 04:57 ID:cbz0Dl0p

The conspiracy that computers are stolen alien tech

4 Name: Citizen : 2008-04-15 00:05 ID:3OKcSmjY

I have this crazy conspiracy theory about crazy conspiracy theories...

5 Name: Citizen : 2008-04-15 11:52 ID:p6wNns91

During the 1960s, the USSR was developing a weaponized form of rabies. Essentially, this disease would appear as a normal fever but the victims would eventually turn crazy and start attacking those around them, spreading the illness through bites. If this had been kept secret and the populace were unprepared, the Soviets could have inflicted massive casualties by releasing the weapon in the US using a few sleeper agents. This was designed as part of a strategy to to weaken the US at home should war break out in Europe. This was an ideal solution to the inability of the Soviets (at the time) to strike the US with a crippling nuclear attack. In order to prepare the populace, the CIA covertly funded the production of zombie movies. These were superior, they figured to outright propaganda films, as they were less likely to cause a scare or to upset relations with the USSR. These embedded in the minds of Americans the idea of a plague that rendered its victims beyond control and as such, they had to be eliminated. Think about it: do you know what to do in the event of a zombie plague? Simple: Take a defensive position, arm yourself, isolate the wounded and sick. That's all you'd need to survive an outbreak of weaponized rabies. As the Soviets' abilities to strike the US with nuclear weapons improved, their studies into biological weapons diminished. However, we're still ingrained with that relic of the era in our popular culture.

6 Name: Citizen : 2008-04-15 16:09 ID:na9pW6pV

>>5
Cute, but factually incorrect insofar as the Sovs were putting vast resources into biological warfare R&D right up until the Wall came down.

There's an island in the Caspian Sea accidentally contaminated with weaponized anthrax about twenty years back. The cover story was an industrial accident with chemical contamination, but the island was and is uninhabited.

There was also an incident in the 1970s in which something extremely nasty (weaponized ebola, according to some sources) got loose from a lab and depopulated several towns in western Siberia.

Yes, the Sovs signed treaties in the early 70s saying they were giving up all biowar research. They then ignored that treaty, like they ignored all the others.

7 Name: Citizen : 2008-04-15 20:07 ID:Heaven

> Yes, the Sovs signed treaties in the early 70s saying they were giving up all biowar research. They then ignored that treaty, like they ignored all the others.

Hey now, take a walk through Fort Detrick before you demonize the Soviets.

8 Name: Citizen : 2008-04-15 20:51 ID:Heaven

>>7
Isn't that a bit like saying "don't say bad things about poor misunderstood Pol Pot?"

9 Name: Citizen : 2008-04-15 23:49 ID:Heaven

>>8
If every major country slaughtered and starved its civilians but someone wouldn't shut up about Pol Pot even though he's par for the course, then yes, it would be very much like saying that.

10 Name: Citizen : 2008-04-16 00:13 ID:3OKcSmjY

>>9
If my aunt had different plumbing she'd be my uncle. Was there a point to this?

11 Name: Funded by the Elitist Superstructure @ DQN : 2008-04-16 02:13 ID:34IZikK/

>>6
>>7
>>8
>>9
>>10
Missed the point of this thread.

How about the various 'Secret Shadow Club controls the world, conspiracies, The Illuminati, Freemasons, Jews, Elitist Superstructure @ DQN.

All nonsense.

12 Name: Citizen : 2008-04-16 06:53 ID:7ykUI51/

>>10
If you're trolling then hm.. I'd give you a 6/10. If you don't understand >>9's point then you will need to kill yourself.

13 Name: Citizen : 2008-04-16 20:53 ID:3OKcSmjY

>>12
no u

14 Name: Citizen : 2008-04-16 22:41 ID:qzSapBtH

Phantom time hypothesis. It takes a lot of effort to erase 300 years of history.

15 Name: Citizen : 2008-04-17 00:59 ID:Odi8BYN0

>>1

I've heard of this one before. Part of why it stays so popular is that there are these peddlers who say they can sell you a sure-fire guide to "becoming your own debtor" and legally escaping taxes, with this bullshit to back themselves up.

I like the "thiomersol coverup" myself.

16 Name: Citizen : 2008-04-17 01:50 ID:7ykUI51/

>>15
How do I know you are not a peddler peddling a way to peddle people into thinking they can evade tax?

