INSTANT REVIEW MOVIE THREAD (479)

1 Name: Couch Potato 05/01/29(Sat)10:54 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW : Closer

A movie about 4 people who know how to cheat on each other.

Natalie Portman still sucks at acting.

2 Name: hk0!0khonVgaHI 05/02/01(Tue)23:59 ID:kFnZIzkp

INSTANT REVIEW: Million Dollar Baby

A great film written and directed Clint Eastwood, starring Clint Eastwood, about how great Clint Eastwood is.

Clorox bleach also plays a pivotal role.

3 Name: Couch Potato 05/02/03(Thu)18:10 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Emma

Two hours of silly female drama and romance and not one single sex scene with Gwyneth Paltrow.

A rip-off!

4 Name: Kankneet 05/02/06(Sun)15:36 ID:XUEu7YWn

INSTANT REVIEW: The Princess Bride

The sort of film people will quote eighteen years after it hit the theatres. Required viewing for anyone wo wants to know too much about pop culture.

5 Name: Kankneet 05/02/07(Mon)13:04 ID:XUEu7YWn

Oh, yeah, pretty forgettable as a film.

6 Name: Couch Potato 05/02/07(Mon)19:53 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Shaft

Black dude walks through a mediocre film and makes a lot of snappy remarks on racism issues.

7 Name: !WAHa.06x36 05/02/08(Tue)14:58 ID:XVF/quly

>>6

Was that the original or the remake?

INSTANT REVIEW: Shaft, the original

The setup for the big climax got too distracting so let's just shoot everybody and call it day!

8 Name: bubu!bUBu/A.ra6 05/02/09(Wed)02:32 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Machssomim (Checkpoint)

A guy sets a camera to RECORD and does nothing else, tsahal and palestinians collide, and people who never knew shit all about the middle east conflict but still waffle about it nonstop should be obligated to shut the hell up and watch it. In the end, neither tsahal nor palestijns are demonized nor glorified, but in the end you might have gained some insight and even understanding.

9 Name: Couch Potato 05/02/11(Fri)19:28 ID:6tWLXo1T

INSTANT REVIEW: Utena, Adolescence Of

LIFE IS SYMBOLISM.

10 Name: Couch Potato 05/02/20(Sun)12:54 ID:7zdmDNwf

INSTANT REVIEW: Battle Royale 2

They take the concept from BR1, add some stupid rules and removes the deep plot!

11 Name: Couch Potato 05/02/21(Mon)11:52 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Independence Day

Mars Attacks was better and that one sucked, too.

12 Name: Couch Potato 2005-03-04 19:06 ID:Heaven

>>8

tl;dr

13 Name: bubu!bUBu/A.ra6 2005-03-06 22:19 ID:Heaven

the common goldfish carassius auratus has an attention span of a full nine seconds

INSTANT REVIEW: Waking Life
better title: Ruined By Rotoscope.

14 Name: Couch Potato 2005-03-23 22:10 ID:fMUeBJii

INSTANT REVIEW: Seize the Day
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091920/
Stupid American realism with many assholes and one whiner (Robin Williams). The only good part of this movie is Jerry Stiller.

15 Name: bubu!bUBu/A.ra6 2005-03-24 22:57 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Svidd Neger
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0365810/
my kind of movie. super soundtrack. Presten - Besten!

16 Name: Couch Potato 2005-03-28 20:38 ID:5KkXahZN

INSTANT REVIEW: Million Dollar Baby

I'll just say that the climatic boxing match was against an East German former prostitute who fought dirty.

17 Name: Couch Potato 2005-04-01 22:40 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Gokudô kyôfu dai-gekijô - Gozu
"what happen?", end of review.

18 Name: Kankneet 2005-04-19 00:38 ID:5KkXahZN

Instant Review: The Aviator

Go watch Citizen Kane.

19 Name: facek!DSv3yyjLCE 2005-04-28 14:34 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: End of Evangelion

Sex.

20 Name: Couch Potato 2005-09-14 01:21 ID:nvEzXoeC

Instant Review: Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

George Lucas gives up on writing dialog and crafting plots. He filled up the screen with massive CGI and hoped no one would notice.

21 Name: Couch Potato 2005-09-14 06:12 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Final Fantasy VII:Advent Children

Shit explodes.

22 Name: Couch Potato 2005-09-16 02:24 ID:qzndub3S

INSTANT REVIEW: Charlie & the Chocolate Factory

candy rocks enough for the movie to rock via association, plus roald dahl roxx

23 Name: Couch Potato 2005-10-14 22:01 ID:edO7Z2Ag

INSTANT REVIEW: Ghost in the Shell

what happen !!

24 Name: Couch Potato 2005-10-16 06:05 ID:Heaven

instant review: cry_wolf

No one says "lol is this tom" in the entire movie.

25 Name: Couch Potato 2005-10-21 20:29 ID:tJ5JQD70

INSTANT REVIEW: Appleseed

somebody set up us the bomb !

26 Name: Couch Potato 2005-10-22 14:16 ID:tSB3Xkms

INSTANT REVIEW: Appleseed

Appleseed is that thing that has robots and stuff, right?

27 Name: Couch Potato 2005-10-22 14:17 ID:RASx+m6i

INSTANT REVIEW: Dare mo shiranai (nobody knows)

long

28 Name: Couch Potato 2005-10-24 01:41 ID:Vll5tmND

INSTANT REVIEW: Groove - Somewhat Realistic Rave Movie with Digweed Sounds

29 Name: Couch Potato 2005-10-24 01:44 ID:Vll5tmND

INSTANT REVIEW: U2 Rattle and Hum - Where The Streets Have No Name

30 Name: Couch Potato 2005-10-28 08:03 ID:Vll5tmND

INSTANT REVIEW: Shakespeare In Love

Joseph Fiennes knows his stuff and Gwynneth Paltrow is steamy.

31 Name: Beetalogist 2005-10-31 04:07 ID:h3KGz3Ec

INSTANT REVIEW: Wallace and Gromit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit

I LOL'd. (May contain nuts.)

32 Name: Couch Potato 2005-11-02 19:51 ID:0VOUKkQZ

INSTANT REVIEW: Sweet November
ZOMG Keanu Reeves can act!

33 Name: yuri!sWV30Xl.cc 2005-11-17 22:38 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Ghost in the Shell

did i miss something?

34 Name: Couch Potato 2005-11-19 05:24 ID:L4UeGDNG

INSTANT REVIEW: All About Lily Chou-Chou

I couldn't process it all while I was watching. After the screen went black I thought it over and had a moment of enlightenment.

35 Name: Couch Potato 2005-11-19 15:26 ID:1lxZI+9R

INSTANT REVIEW: Saw

Fucked up shit happens to imperfect people.

36 Name: Couch Potato 2005-11-19 15:57 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Audition

HOLY SHIT!!!

37 Name: Couch Potato 2005-12-05 08:57 ID:Qi2VSxba

INSTANT REVIEW: Batman Begins

Gotham

38 Name: Couch Potato 2005-12-05 17:06 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Sweet November
no he can't

39 Name: Couch Potato 2005-12-07 05:30 ID:R0kSWp+i

INSTANT REVIEW: Aeon Flux

Is nothing fucking sacred?

40 Name: Couch Potato 2005-12-13 18:47 ID:1lxZI+9R

INSTANT REVIEW: Good Night and Good Luck

Think the "Liberal/Leftist media" line is recent?

41 Name: Couch Potato 2005-12-15 05:25 ID:JN4IG0xc

INSTANT REVIEW: The Aristocrats

It's VIP Quality!

42 Name: Couch Potato 2005-12-16 05:54 ID:4piXu4wY

INSTANT REVIEW: Kings of the Road

We're not gay

43 Name: Couch Potato 2005-12-26 06:59 ID:68rvkTgj

INSTANT REVIEW: Christmas In August

Absolutely heart wrenching

44 Name: Couch Potato 2005-12-26 15:50 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Blade Runner

Cyberpunk 1980s lol.

45 Name: Couch Potato 2005-12-27 22:57 ID:tvp1sdEi

INSTANT REVIEW:HEIDI
OMG!!!!!!!!

46 Name: Couch Potato 2006-01-02 22:52 ID:FEQEjtaZ

INSTANT REVIEW: Shopgirl

If I were Steve Martin, I'd probably write and star in a movie where I got to sleep with Claire Danes too.

47 Name: Mr. Anderson 2006-01-05 04:31 ID:bHxGkciC

INSTANT REVIEW: densha otoko

little bitch of a man bitches over a bitch until he gets the bitch

48 Name: Couch Potato 2006-01-11 15:05 ID:OTdfj4g1

INSTANT REVIEW: Stealing Beauty

sex in toscana

49 Name: Couch Potato 2006-01-14 21:04 ID:cjgSNUvC

INSTANT REVIEW: Gummo

An ugly kid walks around. The End.

50 Name: Couch Potato 2006-01-15 06:16 ID:nC155Q7H

INSTANT REVIEW: Butterfly Effect

Better than I expected

51 Name: Couch Potato 2006-01-16 07:37 ID:OBS1lZVF

INSTANT REVIEW: Near Dark

I like short-haired pointer dogs.

52 Name: Couch Potato 2006-01-19 05:10 ID:FEQEjtaZ

INSTANT REVIEW: Iden & Tity

The following objectives were successfully completed:
-Rock & Roll all night
-Party every day

53 Name: Couch Potato 2006-01-19 19:51 ID:FEQEjtaZ

INSTANT REVIEW: Suicide Girls (Shimotsuma Monogatari)

Gothic Lolita meets biker chick. In the words of Sam Jackson, you either want to see that, or you don't.

54 Name: Couch Potato 2006-01-21 17:05 ID:Heaven

>>53
that's "kamikaze girls" you twit. and it is an excellent movie

55 Name: Couch Potato 2006-01-21 17:26 ID:Heaven

>>54
Shit, you're right. That's what I get for having other open tabs... _| ̄|○

56 Name: Couch Potato 2006-01-26 03:59 ID:HsDGkw02

INSTANT REVIEW: Last Life in the Universe

WTF is this "lady and the tiger" shit? Two hours of fine, fine, movie, ruined by the crappiest ending I've ever seen! Fuck that noise!

57 Name: Couch Potato 2006-01-26 04:04 ID:HsDGkw02

correction: "Lady or the Tiger", can't have it both ways

58 Name: Couch Potato 2006-01-29 03:44 ID:wbg6998p

INSTANT REVIEW: Chunking Express

Damn, I wish it was 1994 and I lived in Chunking Mansions.
Christopher Doyle is a master in depicting Hongkong.
(btw Faye Wong is cute)

59 Name: Couch Potato 2006-02-01 04:38 ID:1lxZI+9R

INSTANT REVIEW: Sin noticias de Dios (USA:Don't tempt me)

Asshole gets both Heaven and Hell trying to get him through the pearly gates. Penelope Cruz plays an agent of Hell, who flirts with the agent of Heaven, played by Victoria Abril. Very good.

60 Name: Couch Potato 2006-02-14 08:12 ID:0pR2ClQY

INSTANT REVIEW: Egg [ http://www.slowlearner.co.jp/movies/egg/ ]

(comment: seen unsubtitled by someone who does not know japanese nor russian, and thus "fast fwding" in the parts where "nothing was happening")
Delightfully confusing and entertaining mix of creepiness, guy in rubber outfit (the "evil" creature), (visually beautiful) moodsetting scenes and interesting cutting technique.

61 Name: Couch Potato 2006-02-15 18:55 ID:zyNX/3QN

INSTANT REVIEW: Underworld Evolution

Finally, Kate Beckinsale shows some skin...which she really should have done on the first one.

62 Name: Couch Potato 2006-02-28 01:42 ID:FEQEjtaZ

INSTANT REVIEW: Walk The Line

Johnny Cash was cool. This movie was emo. Buy his greatest hits CD instead.

63 Name: Couch Potato 2006-02-28 06:41 ID:EoqF7Chn

英語が難しくてテストがダメでした。
英語を覚える方法を教えてください

64 Name: sage : 2006-02-28 20:37 ID:zIqFwIvF

>>63
No.

65 Name: ういうい : 2006-03-04 05:20 ID:lESHSz5R

こんばんは。
応援してます。

みんな、英語うまいね。。。

66 Name: ういうい : 2006-03-04 05:22 ID:lESHSz5R

When the Japanese lid sitting language relies on is chosen to be
overseas software, Japanese is sad .... somehow ..it is... Korean

67 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-04-07 01:57 ID:LffzSIZv

INSTANT REVIEW: The Tao of Steve

Eliminate your desire.

