( ´ﾟωﾟ`) Especially all those really annoying things like breathing and bowel movement
( ´ﾟωﾟ`) I always hated that
(・∀・) Grandpa, what was life like before you died?
( ´ﾟωﾟ`) Nasty, brutish, and short.
(・∀・) Grandpa, Grandpas don't have short lives. You can't have the cake and eat it too.
( ´ﾟωﾟ`) I can eat whatever the fucking cake I goddamn well like, jiior.
( ´ﾟωﾟ`) shimely
(・∀・) Grandpa, what are those things on your face? They don't look like your eyes or at least what I thought your eyes were.
(・∀・) Grandpa, why don;t you answer me?!
◢░ ▄▅ ▅▄ ░◣
▐░:: ▀ ▀ ::░▍
▐░:: ▂ ▂ :::░▍
▌░:: :: ▐:: ▄ ▀▄ :: :::░▌
▐▓░░:: ▋::: ▅▀ ::░▋ ::::░▓▌
▐▓▓░░:::: :: ▊░:::▊ ▊:::░▊ :: ::::░▓▋
▀█▓▓░░:::: :: ▀▀ ▀▀ :::░▓█▀
(・∀・) GRANDPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
( ´ω`) Yes?
(・∀・) Oh thank goodness, you're back to normal. So... Why didn't you answer me?
( ´ω`) Not that you seemed to care, but I was DEAD!
( ・-・) Pssssssh. I've been dead lots of times.
(・∀・) Show me, lol.
( ´ω`) Is your name Kenny?
( ´ﾟωﾟ`) durrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
(・∀・) Grandpa did you forget the electric toothbrush in your mouth again?
( ´ω`) You used to be a lot better with the setup questions, Timmy.
(・∀・) Grandpa, is it true that before the war, he Emperor allotted two Corean slaves to every household?
( ´ω`) Coreans wern't even good as slaves Junior, we just used them for food and bloodsport.
i eat poo
(・∀・) Grandpa, I just got done with Slayers NEXT. Is Slayers TRY just as good?
( ´ω`) They never have, and I don't think ever will, surpass Reign In Blood
(・∀・) Grandpa, How do I defeat posting barrier?
( ´ω`) With a series of tubes!
(・∀・) Grandpa, I was thinking of joining a japanese baseball team. Can you think of a good cheer for me?
(・∀・) Yo gramps, what was your role in the Great War?
( ´ω`) I was a sperm cell in the testicle that didn't get shot off.
(・∀・) Grandpa, how can you be talking still if you are dead? Dead people can't be alive!
( ´ω`) Junior, sometimes people do not die when they are killed.
(・∀・) So you wouldn't die, even if we killed you?
( ´ω`) Son, you can't kill that which is already dead.
(・∀・) But that which is dead must eternal lie!
( ´ω`) And with strange eons even death may die.
(・∀・) Did we just share a moment Grandpa?
(・∀・) What was your role in the Vietnam War?
( ´ω`) Our country wasn't involved in Vietnam. While the Americans were fighting a futile war, we were undergoing a period of rapid industrialization and modernization. By the time The United States left Southeast Asia with its tail between its legs, our country's name was no longer associated with cheap, low-quality goods as China's is today, but high-quality goods on the cutting edge of technology such as automobiles and electronics.
( ´ω`) To answer your question, I was a gigolo while that was going on.
( ´ω`) We constantly share moments, Timmy, but not of them bond me closer to you.
(・∀・) My name's not Timmy.
( ´ω`) Sorry, sometimes these things just slip my mind, Timmy.
(・∀・) Grandpa, why don't you call me Junior anymore?
( ´ω`) Junior, I love yoZZZZZzzzz
(・∀・) YES!? What is it?
( ´ω`) ZZZZ oh I love your hot mom my son married.
(・∀・)
( ´ω`)
(・∀・)
( ´ω`) ...
(・∀・) i... i.. i love you grandpa!
( ´ﾟωﾟ`)
(ﾟ∀ﾟ)
( ´ω`) That look doesn't work for you at all, Jimmy.
(ﾟ∀ﾟ)
(・∀・) Granpa, what was your role in the Boer War?
( ´ω`) I stood off to one side of the battle and sold candy bars and bottles of water for a dollar each.
(・∀・) Did that also happen to be during the Siege of Mafeking?
( ´ω`) No, I had the hot dog cart then, Stevie.
(・∀・) Aaaaaaand did you sell hot dogs to doomed Russian sailors in 1905?
( ´ω`) That was mozzarella cheese sticks and fruit flavored Vodka pops.
( ´ω`) I made a killing in those days, Bennie.
(・∀・) My name is not Bennie. It's not Stevie either.
( ´ω`) Is too.
(・∀・) What did you 'n granma do in the day?
( ´ω`) Which day?
(・∀・) Back then, fuck!
( ´ω`) That sounds about right, although we also went to church to keep up appearances.
(・∀・) - Gramps. listen up! I'm a gangster, see. A real crook, m'yeah. Hand over all your money before I ventilate ya with my heater, see? M'yeah. And no crackin' wise, see?
( ´ω`) That's nice, Danny.
(・∀・) Grandpa, how many days has September?
(・∀・) Grandpa, where's Grandma?
( ´ω`) I find 'em, fuck 'em and flee you know, yo, I took tha ho to tha hotel, to tha holiday in
(・∀・) Say what?
( ´ω`) When dat bitch starts fuckin' up, yo, I just fuck her friend
( ´ω`) ∞
(・∀・) It's official. Grandpa has gone crazy.
(・∀・)
I thought a hyperbola intersects the line at infinity at two distinct points. So, in step (S), do I have to consider the negative root to get the coordinate (-a,b,0)?
( ´ω`) Timmy, how long do you think it has been since I've been to high school?
(・∀・) Didn't dinosaurs still roam the earth?
(・∀・) Fucking answer my question you old geezer!
( ´ω`) I've never hit a child before you know.
( ´ω`) I piss in your milk everymorning
( ´ω`) As to your question, the dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years, Bobby.
(・∀・) So that means yes?
( ´ﾟωﾟ`) I DON'T FUCKING KNOW DO I LOOK LIKE A GODDAMN ZOMBIE?!?!?!?!?!?!
( ´ﾟωﾟ`) BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINS
(・∀・) So how did the Thai mafia react when they discovered your tryst with Windawarti Koepwatra?
( ´ﾟωﾟ`) BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINS
( ・-・) It's time I derailed this th-
( ・-・) ...
( ・-・) Carry on.
(・∀・) Grandpa, why do the Slayers movies suck compared to the series?
( ´ﾟωﾟ`) BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINS
(・∀・) Grandpa, what is the tastiest part of the human body?
( ´ω`) The aortic heart valve. Tres Magnifique!
(・∀・) Speak more French! Speak more French!
( ´ω`) Parler en plus de français! Parler en plus de français!
(・∀・) Du bist.
( ´ω`) Was soll ich denn deiner Meinung nach bitte sein, Sohnemann? Du hast einen Vögel!
(・∀・) Ｇｒａｎｄｐａ， ｗｈａｔ ｄｉｄ ｙｏｕ ｄｏ ｉｎ ｔｈｅ Ｇｒｅａｔ Ｗｏｒｌｄ Ｗａｒ ＩＩ？
( ´ω`) I killed them damn YANKS on the beaches with my bear hands
( ・-・) 100ge- aw, fuckyfuck
( ^ω^)
( ´ω`) PENIS DENIS OH MAN
(・∀・) Grandpa, when you REEEALLY have to pee, and you can't get to a toilet, how do you prefer to walk? The crab walk, or the penguin waddle?
( ´ω`) If I really have to pee, I pee. It doesn't matter if I'm walking or not, I can't stop it anyway.
(・∀・) Grandpa, remember when we England Your England?
( ´ω`) Yes.
( ´ω`) I poop into her butthole and then she poops it back into my butthole, and then we'll just keep doing it back and forth with the same poop forever. Pooping back and forth forever.