17 Name: Citizen : 2008-04-17 01:51 ID:7ykUI51/

also google timecube, sometimes I prevent to be a timecuber in my math club and start retarded math arguments

18 Name: Citizen : 2008-04-17 12:14 ID:p6wNns91

The US made AIDS hoping to weaken Africa and colonize it in the future.

19 Name: Citizen : 2008-04-17 12:31 ID:p6wNns91

WAIT, no, my favorite is cigarette taxes.

When the plug was pulled on cigarette advertising, the people who used to make cigarette ads had to find something new to do. They're now in the business of making anti-cigarette ads. Taxes on cigarettes go up not because people are genuinely concerned, but because there's so much money in making the ads. They're basically pushing for more taxes to give themselves jobs. Notice how all of the tax revenue/settlement money goes to anti-smoking ads rather than to Medicare, where it could actually help mitigate the public health nuisance created by smoking.

20 Name: Citizen : 2008-04-17 20:14 ID:7ykUI51/

>>19
I hate when I share an opinion with moralfags and carefags. I oppose smoking, but not because I believe evil capitalists are trying to take over the world and feel the need to force my retarded ideals on others, just simply because it is pointless and people smoke because they feel insecure and other faggoty reasons.

21 Name: Citizen : 2008-04-18 03:00 ID:3OKcSmjY

>>17
Timecube is entertainingly strange but I don't count it as a conspiracy theory. It's more the barely intelligible ranting of a paranoid schizophrenic.

By the way, ever seen the Timecube Role-Playing Game? "Roll 1d4 for damages, MORTAL BODIES CAUSE PAIN!"

22 Name: Citizen : 2008-04-18 04:19 ID:7ykUI51/

>>21
Timecube, especially the forums where you talk to timecubists capable of constructing a sentence, is actually quite an interesting critique of contemporary mathematics and it's basis. I like to bring up concepts such as -1*-1=-1 in math club because it expands the mind.

23 Name: Citizen : 2008-04-18 07:25 ID:p6wNns91

How about this: Anti-smoking campaigns cost us more in the end than smoking. There's evidence for and against this. We mostly hear against due to the media being funded in part by anti-smoking ads. See >>19

In a world where everyone who chooses to smoke was allowed to do, paid their tobacco taxes, and these taxes were funneled directly into Medicare, would die of cancer before they reached the age at which they would require more intensive healthcare costs (say like 80-100). Furthermore, medicare could be propped up better and cost us less overall. If people died off at 60-70, that's a whole 30 years of savings for the healthcare system.

I hate to be so pro-tobacco, as they are a loathesome industry, but this anti-smoking crap is getting out of hand. Seriously, does everyone need to live forever?

24 Name: Citizen : 2008-04-18 07:53 ID:7ykUI51/

>>23
Yeah. I think we should let stupid people die so us intelligent people who will still have marketable skills when we are no longer able bodied do not have to pay some mexican to wipe their asses in a care home.

25 Name: Citizen : 2008-04-20 02:38 ID:Lr3UE4ZR

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gfieXKN_Vbg&feature=related

Can't beat this. It's scary as fuck even it were only partially true.

26 Name: Citizen : 2008-04-20 14:16 ID:7ykUI51/

>>25
yawn
Looks tacky to begin with and gets repetitive.

27 Name: Citizen : 2008-05-22 17:59 ID:opfuVE+S

Xeeeenuuuuu!

God I love Scientology :D

28 Name: Citizen : 2008-05-30 01:06 ID:KZhoibf1

My favorite is not the theories themselves, but how suicides are always, without fail, "suspicious".

29 Name: Citizen : 2008-05-30 01:06 ID:KZhoibf1

Come to think of it, have you seen the Clinton Death List?
Every death is a suspicious death.

30 Name: Citizen : 2008-07-04 22:42 ID:Pb5bL1xq

I have this weird feeling that all of the things we learned at the school about history of mankind are fake or at least only half true. You know, things like pre-diluvian civilizations, the creation of planet earth, the shape of the continents, humans living with dinosaurs and all of those things.

31 Name: Citizen : 2008-07-12 21:20 ID:Heaven

>>30
all becoz our world is SO....uncertain.....i guess...we thought we as humans are great thinkers but we know our world to like
'misty' in form.