68 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-04-11 00:13 ID:LffzSIZv

INSTANT REVIEW: Lorelei, Witch of the Pacific

Now they've done it! They've gone and pissed off the United States!

69 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-04-11 04:18 ID:2END/MwE

INSTANT REVIEW: Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters

This doesn't look anything like in the poster, and they wouldn't let me bring in my marijuana that I use for legitimate medical purposes!

70 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-04-11 04:27 ID:2END/MwE

INSTANT REVIEW: Mask

Boy's head is shaped like a potato.
Cher's head is also shaped like a potato.

71 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-04-12 03:43 ID:WPunuEY1

INSTANT REVIEW: Oldboy

Dudes talk in Korean, dudes fight, main dude cuts himself a lot and barks like a dog. Glass breaks. Hugs!

72 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-04-12 04:19 ID:2END/MwE

INSTANT REVIEW: Amélie

Your girlfriend will let you get to second base if you watch this with her.

73 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-04-14 23:47 ID:HwQXLv0U

INSTANT REVIEW: Thunder Ninja Kids

What the fuck was THAT

74 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-04-15 19:08 ID:2END/MwE

INSTANT REVIEW: Broken (1992)

You may became physically ill and develop a major schizophrenic episode. Passing kidney stones is a more pleasant experience.

75 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-04-17 03:00 ID:LffzSIZv

INSTANT REVIEW: Fearless (1993)

This movie makes me want to crash a Volvo into a brick wall, it looks like so much fun. I hope you don't have to have Rosie Perez in the car for it work.

76 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-04-29 18:54 ID:LffzSIZv

INSTANT REVIEW: Koi No Mon

Rocks. Manga. Love. Cosplay. Hideki Anno cameo.

77 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-04-30 16:29 ID:SM8mCpTh

INSTANT REVIEW: Electric Dragon 80000V

Most AWESOME movie ever. Seriously, it's more outright entertaining than anything I've watched for a long while.

78 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-06-24 23:56 ID:ovXa/RJ2

INSTANT REVIEW: Ghost Rider

I hope Mark Steven Johnson dies of AIDS.

79 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-06-25 00:07 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: The Man in White

Yakuza, fuck yeah!

80 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-06-25 13:24 ID:Xiv4J+Pw

INSTANT REVIEW: Musuka

just like trash

81 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-07-26 08:27 ID:9ZTmh+bS

INSTANT REVIEW: Saw series/The Hills Have Eyes series

Because real snuff films are illegal.

82 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-07-30 06:03 ID:PadaW6Lc

INSTANT REVIEW: My Sassy Girl

Why can't america do romance films like this?

83 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-01 04:04 ID:tHhHckJ7

INSTANT REVIEW: Live Free or Die Hard
Car make helicopter go boom to save America! l33t!!!!

84 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-01 08:45 ID:9/TGCasQ

INSTANT REVIEW: Happiness of the Katakuris

Takashi Miike's best film, and unlike most of his work, it's a friggin musical!

85 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-04 04:46 ID:ggUKQ0OQ

INSTANT REVIEW: 2001: A Space Odyssey

Floating spaceships and classical music

86 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-06 04:26 ID:oRDToeeB

>>85

Also, SPACE BABY!

87 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-08 00:08 ID:4yXbMyUq

INSTANT REVIEW: Las Vegas Story (1952)

Thanks to The Aviator, I knew to expect retro boobs when I saw Howard Hughes' name in the credits. I was not disappointed. Also, Hoagy Carmicheal.

88 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-08 00:10 ID:EscmMm0U

89 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-08 07:20 ID:WYGDqVmc

INSTANT REVIEW: Fight Club

Fav movie of all time

90 Post deleted by moderator.

91 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-09 12:19 ID:sD6devQc

Instant REVIEW: The Simpsons the Movie

4 episodes in 1 80 minute film

92 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-10 03:13 ID:I6QXW9tf

>>91
Felt like 20 minutes to me.

93 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-10 03:17 ID:I6QXW9tf

INSTANT REVIEW: 1408

Silent Hill: The Room

94 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-10 15:24 ID:/vmpeGBA

>>84
also unlike most of his work, it's actually good!
>>92
is that a good thing or a bad thing?

95 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-11 01:12 ID:I6QXW9tf

>>94
Both

96 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-12 22:47 ID:5k2fA1bn

INSTANT REVIEW: Ghostbustars!!

You think it was going to be creepy. Totally Funny and awesome. Thank you gods for the 80's.

97 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-13 02:56 ID:IJgfNPns

INSTANT REVIEW: Live Free or Die Hard

Manliest movie of the year.

98 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-13 06:44 ID:UCiS0BCz

INSTANT REVIEW: 300

There were scarred gimp lesbians in this movie.

99 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-14 17:06 ID:V5JPjjGb

INSTANT REVIEW: 300

The dialogue was designed solely to be shouted constantly by annoying teenagers for months to come.

100 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-19 06:28 ID:4yXbMyUq

INSTANT REVIEW: Logan's Run

In the 70's, they thought everyone would live in a totalitarian mall. They sure nailed the 80's.

Also 100 GET

101 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-20 01:18 ID:X5qz/2YW

INSTANT REVIEW: Any Adam Sandler movie ever

Adam Sandler does funny shit and has a retarded voice.

He falls out with his love interest halfway through the
movie only to win her back in the end.

102 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-20 16:32 ID:5t+lkfCP

INSTANT REVIEW: Kite (animu)

sex and attractive hitmen/woman.

103 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-23 03:03 ID:PadaW6Lc

INSTANT REVIEW: Wild Zero

/b/ in movie form like visitor q

104 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-08-26 01:28 ID:Heaven

>>101

I wouldn't use the word "funny" to describe Adam Sandler. Maybe "stupid" or even "dumbass", but not funny.

105 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-09-29 20:21 ID:4yXbMyUq

INSTANT REVIEW: Harvey (1950)

Lol Donnie Darko ripoff

106 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-09-30 01:16 ID:Heaven

>>105
protip: 1950 comes before whenever donnie darko was released

107 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-09-30 13:31 ID:mteqpKSK

Forbidden Planet

Always read the owners manual before opperating strange alien devices with limited power.

108 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-10-03 10:14 ID:hqmPopdS

INSTANT REVIEW: Pretty in Pink

Is that the guy from Two and a Half Men?

109 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-10-03 15:46 ID:fm1GY39l

INSTANT REVIEW: Stranger Than Fiction

Wait, what the fuck's going on? Is the story even going anywhere?

110 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-10-03 16:02 ID:Heaven

LOOK OUT, A LOT OF REVIEWS.

INSTANT REVIEW: Rush Hour 3

Rush Hour 1 and 2, set in France.

INSTANT REVIEW: Napoleon Dynamite

My friends are assholes. This movie isn't funny, it's shit.

INSTANT REVIEW: 300

Keep the sound on mute, play heavy metal music instead, and fast forward through any parts that feature talking. It makes the movie so much better.

INSTANT REVIEW: FLCL

Sex jokes and deep hidden meanings coated with action, more sex jokes, and crazy shit.

INSTANT REVIEW: Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children

See "INSTANT REVIEW: 300".

111 Post deleted by moderator.

112 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-10-15 10:11 ID:XkmusiJC

INSTANT REVIEW: The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

If anything, you'll learn what the anthropic principle is by the end of the series.

113 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-10-17 14:57 ID:fm1GY39l

INSTANT REVIEW: King Kong

Bestiality.

114 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-10-17 14:57 ID:Heaven

>>113

>Beastiality.

My mistake.

115 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-10-17 22:38 ID:2END/MwE

It was right the first time.

116 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-10-21 04:32 ID:EVHLecbx

ROCKY 1:
Kinda sorta alright and then awesome when they get to the BOXAN.

ROCKY 2:
Same deal as Rocky 1 except the fight was epic as fuck.

I should watch ROCKY 3 sometime. It's been on my computer for months now.

117 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-10-23 01:19 ID:lSiEe9vq

INSTANT REVIEW: Inland Empire

Random shit thrown together.

118 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-10-23 05:37 ID:4yXbMyUq

INSTANT REVIEW: Die Hard With A Vengeance

Jeremy Irons camps it up as a vaguely German villain who is somehow not a Nazi. Samuel Jackson threatens to shove a lightning bolt up the ass of Bruce Willis, who for his part is Having A Very Bad Day and Gettin' Too Old For This Shit.

119 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-10-24 23:11 ID:4XsSd8/b

INSTANT REVIEW: Rendition

lol suicide bombs and torture wtf

120 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-10-25 15:11 ID:fm1GY39l

INSTANT REVIEW: Any Tyler Perry Movie

A woman gets beat. Madea comes to the rescue.

121 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-10-29 14:58 ID:fm1GY39l

INSTANT REVIEW: Team America: World Police

South Park with puppets. Theme song kicks ass.

122 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-10-31 06:30 ID:UEi/ZRyY

Instant Review: Boondock Saints

Alcoholic micks rip off every 90's action cliche in the book and make anyone with an IQ below 100 think they've seen the greatest movie ever.

123 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-11-15 13:57 ID:hqmPopdS

INSTANT REVIEW: Leon

loli + assassin + Gary Oldman = INSTANT WIN

124 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-11-16 14:52 ID:bTzaZI6n

INSTANT REVIEW: The Paycheck

Ben Affleck really is a good looking man. Never really appreciated that until now. Alas, J-Lo kinda made him lame.

125 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-11-16 20:12 ID:8V7cG3iX

INSTANT REVIEW: Marie Antoinette
The Pre-Reincarnated Paris Hilton tells france to eat cake and spends half the movie waiting for the prince to fuck her. Trippy colours and music, non-existant story-line

126 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-11-28 10:36 ID:hqmPopdS

INSTANT REVIEW: Beowulf
I am the Terror that Flaps in the night.
I am the winged Scourge that pecks at your nigthmares.
I Am Darkwing Duck!

127 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-11-30 19:37 ID:j8ywJVEz

>>126
Darkwing Duck is a fucking pimp

128 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-12-03 18:19 ID:FDXP6vgN

INSTANT REVIEW: Die Hard
Bruce Willis is an average cop who can kill terrorists with ease, yet keeps stepping on glass.

129 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-12-04 11:29 ID:6+MAfwWo

>>126 I am the Terror that faps in the night.

130 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-12-05 06:40 ID:feQrr6e0

INSTANT REVIEW: THE BIG COMBO

Oh man, Mr. Brown is an awesome asshole.

131 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-12-10 22:55 ID:w4JaUcDg

INSTANT REVIEW: Alpha Dog

15 year-old virgin has a 3-way in a pool with 2 hot chicks, ensuring that he dies happy later that night.

132 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-12-14 23:52 ID:vvQAnsfC

INSTANT REVIEW: Happiness (1998)

Of all the movies I've seen involving pederasty (two), this one is the funniest.

133 Post deleted.

134 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-12-17 04:51 ID:8rHeXGMv

INSTANT REVIEW: Juno

Take Napoleon Dynamite. Instead of a Idahoan loser, take a selfconscious and laid-back Minnesota girl. Instead of a dance contest, take a pregnancy. Instead of lighthearted fluff, take some serious shit she needs to deal with.

That's the movie the director saw in this screenplay. And it wasn't bad. But with a different directory this amazing screenplay could have flowered to life.

135 Name: Couch Potato : 2007-12-31 19:50 ID:IIyshfQc

INSTANT REVIEW: Hackers

Matthew Lillard was robbed at the Oscars that year.

136 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-01-01 00:41 ID:fx5C6npo

INSTANT REVIEW: Bridge to Terabithia

Why did'nt you invite her, you HEARTLESS FUCKER. She loved you, you know that don't you?

137 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-01-12 20:41 ID:+o3b3wSz

INSTANT REVIEW: Death Proof

Gah, feet. Feet. FEEEEEEET.

138 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-01-14 19:37 ID:nHV4BgIw

INSTANT REVIEW: Bridge to Terabithia

read the book, then fap to annasphia robb separately for best of both worlds

139 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-01-27 02:43 ID:brhL6Ich

INSTANT REVIEW: RAMBO
PURE, CONCENTRATED MANLINESS with 2.56 KILLS/MINUTE.

140 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-01-28 01:42 ID:wy8UZjSL

INSTANT REVIEW: CLOVERFIELD

IT'S A CRAB.

141 Name: Mr. Triple Shogun : 2008-01-28 09:36 ID:px6YcTOk

Instant review: THE HOST

What a monster movie it is!

142 Post deleted.

143 Name: Monzika : 2008-02-04 00:26 ID:y+o+VP8n

Does anyone know where I can find the soundtrack to the movie? I can only find the soundtrack to the show online and it's really frustrating!!!