( ´ω`) Actually, I really like reverse cowgirl. All the impersonal mechanical fun of doggy style with the added bonus that she does all the work.
( ´０`) is the pooping thing even possible
( ´ω`) If you have to ask the question you already know the answer.
(・∀・) ..
( ´ω`) !!
(・∀・) Have you ever cheated on grandma?
( ´ω`) Which grandma?
(・∀・) Grandpa, what does an orgasm feel like?
(・∀・) And come, tell me, Sean O'Farrell, tell me why you hurry so?
( ・-・) Don't you have pills to take?
(・∀・) Grandpa, we haven't had any knew characters in our threads for awhile have our writers run out of ideas.
( ´ω`) Writers? What do you think you had for dinner last night? Sure wasn't takeout from Rei's.
( ঁωঁ) Hello, hello, goodbye and hello again. What's happening, friends? The writers sent me in.
(・∀・) Grandpa, newguy, is it just me or is the Elitist Superstructure crumbling from the inside? I haven't been able to access it properly for weeks I mean days. Also, my vericode was soy.
( ´ω`) When I was your age, we had carrier pigeons deliver Elitist Superstructure business and dammit, we enjoyed the substantial packet loss.
( ´ω`) Well, package loss, as the case was. A lot of doobies we won’t be gettin’ back any time soon....
( ´ω`) ... where am I?
(・∀・) HELL.
( ঁωঁ ) So what do you folks do 'round here?
( ঁ ω ঁ ) Wait...what's happening here?
( ঁ ω ঁ ) HELP ME.
( ´ ω ` ) It's natural. Just let the tanasinn flow.
( ঁ ᴥ ঁ ) Ah OK... merci beaucoup . Alors qu'est-ce que vous faites pendant votre temps libre ?
{ ঁ ᴥ ঁ } RÉPONDEZ À LA QUESTION GROS CON.
( ´ω`) Get him out of here. Or i'll get the blunderbluss.
{# ´ঁ´ ᴥ ঁ *} Hasn't anyone told you blunderblusses are extinct?
{ # ´ঁ´ @ ᴥ % ঁ * } Fuck, I keep corrupting.
(・∀・) ...
(・∀・) I'm still here by the way...
(・∀・) Why has this beast stolen my role, Grandpa?
( ´ω`) Your pretty little head isn't made for thinking, darling. If you behave yourself I'll let your pull the car out of the drive way just this once.
(・∀・) Grandpa, do you remember
ＴＨＥ ＮＩＧＨＴ
ＴＨＥＹ ＤＲＯＶＥ
ＯＬＤ ＤＩＸＩＥ
ＤＯＷＮ?
( ´ω`) Yes, but more importantly do you remember
ＴＨＥ ＮＩＧＨＴ
Ｉ ＤＲＯＶＥ ＭＹ
ＯＬＤ ＤＩＸＩＥ
ＤＯＷＮ ＩＮＴＯ ＹＯＵ?
(・∀・) Grandpa, when are we all going South to Dixieland?
(・∀・) Grandpa, is it true that if you were a bad person in life and you die, they send you back to Junior High?
( ´ω`) Falling in love with girls 11 inches taller than you... dealing with puberty and how everyone but you benefits from it... yup, that sounds about right.
(・∀・) Grandpa, is this your way of telling me you're a hormonally-imbalanced midget?
(・∀・) Why is it always the shit you have to slap outta me? Can't you just smack the tar out of me or something?
( ´ω`) Alright, that does it. You're getting too fresh with me, kiddo.
( ´ω`) Our lives are a paradoxial combination of a true reality show and fake real lives.
(・∀・) Grandpa, Do You Remember Love?
( ´ω`) Junior, one day you will take over the family business of piloting Super Dimension Fortresses. Until then, I suggest we leave this talk for another time.
(・∀・) Grandpa, did you know Waruta Kuronkaito?
( ´ω`) If that pinko wanted North Vietnam to win so bad, he should’ve just given them a flat-out endorsement on TV.
( ´ω`) ...oh right.
(・∀・) Grandpa, what happened to Grandma?
@@@@
@( ´Д`)@ Do you have to ask every thread? Gosh, you are so needy, dammit!
(・∀・) Of course, Grandma! I am forgetful, just like your husband!
( ´ω`) Who the hell is that hag?
( ´ω`) Baggy Tits? Where have you been all these years?
@@@@
@( ´Д`)@ Somewhere you can't see me. Such as directly behind you, for starters.
( ´ω) Ahahaha, you know I never look over ther( ´ﾟωﾟ) RAGH
( ´ﾟωﾟ`)
(・∀・) Grandpa, there is Lightning over the Tatras!
(・∀・) and hailstorms in the Cascades!
(・∀・) WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
(・∀・) Grandpa, after a lengthy discussion with the writing team, we've decided that we're going to recast you. To freshen up the character, you know, bring the story to a new generation. We'd like it if you left peacefully, but you should know, security IS present. Choose your words and actions carefully.
(・∀・) That went well.
（ ｀ハ´） There is no skill Grandfather possesses that I cannot replicate. Bear witness.
（ ｀ﾟハﾟ´）
（ ｀ハ´） Now it is clear that I am the only acceptable choice for this position.
（ ｀ハ´）? ... Oh dear! Ahem.
（ ｀ハ´） Before the advent of electronic networking, most information was shared and archived in written form.
（ ｀ハ´） As for the dispersion of information and long-distance communicati--
-voot-
( ・ハ・) Beady's a fag
-voot-
（ ｀ハ´） ...as I was saying...
（ ｀ハ´） But first, allow me to detail my musical inspirations.
( ﾟ ヮﾟ) Hi I'm Mittens, the mittens enthusiast. I like kittens and bacon cheeseburgers and being a cocktease and shit like that!
( ﾟ -ﾟ) I can also do this face.
（ ｀ハ´） HOWEVER! My personal style is not purely modern; I was undoubtedly influenced by the distinguished composers of my youth. Beethoven, Bach, Chopin, Tchaikovsky, Schumann, Liszt. All names with which I am sure you've become familiar. Yet, the true nuance in my work comes not from these great men, but from the lesser known artists of the time, such as--
-voot-
( ・ハ・) Cocks
-voot-
（ ｀ハ´） How dare you?!
-voot-
（ ｀ω´） Now what have you done? Aiyah, Junior!
-voot-
（ ´ω｀） Hello kids!
( ﾟ ｍﾟ) I'm not into the whole sudden transformation thing.
(・∀・) I'm not into YOUR FACE
(・∀・) If I can sell my shotgun ammo and make enough room for a rocket launcher I can...
（ ｀ハ´） No! I will not give up my lifelong dream of replacing my longtime nemesis and ruining his life so soon!
-voot-
( ・-・) what
(・∀・) Hey, it's some new guy that looks, sounds, and acts exactly like Grandpa! You're hired!
( ´ω`) Now that this thread is back on track, I propose we vote on a measure to limit unfunded mandates in favor of increased spending on block grants. All in favor?
( ´ω`) Motion passed.
(・∀・) But Grandpa, doesn't increasing spending just spread communism to the lower levels, eventually defeating their own purpose?
( ・ω・)ω・)ω・)ω・)ω・)ω・)ω・)ω・)ω・)ω・)ω・) I vote 'yea'!
( ´ω`) That's nice. Get back in your cages!
(・∀・) Grandpa, why do we always have so many clones in the basement? It's creepy!
( ´ω`) We tried the attic, but they made the ceiling collapse.
( ・ω・)ω・)ω・)ω・)ω・)ω・)ω・)ω・)ω・)ω・)ω・) We loved them! Thanks Grandpa!
>>202
(╬ ಠ 益 ಠ) YOU CAN'T CUT BACK ON FUNDING!
YOU WILL REGRET THIS!!
(╬ ಠ益ಠ) YOU KNOW WHAT COULD USE TIGHTENING UP? YOUR FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!
