INSTANT REVIEW : Closer
A movie about 4 people who know how to cheat on each other.
Natalie Portman still sucks at acting.
INSTANT REVIEW: Million Dollar Baby
A great film written and directed Clint Eastwood, starring Clint Eastwood, about how great Clint Eastwood is.
Clorox bleach also plays a pivotal role.
INSTANT REVIEW: Emma
Two hours of silly female drama and romance and not one single sex scene with Gwyneth Paltrow.
A rip-off!
INSTANT REVIEW: The Princess Bride
The sort of film people will quote eighteen years after it hit the theatres. Required viewing for anyone wo wants to know too much about pop culture.
Oh, yeah, pretty forgettable as a film.
INSTANT REVIEW: Shaft
Black dude walks through a mediocre film and makes a lot of snappy remarks on racism issues.
Was that the original or the remake?
INSTANT REVIEW: Shaft, the original
The setup for the big climax got too distracting so let's just shoot everybody and call it day!
INSTANT REVIEW: Machssomim (Checkpoint)
A guy sets a camera to RECORD and does nothing else, tsahal and palestinians collide, and people who never knew shit all about the middle east conflict but still waffle about it nonstop should be obligated to shut the hell up and watch it. In the end, neither tsahal nor palestijns are demonized nor glorified, but in the end you might have gained some insight and even understanding.
INSTANT REVIEW: Utena, Adolescence Of
LIFE IS SYMBOLISM.
INSTANT REVIEW: Battle Royale 2
They take the concept from BR1, add some stupid rules and removes the deep plot!
INSTANT REVIEW: Independence Day
Mars Attacks was better and that one sucked, too.
tl;dr
the common goldfish carassius auratus has an attention span of a full nine seconds
INSTANT REVIEW: Waking Life
better title: Ruined By Rotoscope.
INSTANT REVIEW: Seize the Day
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091920/
Stupid American realism with many assholes and one whiner (Robin Williams). The only good part of this movie is Jerry Stiller.
INSTANT REVIEW: Svidd Neger
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0365810/
my kind of movie. super soundtrack. Presten - Besten!
INSTANT REVIEW: Million Dollar Baby
I'll just say that the climatic boxing match was against an East German former prostitute who fought dirty.
INSTANT REVIEW: Gokudô kyôfu dai-gekijô - Gozu
"what happen?", end of review.
Instant Review: The Aviator
Go watch Citizen Kane.
INSTANT REVIEW: End of Evangelion
Sex.
Instant Review: Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
George Lucas gives up on writing dialog and crafting plots. He filled up the screen with massive CGI and hoped no one would notice.
INSTANT REVIEW: Final Fantasy VII:Advent Children
Shit explodes.
INSTANT REVIEW: Charlie & the Chocolate Factory
candy rocks enough for the movie to rock via association, plus roald dahl roxx
INSTANT REVIEW: Ghost in the Shell
what happen !!
instant review: cry_wolf
No one says "lol is this tom" in the entire movie.
INSTANT REVIEW: Appleseed
somebody set up us the bomb !
INSTANT REVIEW: Appleseed
Appleseed is that thing that has robots and stuff, right?
INSTANT REVIEW: Dare mo shiranai (nobody knows)
long
INSTANT REVIEW: Groove - Somewhat Realistic Rave Movie with Digweed Sounds
INSTANT REVIEW: U2 Rattle and Hum - Where The Streets Have No Name
INSTANT REVIEW: Shakespeare In Love
Joseph Fiennes knows his stuff and Gwynneth Paltrow is steamy.
INSTANT REVIEW: Wallace and Gromit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit
I LOL'd. (May contain nuts.)
INSTANT REVIEW: Sweet November
ZOMG Keanu Reeves can act!
INSTANT REVIEW: Ghost in the Shell
did i miss something?
INSTANT REVIEW: All About Lily Chou-Chou
I couldn't process it all while I was watching. After the screen went black I thought it over and had a moment of enlightenment.
INSTANT REVIEW: Saw
Fucked up shit happens to imperfect people.
INSTANT REVIEW: Audition
HOLY SHIT!!!
INSTANT REVIEW: Batman Begins
Gotham
INSTANT REVIEW: Sweet November
no he can't
INSTANT REVIEW: Aeon Flux
Is nothing fucking sacred?
INSTANT REVIEW: Good Night and Good Luck
Think the "Liberal/Leftist media" line is recent?
INSTANT REVIEW: The Aristocrats
It's VIP Quality!
INSTANT REVIEW: Kings of the Road
We're not gay
INSTANT REVIEW: Christmas In August
Absolutely heart wrenching
INSTANT REVIEW: Blade Runner
Cyberpunk 1980s lol.
