>>0, why are you in the refrigerator?

>>2, I have no advice at this time.

>>641 Do you know what would happen if tobacco products were taxed even more heavily than they already are?

>>643 Zapping things with a huge laser, recording it, then showing the footage on YouTube.

>>642
What's the most irresponsible thing you've done with space program funds?

>>644
Down the street from the Unholy Citadel.

>>643 I think I've got the wrong door, can you tell me where the leather club is?

>>645 I'm no doctor but it's definitely NOT supposed to bend that way.

>>644
Hey, you have a PhD in materials science, don't you? Look, this stick of chalk is tied in a knot!

>>646
Love.

>>645
Why did you burn down that house, anyway?

>>647
Zucchini bread and spiders.

>>646
I have come up with the perfect recipe for blue waffle, stalagmite and bovril soup but can't think of a good accompaniment. Any suggestions?

>>648
Of course! I loved "Shit My Dentist Used To Say Before I Removed Her Lower Jaw".

Hi guys

I remember speaking to someone from your company about the global vape shop database I am using for my ejuice brand.

I think this is the link to the official sales page: https://bit.ly/2V3ZKAU

I could of course send you my copy of the database but I think it is best if you get your own copy to get all the latest updates.

I hope that helps.

>>648 You came back too far, you haven't had that conversation with anyone from my company yet!

>>650 It's possible to make it too tight, so just be careful.

>>649
Any medical risk associated with being tight-fisted?

>>651
So he obtained that girl's phone number without waking her up.

>>650
Why did that guy hire a mind-reader at the middle of the night?

>>652
The personality of a fire based magic user.

>>651
What kind of personality does a fire based magic user have?

>>653
62.34 inches in length and 43.87 in width, obviously

>>652
What are the ideal dimensions of a fantasy penis?

>>654
Twelve. Ask for more than that and I'll kill you

>>653
How many times may I have sex with your grandfather?

>>655
No, your sweat pores weren't made for that.

>>654
Can I sweat red Gatorade like the people do in television commercials?

>>656
Mocking people who say "You are what you eat."

>>655
Why are you, a 24 year old man, on a timeout during thanksgiving?
>>657
Yes, but don't let anyone from Texas hear you say that

>>656
When I say "I hate garlic toast" then why do you get so worried?
>>658
The smell of Centorea

>>657
Who? Is this another one of your "Friends"?
>>669
My mouth is a desert

>>659 I want to see LARPers have a sword fight. How would I convince them to do that outside the renaissance fair?

>>661 Megaman X9 for the Playstation 5 and Microsoft Scorpio.

>>660 As a time traveller from the year 2993, what is the next Mighty No.9 and Ouya, respectively?

>>662 There are walls to your left and below you. You can sense pizza, but not ghosts or houses.

>>661 what would happen if I typed "> Look around" in this bishoujo horror adventure game?
>>663 probably Grandpa

>>662 Edward Snowden's favourite 2ch AA character?

>>664 Yes, but Marie Curie would be rolling in her grave.

>>663 Is it fun to play Polandball with Polonium?

>>665 The social cost of obese cigarette smokers.

>>665 Why is my GF's spelling so shit?

>>667 Have fun blowing yourself up.

>>666 I'm about to light up this cigarette at a gas station, for the glory of Satan of course. Any tips?

>>668 Big Structural I-beams.

>>667 How I make my house look fancier?

>>669 Drop a Hydrogen Bomb on it.

>>668 How can I eradicate pasta sauce stains from my shirt quickly and easily?

>>670 I suggest therapy

>>669 How do I get out of this insane asylum?

>>671 Poke it with a cattle prod.

>>670 How do you get pikachu on a bus?

>>672 Change the name to "poop club"

>>671 How do I get more people to join my cult?

>>673 [THIS ANSWER WAS REMOVED BY THE GOVERNMENT]

>>672 What line should I use as the clincher to the alt-right conspiracy theory I'm making?
>>674 Perhaps letting it sit in vinegar.

>>673 How do I make my sick Cat better?

>>675 Suplex it; pro-wrestling style!

>>674 What's the best way to dip biscuits into a hot drink, to get maximum flavour saturation without completely sacrificing biscuit rigidity?

>>676 Fumble around the edge until you find some leverage, and start from there. That goes for you too >>840

>>675
I'm trying to move house but I only have this crowbar. How?

>>677
Plant it 2 months in advance.

>>676 what's the best way to insure that I get that gymnastics world record before anyone else?

>>678 It needs more cats

>>677 How would you describe the Yulin province meat festival?

>>679 A map of all the provinces in China.

>>678 What would you draw if you wanted to experience Laogai?

>>680 Five on the top shelf, nine underneath.

>>679 Where are the stolen goods?

>>681 Extinguish the sun.

>>680 What will pissing into an upside-down telescope do?

>>682 I left it there and forgot about it, okay?!

>>681 Why is there a piece of shit on my chair?

>>683 I just sent it to you ;)

>>682 Where can I find the meaning of life?

>>684 Drink liquid Nitrogen.

>>683 How can I freeze my stomach?

>>685 Simple, you must start a revolution!

>>684 Nobody ever taught me how to dance dance. What do I do first?

>>686 Learn magic

>>685 How do I cast "web"?