(’w‘) Speak for yourself!
(·∀·) holy shit grampa how'd you pull that off?
(╬ ಠ益ಠ) FUCK YOU AND YOUR ENTIRE WISEACRE FAMILY!
(╬ ಠ益ಠ) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
test
(・∀・) Grandpa, for reference, how long was the last September?
( ´ω`) September 1992 lasted thirty days. I can remember it like it was yesterday...
( ´ω`) In fact, I'm fairly certain it was, in fact, yesterday.
( ´ω`) Yesterday
( ´ω`) Barney Rubble seemed so far away
( ´ω`) Then he moved back in right down the way
( ´ω`) Oh, I relieved myself today.
( ´ω`)
( ´ω`) That's all I got.
(・∀・) Grandpa, are you the egg man?
( ´ω`) No, but I AM the walrus.
(・∀・) Grandpa, how can a normal kid like me become a member of the Elitist Superstructure?
( ´ω`) Thrill a spore.
(・∀・) Drill the boar?
( ´ω`) No.
( ´ω`) Fill a door.
(・∀・) Grandpa, why does it hurt when I pee?
( ´ω`) Believe me, what happens in Bangkok, stays in banged cocks for generations.
(・∀・) Grandpa, are you as alarmed as I by the possibility that Mr Obama will deny life-saving treatment to you to save money?
( ´ω`) As a prominent member/affiliate of the elitist superstructure, the president chose me to be in one of his Death Panels.
( ⌒-⌒) I wish President Obama and congress would get there heads out of their asses and act!
( ⌒-⌒) I'd like to see them do a live performance of Beowulf, featuring Hillary Clinton as MacBeth's wife.
( ´ω`) This is my thread, Kindness-San. If you don't get back to http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1164035891/ this instant, I'll make sure you don't get your meds this month.
Σ>(εﾟハﾟ)з ｕｎｔｈｏｙ！
( ・-・) That's ironic, considering how long I've been badgering you to take your damn pills.
( ´ω`) Did someone just say something? It could've been the wind, but that smell...
(・∀・) Grandpa, what's a spoobnumby?
( ´ω`) It's what I did with your grandmother several hundred years ago.
(・∀・) No, no, you're thinking of garden parties again.
( ´ω`) And then harpooning it. Ah, the feasts we had.
(・∀・) You didn't eat the sun!
(・∀・) It's still up in the sky!
( ´ω`) That's his brother.
(・∀・) The sun only has a sister, and shes the moon.
( ` ω´) So you wanna tell me the sun's brother fucked his sister? No way, son!
(・∀・) We both watched the eclipse. There's no denying the dirty stuff that went on up there!
(″◉ิヮ◉ิ) The Communist Party is like the Sun
Where-ever it goes, there is light
Where-ever the Communist Party goes
Hooray, there the people are free!( ´ω`) Communism's only high point is that it reliably turns food exporting nations into food importing nations.
(・∀・) The sun and moon are incestuous perverts! Don't change the subject!!
(・∀・) Grandpa, why does the ショウジョハコイヲスル？
( ´ω`) Speak English, you little idiot.
(・∀・) Donde esta, casa de Darkpa?
( ´ω`) Por casa, mi casa.
(・∀・) casa basa nodasa spassa.
( ´ω`) You crack me up, little buddy.
(・∀・) yo grandpa, I'm really happy for you and Imma let you finish, but clonepa had one of the best threads of all time!
( ´ω`) まったく、あのカニエやろう何考えているんだ
( ´ω`) Ｄｏｕｃｈｅｂａｇなヤツだな、あいつは
(・∀・) ビバイビキバイビボバン。
( ´ω`) I can remember being led into a large room, like a cafeteria with the tables cleared out. They told us we were going into the shower to clean off or something like that. I was only eleven. We were all stripped naked, and led into another room, standing room only, and there were shower heads in the ceiling, but the room was bone dry and there were no drains. That's when Koffing came in and we knew what was about to happen. But my good friend Gunter had managed to smuggle an ultra ball out of the lieutenant's quarters and he threw it as hard as he could.
( ´ω`) That was when we made a break for it. Eleven of us made it to the Russian border.
( ´ω`) And the looks on the children's faces when I sent Koffing into the "shower"... nothing beats that.
(-∀-) zzzzzzzzSNRK... zzzzzzzzz
( ´ω`) I fucked your gradnma.
( ・-・) OH MY GOD WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOG!!!
oink!!ｰ ∧∧
､__,,,ﾉw、 （；・∀・） You gotta be fucking kidding me!
三 （ = = .・｀e = ⊂ ）
ﾞvv-vv" = ミ三三彡
( ´ω`) That's not how your father was born, though.
oink!!ｰ ∧∧
､__,,,ﾉw、 （；・∀・） How about helping me, Grandpa!?!?
三 （ = = .・｀e = ⊂ ）
ﾞvv-vv" = ミ三三彡
( ・-・) Just as planned....
( ´◉ิω◉ิ`) FATHER!
( ´◉ิω◉ิ`) WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?! I ASKED FOR POMEGRANITES, NOT FUCKING TANGELOS! I HATE TANGELOS! YOU KNOW I HATE TANGELOS!
( ´◉ิω◉ิ`) I HATE YOU, YOU’RE FUCKING USELESS! YOU CAN’T DO ANYTHING, I WAS MORE SKILLED THAN YOU BEFORE I WAS TEN! YOU CALL YOURSELF A HUMAN MALE? YOU STINK OF PISS! YOU’RE SO WEAK THAT YOU CAN’T HOLD YOUR BLADDER AROUND ME?! YOU'RE A SNIVELLING ANIMAL!
( ´◉ิω◉ิ`) GET THE FUCK OUT, YOU USELESS BASTARD! I SHOULD KILL YOU SO THAT MOTHER REMARRIES AND I’LL HAVE A REAL FATHER! GO! BEFORE I BEAT YOU BLOODY AGAIN!
( ´◉ิω◉ิ`) AND TAKE YOUR FUCKING TANGELOS WITH YOU!
( ･ิω･ิ) bed
( ・-・) Wait, this is going in the wrong direction....
(・∀・) Get em
oink!!ｰ ∩∩
､__,,,ﾉw、 （；・-・） NOT THIS SHIT AGAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIN
三 （ = = .・｀e = ⊂ ）
ﾞvv-vv" = ミ三三彡
( ´ω`) HOLD STILL AND PLAY DEAD YOU IDIOT!
( ´ﾟωﾟ`) durrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
( ´ω`) For characters like us? Non-existent.
( ´ω`) Textbooks?
( ´ω`) Junyer, you know how I feels 'bout all this 'book-learnin' biznuss.
( ´ω`) IT WAS TWENTY YEARS AGO TODAY
( ´ω`) Ah, yes, September 5889, 1973...
( ´ω`) Take a look at the law-man beating up the wrong guy!
( ´ω`) Oh man, look at those cavemen go!
( ´ω`) Why pamper life's complexities when the leather runs smooth on the passenger seat?
(・∀・) I thought you'd sold the Cordoba.
!باعوها؟ لماذا أفعل ذلك؟ الله أكبر (´ω｀ )
(・∀・) Grandpa, what would be the best way to invest this 300get of mine?
( ´ω`) 87% Stock investments
5% Gold investments
8% Cash
( ´ω`) 57% Hong Kong
30% Japan
13% New York
( ´ω`) Hong Kong market
-HYSAN DEV (0014.HK)
-CHAODA MODERN (0682.HK)
-LIFESTYLE INT’L (1212.HK)
-ICBC (1398.HK)
-CMOC (3993.HK)
( ´ω`) Japan market
-J-Com Co., Ltd. (2462:Tokyo Stock Exchange)
-Ajis Co. Ltd. (4659:Japan OTC Market (JASDAQ))
-Simplex WTI ETF (1671/O)
( ´ω`) New York market
-China Mobile Ltd. (ADR) (Public, NYSE:CHL)
-BHP Billiton Limited (ADR) (Public, NYSE:BHP)
(・∀・) Done! Now to wait for the riches to come to me!