INSTANT REVIEW:HEIDI
OMG!!!!!!!!
INSTANT REVIEW: Shopgirl
If I were Steve Martin, I'd probably write and star in a movie where I got to sleep with Claire Danes too.
INSTANT REVIEW: densha otoko
little bitch of a man bitches over a bitch until he gets the bitch
INSTANT REVIEW: Stealing Beauty
sex in toscana
INSTANT REVIEW: Gummo
An ugly kid walks around. The End.
INSTANT REVIEW: Butterfly Effect
Better than I expected
INSTANT REVIEW: Near Dark
I like short-haired pointer dogs.
INSTANT REVIEW: Iden & Tity
The following objectives were successfully completed:
-Rock & Roll all night
-Party every day
INSTANT REVIEW: Suicide Girls (Shimotsuma Monogatari)
Gothic Lolita meets biker chick. In the words of Sam Jackson, you either want to see that, or you don't.
>>53
that's "kamikaze girls" you twit. and it is an excellent movie
>>54
Shit, you're right. That's what I get for having other open tabs... _|￣|○
INSTANT REVIEW: Last Life in the Universe
WTF is this "lady and the tiger" shit? Two hours of fine, fine, movie, ruined by the crappiest ending I've ever seen! Fuck that noise!
correction: "Lady or the Tiger", can't have it both ways
INSTANT REVIEW: Chunking Express
Damn, I wish it was 1994 and I lived in Chunking Mansions.
Christopher Doyle is a master in depicting Hongkong.
(btw Faye Wong is cute)
INSTANT REVIEW: Sin noticias de Dios (USA:Don't tempt me)
Asshole gets both Heaven and Hell trying to get him through the pearly gates. Penelope Cruz plays an agent of Hell, who flirts with the agent of Heaven, played by Victoria Abril. Very good.
INSTANT REVIEW: Egg [ http://www.slowlearner.co.jp/movies/egg/ ]
(comment: seen unsubtitled by someone who does not know japanese nor russian, and thus "fast fwding" in the parts where "nothing was happening")
Delightfully confusing and entertaining mix of creepiness, guy in rubber outfit (the "evil" creature), (visually beautiful) moodsetting scenes and interesting cutting technique.
INSTANT REVIEW: Underworld Evolution
Finally, Kate Beckinsale shows some skin...which she really should have done on the first one.
INSTANT REVIEW: Walk The Line
Johnny Cash was cool. This movie was emo. Buy his greatest hits CD instead.
英語が難しくてテストがダメでした。
英語を覚える方法を教えてください
こんばんは。
応援してます。
みんな、英語うまいね。。。
When the Japanese lid sitting language relies on is chosen to be
overseas software, Japanese is sad .... somehow ..it is... Korean
INSTANT REVIEW: The Tao of Steve
Eliminate your desire.
INSTANT REVIEW: Lorelei, Witch of the Pacific
Now they've done it! They've gone and pissed off the United States!
INSTANT REVIEW: Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters
This doesn't look anything like in the poster, and they wouldn't let me bring in my marijuana that I use for legitimate medical purposes!
INSTANT REVIEW: Mask
Boy's head is shaped like a potato.
Cher's head is also shaped like a potato.
INSTANT REVIEW: Oldboy
Dudes talk in Korean, dudes fight, main dude cuts himself a lot and barks like a dog. Glass breaks. Hugs!
INSTANT REVIEW: Amélie
Your girlfriend will let you get to second base if you watch this with her.
INSTANT REVIEW: Broken (1992)
You may became physically ill and develop a major schizophrenic episode. Passing kidney stones is a more pleasant experience.
INSTANT REVIEW: Fearless (1993)
This movie makes me want to crash a Volvo into a brick wall, it looks like so much fun. I hope you don't have to have Rosie Perez in the car for it work.
INSTANT REVIEW: Koi No Mon
Rocks. Manga. Love. Cosplay. Hideki Anno cameo.
INSTANT REVIEW: Electric Dragon 80000V
Most AWESOME movie ever. Seriously, it's more outright entertaining than anything I've watched for a long while.
INSTANT REVIEW: Ghost Rider
I hope Mark Steven Johnson dies of AIDS.
INSTANT REVIEW: The Man in White
Yakuza, fuck yeah!
INSTANT REVIEW: Musuka
just like trash
INSTANT REVIEW: Saw series/The Hills Have Eyes series
Because real snuff films are illegal.
INSTANT REVIEW: My Sassy Girl
Why can't america do romance films like this?
INSTANT REVIEW: Live Free or Die Hard
Car make helicopter go boom to save America! l33t!!!!
INSTANT REVIEW: Happiness of the Katakuris
Takashi Miike's best film, and unlike most of his work, it's a friggin musical!