>>687 Twice a week, except leap days.

>>686 How often should I shampoo my hair?

>>688 Close your eyes and magic will happen.

>>687 Why are you in my room at dead midnight?

>>689 I agree that three rights make a left but you lost me on the other one.

>>688 If you think about it, Trump, Boris and Arlene are actually pretty egalitarian. Anyway, can't wait to see Corbyn win this one.

>>690 No.

>>689 Am I real?

>>691 Shoot it until it dies.

>>690 How do I satisfy the cybersex demon?

>>692 Yes!

>>691 Who's the best prog rock band?

>>693 Not if you want to keep that finger.

>>692 Can I stick my finger in a pencil sharpener to sharpen my fingernail?

>>694 Only on Tuesdays.

>>693 I tried the succubus summoning ritual for 6 days. Does it ever work?

>>695 The girls from Dead Or Alive playing by Keijo rules.

>>694 What gives you a boner?

>>696 Those make HORRIBLE pets.

>>695 Why is Harley Quinn the only person who is portrayed with hyenas?

>>697 The uncensored version of Beetle Bailey.

>>696 What's something that can help me fall asleep?

>>698 Find a black bear and hug it.

>>697 How can I experience a softness worth dying for?
>>699 The name of your first pet spelled backwards.

>>698 What would make a badass name for my new D&D character?

>>700 Go to Antarctica and live with the Penguins.

>>699 What would be the cutest death I could ask for?
>>701 Put it underwater for 2 hours then wash it with body lotion.

>>700 My butt has a small man growing out if it, what should I do?

>>702 Donkey Kong 64.

>>701 What's a good substitute for a butt plug?

>>703 I'd tell you, but then I'd be forced to kill you, and I don't wanna have to deal with body disposal.

>>702 What’s up, dude?

>>704 It is because you are afraid.

>>703 Why did I print 72 copies of the script to the Angry Birds movie?

>>705 Shove it up your ass.

>>704 I have removed the small man out of my arse, what should I do with it?

>>706 No matter what happens, do not touch it!

>>705 Sparks are flying out of my light switch. Since I can't afford an electrician, what can I do?

>>707 The dangers of 6G wireless telephone networks.

>>706 What's something that can take my mind off of my brain cancer?

>>708 It needs to be plugged into the wall first.

>>707 Why won't my fleshlight work?

>>709 Only if you give me that hat and all the money you've got on you.

>>708 Can I steal your soul for my collection?

>>710 Put it in the freezer.

>>709 How do I hide this corpse from the police bloodhounds?

>>711 A good way to make the crime scene look like an accident.

>>710 What'll happen if I bury this corpse in several feet of snow?

>>712 You're gonna need a bigger boat.

>>711 I can't travel with my voleyball, what do I do?

>>713 You better change it.

>>712 How do I prevent myself from watching Godzilla all day?

>>714 Domesticate a pet Bear.

>>713 I wanna name something Kuma. What should I do?

>>715 I don't know, probably around 15 feet.

>>714 What do you reckon is in the perp's browser history?

>>716 Keep that up and you'll find out exactly how it works.

>>715 How does banning work on this site?

>>717 If you're suicidal, then go for it.

>>718 How do you deal with online censorship?

>>720 It may be difficult, but it will be worth it in the end.

>>719 Will I ever find true love?

>>721 $17.65

>>720 If you could ascribe a monetary value to your own life, what'd it be?

>>722 A pair of trousers and a wallet.

>>721 How did you identify that guy on the evening news who drowned in a lake?

>>723 The most creative way anybody has used to kill a spider.

>>722 What'll I get if I combine Tin Foil, gunpowder, tree sap, and a spiderweb?

>>724 Ask your mom.

>>723 Dad, can I go to the party?

>>725 A new bomb formula.

>>724 What's something I can use liquid Oxygen for?

>>726 It has already begun...

>>725 When will people see that vaping nicotine is deadly?

>>727 The horse that Kim Jong Un was riding.

>>726 What's for dinner?

>>728 It's because you touch yourself at night.

>>727 Why do I feel nervous when talking to strangers?

>>729 Look at the time.

>>728 When will WWIII begin?

>>730 You need to solve the Captcha first.

>>729 Why can't I hack the FBI?

>>731 Put your scuba and dive in.

>>730 How can I find out what's at the core of a volcano?

>>732 Use both hands.

>>731 How do I stop cutting my fingers on the blender?

>>733 Kick it again.

>>732 My hamster has stopped working, what do I do?

>>734 Dance on top of it.

>>733 How do I hide a dead body?

>>735 You could certainly come up with a better name than that.

>>734 I chose the name "My Rock Band" for my rock band, why don't you approve?

>>736 A Mai Shiranui oppai mousepad.

>>735 I've won 4000 tickets playing skee-ball. What can I get?

>>737 Eggs.

>>736 What is a food you hate?

>>738 Blame El Salvador.

>>737 Why can't Latin America have nice things?

>739 you have two choices, and neither of them look good.

>>738 how do i seduce my cat?

>>740 horse cock

>>739 What's the most exotic delicacy you've ever had?

>>741 Point at it and laugh.

>>740 How do I stop Australia fires?

>>742 Deodorant spray would be a good choice.