(・∀・) Grandpa! I'm rich now! THANKS!
( ´ω`) Tax time's gonna slaughter you, kiddo.
(・∀・) Grandpa, where do taxes come from?
( ´ω`) Gleðileg jól!!
(・∀・) Grandpa, you look younger! Is it the MS PGothic?
(・∀・) We all look scary as hell in that font.
(・∀・) I always liked tomatoes when they collapsed, but now you can, Grandpa. I wanted to ask you ro at least appear to relate to emotions.
(・∀・) Grandpa, is Maria really watching over us?
( ´ω`) WHAT DID I TELL YOU? REFER TO HER AS MARIA-SAMA AT ALL TIMES. SHE'S WATCHING!
(・∀・) So, this Maria Sambo is who, exactly?
( ´ω`) Junior, only police are allowed to beat people up.
(・∀・) O Grandpa! how those cowardly Lincolnites trembled
When they met with the Irish Brigade!
( ´ω`) Dry humping! Try it sometime.
(・∀・) So Grandpa, do you remember what it was like before you got shot or robbed walking down the stree.
( ´ω`) When they met with the Irish Brigade! me boys,
( ´ω`) When they met with the Irish Brigade
( ´ω`) the fun part of the Great Vowel Shift was that it wasn't really a gradual process.
( ´ω`) one day poppa went to the fishmonger to get an eel, and was informed that the pub next door doesn't really have good ale, but does make a wicked porter.
(・∀・) Grandpa, is it true what they say? That a dick in hand is better than two in the bush?
(・∀・) I do.
( )
( ) It happens to the best of us, Junior.
( ´ω`) Stop pretending to be me
( ) But I don't have a face anymore, I can be whoever I want to be!
no grandson of mine is gay
ｶﾞｯ ∧__∧ ∩
（ ´ω`)彡☆
⊂彡☆)) ) < ow sorry ow ow ow ow
(・∀・) Grandpa, guess who sighs his lullabies through nights that never end?
( ´ω`) In olden days, a glimpse of stocking was looked on as something shocking.
( ´ω`) Don't worry about it, >>343. All your base are belong to us anyway.
(・∀・) Grandpa, what was life like last millennium? You know, before they fixed the Y1K bug?
( ´ω`) The way I remember it, there were monks beneath floorboards of every town hall, chanting ominously.
( ´ω`) Something like NO ON EM YES ON SEE SEE SEE SEE SEE SEE SEE SEE SEE SEE. Damn hippies got paid by the line after that. They got what was comin' to 'em.
( ´ω`) Now and then you'd hear one of them say "nurupo!" instead. Then he and all the other monks would have grand mal seizures until someone in the town hall closed all the building's windows and reopened them.
( ´ﾟωﾟ`) th'lai! th'lai! th'lai! th'lai! th'lai! th'lai! th'lai! th'lai! th'lai! th'lai! th'lai! th'lai! th'lai! th'lai! th'lai! th'lai!
( ´ﾟωﾟ`) < NURUPO
( ´ω`) We said "we'll run them to Atlanta and to Galveston Bay" but they ran us back to Washington and Phi-la-del-fye-eah
( ´ω`) And Phi-la-del-fye-eah!
Go back in time and kill your grandfather, them you can not exist.
( ´ω`) When I tried that, it didn't work. He'd already been mackin' with my grammama.
(・∀・) You didn't go back in time, Grandpa. You just happened to be four years old when you did it.
(・∀・) Wasn't he like a hatter or something? You blew away the family fortune! He invented the two-foot top hat, you fool!
(´ω`) Pokey Mans.
(・∀・) My Pokey Mans! Let me show you them!
(・∀・) I think you're thinking about the Greater East Asia Co-Prosperity Sphere Justice War, grandpa. Your bayonet rusted because you never wiped the blood off.
(・∀・) How do I dudged spoobnumby?
( ´ω`) Hell ’f I know! hyeh hyeh hyeh.
( ´ω`) Guess I'll go drown my sorrows in booze.
|彡
(・∀・) It always happens that tales of the faraway past make me feel just a little more connected with my Japanese ancestry.
( ´ω`) And the wind blew. And the young man laughed. And the old man laughed.
( ´ω`) And in the village, a young boy tore away at his laughing mother's womb with his bare hands, all the while chanting in a demented scream:
"'ri! 'ri! Yu'kuri shee'teh y't'enneh!"
(・∀・) Nobody did that, you liar.
OMG what happened to my face?
( ´ω`) Yo mama happened.
(・∀・) I knew it! You do watch MTV when I'm not around!
( ´ω`) I do not!
( ´ω`) I have no idea what Jersey Shore is, nor do I care about the Snooki situation.
(・∀・) Grandpa, how many trolls would a troll troll if a troll could troll trolls?
(・∀・) Okay, now could you ans--
( ´ω`) BRAAAAAAAAOGGHHHHHHHAAAAAARRRRREEEEEGGHHHHHHHPPPPP
(・∀・) Not this shit ag--
( ´ω`) RRRRREEPP
(・∀・) You done ye--
( ´ω`) RRPP
(・∀・) Burp if you're gay.
( ´ω`) Can't fool me, Junior.
(・∀・) Now that you’re out of burp--
( ´ω`) BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAPPP
(・∀・) Grandpa, this is not fu--
( ´ω`) zzzZZZzzzz
(・∀・) ...
(・∀・) GRANDPA! THE THREAD IS ON FIRE! THE THREAD IS ON FIRE!
( ´ω`) oh god not the fire alarm again
(・∀・) Oh, good. You're awake. I have a ques--
( ´ω`) zzzZZzZzzzzzz
( ・-・) You got him panicked. Now he won't be able to say anything but "oh god not the fire alarm again" for a few days.
( ・-・) Good job.
( ´ω`) Who shot who in the what now?
( ・ω・) oh god not the fire alarm again
(・∀・) Grandpa, who am us anyway?
( ´ω`) Good news everybody!
( ´ω`) They have pandanh waffles at the bakery!
(・∀・) Oh father, why are you so sad
on this bright Easter morn'?
When Irish men are proud and glad
of the land where they were born?
( ･ิω･ิ) Oh son, I see in memory's view a far-off distant day
( ･ิω･ิ) When being just a boy like you I joined the I.R.A.
( ´ω`) Old chairs to mend, Old chairs to mend
( ´ω`) I never would cry old chairs to mend
( ´ω`) If I'd as much some as I could spend
( ´ω`) I never would cry old chairs to mend
( ´ω`) I like traffic lights
( ´ω`) I like traffic lights
( ´ω`) I like traffic lights
( ´ω`) That is what I said.
( ´ω`) I like traffic lights
( ´ω`) I like traffic lights
( ´ω`) I like traffic lights
( ´ω`) But not when they are red.
(・∀・) Grandpa, what was life like before you all started singing in this thread?
(・∀・) I'm too young to buy booze!
( ´ω`) If I was invisible
( ´ω`) Then I could just watch you in your room
( ´ω`) If I was invincible
( ´ω`) I'd make you mine tonight
( ´ω`) Gonna be yo drain tonight
( ´ω`) Gonna be yo drain tonight
(・∀・) ew.
( ･ิω･ิ) Seriously, Dad. You crossed a line there.
( ´ω`) You won't last a week if you don't release.
( ´ω`) DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU!!
(・∀・) I'm not pooping in your mouth!
(・∀・) Again!
(・∀・) Grandpa, what's it like being a gay in the military?
( ´ω`) Bill Clinton told you not to ask. He told me not to tell.
(・∀・) Grandpa, what was it like with Clinton as the President?
( ´ω`) It was a laff a minute, Bobby.
(・∀・) Grandpa, is Mississippi ready for this day!?
(・∀・) Hey, Gran-paw, go git yer rifle and let's raise sim' hell on the Cumberland Gap!