32 Name: Citizen : 2008-07-17 00:01 ID:dLrDscbF

One of my favorites is that there are holes in the north and south pole (?) and that the world is constructed by NASA which tries to cover up the holes

33 Name: Citizen : 2008-07-17 00:24 ID:AWcRfWGW

>>32
Hah??? WAT???

34 Name: Citizen : 2008-07-17 01:26 ID:uWtwN0l4

>>33
Google for "hollow Earth." Seriously. There is a fair amount of stuff out there about this rather odd idea, most of it completely serious.

Supposedly Hitler was a hollow-Earth believer, which my explain why so many of the people drawn to the idea also add to it a bunch of even weirder stuff about hidden Nazi UFO bases deep inside the Earth.

Supposedly the UFOs get in and out through the big holes in the North and South Poles, which are hundreds of miles across. Any satellite imagery you've seen that doesn't show them is only proof that the government doctors all the satellite imagery to hide the truth, and that proves it's all true. See? Some people also add to this stuff about a hidden secret Nazi UFO base on the Moon.

And some people mix this stuff up with mangled third-hand half-remembered science fiction stories like "The Shaver Mysteries," which you can also find if you Google for them, which are stuff about ancient psychic aliens and alien psychic robot torture machines hidden in caves deep within the Earth, which drive surface-dwelling humans crazy by sending them migraine headaches and bizarre nightmares.

It's all pretty entertaining, actually. If you like that kind of thing.

35 Name: Citizen : 2008-07-20 13:37 ID:JrIuPOy7

>>20
former smoker here.
not pointless. rather good for calming yourself down. it makes you a little light headed and less tense. i am glad i never became a chain smoker though

36 Name: dmpk2k!hinhT6kz2E : 2008-07-20 20:33 ID:Heaven

Exercise does that too though.

Not to mention that exercise, diet and enough sleep makes an individual more resilient to stress and less likely to feel stressed in the first place.

Smokers are people who caved to peer pressure over something dumb when young. There is no deeper meaning or use.

37 Name: The Ghost of Star Trek Past : 2008-07-20 22:22 ID:PtY5xZCN

According to MAJESTYTWELVE the Knights Templar have become the driving influence at the highest levels of all the secret societies among the adepts known as the Illuminati. The most accessible font of their influence will be found in the (Cecil Rhodes) Roundtable Group (The Group), The Royal Institute Of International Affairs, the Church of Saint John the Divine in New York City, the Council On Foreign Relations, the Jason Society, the Skull and Bones Society (Russell Trust), the Scroll and Key Fraternity, the highest Degrees of the York and Scottish Rites of Freemasonry, the Ancient Order of Rosae Crucae, and many other secret societies which collectively make up the modern equivalent of the "Brotherhood of the Snake" also known as (a.k.a.) the "Guardians," the "Builders," the "Philosophers of Fire," or the "Illuminati".

The Philosophy of the Mystery Schools is the Luciferian Philosophy as espoused by General (Christopher) Albert Pike, one of the founders of the KKK. But it is not his original thought... he just expounded upon it in forms that eventually became accessible to those who seek it out. Christopher means Christ-like. To the adept, Albert Pike achieved a mystical apotheosis in the Lodge of Perfection and brought forth the Christ within. He thus became Christed taking on the name Christopher.

Watch "StarTrek" from the beginning episodes up to the present, and you will begin to realize that it was an indoctrination into the concepts of socialism through subliminal initiation of the youth of the nation. The Captains James T. Kirk (JTK = K(nights) (of the) T(emple) (of) J(erusalem) and Christopher Pike are symbolic salutes to the Order of the Templars, and to the Brotherhoods greatest philosopher and probably its most prolific writer the Christed General Albert Pike. The Enterprise represents their great work or plan which if navigated properly will lead them to the realization of their dream of a united socialist utopian world.

"As nearly as I can concentrate on the question today, I believe I am God; certainly you are, I think we intelligent beings on this planet are all a piece of God, are becoming God." Interview with Gene Roddenberry in "Star Trek Creator" by David Alexander, Roc, an imprint of Dutton Signet a division of Penguin Books New York, page 568, par 1

38 Name: The Ghost of Star Trek Past : 2008-07-20 22:47 ID:PtY5xZCN

The propaganda attack against the American People continues through movies. In Star Wars Luke Skywalker (Apollo, Horus, Osiris), the SON of a widow (initiate) goes in search of himself (Secret, lost Word, or Great Work). Jedi Knight Darth Vader (Osiris, Sun Father, Apollo, Doctrine, Lucifer, Master of the FORCE [magic] who has gone over to the Darkside (religion, nationalism, superstition) separates the Princess (the title signifies BECOMING) Lea (Isis - Moon - Church) from the Doctrine (illumination).