144 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-02-11 05:19 ID:V1woGdFj

INSTANT REVIEW: Angst essen Seele auf

Ali's German is very gute!! One of those rare movies which shows all the awful and wonderful parts of love and hides nothing. It won't make you jealous to be single! Also the camera work is superb.

145 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-02-13 20:43 ID:0uCHgxrC

INSTANT REVIEW: Heavy Metal

Hearing John Candy's voice while I watch rotoscoped tits makes me feel all funny inside.

146 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-02-17 08:51 ID:/3Slou9F

any review for "Jumper"?

147 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-02-17 21:01 ID:uUFuxWA3

INSTANT REVIEW: Jumper

"Man, that Nightcrawler movie was awesome"

148 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-02-20 17:24 ID:W+/3qLja

>>147 good idea, bad execution.
"hey i seemingly died 8 years ago, wanna go to rome?"

149 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-02-21 14:32 ID:NKYgVP+N

i agree with couch potato. the "jumper" concept was really good however the movie was boring.

151 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-02-21 16:36 ID:ZMySu8e0

INSTANT REVIEW: Phone Booth (2002)

"Who is calling me? How do you know who I am? Did you just fucking shoot that lady? Oh lawd, bean bag guns! Hey, you're right in front of me but I can't do jack shit!" - End movie.

152 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-02-22 05:01 ID:vvQAnsfC

INSTANT REVIEW: Loose Change

Jews Did WTC

153 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-02-26 06:55 ID:AnntehUE

Been seeing a lot of movies lately...

Invasion of the Body Snatchers: Good, despite the extreme fiftiesness. The Doctor's girlfriend kind of pissed me off.

Amelie: I could really relate to Amelie's life. Her shyness, her wonder at the world... I just wish I knew where to find a boy in a photobooth.

Hinokio: Awww, cute robot love. <3

154 Name: fds : 2008-02-27 05:10 ID:DnCPaGJq

155 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-02-29 10:11 ID:9ATDR6zR

INSTANT REVIEW: Suspect Zero

"I'm not really Gandhi, OK?"

156 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-03-11 22:17 ID:9PNsWAfZ

INSTANT REVIEW: Battles Without Honor And Humanity

Blarg im ded

157 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-03-11 23:38 ID:eWGVAKUU

INSTANT REVIEW: Sleeping Beauty
Not the "girly" princess movie everybody assumes it to be

158 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-03-20 01:47 ID:uRQwnNce

INSTANT REVIEW: 300
Men in their underwear killing everything that moves. Not bad.

159 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-03-20 04:43 ID:NFEhbewD

INSTANT REVIEW: No Country for Old Men

These kids these days with their drug running and their gruesome psychopathic assassins. I wish my dad was here, he'd know what to do.

160 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-03-24 10:35 ID:0XQO2bC4

INSTANT REVIEW: No Country for Old Men

Not as good as Fargo.

161 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-03-24 10:58 ID:Heaven

Gee, that really narrows it down, as nearly every movie ever made is not as good as Fargo.

162 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-03-30 13:25 ID:YtiB1osc

INSTANT REVIEW: doomsday

resident evil + madmax + king author
was only entertaining in laughing at how bad it was. and actually that was pretty entertaining

163 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-03-31 09:17 ID:aDYAwPve

INSTANT REVIEW: Meet the Spartans

Epic Movie has more class

164 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-04-11 10:43 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: TRANSFORMERS LiveAction

Acting is bad, robots all look alike, hope they never make a second NO WAIT GAAAAAAH

165 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-04-22 01:04 ID:kfFz1LFy

INSTANT REVIEW: Dark City

I like the Matrix better overall, but I prefer this movie's production design, since we never spend a single minute in a "real world" setting that looks like a sewage treatment plant.

166 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-04-26 14:19 ID:vvQAnsfC

INSTANT REVIEW: Total Recall

When I was ten years old this was The Best Movie Ever Made. It still kicks all kind of ass but my tastes have matured. Now, whenever I get the opportunity, I claim the book was better although I've never actually read it.

167 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-04-26 15:12 ID:dMYt7twK

INSTANT REVIEW: Alien
Great movie. Lots of action and memorable events.

168 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-05-05 19:03 ID:cx2GvUV7

INSTANT REVIEW: Juno

Teenage pregnancy is a-okay if you have a bunch of 'thrift store' clothes and an impenetrable command of the latest slang!

169 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-05-08 19:06 ID:H9XsE4ZM

170 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-05-12 20:15 ID:FDXP6vgN

INSTANT REVIEW: Iron Man
The ideal American builds a metal suit and almost kisses his employee.

171 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-05-12 23:59 ID:4FEjgmoC

INSTANT REVIEW: Speed Racer

Kickass car-fu, and a monkey throwing shit.

172 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-06-08 04:15 ID:sPmlFTI5

INSTANT REVIEW: 1408
OMG...weird shit! Why is it snowing? Sketchy oscar-grabbing by John Cusack, absolutely no explanation for anything. LSD required.

173 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-06-08 04:18 ID:sPmlFTI5

INSTANT REVIEW: 1408
OMG...weird shit! Why is it snowing? Sketchy oscar-grabbing by John Cusack, absolutely no explanation for anything. LSD required.

174 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-06-08 06:36 ID:nECKQqOX

INSTANT REVIEW : Anatomy

great if you like foreign films about people getting turned into wax statues for a secret research society

175 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-06-08 17:42 ID:nECKQqOX

INSTANT REVIEW: Queen Me

nice if you like to see an over weight girl crying every 10 minutes

176 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-06-10 00:12 ID:EhYa8enS

INSTANT REVIEW: 13 tzameti

The Real Fight Club

177 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-06-10 01:54 ID:sPmlFTI5

Look it up

178 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-06-12 06:28 ID:llbSatvJ

I LOVE INSTANT REVIEWS

179 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-06-15 23:02 ID:PXjX7+Il

WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

180 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-07-15 11:02 ID:kM6CLnrd

INSTANT REVIEW: The Zeitgeist

Movie makes claims, some are better made than others, people argue on the internet.

181 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-07-15 11:03 ID:kM6CLnrd

INSTANT REVIEW: Cat Soup

Wat

182 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-07-15 11:04 ID:k8zceJeo

INSTANT REVIEW: Paprika

Best detective film ever for those who don't like detective films

183 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-07-15 11:16 ID:kM6CLnrd

INSTANT REVIEW: bicycle thieves

A kid finds a job that requires a bike, looks for a bike, gets a bike, bike gets stolen. Deep post-war social commentary.

184 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-07-15 11:18 ID:+LLirk5I

INSTANT REVIEW: La Terra Trema

Movie about the lives of fishermen, who are played by real fishermen.

185 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-07-15 11:18 ID:+LLirk5I

INSTANT REVIEW: Germany Year Zero

Kid does A LOT OF WALKING and finds random shit in junkyards to sell

186 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-07-15 11:25 ID:+LLirk5I

INSTANT REVIEW: The Wildbunch

Cowboys kill lots of people. They then get killed by lots of people.

187 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-07-18 11:14 ID:Lkum7xSQ

INSTANT REVIEW: Batman: The Dark Knight

WTF GO SEE IT

188 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-07-19 03:57 ID:dplxThMy

INSTANT REVIEW: The Dark Knight
Its only now that I'm sad about Heath Ledger's death

189 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-07-19 14:23 ID:PmenWPYL

INSTANT REVIEW: Hot fuzz
so funny,good temp story

190 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-07-21 21:24 ID:v/98IGER

INSTANT REVIEW: Clerks
Life is always shit, but it's funny when the shit is happening to other people. Also, people talk a lot.

191 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-07-24 15:59 ID:v/98IGER

INSTANT REVIEW: The Dark Knight
I don't even remember the comics being this good. In fact, I remember barely any comics that were this good.

192 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-07-24 19:15 ID:w51MXUdB

INSTANT REVIEW: The Machine Girl

Drill bra!

193 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-07-24 23:57 ID:U4NEdhLC

INSTANT REVIEW: I like it hot

Lesbian teenagers are indeed hot!!

194 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-07-25 03:55 ID:YtiB1osc

INSTANT REVIEW: clerks 2

contains bonus instant review of LOTR

195 Name: FiRez : 2008-07-27 05:03 ID:AdJUKp5X

INSTANT REVIEW: The Dark Knight

Best. movie. ever.

196 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-07-27 19:26 ID:g/r7XQ1X

>>192

that movie, shit all over.

197 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-07-27 21:45 ID:oPpBggXR

INSTANT REVIEW: God Speed You! Black Emperor

I totally want to buy a Kawasaki motorcycle and put a gigantic back seat on it.

198 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-07-27 22:17 ID:1YOEtAnR

instant review: natural born killers

woody harrelson plays his father

199 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-07-29 16:26 ID:rSLd8T6U

INSTANT REVIEW: Apocalypse Now - Redux
Cool color correction

200 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-08-08 02:06 ID:pApa9gq6

INSTANT REVIEW: The Naked City

Like a really long episode of Law & Order. Decent footage of New York in the 40's though.

201 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-08-08 19:56 ID:Jvxn4RO4

INSTANT REVIEW: Clockwork Orange

I didn't see any oranges.

202 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-08-09 09:25 ID:j2FukL7a

[b]INSTANT REVIEW:[/b] Naked Lunch

I can think of at least two things wrong with that title.

203 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-08-10 09:43 ID:j2FukL7a

<b>INSTANT REVIEW:</b> Naked Lunch

I can think of at least two things wrong with that title.

204 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-08-11 12:19 ID:Heaven

spoiler: use asterisks for italic and double asterisks for bold.

205 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-08-15 20:29 ID:3Jn76LOP

**INSTANT REVIEW***: Rabid

Scorpion Tail Zombie Armpit.

206 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-08-18 19:52 ID:XZarmQnY

test

207 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-08-18 20:37 ID:MpV1tjme

Instant Review: Pineapple Express

Where are the pineapples? the trains? why are there druggies fighting like wannabe asians?

208 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-08-19 17:44 ID:oRzNvqJ+

>>207

You sir, are a idiot.

209 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-08-20 04:22 ID:1W4uErWv

>>208

jerk

210 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-08-20 20:55 ID:aXv1S9jK

INSTANT REVIEW: Rebel Without A Cause

Kid becomes a delinquent because his dad wears an apron. I could've sworn there were motorcycles in this one.

211 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-08-27 19:31 ID:v/98IGER

INSTANT REVIEW: My Neighbor Toroto
A few kids make some AWESOME friends and make me wish my childhood freinds weren't such jerks.

212 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-08-28 02:04 ID:5SC5sAkQ

INSTANT REVIEW: Hellboy 2
Two cool bladed fighting scenes, film overall okay.

213 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-09-04 10:55 ID:N4Kl4bne

INSTANT REVIEW : The Big Lebowski
Anything bad you say is just, like, your opinion, man.

214 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-09-04 13:25 ID:81mIUYS3

INSTANT REVIEW: Shooter
Involves a lot of shooting.

INSTANT REVIEW: Shoot'em up
Involves a lot of shooting.

215 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-09-16 23:55 ID:v/98IGER

INSTANT REVIEW: Cat Soup
''Did you eat all this acid?''

216 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-09-17 21:28 ID:+w9w7ocY

INSTANT REVIEW : Bangkok Dangerous (the FIRST ONE, not the crappy remake!)

It has been done before, but still worth checking out.

217 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-09-22 11:31 ID:Heaven

>>215 I did.

218 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-09-22 19:52 ID:FOmJgzdW

INSTANT REVIEW: Beautiful [korean movie]

Woman gets raped and loses viriginity. Goes crazy and kills any guy that looks like tha rapist, which is everyone because every guy in korea looks the same.

219 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-09-25 20:09 ID:h6xYqGw8

INSTANT REVIEW: Cat-girl Kiki

Neko-mimi mode!

220 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-09-27 17:07 ID:h6xYqGw8

INSTANT REVIEW: Pretty Maid Cafe

Bad Densha Otoko ripoff with hardly any maids at all. It does have topless drumming though.

221 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-09-28 03:45 ID:+w9w7ocY

INSTANT REVIEW: Chop Shop

A little Hustler kid founds out her Sister is a Whore. The end.

222 Post deleted.

223 Name: Miyuki : 2008-10-01 20:12 ID:uYH86p3w

I'd say ~~ Watch MAOU!!

It was really the only drama I liked last season.

