I get up and find another 80 posts! I love the back and forth on this board. Some thoughts:
http://theopiniondominion.tumblr.com/post/146899921683
10 years ago I dated a guy who confided in me that all he wanted was to be the cool guy in the in-crowd. He'd grown up as the super-smart nerd, took awhile to come into himself physically (he's a handsome, Viking-looking guy, a pale long haired redhead), and was finally with the right crowd. We broke up because we grew apart and then he met the rockstar our broader social circle, and they've been together ever since, despite the fact that a number of people think he's a condescending asshole. He's happy, fuck everyone else.