Luke falls in love with Lea and begins a sexless, but spiritual relationship with the Princess. This mystical union produces the child HORUS (falcon headed God) which, in the movie, is personified in the illumination of Luke transforming him into an Adept or Priest (Jedi Knight - Sun Son - Adept - Reincarnated Osiris - Apollo - God - Doctrine). He embarks upon a Quest in the Millenium (saviors always return at the millenium) Falcon (Horus as savior) to rescue Princess Lea which results in a confrontation with Vader who imparts knowledge (Intelligence - Fire) resulting in Luke finding the Holy Grail (Bloodline, Identity, Lost Word, Obelisk, Penis, Creative Force, apotheosis). With this knowledge he succeeds in reuniting (uniting in marriage) the Force (doctrine) with Princess Lea (Church) which reestablishes the Order of Jedi Knights (Congregation - full body of Adepts or Priests - sixth root race - evolved and matured mankind - God Race, Horus) producing chaos, rebellion, and the establishment of the New Dawn on the horizon (Horus Risen), the New Age, the New Atlantis, a New World Order, the socialist utopian world.

Same message in the Lion King. But this motion picture goes even further revealing the true malevolence of this deception. The Hyenas portray what the "Order" considers to be the "useless eaters of the world," blacks, Hispanics, and aboriginal peoples. The Lion is the symbol of the Tribe of Judah, the so-called Israel, Christian Identity, British Israel, International Zionism, the Anglo/Aryan race. Don't even think you understand any of this as "important". It is only the manipulation through which the Illuminati plans to wrest complete control of the world... in other words total bullshit.

The true history reveals that "King David" was never the ruler of the nation of "Israel" but conquered "Israel" as the King of "Judah". It was that war into which he sent off the husband of Bathsheba to be killed in the forefront of battle.

39 Name: J : 2008-09-04 19:53 ID:8kAs5MIn

Aliens are controlling the government!? AND THEY'RE GOING TO KILL HUMANS IN MASS GENOCIDE!? ALERT THE PEOPLES!! O.O;

40 Name: Citizen : 2008-09-05 10:14 ID:AzIjwzjG

About 2 years ago, there was a bunch of stuff on tv about how George Washington, and a few other founding fathers, was a "Mason." Of course it was crap and only the Masons believed it.

41 Name: Citizen : 2008-09-05 21:02 ID:QqFnRlXI

42 Name: Citizen : 2008-09-06 04:39 ID:Heaven

sorry, that link broke after a few hours

http://memory.loc.gov/mss/mgw/mgw2/040/3070295.jpg

43 Name: Citizen : 2008-09-07 00:31 ID:Heaven

> that link broke after a few hours

I wonder why...

44 Name: Citizen : 2008-09-07 09:20 ID:Heaven

>>40

Everyone that was everyone (that was white or black or Chinese AND hella cool) was a Mason back in the day. Being a mason used to be awesome. Now it just means you're really old.

Anonymous just needs more pointless rituals and they can completely replace the old guard.

45 Name: Citizen : 2008-11-19 05:28 ID:s/uqBk8Z

Exactly. Washington, Jefferson, all the rest of our founding fathers were Masons, and it's true that there are Masonic symbols on the Great Seal, and by extension on all our money; what's not true is the crap that gets spread about what the Masons ARE. They're basically just the world's oldest frat group, stupid secret rituals and all. All the symbols on our money are basically just a bunch of slogans about freedom, justice, progress and revolution--you know, the stuff every country likes to say about itself--encoded in a really old symbolic language that, while it seems obscure and sinister to us, was almost a second alphabet among intellectuals and tradesmen of the 1700s.

46 Name: Citizen : 2008-11-23 19:57 ID:p9tDytk9

I'm surprised no one has mentioned incidents like 9/11, Pearl Harbor, or JFK's assassination not happening as officially reported. I've always associated those kinds of big events with spawning conspiracy theories.