And if you really want a silly silly drama that has no complete meaning watch 33Pun Tantei (33 Min Dectective)

224 Name: Miyuki : 2008-10-01 20:24 ID:uYH86p3w

sorry wrong place ↑↑

225 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-10-02 04:18 ID:7ZrTr82L

INSTANT REVIEW: Hell Ride

Quentin Tarantino presents "We Blew It, Man" produced by Quentin Tarantino (p.s. holy trinity lol)

226 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-10-03 03:44 ID:TsO3fL/F

INSTANT REVIEW: V For Vendetta

A cool ass guy says a bunch of big words, and blows shit up.

227 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-10-04 10:23 ID:rid49LrT

INSTA REVEW: Burn After Reading

Movie makes no sense and takes awhile to build up steam but the ending made it worth it.

228 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-10-08 12:33 ID:HGv8k9W2

ISNTANT REVIEW: Fargo

Oh god wish I didn't go off to masturbate half-way through.

229 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-10-09 02:29 ID:a3hllpf1

ISNTANT REVIEW: Swept Away

Rape is hot

230 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-10-12 00:31 ID:g5wb7yt1

INSTANT REVIEW: Memento

Oh god how did this get here I am not good with memory

231 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-10-12 20:48 ID:KZpZyNNC

INSTANT REVIEW: Travolti da un insolito destino nell'azzurro mare d'agosto

Man, this film is much better without Madonna. But I still can't masturbate to it at all.

232 Name: Tao : 2008-10-14 20:56 ID:+w9w7ocY

INSTANT REVIEW: Kidulthood

"Hey blood". "Sup Blood". "Safe". puts on hood every fucking time..puts on hood for the second time..yes you are fucking cool,jeezes fucking christ..england and hoods wtf? DO they all speak kingston, they really exagerate. Bad actin

INSTANT REVIEW: Adulthood (sequel)

Walks on street, puts on hood*. Runs of street , puts on hood* He is looking gangsta..puts on hood* (see kidulthood for more hood gangsta time). What'w with all the mean faces..seriously, they all pout and it's so fucking ridiculous. Half of em can't act and the ending showdown i couldn't stop laughing..especially the baseball bat and gun scene (bwahaha!)

Meh, AVOID BOTH.

233 Name: Tao : 2008-10-19 03:36 ID:+w9w7ocY

INSTANT REVIEW: My Mighty Princess

Piece of shit love comedy movie mixed with some FAIIIIL kungfu hustle.

234 Name: Jack Burton : 2008-11-03 20:44 ID:Bw2d/YFE

INSTANT REVIEW: Stargate

Stereotypical military types and a nerd go through a hole in space and fight Egyptian Space Nazis.

235 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-11-03 22:44 ID:zIAJHyuO

INSTANT REVIEW: One flew over the cuckoo's nest

"I'm bad. REEEL bad."
"We're all crazy!"
"I WANT MY CIGARETES!!![tears]"
Good acting, creepy as the book.

236 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-11-11 16:20 ID:w+tMldYx

INSTANT REVIEW: Modern Times

Hi I am Charlie Chaplin! Watch me be lovable.

Awwww.

captcha: loubable

237 Post deleted.

238 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-11-21 02:47 ID:v/98IGER

INSTANT REVIEW: 7 Samurai

190 Minutes of pure fucking awesome, sadly interrupted by my friend's brother and his fucking annoying friends who constantly kept saying shit like ''What the fuck is this crap?'' and ''Turn this boring shit off we want to play GTA4''.

239 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-11-27 19:05 ID:kFSkoGTN

240 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-12-01 01:21 ID:2FYoNU/1

Hungry Bitches

One girl shits into a cup. She and another girl eat the shit, then make out. Apparently the first girl had corn for lunch.

10/10

241 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-12-06 15:41 ID:czECYqE0

INSTANT REVIEW: Miss Castaway and the Island Girls

Michael Jackson, the bible, and flagrant stupidity combine forces to give you a nail-gun-lobotomy-like experience.

242 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-12-11 18:45 ID:5FlEfr2o

INSTANT REVIEW: Waterworld

Finally, a refreshing break from the unimaginative desert of postapocalyptica. Kevin Costner as a gratingly REAL MANLY MAN.

243 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-12-14 03:51 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Traitor

Started well, but bam. Cliché Undercover,followed by stupid one side terrorists are evil shit.Meh

244 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-12-15 20:10 ID:3Ury6prL

INSTANT REVIEW: Milk

bald eagle sheds a single tear

The 60's never ended...

puts on sunglasses

...they just got a lot sexier.

The Who: YEAHHHHHHH!!!!!

245 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-12-16 20:12 ID:3Ury6prL

INSTANT REVIEW: L.I.E.

Yesssss! I've been waiting so long for my erotic pedophile literature to be made into a film.

246 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-12-20 03:23 ID:+w9w7ocY

INSTANT REVIEW: seven pounds

Oooooh so the seven pounds means Will Smioth gives away seven pounds of body parts when he commits suicide. OOOH I GET IT! Great movie!

247 Name: Couch Potato : 2008-12-28 00:08 ID:2K8EWp1q

INSTANT REVIEW: seven pounds
Will Smith playing poison Jelly fish obsessed retard or troll who in the end via his death poisons/kills one to seven of his stalked victims by the heart-attack destroyed heart, and poisoned bodyparts of his, that he's organ donating to them.

248 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-01-01 20:43 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: seven pounds

DURRRRR! I DONT LIKE ANYTHIN THAT DOESNT HAVE BATMANS INIT!

249 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-01-10 21:29 ID:/7goUtCd

INSTANT REVIEW: Kisaragi

Reservoir Dogs meets wota-gei.

250 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-01-11 01:06 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Seven Samurai

Probably one of the most realistic movies i ever seen, beautiful!

INSTANT REVIEW: Babylon AD Unrated (uncut?)

The movie still sucks if it's uncut, and the ending is one of the worst ever

251 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-01-11 01:14 ID:0c/iHmJz

INSTANT REVIEW: Twilight

Features vampires who instead of burning when coming in contact with the sun, sparkle like faggots covered in glitter.

252 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-01-13 01:43 ID:/7goUtCd

INSTANT REVIEW: Zack and Miri Make A Porno

DUTCH RUDDER

253 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-01-13 18:40 ID:BYrKsMUw

INSTANT REVIEW: Blindness

Japanese guy drives car and goes blind then everyone goes blind. Blind people are sent to a quarantine facility and soon rage war on eachother.

254 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-01-15 04:49 ID:CzAYpRD6

INSTANT REVIEW: Rocknrolla

Anybody want to buy a painting?

255 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-01-16 12:53 ID:0/T46g6E

INSTANT REVIEW: Cleaner

Samuel L. "MOTHERFUCKING" Jackson cleans crime scenes. The blood looks somewhat tasty.

256 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-01-16 18:34 ID:rugAGVmy

INSTANT REVIEW: Let the Right One In

A nice Vampire flick from some foreign country, and features a twelve year old girl's muff. Is this movie even legal? Regardless, it's a good movie.

257 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-01-16 22:09 ID:2LLiaF80

Instant Review: Sakuran

Bright colors, pretty girls, nice soundtrack. I don't know how Anna Tsuchiya makes talking like a hick so sexy.

258 Name: Moosie : 2009-01-18 17:49 ID:XEa1M4LG

Instant Review: Defiance

James Bond goes back to the 40s, converts to Judaism and kills a lot of Nazis.

259 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-01-25 06:58 ID:XDWMX5xS

INSTANT REVIEW: Mother, Jugs, And Speed

Bill Cosby drives a hot-rod ambulance. Larry Hagman is a crazy pervert. Raquel Welch is Raquel Welch. Harvey Keitel proves he wasn't always old.

260 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-01-31 22:53 ID:WR9a5a8H

INSTANT REVIEW: Mandingo (1975)

The savage ugly guts of life under slavery. This movie probably couldn't be made today.

261 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-02-02 04:52 ID:/w19tjEr

INSTANT REVIEW: Charlie Bartlett
Kid in High School becomes kind of a psychiatrist/drug dealer. He goes out with the principal's (played by Robert Downey Jr.) daughter. Stuff happens.

Nice movie. Not too much drama, not too much comedy.

262 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-02-03 03:50 ID:iwMaFSKV

INSTANT REVIEW: Just You And Me, Kid (1979)

Kind of like Gran Torino. Except instead of an old racist, it's an old Vaudeville comedian. And instead of an Asian kid, it's loli Brooke Shields.

263 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-02-03 08:43 ID:7PT5jW8j

INSTANT REVIEW: Eraserhead (1977)
Unhappy guy with a rubber brain. The moral of the story: Babies are filled with oil and cottage cheese.

10/10

264 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-02-03 17:08 ID:YPWyIFi2

INSTANT REVIEW: On Any Sunday (1971)

VVVRRRROOOOM. VROOM VROOM. VROOOOOOM. Very '70s.

265 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-02-06 17:43 ID:Rb+OcqmY

INSTANT REVIEW: Dead like me: like after death

Horrible sequel of the brilliant two season cancelled cult series "dead like me". Probably no chance we get a third season after this shit.

266 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-02-20 06:22 ID:rjufG3tm

INSTANT REVIEW: Jesus Camp

It's astounding to me how well-directed this documentary is. Compare it to ideology-pandering crap like "The End of the World Cult". I'm sort of upset how the careful, unbiased attitude of the directors is so blindly overlooked.

267 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-02-21 05:40 ID:Heaven

>unbiased
>directors

lol...

268 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-03-01 22:46 ID:jJVhgnTE

INSTANT REVIEW: Jonestown: The Life And Death Of The People's Temple

I could go for some Kool-Aid.

269 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-03-22 04:44 ID:ayu3jqph

INSTANT REVIEW: Role Model

A really cute movie. Half assholes, half LARPing, all fun.

270 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-03-26 20:10 ID:dBVwXTNC

INSTANT REVIEW: Hounddog

Feel-good family film of the year.

271 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-03-30 23:21 ID:2EzjCrMU

INSTANT REVIEW: The Godfather

I did not care for it.

272 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-04-02 02:12 ID:/w19tjEr

INSTANT REVIEW: π/PI (1998, Darren Aronofsky)
A guy spends too much times with numbers and goes crazy. Some trippy sequences. Awesome photography.

Would watch again again.

273 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-04-05 18:51 ID:/w19tjEr

INSTANT REVIEW: Knowing

Nicolas Cage knows when shit happens, and can't do anything to prevent said shit so we can watch the mess on screen.

Plot is like a subpar Shyalaman.

274 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-04-12 01:33 ID:UTSiZv1e

***INSTANT REVIEW:*** Let the Right One In

Swedish loli vampires. This is ALL you need to know. Just trust me on this one.

275 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-04-12 11:54 ID:M37eF3tW

INSTANT REVIEW: A Snake of June

Blue filters are erotic.

276 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-04-13 12:59 ID:Iff5cvIq

Instant review: YES MAN

Mildly funny. I like the concept, know a few people like that that shut themselves out of life that need to start saying yes and let life happen. Recommended

277 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-04-13 16:43 ID:M37eF3tW

Instant Review: Ong Bak 2

Films with cliffhanger endings usually annoy me but this just was't good enough for me to care. I wish they would make another movie about the autistic girl instead of Ong Bak 3.

278 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-04-17 14:33 ID:GBdeUGFr

Instant Review: Dragonball Evolution

Really, it wasn't that bad. Especially when you take the time to consider just how awful it could have been. I'll buy it. Goku's character did a great job.

279 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-04-19 16:11 ID:GNozoKDT

280 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-04-19 21:38 ID:Gyry0M21

INSTANT REVIEW: Lady Battle Cop

Robocop wishes he had an earring.

281 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-05-04 20:22 ID:Rb+OcqmY

INSTANT REVIEW: A world without thieves

I wanna be THE THIEF!!

282 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-05-04 20:31 ID:Rb+OcqmY

INSTANT REVIEW (again): Memories of Matsuko

Tragicomedy at its best!! Probably one of the best japanse movies i have ever seen, really a gem. 10/10 sniff*

283 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-05-09 11:12 ID:zESmWpS4

INSTANT REVIEW: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005)

Not funny, not interesting, not recommended.

284 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-05-11 17:55 ID:Heaven

>>283
I would have said "nothing like the book", but actually it would have meant exactly what you said.

285 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-05-23 04:04 ID:KlyCcWXW

INSTANT REVIEW: Fanboys

A simple, hilarious movie that any Star Wars fan can relate to. It features tons of cameos and Star Wars inside jokes. "Don't roll your eyes at me, Admiral Jackbar" sums up the movie.

286 Name: Ryuuchi : 2009-05-26 09:00 ID:5f/uFwDX

INSTANT REVIEW: Star Trek (2009)

Four words: Live long and prosper.