INSTANT REVIEW: 2001: A Space Odyssey
Floating spaceships and classical music
INSTANT REVIEW: Las Vegas Story (1952)
Thanks to The Aviator, I knew to expect retro boobs when I saw Howard Hughes' name in the credits. I was not disappointed. Also, Hoagy Carmicheal.
HEBI CHAN image video
INSTANT REVIEW: Fight Club
Fav movie of all time
Instant REVIEW: The Simpsons the Movie
4 episodes in 1 80 minute film
INSTANT REVIEW: Live Free or Die Hard
Manliest movie of the year.
INSTANT REVIEW: 300
There were scarred gimp lesbians in this movie.
INSTANT REVIEW: 300
The dialogue was designed solely to be shouted constantly by annoying teenagers for months to come.
INSTANT REVIEW: Logan's Run
In the 70's, they thought everyone would live in a totalitarian mall. They sure nailed the 80's.
Also 100 GET
INSTANT REVIEW: Any Adam Sandler movie ever
Adam Sandler does funny shit and has a retarded voice.
He falls out with his love interest halfway through the
movie only to win her back in the end.
INSTANT REVIEW: Kite (animu)
sex and attractive hitmen/woman.
INSTANT REVIEW: Wild Zero
/b/ in movie form like visitor q
I wouldn't use the word "funny" to describe Adam Sandler. Maybe "stupid" or even "dumbass", but not funny.
INSTANT REVIEW: Harvey (1950)
Lol Donnie Darko ripoff
>>105
protip: 1950 comes before whenever donnie darko was released
Forbidden Planet
Always read the owners manual before opperating strange alien devices with limited power.
INSTANT REVIEW: Pretty in Pink
Is that the guy from Two and a Half Men?
INSTANT REVIEW: Stranger Than Fiction
Wait, what the fuck's going on? Is the story even going anywhere?
LOOK OUT, A LOT OF REVIEWS.
INSTANT REVIEW: Rush Hour 3
Rush Hour 1 and 2, set in France.
INSTANT REVIEW: Napoleon Dynamite
My friends are assholes. This movie isn't funny, it's shit.
INSTANT REVIEW: 300
Keep the sound on mute, play heavy metal music instead, and fast forward through any parts that feature talking. It makes the movie so much better.
INSTANT REVIEW: FLCL
Sex jokes and deep hidden meanings coated with action, more sex jokes, and crazy shit.
INSTANT REVIEW: Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
See "INSTANT REVIEW: 300".
INSTANT REVIEW: The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
If anything, you'll learn what the anthropic principle is by the end of the series.
INSTANT REVIEW: King Kong
Bestiality.
It was right the first time.
ROCKY 1:
Kinda sorta alright and then awesome when they get to the BOXAN.
ROCKY 2:
Same deal as Rocky 1 except the fight was epic as fuck.
I should watch ROCKY 3 sometime. It's been on my computer for months now.
INSTANT REVIEW: Inland Empire
Random shit thrown together.
INSTANT REVIEW: Die Hard With A Vengeance
Jeremy Irons camps it up as a vaguely German villain who is somehow not a Nazi. Samuel Jackson threatens to shove a lightning bolt up the ass of Bruce Willis, who for his part is Having A Very Bad Day and Gettin' Too Old For This Shit.
INSTANT REVIEW: Rendition
lol suicide bombs and torture wtf
INSTANT REVIEW: Any Tyler Perry Movie
A woman gets beat. Madea comes to the rescue.
INSTANT REVIEW: Team America: World Police
South Park with puppets. Theme song kicks ass.
Instant Review: Boondock Saints
Alcoholic micks rip off every 90's action cliche in the book and make anyone with an IQ below 100 think they've seen the greatest movie ever.
INSTANT REVIEW: Leon
loli + assassin + Gary Oldman = INSTANT WIN
INSTANT REVIEW: The Paycheck
Ben Affleck really is a good looking man. Never really appreciated that until now. Alas, J-Lo kinda made him lame.
INSTANT REVIEW: Marie Antoinette
The Pre-Reincarnated Paris Hilton tells france to eat cake and spends half the movie waiting for the prince to fuck her. Trippy colours and music, non-existant story-line
INSTANT REVIEW: Beowulf
I am the Terror that Flaps in the night.
I am the winged Scourge that pecks at your nigthmares.
I Am Darkwing Duck!
INSTANT REVIEW: Die Hard
Bruce Willis is an average cop who can kill terrorists with ease, yet keeps stepping on glass.
INSTANT REVIEW: THE BIG COMBO
Oh man, Mr. Brown is an awesome asshole.
