INSTANT REVIEW : Closer
A movie about 4 people who know how to cheat on each other.
Natalie Portman still sucks at acting.
INSTANT REVIEW: Any Adam Sandler movie ever
Adam Sandler does funny shit and has a retarded voice.
He falls out with his love interest halfway through the
movie only to win her back in the end.
INSTANT REVIEW: Kite (animu)
sex and attractive hitmen/woman.
INSTANT REVIEW: Wild Zero
/b/ in movie form like visitor q
I wouldn't use the word "funny" to describe Adam Sandler. Maybe "stupid" or even "dumbass", but not funny.
INSTANT REVIEW: Harvey (1950)
Lol Donnie Darko ripoff
>>105
protip: 1950 comes before whenever donnie darko was released
Forbidden Planet
Always read the owners manual before opperating strange alien devices with limited power.
INSTANT REVIEW: Pretty in Pink
Is that the guy from Two and a Half Men?
INSTANT REVIEW: Stranger Than Fiction
Wait, what the fuck's going on? Is the story even going anywhere?
LOOK OUT, A LOT OF REVIEWS.
INSTANT REVIEW: Rush Hour 3
Rush Hour 1 and 2, set in France.
INSTANT REVIEW: Napoleon Dynamite
My friends are assholes. This movie isn't funny, it's shit.
INSTANT REVIEW: 300
Keep the sound on mute, play heavy metal music instead, and fast forward through any parts that feature talking. It makes the movie so much better.
INSTANT REVIEW: FLCL
Sex jokes and deep hidden meanings coated with action, more sex jokes, and crazy shit.
INSTANT REVIEW: Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
See "INSTANT REVIEW: 300".
INSTANT REVIEW: The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
If anything, you'll learn what the anthropic principle is by the end of the series.
INSTANT REVIEW: King Kong
Bestiality.
It was right the first time.
ROCKY 1:
Kinda sorta alright and then awesome when they get to the BOXAN.
ROCKY 2:
Same deal as Rocky 1 except the fight was epic as fuck.
I should watch ROCKY 3 sometime. It's been on my computer for months now.
INSTANT REVIEW: Inland Empire
Random shit thrown together.
INSTANT REVIEW: Die Hard With A Vengeance
Jeremy Irons camps it up as a vaguely German villain who is somehow not a Nazi. Samuel Jackson threatens to shove a lightning bolt up the ass of Bruce Willis, who for his part is Having A Very Bad Day and Gettin' Too Old For This Shit.
INSTANT REVIEW: Rendition
lol suicide bombs and torture wtf
INSTANT REVIEW: Any Tyler Perry Movie
A woman gets beat. Madea comes to the rescue.
INSTANT REVIEW: Team America: World Police
South Park with puppets. Theme song kicks ass.
Instant Review: Boondock Saints
Alcoholic micks rip off every 90's action cliche in the book and make anyone with an IQ below 100 think they've seen the greatest movie ever.
INSTANT REVIEW: Leon
loli + assassin + Gary Oldman = INSTANT WIN
INSTANT REVIEW: The Paycheck
Ben Affleck really is a good looking man. Never really appreciated that until now. Alas, J-Lo kinda made him lame.
INSTANT REVIEW: Marie Antoinette
The Pre-Reincarnated Paris Hilton tells france to eat cake and spends half the movie waiting for the prince to fuck her. Trippy colours and music, non-existant story-line
INSTANT REVIEW: Beowulf
I am the Terror that Flaps in the night.
I am the winged Scourge that pecks at your nigthmares.
I Am Darkwing Duck!
INSTANT REVIEW: Die Hard
Bruce Willis is an average cop who can kill terrorists with ease, yet keeps stepping on glass.
INSTANT REVIEW: THE BIG COMBO
Oh man, Mr. Brown is an awesome asshole.
INSTANT REVIEW: Alpha Dog
15 year-old virgin has a 3-way in a pool with 2 hot chicks, ensuring that he dies happy later that night.
INSTANT REVIEW: Happiness (1998)
Of all the movies I've seen involving pederasty (two), this one is the funniest.
INSTANT REVIEW: Juno
Take Napoleon Dynamite. Instead of a Idahoan loser, take a selfconscious and laid-back Minnesota girl. Instead of a dance contest, take a pregnancy. Instead of lighthearted fluff, take some serious shit she needs to deal with.
That's the movie the director saw in this screenplay. And it wasn't bad. But with a different directory this amazing screenplay could have flowered to life.
INSTANT REVIEW: Hackers
Matthew Lillard was robbed at the Oscars that year.
INSTANT REVIEW: Bridge to Terabithia
Why did'nt you invite her, you HEARTLESS FUCKER. She loved you, you know that don't you?
INSTANT REVIEW: Death Proof
Gah, feet. Feet. FEEEEEEET.
INSTANT REVIEW: Bridge to Terabithia
read the book, then fap to annasphia robb separately for best of both worlds
INSTANT REVIEW: RAMBO
PURE, CONCENTRATED MANLINESS with 2.56 KILLS/MINUTE.
INSTANT REVIEW: CLOVERFIELD
IT'S A CRAB.
Instant review: THE HOST
What a monster movie it is!
Does anyone know where I can find the soundtrack to the movie? I can only find the soundtrack to the show online and it's really frustrating!!!
INSTANT REVIEW: Angst essen Seele auf
Ali's German is very gute!! One of those rare movies which shows all the awful and wonderful parts of love and hides nothing. It won't make you jealous to be single! Also the camera work is superb.