287 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-06-08 13:36 ID:TntXxXZW

INSTANT REVIEW: Dragonball Evolution

Let-down. Storyline was too rushed, no time figure out where they were, let alone develop any empathy for characters. It was just a flurry of characters with the occasional delivery of cleavage.

288 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-06-11 20:12 ID:BYrKsMUw

INSTANT REVIEW: Antique (Korean movie)

A guy opens a cake shop and hires a gay guy to work there. Everyone eats cake.

289 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-06-15 17:02 ID:GBdeUGFr

INSTANT REVIEW: Terminator: Salvation

It was good, until I realised it did absolutely nothing to further the Terminator Storyline.

290 Name: heh man!fi.Jek4HW6!!gGKYHXFO : 2009-06-20 03:22 ID:Ha+QuA+5

INSTANT REVIEW: Zeitgeist

Absolute crap

291 Name: heh man!fi.Jek4HW6!!gGKYHXFO : 2009-06-20 03:25 ID:Ha+QuA+5

>>290
Actually I would have said "WTF" but still

CAPTCHA: renass

292 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-06-27 05:12 ID:3Ury6prL

INSTANT REVIEW: Up

good kids movie

293 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-06-27 16:21 ID:XL3dFN8e

>>292

INSTANT REVIEW: INSTANT REVIEW OF Up

this faggot will never get pussy. ever.

294 Name: anonymouse : 2009-07-09 21:33 ID:ufdDrKF2

INSTANT REVIEW: Big Trouble in Little China

99 minutes of pure, uncut, china white, straight-to-the-vein AWESOME.

295 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-07-13 20:13 ID:729j9cUh

INSTANT REVIEW: The Machine Girl

A girl with a fucking machine gun on her arm kills the shit out of everyone.

296 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-07-24 22:27 ID:WpPeDDxC

INSTANT REVIEW: Big Top Pee-Wee

Goddammit he's not supposed to have a sex drive what the fuck

297 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-08-03 16:42 ID:DBUuOJuF

INSTANT REVIEW: Religulous

Guy being interviewed: "I believe in God"
Bill Maher: "AH HA HA LISTEN TO THIS SHIT!"

298 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-08-03 21:39 ID:nguOVCKH

INSTANT REVIEW: The Good, The Bad, The Weird

Like The Good, The Bad and the Ugly except with Koreans in 1930s Manchuria and not actually much like The Good, The Bad and the Ugly. If I had to choose one part of the title to review it I'd go with The Weird.

299 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-08-13 18:06 ID:44FcdZSB

INSTANT REVIEW: Moon

Kicks ass. See it if it comes to your neighborhood.

300 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-08-14 17:33 ID:3Ury6prL

INSTANT REVIEW: The Cove

Higurashi IRL

301 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-08-15 21:57 ID:/w19tjEr

INSTANT REVIEW: Lesbian Vampire Killers
Contains Lesbian Vampires. And people who kill them. And lots of british absurd humor. Funny movie. Also, NOT porn, sorry. Good surprise overall.

>>300 did not review 300 the movie. I am kinda disappointed, Couch Potato.

302 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-08-16 15:53 ID:mO/upfGa

INSTANT REVIEW: Videodrome

James Woods with the worst haircut in cinematic history goes batshit insane.

303 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-08-17 15:15 ID:4D0T2oq+

INSTANT REVIEW: District 9

Indie Scifi movie that turns into a poorly written action flick halfway through. Also, Pig Gibs.

304 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-08-17 18:52 ID:Rb+OcqmY

INSTANT REVIEW: Adventureland

Emo Boy meets Emo Girl who bangs Married Rockstar secretely who cockblocks Ignorant Emo Boy followed by more cheesy drama and a farfatched happy ending.

305 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-08-28 14:26 ID:613OoA+E

INSTANT REVIEW: The Room
Oh hyyyy there, roooume. Leesa is my future waif.

306 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-09-06 00:34 ID:U79ANs71

INSTANT REVIEW: HANNAH MONTANA the Movie
Do I even need to say it?

307 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-09-06 04:38 ID:3Ury6prL

INSTANT REVIEW: 2012: The Odyssey

The exemplar of New Age movies. Pure naivete and cheesiness. (Skip it)

308 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-09-06 15:49 ID:Rb+OcqmY

INSTANT REVIEW : Timecrimes

Pretty good despite the obvious paradoxes.

309 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-09-22 09:44 ID:82JkZ1X6

310 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-09-25 03:53 ID:XdB3B+5g

casablanca

Studly Bogart helps his Ex escape nazi controlled africa after a SHITLOAD of flashbacks

311 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-10-01 16:20 ID:fsM5F2Xh

INSTANT REVIEW: Murder By Death

Frequently stupid. Sparsely humorous. Entirely nonsensical.

...

Brilliant!

312 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-10-07 20:49 ID:WpPeDDxC

INSTANT REVIEW: The Legend of Zorro

They should have called it Everybody Loves Zorro.

313 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-10-18 10:19 ID:rid49LrT

INSTANT REVIEW: Zombieland

Left 4 Dead the movie.

314 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-10-21 17:26 ID:epzMYO0n

[b]INSTANT REVIEW[/b]: At Land (1944)

Nice unless you try to analyse it.

315 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-10-27 07:45 ID:LAWeh04f

INSTANT REVIEW: Good (2008)

Depressing as fuck. Bad acting.

316 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-10-31 04:27 ID:HbLjoETB

INSTANT REVIEW: Postmen in the Mountains (那山那人那狗, 1999)

What I expected: The exotic mystery of the Orient.

What I got: A heartwarming tale of a postman's life

317 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-11-03 01:18 ID:1ogG7p8d

INSTANT REVIEW: IZO

Japanese director on acid tries to wrap philosophy in a splatter movie.

318 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-11-04 18:39 ID:/NmC1kkz

INSTANT REVIEW: M

If you don't love this movie you might not even be human.

319 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-11-05 02:56 ID:gP3LhGKn

>>318

The 1931 German one, the 1951 American one, or the 2007 Korean drama?

320 Name: 302 : 2009-12-03 20:44 ID:kH90UEZC

INSTANT REVIEW: Oh, God!

Quaint folksy tale wherein George Burns reads lines off a cue card.

Addendum: When I said James Woods had the worst haircut in cinematic history, it was only because I was unaware John Denver had ever starred in a movie. I now stand corrected.

321 Post deleted.

322 Name: Couch Potato : 2009-12-31 01:47 ID:ILqzCtid

INSTANT REVIEW: Star Trek

Somehow this didn't trip my nerd rage-o-meter. It may be watered down, but it's not a bad movie.

323 Name: Couch Potato : 2010-01-11 16:46 ID:ytX9y7Ny

324 Name: Couch Potato : 2010-01-13 09:20 ID:QrdzANp7

INSTANT REVIEW: Inglorious Basterds

Jews are so great, Hitler sux XD.

325 Name: Couch Potato : 2010-01-20 02:41 ID:0LQTJ5yg

INSTANT REVIEW: Funny People

One of Adam Sandler's better movies. But not as funny as the name implies.

326 Name: Couch Potato : 2010-02-01 14:18 ID:bxJ1B29A

INSTANT REVIEW: Once Upon a Time in the West

I hate westerns, actually I never watched one, find them too boring. But this movie is amazing, completely changes my opinion of westerns.

327 Name: Couch Potato : 2010-02-08 02:20 ID:HbLjoETB

INSTANT REVIEW: Coraline

Gorgeous visuals, cute characters, but the plot feels like a tech demo, or a video game really. If you liked Avatar you may like this. Main character is quite fappable.

328 Name: Couch Potato : 2010-02-11 23:01 ID:DVg6i6SM

INSTANT REVIEW: Traxx (1988)

You know what I think of your cookies?

<10 second fart>

That's what I think of your cookies!

329 Name: Couch Potato : 2010-02-21 06:35 ID:3Ury6prL

INSTANT REVIEW: Avatar

I am getting in the habit of writing instant reviews in this thread for movies that everyone has already seen.

330 Name: Couch Potato : 2010-03-11 14:37 ID:fm1GY39l

INSTANT REVIEW: Where The Wild Things Are (2010)

What the fuck, this is a kid's movie, why are you beating the shit out of each other?

331 Name: Couch Potato : 2010-03-20 21:22 ID:e0Yqx/SC

INSTANT REVIEW: Farewell Space Battleship Yamato

GLORIOUS NIPPON BANZAI!!!!1

332 Name: Couch Potato : 2010-03-31 15:09 ID:ZrZ8GVY1

Lord of War

Arms trade and corruption.

333 Name: Couch Potato : 2010-04-05 03:08 ID:GG/r7oLZ

INSTANT REVIEW: Summer Wars

zomg such an awesome movie. Too much Internet though

334 Post deleted.

335 Name: Couch Potato : 2010-04-19 23:45 ID:VArd1xlv

INSTANT REVIEW: The Hurt Locker

angry man, reckless man and black man combine forces to disarm shit. thats fucking IT

336 Name: Couch Potato : 2010-05-14 16:16 ID:xwr6csUW

INSTANT REVIEW: Iron Man 2

Man goes through process metaphorical to mid-life crisis, finds new hobby.

337 Name: Couch Potato : 2010-07-26 03:25 ID:dKJoInuP

INSTANT REVIEW: Hard Candy

Tender teenage girl goes psycho on ambivalent pedophile. GOES HARD!! YAAAY.

338 Name: Couch Potato : 2010-07-26 07:35 ID:UWWWIvkj

INSTANT REVIEW: INCEPTION

Groups goes into a dream of a dream of a dream to plant idea. MIND BLASTING!

339 Name: Couch Potato : 2010-08-02 16:14 ID:KVKJGNu3

INSTANT REVIEW: TOY STORY 3

Evil fucking stuffed bear rules daycare center with an iron fist. Has an SS crew of nazi henchmen. Sid is the trash truck driver at the end. If you cry when Andy gives the toys to Molly, you're gay!

Also, Woody talks to Sid but not Andy in the third movie? What the fuck gives man!

Should have been Rated PG.

340 Name: Couch Potato : 2010-08-02 16:46 ID:KVKJGNu3

INSTANT REVIEW: THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE

Two chicks and a guy. Eating shit is involved. The guys from Lexx are in it. They are making a second one with twelve people...I hope its the cast of Serenity and they all die.

341 Name: Couch Potato : 2010-08-02 16:49 ID:KVKJGNu3

INSTANT REVIEW: TRANSFORMERS 2

Micheal Bay put nigger robots in the movie. Shit gets blown up. Wait for ABC Family to show it.

342 Name: Couch Potato : 2010-08-02 16:52 ID:KVKJGNu3

>> 339

Oh wait...Andy gave the toys to BONNIE...Molly is Andy's little bitch sister. Thankfully, he didn't give her jack shit.

343 Name: Couch Potato : 2010-08-02 17:00 ID:KVKJGNu3

INSTANT REVIEW: CUBE

People stuck inside a Rubik's cube. Turns out it is harder to solve from the inside. Did you know there are traps and shit in there?

344 Name: Couch Potato : 2010-08-02 18:06 ID:KVKJGNu3

INSTANT REVIEW: BOXING HELENA

Psycho doctor cuts off chick's arms and legs he's in love with. Turns out she wanted to fuck him after all.

345 Name: Couch Potato : 2010-08-02 18:17 ID:KVKJGNu3

INSTANT REVIEW: 2012

Big budget tin foil hat film. Three hours of my life I'll never get the fuck back!!!

YES...I said THREE HOURS.

346 Name: Couch Potato : 2010-08-02 18:22 ID:KVKJGNu3

INSTANT REVIEW: AVATAR

Anti-war movie. Republicans are bad. Aliens and Christianity. Oh, and save the planet, fuck the whales, all that shit. Special effects look like a 1st year Flash programmer student's work.

347 Name: Couch Potato : 2010-08-03 13:18 ID:dmC4jGgk

INSTANT REVIEW: Pi

Mathematician discovers the secret of the Universe, and goes mad. Accompanied by lots of electronic music.

348 Name: bananaman : 2010-08-06 14:47 ID:21rsKuAQ

INSTANT REVIEW: PULSE

The world becomes a radio-wave graveyard. My head was pulsing after watching pulse.

349 Name: bananaman : 2010-08-06 14:52 ID:21rsKuAQ

INSTANT REVIEW: AVATAR

An alien movie in 3D!!! OMG!! James Cameron wipes his shit onto film and shows the reels to the idiot masses.