INSTANT REVIEW: Alpha Dog
15 year-old virgin has a 3-way in a pool with 2 hot chicks, ensuring that he dies happy later that night.
INSTANT REVIEW: Happiness (1998)
Of all the movies I've seen involving pederasty (two), this one is the funniest.
INSTANT REVIEW: Juno
Take Napoleon Dynamite. Instead of a Idahoan loser, take a selfconscious and laid-back Minnesota girl. Instead of a dance contest, take a pregnancy. Instead of lighthearted fluff, take some serious shit she needs to deal with.
That's the movie the director saw in this screenplay. And it wasn't bad. But with a different directory this amazing screenplay could have flowered to life.
INSTANT REVIEW: Hackers
Matthew Lillard was robbed at the Oscars that year.
INSTANT REVIEW: Bridge to Terabithia
Why did'nt you invite her, you HEARTLESS FUCKER. She loved you, you know that don't you?
INSTANT REVIEW: Death Proof
Gah, feet. Feet. FEEEEEEET.
INSTANT REVIEW: Bridge to Terabithia
read the book, then fap to annasphia robb separately for best of both worlds
INSTANT REVIEW: RAMBO
PURE, CONCENTRATED MANLINESS with 2.56 KILLS/MINUTE.
INSTANT REVIEW: CLOVERFIELD
IT'S A CRAB.
Instant review: THE HOST
What a monster movie it is!
Does anyone know where I can find the soundtrack to the movie? I can only find the soundtrack to the show online and it's really frustrating!!!
INSTANT REVIEW: Angst essen Seele auf
Ali's German is very gute!! One of those rare movies which shows all the awful and wonderful parts of love and hides nothing. It won't make you jealous to be single! Also the camera work is superb.
INSTANT REVIEW: Heavy Metal
Hearing John Candy's voice while I watch rotoscoped tits makes me feel all funny inside.
any review for "Jumper"?
INSTANT REVIEW: Jumper
"Man, that Nightcrawler movie was awesome"
>>147 good idea, bad execution.
"hey i seemingly died 8 years ago, wanna go to rome?"
i agree with couch potato. the "jumper" concept was really good however the movie was boring.
INSTANT REVIEW: Phone Booth (2002)
"Who is calling me? How do you know who I am? Did you just fucking shoot that lady? Oh lawd, bean bag guns! Hey, you're right in front of me but I can't do jack shit!" - End movie.
INSTANT REVIEW: Loose Change
Jews Did WTC
Been seeing a lot of movies lately...
Invasion of the Body Snatchers: Good, despite the extreme fiftiesness. The Doctor's girlfriend kind of pissed me off.
Amelie: I could really relate to Amelie's life. Her shyness, her wonder at the world... I just wish I knew where to find a boy in a photobooth.
Hinokio: Awww, cute robot love. <3
INSTANT REVIEW: Suspect Zero
"I'm not really Gandhi, OK?"
INSTANT REVIEW: Battles Without Honor And Humanity
Blarg im ded
INSTANT REVIEW: Sleeping Beauty
Not the "girly" princess movie everybody assumes it to be
INSTANT REVIEW: No Country for Old Men
These kids these days with their drug running and their gruesome psychopathic assassins. I wish my dad was here, he'd know what to do.
INSTANT REVIEW: No Country for Old Men
Not as good as Fargo.
Gee, that really narrows it down, as nearly every movie ever made is not as good as Fargo.
INSTANT REVIEW: doomsday
resident evil + madmax + king author
was only entertaining in laughing at how bad it was. and actually that was pretty entertaining
INSTANT REVIEW: Meet the Spartans
Epic Movie has more class
INSTANT REVIEW: TRANSFORMERS LiveAction
Acting is bad, robots all look alike, hope they never make a second NO WAIT GAAAAAAH
INSTANT REVIEW: Dark City
I like the Matrix better overall, but I prefer this movie's production design, since we never spend a single minute in a "real world" setting that looks like a sewage treatment plant.
INSTANT REVIEW: Total Recall
When I was ten years old this was The Best Movie Ever Made. It still kicks all kind of ass but my tastes have matured. Now, whenever I get the opportunity, I claim the book was better although I've never actually read it.
INSTANT REVIEW: Juno
Teenage pregnancy is a-okay if you have a bunch of 'thrift store' clothes and an impenetrable command of the latest slang!
INSTANT REVIEW: Speed Racer
Kickass car-fu, and a monkey throwing shit.
INSTANT REVIEW: 1408
OMG...weird shit! Why is it snowing? Sketchy oscar-grabbing by John Cusack, absolutely no explanation for anything. LSD required.
INSTANT REVIEW: 1408
OMG...weird shit! Why is it snowing? Sketchy oscar-grabbing by John Cusack, absolutely no explanation for anything. LSD required.