( ´ω`) YEAH SUH! The Jukes, Kallikacks and Snopes won't know what hit 'em!
∑:3 KITTEH
( ・-・) This is what happens when you don't take your goddamn pills.
(・∀・) Grandpa, is the USA a great country, or the GREATEST country?
( ´ω`) The USA is the most successful country, and for that reason alone is despised all around the world.
( ´ω`) Bunch of jealous little babies, the rest of the world is.
(・∀・) And did you come to their defense in those dark days, Grandpa?
( ´ω`) No.
(#‵)3′)▂▂▂▃▄▅～～～ BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
( ・-・) How do you like my vuvuzela playing, gramps?
( ´ω`) Didn’t hear a goddam thing you said, boy; you’ll have to speak up. I’ll have you know I spent decades on the flight lines tightening nuts on the engines with my teeth, right up till they invented this thing called a “wrench”!
( ´ω`) Couldn’t hear that trumpet thingum either, but judging from the vibrations, you’ll need to tune it. Let me at er. I used to jam with Louis Armstrong back in the day. God rest his merry negro soul.
(・∀・) I CAN'T HEAR A GODDAM THING YOU SAID, GRANDPA!
(・∀・) SOMEONE CRASHED INTO MY EARS I THINK THEY'RE BLEEDING
( ´ω`) Two birds, one stone.
(・∀・) WHA?
( x-・) Is it safe yet?
(°∀°) OH SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!?
(・∀・) COOL! Kamen Parrot Runner is my hero
( ◕ω◕) Junior! Bring me my pills!
( ´ω`) ZZZzzzzzzz
( ・-・) Okay, he's asleep. Get the pills, junior.
( ◕-◕) We can't stop here, this is Darkpa country!
(◕∀◕) I CAN SEE A THOUSAND WORLDS!
（ ◔ω◔） zzzz wat?
( ◔-◕) GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
( ・-・) I used to talk Finnish but everybody was like "Sounds like Japanese man"
( ・-・)
( ・-・) Feels bad man.
(・∀・) smjör og öl á Eyjafjallajökli, Bjerk? Meiri ost á brauðið, Bjerk? Hvað segirðu, Bjerk? Ekki Íslenskur?
( ﾟ ｰﾟ) You guys are funny.
(・∀・) Bork bork bork? I cant understand you finny.
( ・-・) ....
(・∀・) ....
( ・-・) I tol-
(・∀・) BORK! BORK! BORK!
( ´ω`) hehehehehe
( ◕ω◕) ....
( ◕-◕) ....
(・∀・) Come on guys, what do you see? Can I have some of that?
（
丶◡◡◡◡◡o◡◡◡◡◡◡◡◡◡ノ
( 8
（ ( ´ﾟωﾟ`) ... Good thing all this never actually happened. )
丶◡◡◡◡◡o◡◡◡◡◡◡◡◡◡ノ
8
( ´ﾟωﾟ`) ... Good thing we can retconn entire threads
人
（＿_）
（＿＿）
（ ＿＿ ）
（ ・∀・） ＜ My name is Squeeks and this thread has become much too silly.
（つ つ
｜ ｜ |
（_＿）＿）
(◕∀◕) space ...
(◕∀◕) the final frontier ...
(◕∀◕) these are the voyages of the starship Enterprise ...
(◕∀◕) its continuing mission
(◕∀◕) to explore strange new worlds
(◕∀◕) to seek out new life and new civilizations
(◕∀◕) to boldly go where no man has gone before!
(◕∀◕) DAAAA DAH DAH DAHHH DA DA DAHHH!
(・∀・) It's all in your mind.
( ´ω`) hehehehehe
, .
( ´ω`) cough cough cough
(・∀・) gramps?
( ´ω`) ...
( ・-・) I'm a deist, organized religion aint my thing gramps. Vamoose!
(・∀・) Then can I be Loki?
( ´ω`) Not with that wimpy attitude.
( ´ω`) That's closer. Keep working on that, Danny.
( ・-・) I'm gonna be Ra
(・∀・) Who is the FUN god? The A-NUMBER-ONE god? RA! RA! RA!
( ・-・) ....Things sure got quiet there
⊙◡⊚ AIRRRRRRRRRRR!!!
(・∀・) Now Grandpa, aint you glad you jined the cavalry?
( ・-・) I've jined.
( ・-・) Hey, Juniors grampa, what's with the laughing?
( ´ω`) hehehehehe
( ´ω`) Juner, did I ever tell ye bout the time I was bein chased by one hundred murderin Cheyennes?
( ´ω`) So endways, dem Injuns, dey was chasing me, dey chased me rite into dat box cannin! Dere aint no way to get out of the box cannin, not when one hundred murderin Cheyenne injuns blockin the only way out!
( ´ω`) Do you know what dey did, Juner, do you know what dey did ta me?
( ´ω`) Dey kilt me, Juner.
(#・-・) ...
(#・-・)
(#・-・) They dressed you up in a kilt?
(#・-・)
(#・∪・)
(∩・_・)
`=='
( ・-・) Yummy!
(・∀・) Hey grampa, how was the navy back when you weren't a fossil?
∧∧
(´ω` )}} !!!
/ つつ∧∧
{{～（ ( (*ﾟーﾟ)
Ｕ´Ｕ> >ヽヽ
(・∀・) Hey, Gramps is making the Sign of the Two-Backed Aardvark with Shii!
(O∀O) !...
(・ω・) Wimp.
(・∀・) HAY CLONEPA!
∧＿∧
∧（*・ω・） ∧∧
（・⊂ ⊃ (・ω・ )}} !!! ∧＿∧ 'sup, Junior?
（ つ ノ ノ / つつ∧∧ (・ω・ )ヽ
｜（_＿）＿） {{～（ ( (*・ω・) ∧∧⌒(,/ 三
（_＿）＿） Ｕ´Ｕ> >ヽヽ と(ω・とノ､(,ノ)
( ´ω`) Be careful junior, this is where they gitcha
( ・ω・) You gave away the surprise!
(・∀・) Grandpa, when did time stop being linear?
( ・ω・) Tomorrow did.
(・∀・) Grandpa, when did time stop being linear?
( ´ω`) It happened up there.
( ´ω`) I already told you, Junior!
( ´ω`) In the FUTURE!
( ´ω`) wooooOOOOoooooo
(・∀・) Grandpa, when did time stop being linear?
( ´ω`) When the Time Wars ended and the Continuing Time began.
( ⊙∀⊚) Linear being stop time did when, Grandpa?
( ⊚ω-) ...
(・∀・) Grandpa, I thought you couldn’t use brackets in domain names?
[´ɯ`] I am not your grandparent.
(・∀・) Grandpa, why are the reptoids and greys always at war with each other?
[´ɯ`] To win the war.
[´ɯ`] I am not your grandparent.
(・∀・) You suck.
Your behavior is unacceptable. Beep boop.
ｶﾞｯ /￣￣\ ∩
[ ´ ɯ`]彡☆
⊂彡☆))∀・) < ow sorry ow ow ow ow
( ´ω`) What a time saver!
(・∀・) Your robot said "Beep boop" instead of beeping.
[´ɯ`] nuruboop
ｶﾞｯ ∧__∧ ∩
（ ・∀・)彡☆
⊂彡☆))ɯ`] < ow beep sorry ow beep ow beep ow beep
( ´ω`) You break it, you bought it, Timmy!
Crush. Kill. Destroy. Beep boop.
ｶﾞｯ /￣￣\ ∩
[ ´ ɯ`]彡☆
⊂彡☆))ω`) < ow sorry ow ow ow ow
( ´ω`) Oh, you are so going back to Kmart!
[´ɯ`] That is not a satisfactory result!
(・∀・) It's okay robopa, he just doesn't like the sweet chiptunes that come out your ass
( ´ω`) it's all the same beep boops to me.
( ´ω`) In oh so many ways.