INSTANT REVIEW: Heavy Metal
Hearing John Candy's voice while I watch rotoscoped tits makes me feel all funny inside.
any review for "Jumper"?
INSTANT REVIEW: Jumper
"Man, that Nightcrawler movie was awesome"
>>147 good idea, bad execution.
"hey i seemingly died 8 years ago, wanna go to rome?"
i agree with couch potato. the "jumper" concept was really good however the movie was boring.
INSTANT REVIEW: Phone Booth (2002)
"Who is calling me? How do you know who I am? Did you just fucking shoot that lady? Oh lawd, bean bag guns! Hey, you're right in front of me but I can't do jack shit!" - End movie.
INSTANT REVIEW: Loose Change
Jews Did WTC
Been seeing a lot of movies lately...
Invasion of the Body Snatchers: Good, despite the extreme fiftiesness. The Doctor's girlfriend kind of pissed me off.
Amelie: I could really relate to Amelie's life. Her shyness, her wonder at the world... I just wish I knew where to find a boy in a photobooth.
Hinokio: Awww, cute robot love. <3
INSTANT REVIEW: Suspect Zero
"I'm not really Gandhi, OK?"
INSTANT REVIEW: Battles Without Honor And Humanity
Blarg im ded
INSTANT REVIEW: Sleeping Beauty
Not the "girly" princess movie everybody assumes it to be
INSTANT REVIEW: No Country for Old Men
These kids these days with their drug running and their gruesome psychopathic assassins. I wish my dad was here, he'd know what to do.
INSTANT REVIEW: No Country for Old Men
Not as good as Fargo.
Gee, that really narrows it down, as nearly every movie ever made is not as good as Fargo.
INSTANT REVIEW: doomsday
resident evil + madmax + king author
was only entertaining in laughing at how bad it was. and actually that was pretty entertaining
INSTANT REVIEW: Meet the Spartans
Epic Movie has more class
INSTANT REVIEW: TRANSFORMERS LiveAction
Acting is bad, robots all look alike, hope they never make a second NO WAIT GAAAAAAH
INSTANT REVIEW: Dark City
I like the Matrix better overall, but I prefer this movie's production design, since we never spend a single minute in a "real world" setting that looks like a sewage treatment plant.
INSTANT REVIEW: Total Recall
When I was ten years old this was The Best Movie Ever Made. It still kicks all kind of ass but my tastes have matured. Now, whenever I get the opportunity, I claim the book was better although I've never actually read it.
INSTANT REVIEW: Juno
Teenage pregnancy is a-okay if you have a bunch of 'thrift store' clothes and an impenetrable command of the latest slang!
INSTANT REVIEW: Speed Racer
Kickass car-fu, and a monkey throwing shit.
INSTANT REVIEW: 1408
OMG...weird shit! Why is it snowing? Sketchy oscar-grabbing by John Cusack, absolutely no explanation for anything. LSD required.
INSTANT REVIEW: 1408
OMG...weird shit! Why is it snowing? Sketchy oscar-grabbing by John Cusack, absolutely no explanation for anything. LSD required.
INSTANT REVIEW : Anatomy
great if you like foreign films about people getting turned into wax statues for a secret research society
INSTANT REVIEW: Queen Me
nice if you like to see an over weight girl crying every 10 minutes
INSTANT REVIEW: 13 tzameti
The Real Fight Club
Look it up
I LOVE INSTANT REVIEWS
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
INSTANT REVIEW: The Zeitgeist
Movie makes claims, some are better made than others, people argue on the internet.
INSTANT REVIEW: Cat Soup
Wat
INSTANT REVIEW: Paprika
Best detective film ever for those who don't like detective films
INSTANT REVIEW: bicycle thieves
A kid finds a job that requires a bike, looks for a bike, gets a bike, bike gets stolen. Deep post-war social commentary.
INSTANT REVIEW: La Terra Trema
Movie about the lives of fishermen, who are played by real fishermen.
INSTANT REVIEW: Germany Year Zero
Kid does A LOT OF WALKING and finds random shit in junkyards to sell
INSTANT REVIEW: The Wildbunch
Cowboys kill lots of people. They then get killed by lots of people.
INSTANT REVIEW: Batman: The Dark Knight
WTF GO SEE IT
INSTANT REVIEW: The Dark Knight
Its only now that I'm sad about Heath Ledger's death
INSTANT REVIEW: Hot fuzz
so funny,good temp story
INSTANT REVIEW: Clerks
Life is always shit, but it's funny when the shit is happening to other people. Also, people talk a lot.
INSTANT REVIEW: The Dark Knight
I don't even remember the comics being this good. In fact, I remember barely any comics that were this good.
INSTANT REVIEW: The Machine Girl
Drill bra!
INSTANT REVIEW: I like it hot
Lesbian teenagers are indeed hot!!
INSTANT REVIEW: clerks 2
contains bonus instant review of LOTR
INSTANT REVIEW: The Dark Knight
Best. movie. ever.
INSTANT REVIEW: God Speed You! Black Emperor
I totally want to buy a Kawasaki motorcycle and put a gigantic back seat on it.
instant review: natural born killers
woody harrelson plays his father
INSTANT REVIEW: Apocalypse Now - Redux
Cool color correction
INSTANT REVIEW: The Naked City
Like a really long episode of Law & Order. Decent footage of New York in the 40's though.