INSTANT REVIEW : Anatomy
great if you like foreign films about people getting turned into wax statues for a secret research society
INSTANT REVIEW: Queen Me
nice if you like to see an over weight girl crying every 10 minutes
INSTANT REVIEW: 13 tzameti
The Real Fight Club
Look it up
I LOVE INSTANT REVIEWS
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
INSTANT REVIEW: The Zeitgeist
Movie makes claims, some are better made than others, people argue on the internet.
INSTANT REVIEW: Cat Soup
Wat
INSTANT REVIEW: Paprika
Best detective film ever for those who don't like detective films
INSTANT REVIEW: bicycle thieves
A kid finds a job that requires a bike, looks for a bike, gets a bike, bike gets stolen. Deep post-war social commentary.
INSTANT REVIEW: La Terra Trema
Movie about the lives of fishermen, who are played by real fishermen.
INSTANT REVIEW: Germany Year Zero
Kid does A LOT OF WALKING and finds random shit in junkyards to sell
INSTANT REVIEW: The Wildbunch
Cowboys kill lots of people. They then get killed by lots of people.
INSTANT REVIEW: Batman: The Dark Knight
WTF GO SEE IT
INSTANT REVIEW: The Dark Knight
Its only now that I'm sad about Heath Ledger's death
INSTANT REVIEW: Hot fuzz
so funny,good temp story
INSTANT REVIEW: Clerks
Life is always shit, but it's funny when the shit is happening to other people. Also, people talk a lot.
INSTANT REVIEW: The Dark Knight
I don't even remember the comics being this good. In fact, I remember barely any comics that were this good.
INSTANT REVIEW: The Machine Girl
Drill bra!
INSTANT REVIEW: I like it hot
Lesbian teenagers are indeed hot!!
INSTANT REVIEW: clerks 2
contains bonus instant review of LOTR
INSTANT REVIEW: The Dark Knight
Best. movie. ever.
INSTANT REVIEW: God Speed You! Black Emperor
I totally want to buy a Kawasaki motorcycle and put a gigantic back seat on it.
instant review: natural born killers
woody harrelson plays his father
INSTANT REVIEW: Apocalypse Now - Redux
Cool color correction
INSTANT REVIEW: The Naked City
Like a really long episode of Law & Order. Decent footage of New York in the 40's though.
INSTANT REVIEW: Clockwork Orange
I didn't see any oranges.
[b]INSTANT REVIEW:[/b] Naked Lunch
I can think of at least two things wrong with that title.
<b>INSTANT REVIEW:</b> Naked Lunch
I can think of at least two things wrong with that title.
spoiler: use asterisks for italic and double asterisks for bold.
**INSTANT REVIEW***: Rabid
Scorpion Tail Zombie Armpit.
test
Instant Review: Pineapple Express
Where are the pineapples? the trains? why are there druggies fighting like wannabe asians?
INSTANT REVIEW: Rebel Without A Cause
Kid becomes a delinquent because his dad wears an apron. I could've sworn there were motorcycles in this one.
INSTANT REVIEW: My Neighbor Toroto
A few kids make some AWESOME friends and make me wish my childhood freinds weren't such jerks.
INSTANT REVIEW: Hellboy 2
Two cool bladed fighting scenes, film overall okay.
INSTANT REVIEW : The Big Lebowski
Anything bad you say is just, like, your opinion, man.
INSTANT REVIEW: Shooter
Involves a lot of shooting.
INSTANT REVIEW: Shoot'em up
Involves a lot of shooting.
INSTANT REVIEW: Cat Soup
''Did you eat all this acid?''
INSTANT REVIEW : Bangkok Dangerous (the FIRST ONE, not the crappy remake!)
It has been done before, but still worth checking out.
>>215 I did.
INSTANT REVIEW: Beautiful [korean movie]
Woman gets raped and loses viriginity. Goes crazy and kills any guy that looks like tha rapist, which is everyone because every guy in korea looks the same.
INSTANT REVIEW: Cat-girl Kiki
Neko-mimi mode!
INSTANT REVIEW: Pretty Maid Cafe
Bad Densha Otoko ripoff with hardly any maids at all. It does have topless drumming though.
INSTANT REVIEW: Chop Shop
A little Hustler kid founds out her Sister is a Whore. The end.
I'd say ~~ Watch MAOU!!
It was really the only drama I liked last season.
And if you really want a silly silly drama that has no complete meaning watch 33Pun Tantei (33 Min Dectective)
sorry wrong place ↑↑
INSTANT REVIEW: Hell Ride
Quentin Tarantino presents "We Blew It, Man" produced by Quentin Tarantino (p.s. holy trinity lol)
INSTANT REVIEW: V For Vendetta
A cool ass guy says a bunch of big words, and blows shit up.