[´ɯ`]っ-๎ Junior, do you wish look like an intellectual too?
(・∀・)っ-๎ Wow, you're the coolest!
(・∀・) Curse you, Grandpa! I got an F in Womyn's Studies because of that!
( ´ω`) You'd have gotten an F anyway, you little queer.
(・∀・) Grandpa, my latest Japanese homework came back marked "自演乙". What does that mean?
( ´ω`) You know I can't read Chinese, boy.
(・∀・) Well, then, can you help me calculate the contour integral of a Bessel function?
( ´ω`) I can tell ya, but when they pop a rifle in your hands and leave you in the jungle to kill some guys ya never met, you'll have to know how to do it for yourself.
(・∀・) Grandpa, the only thing you've ever killed was your own kidney!
( ´ω`) Bit 'a kilt it real good, ma buoy.
( ・-・) Not for lack of trying back in World War Cirrhosis.
( ´ω`) Big words for someone who's never wept nor dashed a thousand kim.
Grandpa, are you a hikikomori?
( ´ω`) W-wha?! Who said that?!
(・∀・) Grandpa, why did DQN die?
( ´ω`) DQN isn't dead, it just smells funny.
(・∀・) Dad must be around here somewhere, then.
Can I have the Clonepa recipe?
( ´ω`) Dammit, this hearing aid is picking up NPR again.
( ´ω`) Now my gold tooth is picking up Fox News at the same time! My head hurts like hell listening to all this at the same time! I should go take some medicine now.
( ・-・) ahahahahaha AHAHAHAHAHA AH HA HA HA HA!
( ・-・) er
( ・-・) i mean
( ・-・) they're right here.
( ´ω`) Last time one of you nutters gave me my pills I began seeing fractal unicorns.
( ´ω`) Not to say I didn't enjoy the experience, mind. But I have diabetes, not Chronic Tolkien Sydrome.
( ・-・) TAKE YOUR GODDAMN PILLS FROM ME YOU OLD FART
(・∀・) Grandpa, can I have the Clonepa recipe? That one ghost doesn't have a head or hands and can't use the recipe anyway.
( ´ω`) No. The Clonepa recipe is an ancient Chinese secret, and not for the beak-faced likes of you, boy.
( ・-・) HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT WAS ME IN DISGUISE? AAAAIGH!
( ´ω`) I will never reveal the Wu-Tang secret.
(・-・ ) If he took his pills, he never would have found out.
( ´ω`) beat 3 eggs, add 2 tablespoons olive or safflower oil, and 1 teaspoon vinegar.
( ´ω`) apply mixture to clonepa and cover with plastic wrap. wait half an hour and then shampoo well.
Grandpa, why are you such a fag?
( ´ω`) I'm really getting tired of NPR's blatant liberal bias.
This is CNN, not NPR. Also, you're a fag.
( ´ω`) I'm not inclined to argue with invisible people, good sir.
(・∀・) Grandpa, why do people from that place have to come ruin our fun?
( ´ω`) Be quiet Johnny, the adults are speaking.
(・∀・) Grandpa, is it true that you used to be the Cheech Wizard?
( ´ω`) Your primitive mind couldn't accept da truth.
( ・-・) How long did it take you to google up that quote?
Grandpa is afraid of losing an argument with us invisibles.
Yeah, he's just a scaredy-cat like the rest of you guys.
( ´ω`) I'll be in the den, watching TV and cracking racist jokes about invisipeople.
( ´ω`) This is no different from what I do every day.
Anonymous does not forgive, grandpa
( ´ω`) Yo mama so invisible even Bill Clinton won't look at her
( ´ω`) Yo mama so ethereal, the Theory of Special Relativity is a better description of yo existence
( ´ω`) Yo mama so hard to see she ugly
( ´ω`) And vice versa.
( ´ω`) I live... again.
( ´ω`) It was like NONE OF YOUR GODDAMN BUSINESS, THAT'S WHAT.
( ´ω`) That is, ask again when you've had "the talk".
(・∀・) Grandpa, what's "the talk"?
( ´ﾟωﾟ`) brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
( ´ω`) No thanks, I'll just change the subject again.
(・∀・) Grandpa, how are skittles made?
( ´ω`) 2 tbsp beer
( ´ω`) 1/8 tsp Worcestershire sauce
( ´ω`) preheat oven to 375
( ´ω`) Mix ingredients until well-grated.
( ´ω`) remove linguini from squid, serve
( ・ω・) Billiards!
(・∀・) Grandpa, why do your cookies smell of bitter almonds?
( ´ω`) Ancient Chinese proverb:
( ´ω`) Grunka lunka dunkity dingredient
( ´ω`) You should not ask about the secret ingredient.
( ´ω`) But since you asked nicely, the secret ingredient is bitter almonds.
(・∀・) Grandpa, that's Oompa Loompa, not Chinese.
( ´ω`) Didn't you know? Every Chinese person is just two Oompa Loompas on top of each other, with the top wearing heavy make-up. They are plotting to fill the pacific with delicious chocolate.
( ´ω`) Anyone who runs is a VC. Anyone who stands still is a well disciplined VC.
( ・ω・) You play Valkyria Chronicles too?
( ・ω・) Jawsome! You're my new bestest bestest buddy.
( ・ω・) I like Alicia.
( ´ω`) I spent my mortal life working a rice stand for this...?
[´ɯ`] Life? Don't talk to me about life.
( ಠωಠ) I see what you did there.
( ・-・) ...
(・∀・) Grandpa, what's this thread really about?
( ´ω`) This thread is now about GRANDPA.
( ´ω`) Grandpa grandpa grandpa grandpa.
(・∀・) Grandpa, when did the first conspiracy ever get started?
( ´ω`) When God crapped out the third caveman.
[ ´ɯ`] You were the second caveman. You should know. Beep boop.
(( ´ω`) Yeah, we fucked up 3's shit good.
(・∀・) Grandpa, when will this thread finally die a peaceful death?
( ´ﾟωﾟ`) wｈen ｙｏu stｏp aｓkｉｎg ｕｓｅｌｅｓs ｑuｅstｉons ａnd lｅt m ｅ dｉeｅｅeｅｅｅｅeeｅeｅe
(・∀・) Well, that's going to be a problem, because I'm young and bursting with short questions!
( ´ω`) Go read a book, then.
(・∀・) What's a "book"?
( ´ω`) It's what we used to read before the Internet
( ´ω`) A sort of nonvolatile storage medium, you see.
( ´ω`) Better than scrolls like MP3s are better than tape.
(・∀・) GRANDPA! This is 1993! The only people who know what MP3s are basically huge nerds!
( ´ω`) You kids and your eight track...!
(・∀・) GRANDPA! What gender is beady-eyes?
,.-.、
/ .／ _,..-、
i /__／,..--,i
., ' ｀ ´ヽ、
i <ノルﾚﾉﾙ'
i !i；・-・)!|. I'm more man than you'll ever be and more woman than you'll ever have.
| /,ﾘ_'Y_rつ
'i'<,i__i,」ﾘ.
.!,ﾝｲﾉ
( ´ﾟ-ﾟ`) feels electric, POSSESSED by the JOY of LUCIFER, oh my goodness such an amazing RUSH, now I can WRITE and WRITE and WRITE about HIS glory, HIS splendor, oh yess, I feel like I never have to sleep again yes yes yes yes yes... yes yes yes pills pills pills pills pills pills pills pills
( ´ﾟ-・`) Allow me to explain. This afternoon, Dave came home, wide eyed and bright red. He was clutching a crinkled grocery bag in his hands, which looked like it was full of candy and breath mints.
( ´ﾟ-・`) Naturally, I inquired as to his current state and to the contents of the bag, as well. He hissed and hit me in the face with his palm. I was stunned. Dave then violently grabbed my head and shoved a handful of multicolored tablets into my mouth.