350 Name: bananaman : 2010-08-06 14:59 ID:21rsKuAQ

INSTANT REVIEW: ALICE IN WONDERLAND (LATEST REMAKE)

A long and boring Tim Burton movie with..gasp...Johnny Depp yet again.

351 Name: Couch Potato : 2010-08-08 02:50 ID:KVKJGNu3

INSTANT REVIEW: TOMB RAIDER

A very bad action movie with a hot chick with nice tits, nasty tats and a fake accent. Based on some shitty video game that is so bad people won't bother torrenting the damn thing.

352 Name: Couch Potato : 2010-08-19 15:02 ID:KVKJGNu3

INSTANT REVIEW: THE EXPENDABLES

Sylvester Stallone making a movie showing how he is not old. Lots of explosions. Lots of big name action actors. No nudity and no sex. I want to be Jason Statham when I grow up!

353 Name: Couch Potato : 2010-08-29 16:21 ID:N78qjZlC

INSTANT REVIEW: Inception

A lot of people dreaming about dreams until the main character wakes up at the end, revealing the whole movie was a dream.

354 Name: Couch Potato : 2010-08-31 14:09 ID:KVKJGNu3

INSTANT REVIEW: GRAN TORINO

No one gave two fucks about the Hmong people on 4-ch or 4chan until this shitty Clint Eastwood movie came out about a fucking car he never drove yet he kept washing it while he kept fixing shit around his and the next door neighbors house. Puts a positive spin on racism.

355 Name: Couch Potato : 2010-09-09 19:55 ID:KVKJGNu3

INSTANT REVIEW: RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD

A 90 minute music video with several pop rock songs and dead zombie fuckers trying to eat people's brains.

356 Name: Couch Potato : 2010-09-22 09:30 ID:ThZowLbN

INSTANT REVIEW: I Still Believe In Zeus

That sure was an indie documentary. The best part was the pagan festival footage, Greeks know how to have a good time.

357 Name: Couch Potato : 2010-10-13 19:25 ID:KVKJGNu3

INSTANT REVIEW: FIEND WITHOUT A FACE

Movie about a non-mad scientist who creates evil brains that eat people with just his thoughts. Kinda of a backward zombie movie. Instead of zombies eating brains, it is brains eating people!

358 Name: Couch Potato : 2010-10-22 08:27 ID:LnWXQVP+

INSTANT REVIEW: PRETTY BABY

Pedobear takes up photography in early 20th century New Orleans.

359 Name: Couch Potato : 2010-11-04 19:01 ID:KVKJGNu3

INSTANT REVIEW: REPO MEN

Jude Law and Forrest Whitaker repo body parts from deadbeats who can't pay for them until Jude Law gets an artificial heart and gets a conscience about killing people. Has an M. Night Shalamon ending.

360 Name: Couch Potato : 2010-11-04 19:05 ID:KVKJGNu3

INSTANT REVIEW: KILLERS

Ashton Kutcher and Tom Sellick are ex-spies trying to kill each other because Katherine Heigl was dumped by a geeky nerd.

361 Name: Couch Potato : 2010-11-05 19:36 ID:HyPmq1tT

362 Name: Couch Potato : 2010-11-23 04:20 ID:dQoTOrom

INSTANT REVIEW: Zardoz

The penis is evil.

363 Name: OTL : 2010-12-22 08:05 ID:/DgxTuDZ

INSTANT REVIEW: Planes, Trains, and Automobiles

Cute movie. That "fuck" scene definitely is a classic.

364 Name: Couch Potato : 2011-02-09 18:07 ID:g5DGOy+S

INSTANT REVIEW: The King's Speech

King George wasn't treated nicely as a kid and developed a bad stutter. His speech pathologist helps him speak in public and they became friends.

365 Name: Couch Potato : 2011-03-30 10:04 ID:ThZowLbN

INSTANT REVIEW: Prom Night in Missippi

integrated prom doesnt work because they have to play both white and black music

366 Name: rabbit : 2011-04-08 12:22 ID:GwjcGbMT

Japanese Porno movie App for Android[free]
http://ra.mypage.me/ ←download now

367 Name: Couch Potato : 2011-04-19 13:06 ID:QsvFi8c/

I am Japanese

The force required to protect the lives of the world world
Please help! There is little time remaining

Nuclear power plant in Fukushima, Japan is highly toxic plutonium around the world, strontium, iodine, threatened the health of people scattered cesium

Despite the radioactive material is scattered around the globe with just a single point of meltdown in the region of Japan

Japan, now lets spread radioactive material world of dark debris caked all over again in all 47 locations across the country!

Thank you, the government and the press

368 Name: Couch Potato : 2011-04-24 05:57 ID:QX7KNMXZ

369 Name: Couch Potato : 2011-05-27 04:05 ID:lTTKnR5r

INSTANT REVIEW: Videodrome
Surreal body horror mixed with social commentary. Starting half is well-paced and full of interesting content, ending half becomes a fairly generic horror slug-fest. "The television screen is the retina of the mind's eye"

370 Name: Couch Potato : 2011-06-05 05:18 ID:lTTKnR5r

INSTANT REVIEW: Being John Malkovich

Mix of drama and comedy in a refreshingly unpredictable script. A tad too lighthearted for my tastes

371 Name: Couch Potato : 2011-06-13 04:25 ID:smM+eZXq

INSTANT REVIEW: Sonatine

Kitano makes a slow good movie about nothing.

372 Name: Couch Potato : 2011-07-07 07:12 ID:2zgES01Q

INSTANT REVIEW: The Lost Boys (3-4/5)

Well plotted vampire flick with dual romance/humor plots. Kind of like the goonies crossed with the wild one, the teenage rebellion stylizations really add to the film.

INSTANT REVIEW: Hatchet (2/5)

Forgettable piece of shit where the best part of the film is when the characters aren't talking about the plot. Some very funny opening humor that eventually grinds down to your run-of-the-mill slasher. The film doesn't take itself very seriously, but with such monotonous plot development it's hard to think how the audience could take it any other way. Not worth your time after the first 30 minutes unless you just really dig gore

373 Name: Couch Potato : 2011-08-09 20:08 ID:io73S2+9

>>165
I just wanted to say thank you to >>165
Because of his review I found out about this great movie and watched it... From the first moment the movie started, with somebody in a bathtub, blood running down their forehead, and a bathroom with green (green like mold - think barton fink) tiles -- I knew that movie was for me.

374 Name: Couch Potato : 2011-08-11 04:06 ID:v7DmIpt+

375 Name: Couch Potato : 2011-08-17 00:52 ID:2zgES01Q

INSTANT REVIEW: Alien Nation (2-3/5)

Take an interesting idea, make it as cliche and sterile as possible, add a bunch of assholes, and Whadda ya get? A shitty film where the lead is so old even running for three minutes seems to give him heart problems

Seriously, you should have seen that schmuck clutch at his chest

376 Post deleted.

377 Name: japanese : 2011-08-19 19:09 ID:UIZZTyUx

378 Name: japanese from 2ch : 2011-08-20 16:25 ID:GnXVz5Dv

Instant review: The Tree Of Life (5/5)

This movie is the greatest one ever I have seen!

First of all, I was astonished by many brilliant scenes in the movie. There are beautiful trees, mountains, stories. people, scene under water, pictures of space and flowers. It is very nice!

At the second, this story is great. It contains the theme of job in bible. It is true I had not been familiar with bible, but through watching it, I was moved by great story.

This movie is great. You have to watch it!

379 Post deleted.

380 Name: Couch Potato : 2011-09-01 16:59 ID:2zgES01Q

INSTANT REVIEW: Troll hunter (4/5)
it's not profound, but at least it's entertaining. Documentary-style execution and subtle humour make it worthwhile.

INSTANT REVIEW: Fall of the House of Usher (4/5)
Maintains a tight gothic atmosphere, if a little on the melodramatic side. It's an old movie, but certainly holds its own. Vincent price is so good you can't help but smile

INSTANT REVIEW:13 Assassins (4/5)
Doesn't throw any surprises, but executes the concept well. It's a long and tedious wind-up to the action, but once there the battle sequences deserve real praise. Historical detail is also praiseworthy

381 Name: Couch Potato : 2011-09-15 08:33 ID:0cbRQg9g

INSTANT REVIEW: A State of Mind (4/5)
Despite clearly looking right at the Party minders standing behind the cameramen, this documentary about two North Korean gymnasts adds some humanity to the DPRK. There is also excellent high quality footage of the rarely-seen mass games.

Also, power outages are America's fault, apparently.

382 Name: Couch Potato : 2011-09-26 07:22 ID:0cbRQg9g

INSTANT REVIEW: Crossing the Line (4/5)
The story of James Dressnock, the last US defector to North Korea still living there today. A dropout with little future in America, he became a movie star in the DPRK.

Movie stars live in dank two bedroom apartments in the workers' paradise, it turns out.

383 Name: a : 2011-09-30 10:37 ID:y1wWvZ/H

Mutual understanding between the traditional culture of Korea through "Hanmadang Korea Festival (Festival-Korea Exchange)" was held at Seoul City Hall Plaza on April 25. This year is the seventh is "Ganbare Nippon! Korea Thank you!", Entitled to the gratitude and support for large earthquakes East Korea, was held on the theme of encouragement to affected areas.

The event will be rushed on the stage, Masatoshi Muto, Japanese ambassador "after large earthquakes East was able to overcome the difficulties with the warm attention of the Korean people. I want to thank on behalf of the Japanese people" and conveyed his appreciation. Citizens gathered at the square Muto ambassador applauded the encouragement.

To console the souls of the victims of the earthquake also, Sarupuri (derived from folk dances of exorcism ritual) is showing off his dance Sarupuri Kimurihe virtuoso. Approximately 20,000 citizens of Korea and traditional dance performances, Hanbok (traditional Korean costume) and a kimono dressing, etc., enjoyed a variety of events.

Japan continued to dance such as the Mr. Morioka, dance team, Fukushima nuclear power plant damaged in an accident due to earthquakes and tsunamis, "Hula Girls" showed off the hula. In addition, the booth in Fukushima Prefecture "has overcome great adversity with the help of the Korean people" was the banner that says 掲Ge.

Culture, Sports and Tourism Ministry (the equivalent of saving) light-sik Choi (Cheguanshiku) ministers also attended "The Japanese people want you to lose courage and hope," was greeted with.

Fukushima Prefecture's participation Kishitakashi (44) "very much the support of South Korea, are working hard to recover. Fukushima, South Korea's support and compassion always answer someday," he said.

Also, I visited the site Shinsunuon (39), "Korea and Japan have also faced dissension, I think relations are inseparable. Of Korea supported the distress experienced the earthquake in Japan I want much attention not forget, "he said.
New!

384 Name: Couch Potato : 2011-10-01 10:11 ID:BgdZyRU/

385 Name: Couch Potato : 2011-10-05 16:47 ID:lIXdOtH9

386 Name: Couch Potato : 2011-12-28 06:17 ID:3mENrRYn

INSTANT REVIEW: Gattaca (4/5)
Sci-fi drama regarding the pitfalls of genetic engineering. A fairly uncomplicated plot, but with moving drama. Hollywood fare done right

Also features a superb soundtrack

387 Name: Couch Potato : 2012-01-11 04:32 ID:YIcDpFx1

INSTANT REVIEW: Blue Velvet (4/5)

One of the most-talked about Lynch films also happens to be one of his most mundane. Interesting enough, but often feels a little bland.

389 Post deleted.

390 Name: Couch Potato : 2012-02-05 11:19 ID:ioNlsZEK

INSTANT REVIEW: A Serious Man (2/5)

A few things happen, there is no climax in the action, and there is no resolution to a single problem. Post-meaningful film at its finest. A few funny moments make it tolerable.

391 Name: Couch Potato : 2012-02-12 03:35 ID:YIcDpFx1

INSTANT REVIEW: American History X (3/5)
Hyped up plenty, but I can't help but feel so much of it is cheap political posturing and disconnected melodrama. Not to mention that ending. The fuck? Is this even connected to the plot?

392 Name: Couch Potato : 2012-06-11 09:17 ID:XWe3FCf7

INSTANT REVIEW: Sunshine (2007) 2/5

A movie with good characters (for sci-fi), a good story (for sci-fi), and quality special effects that carried the weight just fine until it decided sci-fi wasn't enough and went horror 2/3rds of the way through for some reason.