INSTA REVEW: Burn After Reading
Movie makes no sense and takes awhile to build up steam but the ending made it worth it.
ISNTANT REVIEW: Fargo
Oh god wish I didn't go off to masturbate half-way through.
ISNTANT REVIEW: Swept Away
Rape is hot
INSTANT REVIEW: Memento
Oh god how did this get here I am not good with memory
INSTANT REVIEW: Travolti da un insolito destino nell'azzurro mare d'agosto
Man, this film is much better without Madonna. But I still can't masturbate to it at all.
INSTANT REVIEW: Kidulthood
"Hey blood". "Sup Blood". "Safe". puts on hood every fucking time..puts on hood for the second time..yes you are fucking cool,jeezes fucking christ..england and hoods wtf? DO they all speak kingston, they really exagerate. Bad actin
INSTANT REVIEW: Adulthood (sequel)
Walks on street, puts on hood*. Runs of street , puts on hood* He is looking gangsta..puts on hood* (see kidulthood for more hood gangsta time). What'w with all the mean faces..seriously, they all pout and it's so fucking ridiculous. Half of em can't act and the ending showdown i couldn't stop laughing..especially the baseball bat and gun scene (bwahaha!)
Meh, AVOID BOTH.
INSTANT REVIEW: My Mighty Princess
Piece of shit love comedy movie mixed with some FAIIIIL kungfu hustle.
INSTANT REVIEW: Stargate
Stereotypical military types and a nerd go through a hole in space and fight Egyptian Space Nazis.
INSTANT REVIEW: One flew over the cuckoo's nest
"I'm bad. REEEL bad."
"We're all crazy!"
"I WANT MY CIGARETES!!![tears]"
Good acting, creepy as the book.
INSTANT REVIEW: Modern Times
Hi I am Charlie Chaplin! Watch me be lovable.
Awwww.
captcha: loubable
INSTANT REVIEW: 7 Samurai
190 Minutes of pure fucking awesome, sadly interrupted by my friend's brother and his fucking annoying friends who constantly kept saying shit like ''What the fuck is this crap?'' and ''Turn this boring shit off we want to play GTA4''.
Hungry Bitches
One girl shits into a cup. She and another girl eat the shit, then make out. Apparently the first girl had corn for lunch.
10/10
INSTANT REVIEW: Miss Castaway and the Island Girls
Michael Jackson, the bible, and flagrant stupidity combine forces to give you a nail-gun-lobotomy-like experience.
INSTANT REVIEW: Waterworld
Finally, a refreshing break from the unimaginative desert of postapocalyptica. Kevin Costner as a gratingly REAL MANLY MAN.
INSTANT REVIEW: Traitor
Started well, but bam. Cliché Undercover,followed by stupid one side terrorists are evil shit.Meh
INSTANT REVIEW: Milk
bald eagle sheds a single tear
The 60's never ended...
puts on sunglasses
...they just got a lot sexier.
The Who: YEAHHHHHHH!!!!!
INSTANT REVIEW: L.I.E.
Yesssss! I've been waiting so long for my erotic pedophile literature to be made into a film.
INSTANT REVIEW: seven pounds
Oooooh so the seven pounds means Will Smioth gives away seven pounds of body parts when he commits suicide. OOOH I GET IT! Great movie!
INSTANT REVIEW: seven pounds
Will Smith playing poison Jelly fish obsessed retard or troll who in the end via his death poisons/kills one to seven of his stalked victims by the heart-attack destroyed heart, and poisoned bodyparts of his, that he's organ donating to them.
INSTANT REVIEW: seven pounds
DURRRRR! I DONT LIKE ANYTHIN THAT DOESNT HAVE BATMANS INIT!
INSTANT REVIEW: Kisaragi
Reservoir Dogs meets wota-gei.
INSTANT REVIEW: Seven Samurai
Probably one of the most realistic movies i ever seen, beautiful!
INSTANT REVIEW: Babylon AD Unrated (uncut?)
The movie still sucks if it's uncut, and the ending is one of the worst ever
INSTANT REVIEW: Twilight
Features vampires who instead of burning when coming in contact with the sun, sparkle like faggots covered in glitter.
INSTANT REVIEW: Zack and Miri Make A Porno
DUTCH RUDDER
INSTANT REVIEW: Blindness
Japanese guy drives car and goes blind then everyone goes blind. Blind people are sent to a quarantine facility and soon rage war on eachother.
INSTANT REVIEW: Rocknrolla
Anybody want to buy a painting?
INSTANT REVIEW: Cleaner
Samuel L. "MOTHERFUCKING" Jackson cleans crime scenes. The blood looks somewhat tasty.