( ´ﾟ-・`) He hissed some more, covered my mouth with his strong hands, and plugged my nose. I had no choice but to swallow. He then lept up off of me and started laughing hysterically. I, obviously shaken, looked up at Dave and saw, for the first time in my love, a truly divine creature.
( ´ﾟ-・`) Imbued with the power of creation; t he violence, the fury, the chaotic heat of a star in full blaze. I realized then that MAN is GOD if he CHOOSES to BE and to EAT the PILLS that will MAKE HIM THE NEW GOD.
( ´ﾟ-・`) AND THE NEW GOD, THE GREAT REBEL OF THE AGES, SATAN, SATAN, SATAN ARISES.
( ◕ ヮ◕) Dave's not here, man!
( ◕ ヮ◕) It's a philisophical question, I think. If I swallow them, are they really still "yours" in any sense of the word? In a convulsive jingling of heavenly bells the realization comes to me that all of creation is mine to do with as I will. I. AM. THE. NEW. GOD.
MY GODPILLS! NOT YOURS! BAD!
∧__∧ ∩
（,,´ω`)彡☆
⊂彡☆))ヮ◕) ha ha ha hoo hoo hoo
☆
( ◕ω◕) Whoa, contact buzz.
( ´ω`) Good idea. It'll take a good haymaker like Dr. Aldrin's to show this fella who's boss.
( ◕ ヮ◕) Erections lasting over 4 hours should be treated by a doctor? What for? This boner of mine is awesome!
(・∀・) Grandpa, where can I get a good deal in a Christian atmosphere?
( ´ω`) Definitely not here on Earth.
(・∀・) Grandpa, who am us anyway?
( ・ω・) We're one of you.
( ・ω・) And you're one of us, I think.
( ・ω・) Maybe.
( ・ω・) Possibly.
[ ´ɯ`] Beep boop.
( ´ω`) Watch your fucking language.
My grandpa's are alive. You must leave now!
( ´ω`) Well la dee dah!
[ ´ɯ`] And fiddle-dee-dee. Beep boop.
(・Ａ・) GRANDPA WHY YOU GOTTA BE SO OLD
( l ‿ l ) Is grandpa dead? Hey, wake up grandpa!
( ´ω`) You interrupted a fantastic dream.
( ´ω`) And you were all crying boo hoo at my funeral and I was looking down on all you saps and laughing my angelic head off.
(・∀・) me too, Grandpa?
(・∀・) was I in your dream?
(・∀・) Awwwww.
( ´ω`) ...Tanasinn....
(・∀・) You wanna fight bitch? Huh? Huh? Let's go, let's fucking do this.
ξ(✿ ＞◡❛)ξ▄︻▇▇〓〓 Tiro Finale! =====#∀・)
(・∀・) Grandpa what was life before grief seed and being granted your wish and all?
( ´ω`) I used to be a little girl.
(・∀・) ...
(・∀・) ...
(・∀・) Mootpa?
( ´ω`) I wished for 4chan.
( ´ω`) I got 4-ch.
( ´ω`) Went all Homura on his ass.
both of mine dead without meet woe
( ´ω`) There is only one vidya game, and its name is NINTENDA.
( ´ω`) And y'all kids better be playin NINTENDA on the NINTENDA.
(・∀・) That's what I INTENDA.
(・∀・) Who told you that you can stick NINTENDAGE into the NINTENDA, grandpa-san? You can't stick anything into the Game&Watch, you know!
( ´ω`) When I was a bit older than you, youngster, I found out the hard way that the best place to carry a concealed NINTENDA is between bumcheeks.
(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧: Shazam! Nintenda!
(ﾉ´ω`)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧: Yowza.
(・∀ﾟ) ARE YOU A WIZZARD?
(・∀・) Grandpa, what was DQN like before it turned into mostly shitty chat threads?
( ´ω`) Mostly shitty ITTs and character threads.
( ´ω`) I remember when things were different at that one time in that one place.
( ´ﾟωﾟ`) Where am I?!
(・∀・) You're in VIP, Grandpa dude.
( ´ﾟωﾟ`) ＢＹ ＴＨＥ ＧＲＡＣＥ ＯＦ ＧＯＤＳ ＡＮＤ ＦＡＴＥ， Ｉ ＡＭ ＮＥＲＥＶＡＲ ＲＥＢＯＲＮ
(・∀・) Did you remember to slaughter all the Great Houses now that you no longer need them?
( ´ﾟωﾟ`) MUTHERSERA
[´ɯ`] what is LOVE? beep beep beep
(・∀・) Grandpa, what was life like before you became a creeper?
( ・-・) H-hey! Ask me something.
( ´ﾟωﾟ`) Suck my cawk
( ・-・) Chicken Butt! HAHAHAHAHAHA
(・∀・) Hey, gramps, did you watch Dragon Ball on-going?
( ´ﾟωﾟ`) Unlike you I went out and snapped the neck of every gook I could lay my hands on.
(・∀・) Grandpa, what's a gook? It sounds tasty.
( ´ﾟωﾟ`) A gook is a freshly roasted yellow man, and yes, it is quite tasty.
( ´ω`) I don't mean to generalizhe, but all women are bashtards.
(・∀・) Grandpa, if it's true that you froze your ass off in the Winter of '92, why do you still have your ass?
( ´ω`) I do not "still" have my ass.
( ・ω・) ...
( ´ω`) Hey, Junior!
( ・ω・) Check my sweet 700 GET, gramps!!
( ´ω`) Well, shit on me and put it on Youtube! If that don't beat all!
( ・-・) 700ge- oh you fucking fuckface fuckass fuckknuckle
( ´ω`) Back in my day, we didn't have pants.
(・∀・) How did you keep your goolies warm?
( ´ω`) Strap a mated pair of marmosets to 'em. Keeps 'em nice and cozy.
(・∀・) Won't they bite?
( ´ω`) The marmosets or the goolies?
(・∀・) uh... both?
( ´ω`) Remember a time when you didn't have to wait over 1000 days to fill out a Grandpa thread?
( ´ω`) Remember when you had a steady source of borderline racist sayings from a harmless old codger without needing to resort to theme threads that grasp at straws?
( ´ω`) Remember when you could ask any question in the safety of an ancestral abode with the knowledge that no matter what you asked, you would be judged?
( ´ω`) Grandpa remembers. Or at least he would, if he weren't ambiguously afflicted by Alzheimer disease.
( ・-・) The joke is that he's old.
Is this a roleplaying thing?
( ´ω`) I remember listening to the Rollplayer EP. Now that's what I'd call music!
( ´ω`) If I weren't deaf.
okay so ITT
one person pretends to be a man with an anime face (the grandpa)
and one person pretends to be a boy with an upside A for a face (the fuck?), his son
and you guys have been doing this
for multiple threads
for over 700 posts
what the fuck
(・∀・) We're through the looking glass here, folks.
( ´ω`) I'm so hungry...
( ´ω`) Damn my no good son. He said he'd bring food.
( ´ω`) I think I'm hearing those disembodied voices again. Fetch me my pills, Junior.
(・∀・) I spent your pill money on booze and reefer, gramps. Looks like you'll have to just deal with it.
>deal with it
ITT it is Something Awful [meta] [ITT] [goons]
( ´ω`) Something Awful, huh?
( ´ω`) I remember when they paid you to post!
( ´ω`) No pills hm? I guess I could always just huff the fumes from my fliver again.
( ´ω`) oh noes we are being /jp/-invaded :ohdear:
( ・-・) There was no invasion. It was all me. I derailed the entire board.
(・∀・) Grandpa, how long has it been since anyone bumped your thread?
(・∀・) But you know this because you majored in history, right?
( ´ω`) Everyone who anticipated a "no, I wuz THERE, kid" response, please raise your hands.
( ´ﾟωﾟ`) The white rhinoceros can drink up to eighty liters of water daily.
( ´ω`) Now I have to pee.
( ´ω`) But I'm so comfortable that I don't want to leave my chair.
