1. Obama becomes US president.
2. Oil reserves exhausted. Engines invented that use weaponry as fuel. Soldiers burn their guns just to get to the battlefield. Wars decided through outcome of high-intensity arm-wrestling tournaments.
3. World hunger and landfill problem solved both solved when it's discovered garbage tastes great with ketchup. Ralph Nader lauded.
4. Bill passed to make hatred illegal. Enforced my all-powerful farmboy that can read minds.
5. Ragnarök averted when John McClane and John Rambo join forces. Both learn the power of teamwork.
6. All the children of the world join hands in singing a song of harmony and peace. Also, "Freebird".
7. We shit rainbows.

1. McCain becomes president.
2. US Constitution altered to allow the corpse of Ronald Reagan to serve as US President For Eternity.
3. All highways renamed the Ronald Reagan Highway.
4. All coins and bank notes feature Ronald Reagan.
5. All US Government buildings renamed Ronald Reagan Domes.
6. All US airports renamed Ronald Reagan International.
7. Thousands die as airplanes collide and run out of fuel in the confusion.

25 October, 2008: McCain is told to take things one step too far and, realizing how far he has fallen, ejects his entire campaign staff and suspends his presidential bid
30 October, 2008: After heated discussion between Obama, Biden, McCain, and the heads of both parties' congressional bodies, a constitutional amendment is introduced providing for the office of president to be divided between two co-presidents
1 November, 2008: It is passed rapidly
4 November, 2008: the populace overwhelmingly supports the Obama/post-Crisis McCain/Biden ticket
8 March, 2008: Backed by the co-presidents, a constitutional amendment allowing for national plebiscites is passed
12 January, 2009: A movement to change the United States of America from a federal republic to an empire begins
4 July, 2009: By overwhelming margins McCain and Obama are declared co-emperors by plebiscite
5 August, 2009: McCain and Obama, by the grace of the People, Emperors of America commence a great work to spread by force the values of the Second Enlightenment
12 November, 2009: The whole of the western hemisphere has either been incorporated or made a protectorate of America
18 January, 2010: The European Union is made a protectorate of America
22 April, 2010: Japan is made a protectorate of America
18 October, 2010: China is made a protectorate of America
15 December, 2010: McCain abdicates, retires to villa in Chihuahua, Mexico. There he composes his Meditations, which greatly invigorated virtue ethics and brought about an end to analytic philosophy. He is succeeded as co-emperor by Joe Lieberman
7 January, 2011: India is made a protectorate of America
21 February, 2011: McCain dies in his sleep. He is interned in the newly constructed Panthéon
26 July, 2011: Russia is made a protectorate of America
7 September, 2011: Having brought the entire world to yoke, the Empire of America and all its puppets are dissolved and reformed as a unitary City of Man
29 May, 2018: Lieberman abdicates
6 October, 2018: Lieberman dies
3 January, 2034: Obama abdicates
6 March, 2059: The Empire ends, the City of Man becomes a republic
10 March, 2059: Obama dies

nyoro~n