My personal favorites are generally the conspiracy theories regarding things hidden in Disney films. ^_^

47 Name: J : 2008-11-26 19:04 ID:8kAs5MIn

ya rite

48 Name: Citizen : 2008-12-06 05:14 ID:J5N4An2g

ummmmgggrrrrr

49 Name: Satou Tatsuhiro : 2008-12-31 01:18 ID:WaTgM597

In this world, conspiracies exist.
However, there is a more than a ninety-nine percent chance that the plausible-sounding conspiracies that you hear from others are simple delusions or even intentional lies. When you visit a bookstore, the books with titles like The Great Jewish Conspiracy to Ruin the Japanese Economy! or The Super Conspiracy of the CIA That HIdes Their Secret Pact with Aliens! are all just trivial delusions.
Even so… people love conspiracies.
Conspiracies. We are hopelessly fascinated by the sound of that word and its bittersweet echo. Consider, for example, the process by which The Jewish Conspiracy Theory comes to be: The author has multiple, terrible complexes and feelings, such as “Why am I poor?”; “Why is my life not more comfortable?”; “Why can I not find a girlfriend?” His mind and body constantly are pressured, from both within and without.
Those pent-up grudges become endless feelings of hatred toward society. They become rage.
However, the largest source of rage is his personal cowardice.
He is poor because he lacks the skill with which to earn money. He has no girlfriend because he lacks charisma. But the process of seeing this truth and acknowledging his own incompetence requires quite a bit of courage. No human beings, regardless of who they might be, wants to look directly at their own shortcomings.
At this point, the conspiracy theorist projects his own cowardice onto the outside world.
He creates a ficitious enemy outside of himself.
Enemy. My enemy. Society’s enemy.
“Because an enemy conspires to do evil, I cannot find happiness. Because of this conspiracy, I cannot find a girlfriend. Thats right! This is all because of the Jews. Because the Jews are scheming away out there, I can’t find happiness. Damn you Jews! I wont forgive you!”
Truthfully, this kind of thinking also incoveniences Jewish people.
All conspiracy theorists need to look more closely at reality. “Enemies” dont exist externally. “Evil” does not exist externally. One has to assume blame oneself for being a worthless person.
It’s definately not a Jewish conspiracy, nor a CIA conspiracy, and- obvious as this may be- its not an alien conspiracy. Before all else, one needs to keep this fact firmly in mind while living one’s life.
Even so…
A tiny percentage of people actually have stumbled upon a real conspiracy. There is, in fact, one person who witnessed with his own eyes a conspiracy that exists, at this very moment, in the most extreme secrecy.
Who is this person?
It’s me.

50 Name: Citizen : 2009-01-01 01:56 ID:/bZOVehm

>>49

because you're a jew conspiratist

51 Name: Kyoumo Unko!bKaGbR8Ka. : 2009-01-03 16:39 ID:j55rexGs

We suppose Maehara has no money but he has many followers
in Minsytou Party. Maehara's wife is ex-secretary of
Daisaku Ikeda, they say. We suppose Maehara's political
fund comes from Souka Gakkai...

52 Name: Citizen : 2009-01-03 17:54 ID:k1Tpt2RL

>>44
The OOoooOOOooo conspiracy part isn't that he was a Mason, it was that being a Mason meant he was a puppet of a higher power. Just like JFK was a puppet of the pope.

Conspiracies exist every day in sizes varying from tiny to huge. How many people do you think were involved in Madoff's ponzi scheme? Enron? Worldcom? On the small side, any time two people get together to commit a crime, a conspiracy has occurred. In government, take Abu Ghraib or the Houston Police Department Crime Lab.

Of course, it's obvious that the larger this conspiracy group is, the more likely someone is going to leak something or another: for instance, scientology and "snow white" (or better yet, "freakout" which was only caught because of snow white).

>Anonymous just needs more pointless rituals and they can completely replace the old guard.

Just because you don't know the secret butt slap doesn't mean it doesn't exist. It just means you're not awesome.

53 Name: Citizen : 2009-07-23 15:39 ID:zhmdrKFh

we are still trapped inside the matrix and 'The matrix' movie was funded by intelligent machines to make us believe that the matrix does not exist at all-it's just wild imagination.

54 Name: Citizen : 2009-08-08 07:58 ID:5dPDd6aS

Birthers - aka the idiotic cancer in America who think President Obama was not born in HI

55 Name: Citizen : 2009-08-08 18:40 ID:x08oqk0x

>>54

It's funny because it's completely fallacious slander campaign but they don't care.

This thread has been closed. You cannot post in this thread any longer.