I love this response from reddit:

"I'm not sure how to convince you in a few sentences that this is the way to go given your situation, but:

1. Download PLT scheme
2. Use the free How to Design Programs book

"If you put effort into that, you'll have a very, very good foundation for learning more about programming. I would strongly recommend against anything else for someone with no programming experience. I'd be willing to fight someone with rocks on this point."