INSTANT REVIEW: Let the Right One In
A nice Vampire flick from some foreign country, and features a twelve year old girl's muff. Is this movie even legal? Regardless, it's a good movie.
Instant Review: Sakuran
Bright colors, pretty girls, nice soundtrack. I don't know how Anna Tsuchiya makes talking like a hick so sexy.
Instant Review: Defiance
James Bond goes back to the 40s, converts to Judaism and kills a lot of Nazis.
INSTANT REVIEW: Mother, Jugs, And Speed
Bill Cosby drives a hot-rod ambulance. Larry Hagman is a crazy pervert. Raquel Welch is Raquel Welch. Harvey Keitel proves he wasn't always old.
INSTANT REVIEW: Mandingo (1975)
The savage ugly guts of life under slavery. This movie probably couldn't be made today.
INSTANT REVIEW: Charlie Bartlett
Kid in High School becomes kind of a psychiatrist/drug dealer. He goes out with the principal's (played by Robert Downey Jr.) daughter. Stuff happens.
Nice movie. Not too much drama, not too much comedy.
INSTANT REVIEW: Just You And Me, Kid (1979)
Kind of like Gran Torino. Except instead of an old racist, it's an old Vaudeville comedian. And instead of an Asian kid, it's loli Brooke Shields.
INSTANT REVIEW: Eraserhead (1977)
Unhappy guy with a rubber brain. The moral of the story: Babies are filled with oil and cottage cheese.
10/10
INSTANT REVIEW: On Any Sunday (1971)
VVVRRRROOOOM. VROOM VROOM. VROOOOOOM. Very '70s.
INSTANT REVIEW: Dead like me: like after death
Horrible sequel of the brilliant two season cancelled cult series "dead like me". Probably no chance we get a third season after this shit.
INSTANT REVIEW: Jesus Camp
It's astounding to me how well-directed this documentary is. Compare it to ideology-pandering crap like "The End of the World Cult". I'm sort of upset how the careful, unbiased attitude of the directors is so blindly overlooked.
>unbiased
>directors
lol...
INSTANT REVIEW: Jonestown: The Life And Death Of The People's Temple
I could go for some Kool-Aid.
INSTANT REVIEW: Role Model
A really cute movie. Half assholes, half LARPing, all fun.
INSTANT REVIEW: Hounddog
Feel-good family film of the year.
INSTANT REVIEW: The Godfather
I did not care for it.
INSTANT REVIEW: π/PI (1998, Darren Aronofsky)
A guy spends too much times with numbers and goes crazy. Some trippy sequences. Awesome photography.
Would watch again again.
INSTANT REVIEW: Knowing
Nicolas Cage knows when shit happens, and can't do anything to prevent said shit so we can watch the mess on screen.
Plot is like a subpar Shyalaman.
***INSTANT REVIEW:*** Let the Right One In
Swedish loli vampires. This is ALL you need to know. Just trust me on this one.
INSTANT REVIEW: A Snake of June
Blue filters are erotic.
Instant review: YES MAN
Mildly funny. I like the concept, know a few people like that that shut themselves out of life that need to start saying yes and let life happen. Recommended
Instant Review: Ong Bak 2
Films with cliffhanger endings usually annoy me but this just was't good enough for me to care. I wish they would make another movie about the autistic girl instead of Ong Bak 3.
Instant Review: Dragonball Evolution
Really, it wasn't that bad. Especially when you take the time to consider just how awful it could have been. I'll buy it. Goku's character did a great job.
you know what is real ?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4M1mwu64rvg
INSTANT REVIEW: Lady Battle Cop
Robocop wishes he had an earring.
INSTANT REVIEW: A world without thieves
I wanna be THE THIEF!!
INSTANT REVIEW (again): Memories of Matsuko
Tragicomedy at its best!! Probably one of the best japanse movies i have ever seen, really a gem. 10/10 sniff*
INSTANT REVIEW: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005)
Not funny, not interesting, not recommended.
>>283
I would have said "nothing like the book", but actually it would have meant exactly what you said.
INSTANT REVIEW: Fanboys
A simple, hilarious movie that any Star Wars fan can relate to. It features tons of cameos and Star Wars inside jokes. "Don't roll your eyes at me, Admiral Jackbar" sums up the movie.
INSTANT REVIEW: Star Trek (2009)
Four words: Live long and prosper.
INSTANT REVIEW: Dragonball Evolution
Let-down. Storyline was too rushed, no time figure out where they were, let alone develop any empathy for characters. It was just a flurry of characters with the occasional delivery of cleavage.
INSTANT REVIEW: Antique (Korean movie)
A guy opens a cake shop and hires a gay guy to work there. Everyone eats cake.