393 Name: Couch Potato : 2012-09-30 18:53 ID:0fNZf8bF

copland

394 Name: Couch Potato : 2013-01-10 02:03 ID:N2VjHyJp

395 Name: Couch Potato : 2013-02-02 13:42 ID:4OPtNH8A

INSTANT REVIEW: Django Unchained (2012) 5/5

Revenge and a healthy serving of spaghetti western references with Tarantino's usual awesome dialogue and dark humor. It claims to be two hours and forty minutes long, but doesn't feel like it. I'd see if I were you.

396 Name: Couch Potato : 2013-02-10 23:48 ID:4OPtNH8A

INSTANT REVIEW: The Descendants (2011) 5/5

A solid drama with plenty of light moments given the many terrible things that happen. I do feel sorry for the actress who had to play comatose for 90% of the movie. Clooney and the rest of the conscious players are awesome. Also, 'Sup bro?

397 Name: Couch Potato : 2013-05-04 05:24 ID:4OPtNH8A

INSTANT REVIEW: Oblivion (2013) 3/5

Rehashes themes and entire plot lines of other sci-fi films with its big budget and seamless CG. Huge plot holes and blatant theft aside, it's almost as beautiful to look at as Tom Cruise in his prime.

398 Name: Couch Potato : 2013-05-09 07:02 ID:qR+S7EgR

INSTANT REVIEW: Iron Man III (2013) 3/5

Apparently part of a trilogy and crossover or something. Have you heard of this little movie? Will upset hardcore fans because it flubs minor details. Surprisingly little Iron Man in this movie. The best part is when Tony Stark makes fun of a child.

399 Name: Couch Potato : 2013-05-21 09:14 ID:qR+S7EgR

INSTANT REVIEW: Star Trek: Into Darkness (2013) 4/5

I really want to nitpick this film because that's what Star Trek nerds do, but instead I'll just review it. Lots of action, lots of epic space awesomeness, all tied together with a story that more or less makes sense. It's basically a long-form big-budget episode and that's what I want in a Star Trek movie.

400 Name: Couch Potato : 2013-06-17 10:38 ID:qR+S7EgR

INSTANT REVIEW: Man of Steel (2013) 3/5

Excellent visual effects give life to alien technology that is uniquely and truly alien-looking. The plot makes sense, but is lacking. The back-story is told through unobtrusive flashbacks.

As is often the case in these action/superhero/alien movies, it just seems like if there was even a slight pause for negotiations and even a hint of common courtesy out of the bad guys prior to the the epic CG battle sequences, every issue could be solved amicably. But that doesn't sell tickets. If you like watching buildings collapse, this is the movie for you!

401 Name: Couch Potato : 2013-07-22 23:06 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: The World's End (2013) 5/5

A brilliant end to Simon Pegg's Cornetto trilogy, with the same great brand of humour and narrative that made Hot Fuzz and Shaun of the Dead classics. Definitely not a disappointment.

A few of the recurring jokes in the series felt a little forced (e.g. the cornetto gag) but not enough to ruin it.

402 Name: Couch Potato : 2013-08-22 19:07 ID:zkS5vjaE

INSTANT REVIEW: Perfume: The Story of a Murderer (2006) 4/5

Starts off quirky-strange and gradually turns creepy-strange. Protagonist is oddly endearing, but perhaps that's just me. Worth watching for the twist at the end alone.

403 Name: Couch Potato : 2013-08-22 20:06 ID:KI/b2A/h

INSTANT REVIEW: Silent Hill

Has some tense athmosphere here and there but it is very far from calling itself a horror movie. Sucked massive dick

404 Name: Couch Potato : 2013-08-23 00:14 ID:VgMWTQCT

INSTANT REVIEW: Weekend at Bernie's 2

Stupid fucking movie. Departs from the somewhat realistic scenario of the first one and goes right into the supernatural. They're not even at Bernie's and it may or may not even be a weekend. Very fun to watch with other people.

405 Name: Couch Potato : 2013-08-26 08:46 ID:+ZLV5l4O

<b>INSTANT REVIEW:</b> Intouchables

Pretty OK. Made me laugh some times, I rather enjoyed myself watching it. The only thing that buggs me is the thing they always do in dramas: They tell you how life went on etc. I'd rather see it having the black dude just walk away after waving and the credits rolling in. An open ending.

406 Name: Couch Potato : 2013-08-28 09:49 ID:+ZLV5l4O

INSTANT REVIEW: FFVII: Advent Children

Probably the shittest movie I've watched up to this date. Nothing interesting going on at all. I don't think I was a fan of the game either. The only good part is, you can watch it in Japanese and that's it.

407 Name: Couch Potato : 2013-11-07 06:01 ID:iX+Iq4cn

INSTANT REVIEW: Man Of Tai Chi

Keanu Reeves is Shang Tsung in Mortal Kombat: Legend Of The Truman Show.

408 Name: Couch Potato : 2013-11-07 20:22 ID:7YtJXYqq

(・ω・\)SAN値!(/・ω・)/ピンチ!(・ω・\)SAN値!(/・ω・)/ピンチ!(・ω・\)SAN値!(/・ω・)/ピンチ!(・ω・\)SAN値!(/・ω・)/ピンチ!

409 Name: Couch Potato : 2013-11-10 00:58 ID:cJ+r6rTS

これはアメリカのゲームです。1度やってみてください。
これは、たった3分でできるゲームです。試してみてください。
驚く結果をご覧いただけます。
このゲームを考えた本人は、メールを読んでからたった10分で願い事が
かなったそうです。このゲームは、おもしろく、かつ、あっと驚く結果を貴方にもたらすでしょう。
約束してください。絶対に先を読まず、1行ずつ進む事。
たった3分ですから、ためす価値ありです。
まず、ペンと、紙をご用意下さい。
先を読むと、願い事が叶わなくなります。
①まず、1番から、11番まで、縦に数字を書いてください。②1番と2番の横に好きな3~7の数字をそれぞれお書き下さい。
③3番と7番の横に知っている人の名前をお書き下さい。(必ず、興味の
ある性別名前を書く事。男なら女の人、女なら男の人、ゲイなら同姓の名
前をかく)
必ず、1行ずつ進んでください。先を読むと、なにもかもなくなります。
④4,5,6番の横それぞれに、自分の知っている人の名前をお書き下さい。これは、家族の人でも知り合いや、友人、誰でも結構です。
まだ、先を見てはいけませんよ!!
⑤8、9、10、11番の横に、歌のタイトルをお書き下さい。
⑥最後にお願い事をして下さい。さて、ゲームの解説です。
1)このゲームの事を、2番に書いた数字の人に伝えて下さい。
2)3番に書いた人は貴方の愛する人です。3)7番に書いた人は、好きだけれど叶わぬ恋の相手です。
4)4番に書いた人は、貴方がとても大切に思う人です。
5)5番に書いた人は、貴方の事をとても良く理解してくれる相手です。
6)6番に書いた人は、貴方に幸運をもたらしてくれる人です。
7)8番に書いた歌は、3番に書いた人を表す歌。
8)9番に書いた歌は、7番に書いた人を表す歌。9)10番に書いた歌は、貴方の心の中を表す歌。
10)そして、11番に書いた歌は、貴方の人生を表す歌です。
この書き込みを読んでから、1時間以内に10個の掲示板にこの書き込みをコピーして貼って下さい。そうすれば、あなたの願い事は叶うでしょう。もし、貼らなければ、願い事を逆のことが起こるでしょう。とても奇妙ですが当たってませんか?

410 Name: Couch Potato : 2013-11-27 15:35 ID:mCjX+Pod

411 Name: Couch Potato : 2014-07-17 03:38 ID:6rzTAo/H

INSTANT REVIEW: Pompeii

Evil Jack Bauer swordfight!

412 Name: Couch Potato : 2014-09-14 00:43 ID:ybHi8SOG

INSTANT REVIEW: Godzilla 2014

f'in awesome even though the big G has put on a lot of weight

413 Name: Couch Potato : 2014-10-19 09:41 ID:tNhvuykf

INSTANT REVIEW: Elysium (2013) (3/5)

Character motivation? Not found. Sci-fi melodrama? 16,653 matches found! It's like District 9, but not as good.

414 Name: Couch Potato : 2014-10-19 09:46 ID:tNhvuykf

INSTANT REVIEW: Philomena (2013) (5/5)

Posters make it look like a comedy. It isn't. Basically, exhibit #1,304,222 in the case against the Catholic Church in Ireland fifty years ago. It's really good.

415 Name: Couch Potato : 2014-10-19 09:53 ID:tNhvuykf

INSTANT REVIEW: How I Live Now (2013) (3/5)

A teenage romance meets Mad Max. Sort of. A vapid teenaged POV of the end of the world, which is kind of interesting, because who cares what adults think? They're old and lame. Fuck you mom and dad. Almost worth it.

416 Name: Couch Potato : 2014-10-19 09:56 ID:tNhvuykf

INSTANT REVIEW: Dallas Buyers Club (2013) (5/5)

The early history of AIDS is fascinating and you should care about it. Matthew McConaughey thought so much of it, he damn near killed himself through starvation for his role in this film.

417 Name: Couch Potato : 2014-10-19 09:59 ID:tNhvuykf

INSTANT REVIEW: Moneyball (2011) (4/5)

You can't buy your way to the baseball playoffs. Oh wait, yes you can. But you can also, math/autism your way into it too. If you don't like sports, don't bother.

418 Name: Couch Potato : 2014-10-19 10:15 ID:tNhvuykf

INSTANT REVIEW: Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003) (2/5)

Pretty much like Star Trek III: it advances the plot in important ways, but overall, it sucks.

419 Name: Couch Potato : 2014-10-19 10:21 ID:tNhvuykf

INSTANT REVIEW: Terminator: Salvation (2009) (3/5)

Given the track record of the series, better than you'd expect. There sure are a lot of beautiful people with perfect teeth, given society collapsed 15 years ago...

420 Name: Couch Potato : 2014-10-19 10:27 ID:tNhvuykf

INSTANT REVIEW: Children Underground (2001) (4/5)

If I commit suicide in the next week, you can go ahead and blame this movie. Jesus Christ...

421 Name: Couch Potato : 2014-10-19 10:40 ID:tNhvuykf

INSTANT REVIEW: The Baader Meinhof Complex (2008) (4/5)

Remember when there were left-wing Palestinian terrorist organizations? Me neither, but this drama about leftist German terrorists is pretty good.

422 Name: Couch Potato : 2014-10-19 10:47 ID:tNhvuykf

INSTANT REVIEW: God Bless America (2011) (4/5)

If you chose to read this thread rather than watch the Real Housewives of New Jersey, you'll probably like this.

423 Name: Couch Potato : 2014-10-19 11:08 ID:tNhvuykf

INSTANT REVIEW: Hedwig and the Angry Inch (2001) (3/5)

An nice little film adaptation of an off-broadway musical about a tranny before being a tranny became passé and rolleyes. I especially like the part about East German gummy bears.

424 Name: Couch Potato : 2014-10-19 11:16 ID:tNhvuykf

INSTANT REVIEW: Munich (2005) (4/5)

Thinking of messing with Israel? Here's why you shouldn't. Mossad don't give a fuck.

425 Name: Couch Potato : 2014-10-19 11:23 ID:tNhvuykf

INSTANT REVIEW: Walk on Water (2004) (4/5)

Mossad continues to not give a fuck. Murders dudes in their 90s for relatively minor war crimes (is there such a thing?). Nice settings/cinematography.

426 Name: Couch Potato : 2014-11-02 07:23 ID:tNhvuykf

INSTANT REVIEW: Dredd (2012) (2/5)

Better than the '95 version, but mostly it's murder porn. If any movie of late deserved an NC-17 for violence, it's this one. Has it's moments, but these are interrupted by fountains of blood.

427 Name: Couch Potato : 2014-11-02 07:28 ID:tNhvuykf

INSTANT REVIEW: Nebraska (2013) (5/5)

My only gripe is that it's in black and white. Otherwise, excellent. Watch it!

428 Name: Couch Potato : 2014-11-02 07:32 ID:tNhvuykf

INSTANT REVIEW: Attack the Block (2011) (3/5)

Would probably be better if I could understand what they're saying. If you like low-class urban English accents, here's the horror-comedy you've been waiting for. Americans: watch with subtitles.

429 Name: Couch Potato : 2014-11-09 10:17 ID:tNhvuykf

INSTANT REVIEW: The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014) (3/5)

A weak showing by Wes Anderson, but still quite good if you like his work. Ralph Fiennes can do comedy too, turns out.

430 Name: Couch Potato : 2014-11-15 10:04 ID:tNhvuykf

INSTANT REVIEW: Interstellar (2014) (4/5)

High concepts, beautiful filmmaking, and Matthew McConaughey IN SPACE. It'll get you thinking. Pretty good.