INSTANT REVIEW: Terminator: Salvation
It was good, until I realised it did absolutely nothing to further the Terminator Storyline.
INSTANT REVIEW: Zeitgeist
Absolute crap
>>290
Actually I would have said "WTF" but still
CAPTCHA: renass
INSTANT REVIEW: Up
good kids movie
INSTANT REVIEW: Big Trouble in Little China
99 minutes of pure, uncut, china white, straight-to-the-vein AWESOME.
INSTANT REVIEW: The Machine Girl
A girl with a fucking machine gun on her arm kills the shit out of everyone.
INSTANT REVIEW: Big Top Pee-Wee
Goddammit he's not supposed to have a sex drive what the fuck
INSTANT REVIEW: Religulous
Guy being interviewed: "I believe in God"
Bill Maher: "AH HA HA LISTEN TO THIS SHIT!"
INSTANT REVIEW: The Good, The Bad, The Weird
Like The Good, The Bad and the Ugly except with Koreans in 1930s Manchuria and not actually much like The Good, The Bad and the Ugly. If I had to choose one part of the title to review it I'd go with The Weird.
INSTANT REVIEW: Moon
Kicks ass. See it if it comes to your neighborhood.
INSTANT REVIEW: The Cove
Higurashi IRL
INSTANT REVIEW: Lesbian Vampire Killers
Contains Lesbian Vampires. And people who kill them. And lots of british absurd humor. Funny movie. Also, NOT porn, sorry. Good surprise overall.
>>300 did not review 300 the movie. I am kinda disappointed, Couch Potato.
INSTANT REVIEW: Videodrome
James Woods with the worst haircut in cinematic history goes batshit insane.
INSTANT REVIEW: District 9
Indie Scifi movie that turns into a poorly written action flick halfway through. Also, Pig Gibs.
INSTANT REVIEW: Adventureland
Emo Boy meets Emo Girl who bangs Married Rockstar secretely who cockblocks Ignorant Emo Boy followed by more cheesy drama and a farfatched happy ending.
INSTANT REVIEW: HANNAH MONTANA the Movie
Do I even need to say it?
INSTANT REVIEW: 2012: The Odyssey
The exemplar of New Age movies. Pure naivete and cheesiness. (Skip it)
INSTANT REVIEW : Timecrimes
Pretty good despite the obvious paradoxes.
casablanca
Studly Bogart helps his Ex escape nazi controlled africa after a SHITLOAD of flashbacks
INSTANT REVIEW: Murder By Death
Frequently stupid. Sparsely humorous. Entirely nonsensical.
...
Brilliant!
INSTANT REVIEW: The Legend of Zorro
They should have called it Everybody Loves Zorro.
[b]INSTANT REVIEW[/b]: At Land (1944)
Nice unless you try to analyse it.
INSTANT REVIEW: Good (2008)
Depressing as fuck. Bad acting.
INSTANT REVIEW: Postmen in the Mountains (那山那人那狗, 1999)
What I expected: The exotic mystery of the Orient.
What I got: A heartwarming tale of a postman's life
INSTANT REVIEW: IZO
Japanese director on acid tries to wrap philosophy in a splatter movie.
INSTANT REVIEW: M
If you don't love this movie you might not even be human.
The 1931 German one, the 1951 American one, or the 2007 Korean drama?
INSTANT REVIEW: Oh, God!
Quaint folksy tale wherein George Burns reads lines off a cue card.
Addendum: When I said James Woods had the worst haircut in cinematic history, it was only because I was unaware John Denver had ever starred in a movie. I now stand corrected.
INSTANT REVIEW: Star Trek
Somehow this didn't trip my nerd rage-o-meter. It may be watered down, but it's not a bad movie.
INSTANT REVIEW: Inglorious Basterds
Jews are so great, Hitler sux XD.
INSTANT REVIEW: Funny People
One of Adam Sandler's better movies. But not as funny as the name implies.
INSTANT REVIEW: Once Upon a Time in the West
I hate westerns, actually I never watched one, find them too boring. But this movie is amazing, completely changes my opinion of westerns.
INSTANT REVIEW: Coraline
Gorgeous visuals, cute characters, but the plot feels like a tech demo, or a video game really. If you liked Avatar you may like this. Main character is quite fappable.
INSTANT REVIEW: Traxx (1988)
You know what I think of your cookies?
<10 second fart>
That's what I think of your cookies!
INSTANT REVIEW: Avatar
I am getting in the habit of writing instant reviews in this thread for movies that everyone has already seen.
INSTANT REVIEW: Where The Wild Things Are (2010)
What the fuck, this is a kid's movie, why are you beating the shit out of each other?