431 Name: Couch Potato : 2014-11-23 08:56 ID:tNhvuykf

INSTANT REVIEW: Silver Linings Playbook (2012) (3/5)

Has some good performances. De Niro being De Niro is a bit distracting, though. Trigger warning: dance competition.

432 Name: Couch Potato : 2014-11-23 09:01 ID:tNhvuykf

INSTANT REVIEW: Grey Gardens (1975) (2/5)

Those harpies shouting EDITH! at one another from across their dilapidated mansion will be the only thing you'll hear in your nightmares for weeks. Groundbreaking and often referenced in popular culture, but not worth it.

433 Name: Couch Potato : 2014-11-23 09:22 ID:tNhvuykf

INSTANT REVIEW: Upstream Color (2013) (3/5)

At-times inept dialog and sound mixing balanced out by a mind-blowing concept and a unique visual presentation.

434 Name: Couch Potato : 2014-12-20 09:30 ID:tNhvuykf

INSTANT REVIEW: Lincoln (2012) (3/5)

A fine piece of American propaganda that will only appeal to Americans. Basically a good way to string together clever anecdotes about Lincoln. Foreigners won't even know who that is.

435 Name: Couch Potato : 2014-12-20 09:34 ID:tNhvuykf

INSTANT REVIEW: Looper (2012) (4/5)

This review is nearly three years late, so I'll just go ahead and spoil it: if more than one time traveler tries to kill you kid, you can safely assume your kid is Future Hitler.

436 Name: Couch Potato : 2014-12-20 09:44 ID:tNhvuykf

INSTANT REVIEW: Hobo with a Shotgun (2011) (3/5)

Dumb as hell, but shot in an interesting way. If the trailer from Grindhouse appealed to you, you'll probably get a kick out of it.

437 Name: Couch Potato : 2015-01-10 10:16 ID:tNhvuykf

INSTANT REVIEW: The Rover (2014) (3/5)

Another pointless plot that could have been cleared up with this new thing they have called "wroting" or whatever it's called. Gains points mostly for its cool dystopian setting and proving that the male lead from those teenage vampire movies can actually act.

438 Name: Couch Potato : 2015-03-23 20:56 ID:W9n3RelG

Read the entire thread from top to bottom. Good job.

439 Name: Couch Potato : 2015-05-20 14:55 ID:Heaven

>reads tread
> all posts sound the like same cancer
> are the same cancer

440 Name: Couch Potato : 2015-05-24 01:14 ID:Heaven

>>439
I think you're the one who's the cancer here, buddy.

441 Name: Couch Potato : 2015-05-31 10:42 ID:tNhvuykf

INSTANT REVIEW: Mad Max: Fury Road (2015) (4/5)

This series keeps increasing the action somehow. Given that, I can only assume the next one will cause half of all otherwise healthy adults viewing it to drop dead from heart attacks. JESUS.

442 Post deleted.

443 Name: Couch Potato : 2015-06-21 11:04 ID:tNhvuykf

INSTANT REVIEW: Shoot 'Em Up (2007) (2.5/5)

I'm left wondering how one trains for skydiving gun battles and why you'd have so many people qualified to do so on staff. The rest of the movie is entirely plausible, of course.

444 Name: zelda : 2015-08-08 01:54 ID:fSzz/iFr

445 Post deleted.

446 Post deleted.

447 Name: Couch Potato : 2015-09-26 06:47 ID:tNhvuykf

INSTANT REVIEW: Coherence (2013) (3/5)

Every character in this is so insufferable you'll be hoping something bad will happen to them. You won't be disappointed. A nice little low-budget mind-fuck.

448 Name: Couch Potato : 2015-11-25 19:42 ID:26cKov7H

INSTANT REVIEW: The Raid - Redemption (2011) (1.5/5)

Pretty shitty action movie. Has an ok soundtrack though.

449 Name: Couch Potato : 2016-01-03 09:11 ID:tNhvuykf

INSTANT REVIEW: Spectre (2015) (4/5)

It's like they have a checklist of types of fights to have in the movie: fist, gun, knife, etc. That got mixed up with their list of cool vehicles to include somehow. You won't be bored.

450 Name: 705 : 2016-01-03 17:10 ID:lA5fB7QH

Twitter sighing and video of Tom in a restaurant, didn't see EO but then again maybe Tom got her a bigger purse to hide behind for Christmas.

451 Name: 705 : 2016-01-03 17:11 ID:lA5fB7QH

Oh sorry I posted that in the wrong thread.. Oops.

452 Name: Couch Potato : 2016-01-25 00:57 ID:tNhvuykf

INSTANT REVIEW: The Hateful Eight (2015) (4/5)

It's like The Mousetrap but with foul language and violence. Not sure why this had to be on 70mm film, since most of it takes place indoors (if you can call it indoors), but whatever.

453 Name: Couch Potato : 2016-02-27 05:14 ID:tNhvuykf

INSTANT REVIEW: The Big Short (2015) (5/5)

Everyone in Hollywood and Anthony Bourdain explain the 2008 banking crisis with a healthy spoonful of gallows humor. Financial thriller/comedy is a genre that needs expansion.

454 Name: Couch Potato : 2016-02-27 05:21 ID:tNhvuykf

INSTANT REVIEW: Deadpool (2016) (3/5)

Not a fan of superhero stuff, but he's not much of a hero. Probably even funnier if you understand the comic book references. I had a good time.

455 Name: Couch Potato : 2016-02-27 07:11 ID:tNhvuykf

INSTANT REVIEW: Hail, Caesar! (2016) (4/5)

If you've seen any movie from the 1950s, you'll understand. It's light on plot, but heavy on choreography. Like every movie from the 1950s, come to think of it.

456 Name: Couch Potato : 2016-03-25 06:12 ID:tNhvuykf

INSTANT REVIEW: Batman vs. Superman (2016) (2/5)

I was contractually obligated to see this movie. Every character in this movie was contractually obligated to be there too. Ben Affleck's chin stars and written by some ten year-old, I'm guessing.

457 Name: Couch Potato : 2016-04-24 18:47 ID:tNhvuykf

INSTANT REVIEW: Everest (2015) (2/5)

The story is basically everyone dies, one guy lives. It could have been fleshed out with some mountain climbing action, but it isn't.

458 Name: Couch Potato : 2016-06-15 15:57 ID:P55Uxe4t

INSTANT REVIEW: Warcraft (2016) (4/5)

A video game movie with pacing issues, giving much focus to characters of little to no importance. Looks pretty. Sounds pretty. Does not require knowledge of the video game before watching.

459 Name: Couch Potato : 2016-06-20 01:18 ID:lrAyR5FF

INSTANT REVIEW: Videodrome (1982) (4/5)

Deeply unsettling. The owner of a sleazy television station intercepts an extremely violent television broadcast from a satellite and finds himself involved in something much stranger than he bargained for. Existenz was a poor copy of this. Graphic sex, violence, sexual violence. Extremely unreliable narrator.

460 Name: Couch Potato : 2016-07-31 07:14 ID:tNhvuykf

INSTANT REVIEW: Star Trek Beyond (2016) (3/5)

Fast & Furious In Space was too outlandish even for those guys, so instead they made this. It works. Maybe the odd-numbered ones will be the good ones this time around.

461 Name: Sosorry : 2016-08-20 02:39 ID:eJagjsHk

Tom just tweeted about vulnerable children in Africa. Admirable. I think he's trying to reclaim his prior image as a humanitarian/thespian. Let's light a candle that he can phase shift away from the relationship spectacle tabloid stories.

Tom Hiddleston Verified account 
‏@twhiddleston
This is very frightening. Child soldier "nightmare" could be imminent in South Sudan - UNICEF: http://tmsnrt.rs/2bBY0u1 @UNICEF_uk
5:19 PM - 19 Aug 2016

462 Name: Couch Potato : 2016-08-24 03:31 ID:iKrVJJmd

INSTANT REVIEW: The X-Files (Fight the Future) (1998) (5/5)

Plays out like an extended episode of The X-Files. If you like the X-Files, you'll love the movie too. If you've never seen it before, probably not the best introduction. Scully is cute as hell too. Lots of tundras. The return of the Black Oil.

463 Name: Couch Potato : 2016-08-31 05:14 ID:tNhvuykf

INSTANT REVIEW: Don't Breathe (2015) (1/5)

It isn't scary enough to cover up the thin plot. The twist isn't enough to cover up the shallow characters. However, it does get this year's award for least-realistic HVAC system in cinema, which is good for a laugh.

464 Name: Couch Potato : 2016-08-31 05:16 ID:tNhvuykf

Supposed to be (2016). That's one more swipe at this: it felt like this was would have been ground-breaking in the distant past.

465 Name: Couch Potato : 2016-09-04 01:27 ID:xjcHQwQt

[b]INSTANT REVIEW:[/b] The China Syndrome (1979) (4/5)

It's very exciting. Pro-nuclear power types might feel uneasy for obvious reasons, but the movie doesn't feel too hysterical in dealing with the subject matter and remains tense to the very end. I want to gush about the ending because I really liked it: particularly the bit in the control room - but instead I'll just SCRAM the review here to keep it short.

466 Name: Couch Potato : 2016-09-04 17:03 ID:tNhvuykf

INSTANT REVIEW: The Nice Guys (2016) (3/5)

One of the best buddy cop pictures in a long time with a great setting. Unfortunately, if you've seen the trailer, you've seen all the best parts. If you haven't, you're in luck!

467 Name: Couch Potato : 2016-09-16 04:25 ID:WK/eU9J4

INSTANT REVIEW: Limits Of Control (2009) (3/5)

Beautiful cinematography is the real highlight of a film that is slow with an insubstantial story.

468 Name: Couch Potato : 2016-09-22 17:40 ID:5h2qMXsR

INSTANT REVIEW: The Giver

Basically Brave New World with film tropes from Logan's Run to Pleasantville. Secret appearance by Taylor Swift!

469 Name: Couch Potato : 2016-10-16 03:15 ID:Heaven

INSTANT REVIEW: Citizen X (1995) (3/5)

It's a serial killer investigation with light gore set in the Soviet Union. I'm sold on that specific combination, but it's not actually very good. You can safely skip it despite the artificially high score.

470 Name: Couch Potato : 2016-11-19 15:44 ID:tNhvuykf

INSTANT REVIEW: Doctor Strange (2016) (4/5)

It's like Iron Man with magic. Well, more magic, I guess. Not a fan of comic book stuff, but I had a good time.

471 Name: Couch Potato : 2016-12-03 09:42 ID:tNhvuykf

INSTANT REVIEW: Arrival (2016) (4/5)

It's nice to see some genuinely interesting sci-fi, but there's a whole subplot I just don't understand. Like, ethically. I enjoyed the ride anyway.

472 Name: Couch Potato : 2016-12-16 07:13 ID:tNhvuykf

INSTANT REVIEW: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016) (4/5)

Not a rehash, which is nice. Stunning visuals. It's really too bad George Lucas didn't sell out sooner. Destroy your copies of the prequels to increase the chances that they'll become apocryphal in the distant future.

473 Post deleted.

474 Name: Couch Potato : 2016-12-16 11:17 ID:tNhvuykf

apocryphal isn't the word I'm thinking of. A myth?

475 Name: gill : 2017-01-13 10:05 ID:4Oy8ja09

476 Name: Couch Potato : 2017-03-10 22:16 ID:pQYGiisb

INSTANT REVIEW: Logan (2017) (3/5)

Patrick Stewart brings his A-game to a B-movie. Probably the best Wolverine movie, but that's not exactly praise.

477 Name: Couch Potato : 2017-07-22 19:43 ID:pQYGiisb

INSTANT REVIEW: Dunkirk (2017) (2/5)

There was a man outside the theater playing guitar and not singing, but instead just screaming. That's an interesting artistic choice, but not a good one. Pretty much sums up this movie for me.

478 Name: Couch Potato : 2018-05-25 11:24 ID:WK4W159s

INSTANT REVIEW: Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018) (3/5)

No Rogue One, but it's still fun. Sassy bot is underplayed, if you were wondering. Also, may be the first Star Wars movie to make a convincing case for the empire being truly evil, which is coming awfully late for this series.

479 Name: Couch Potato : 2018-06-01 15:19 ID:clQNZ48E

INSTANT REVIEW:A Fine, Windy Day (1980)
is a 1980 South Korean film written and directed by Lee Jang-ho.

I always knew that basically South Korea is just a rich Uzbekistan. They don't have ANY kind of culture. The level of poverty is shocking, and unless you're a lawyer or a media tycoon, your life in this country would be pure hell. fuck korea

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