( ´ﾟωﾟ`) I still have an Apple 2!
(´ﾟωﾟ`) Don't worry son, I only use it as a fishtank.
＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝∴∴＝＝＝＝
┃ ┃
┃ ┃
/ハ /ハ
ﾍ⌒∴ﾌ ﾍ∵ヽ∴
( ∴ω`） ( ´・∀∵） Gr∵ndpa, ∵h∴t th∵ fuck∴is tanasinn?
｛ U ∴l ｛ U∵Ul
∴.,____,ノ ヾ.∴∴___,∵
( ´ω`) You are Rupert, aren't you?
( ´ω`) PAT BOONE! That's it, you're Pat Boone.
(・∀・) .....
(・∀・) Who the fat flying Philedelphia FUCK is Pat Boone?
ﾐ*ﾟｰﾟ) So one day I --
( ´ω`) SHHH!!!
ﾐ*ﾟ-ﾟ) ...goddammit.
(・∀・) Why are all these outdated characters popping up again?
(・∀・) Natumi, you're old and busted. Fuck off back to The Learning Channel with all your freakshow cousins.
(・∀・) words words words
（ ｀ハ´） I do not care that I am playing into the stereotype for Sinitic criminal masterminds.
（ ｀ハ´） The Fu Manchu is to be respected, or at least feared.
( ´ω`) zzzzZzzzZZzzzzzzzz
(ہۧ ٮ ہۧ) I don't know what I'm doing
(・∀・) Grandpa, what was life like before the Grandpa thread went completely shitsplat?
( ´ω`) I remember seeing Rob Zombie's "Werewolves of the S.S."
( ´ω`) Nicholas Cage made a great Fu Manchu.
(・∀・) Grandpa, what was life like before you destroyed civilization with all those C4 Clonepas?
( ´ω`) You're terminal.
(・∀・) Grandpa, where are we from?
| ◎∧
| ･ิω･ิ) It's Gnome-virtual-terminal!
|. V ﾊ
|___:|__|)
|__)＿)
| ◎∧
| ･ิω･ิ) Actually it's because that would impede gun rights in the long run.
|. V ﾊ
|___:|__|)
|__)＿)
( ´ω`) Isn't there a Burger King meal waiting for you somewhere, Dr. Fartpants?
( ´ω`) What do you mean, Melouine?
(・∀・) You did it again. Looks like I will have to send you to a sanitarium because you are either schizophrenic or have Alzheimer's disease.
∧__∧ ∩ < Don't talk back!
（,,´ω`)彡☆
⊂彡☆))∀・)
(・∀・) Grandpa! Grandpa! Tell me a story!
( ´ω`) We used to release energy like there was no tomorrow.
( ´ω`) And now there is.
(∪´ω`) I'm a dog
( ´ω`) All I can see of you is your head.
(・∀・)(・∀・)(・∀・)(・∀・) No! They're me and I'm keeping them!
( ・-・) Keep telling yourself that
( ・-・) Think you're so smart with your cigarettes and metaphors? Two can play at that game!
( ・-・)っ-̾
( x-x)っ-̾
(・∀・) Grandpa, how did you smoke for so many years and not die of cancer?
( ´ω`) You do that.
( ´ω`) I'm going out for a beer or five.
|彡
( ´ω`) Jello Pudding.
( ´ω`) No, I don't owe you a damn thing.
( ´ω`) Talk to your dad, if you can find him.
(・∀・) You know Dad left me with you so he could live out his dream of eating at least one meal in every Burger King on Earth.
(・∀・) Last I heard, he was working his way through Chicago.
（・∀・）Morara. Morara!
（・∀・）Morara! Morara! Morara! Morara!
（・∀・）MORARA!
( ・-・) Junior, I am so, so proud of you.
( ´ω`) Morara
∧__∧ ∩ Don't bring that Satan worship talk into this house!
（,,´ω`)彡☆
⊂彡☆))∀・)
( ・-・) But I just finished my papier mache Baphomet idol the other day...
( ´ω`) Stewed rabbit.
∩∩
( ・-・) Hey!
( ・_・) CLO NEPPA!
( ・_・) CLO NEPPA! IT IS ME, ORDIOROID FROM HIGH SCHOOL.
( ・ω・) No you're not.
( ´ω`) Hey, have you two heard of gmail.com?
( ・ω・) Is it bigger than a breadbox?
( ・ω・) Hehe. Breadbox.
( ´ω`) It don't work, but too many people out there really really want it to, and just won't let go.
( ´ω`) Most of them are afraid of having to take care of themselves.
(・∀・) So all that talk about cradle to grave care?
( ´ω`) The words of a cowardly baby who's terrified of personal responsibility, Timmy.
(・∀・) Wow. Communists are real pansies!
(・-・) 888ge- aw fuckwhistlemittenfuckbagshitflippingmittenpants.
( ´ω`) mitten pants?
(・∀・) Grandpa, what is the best way to find oneself a wife?
( ´ω`) Used to be you'd go and marry the first available girl who didn't outright hate you on sight. Now in these newfangled times, you'd bid for her on eBay.
(・∀・) I thought you hit Gramma over the head with your club and dragged her back to your cave.
(・∀・) Like a caveman.
(・∀・)
(・∀・) Because you're old.
( ´ω`) ....
( ´ω`) Oh yeah.
( ・-・) ...
( ・-・) Come on! Slap the shit outta him already!
(・∀・) Grandpa, why does this thread keep stalling out? Are you losing your touch? Has the world moved on from this whole cross-generational Q:A concept?
(・∀・) Or is it just that you suck?
( ´ω`) zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
( ´ω`) wha?
( ´ω`) We were covered by a molten scum of rocks, bobbing on the surface like rats.
( ´ω`) Later, when there was less heat, the mountains moved in to surround the land masses.
( ´ω`) They didn't know then that life, as we know it, was already taking over.
(・∀・)
(・∀・) Go on...
(・∀・) And then, entropy increased.
( ´ω`) Guess I'll have to kill you then. Stay right there while I get my gun.
(・∀・) Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fthagn!
/|\(;,;)/|\ Who summons me?
(・∀・) He did it!
( ´ω`) Who did who in the what now?
∧＿∧
（ ´ω`） /|\(;,;)/|\ I am
（ ） （ ）
｜ ｜ | ｜ ｜ |
（＿_）＿） （＿（＿）
( ・ωﾒ) Hay guys I just got back from my Halliburton contract and wa HOLY FUCKHAMMER OF GOD what is going on in this thread?
（ ´ω`）
(・∀・) Grandpa, are there many machines on Ix?
( ´ω`) Mostly refurbished HP laptops. Nothing really amazing there.
( ´ω`) Not as good as the ones on Richese.
( ´ω`) Also, you have to kill Beady Atriedes.
|＼
| |,
| | ・
|＿|: , ミ
|| ,・ ； Hot Diggety!
∧＿/∩ミ ,; ,|||
（ ・∀・ |_つ ｀ ：
（ ） ||・ 彡
| | |・: |￣|, ｀・,：
（＿__）__） | |、, . ,
・, | /＿∩∩＿
⊂（＿＿（ ・-・）⊃
( ´ω`) Well done, Timmy!
( ´ω`) You're already dead, sonny. This is Hell.
(・∀・) And the picked fish were nice, too!
(・∀・) Can we go home now?
( ´ω`) Get out of bed and finish your Clonepas before they get too burnt.
∧＿∧
（ ・∀・） And now my futon's burning. Great.
从| ⊃／(从;;;_人
／ └-(＿＿＿_／
￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
( ・-・) I'll get back to you on that in about 45 posts. Ish.
( ･ิω･ิ) Help me, father. I cheat on my girlfriend constantly.
( ´ω`) And when the hourglass has run out, the hourglass of temporality, when the noise of secular life has grown silent and its restless or ineffectual activism has come to an end, when everything around you is still, as it is in eternity, then eternity asks you and every individual in these millions and millions about only one thing: whether you have lived in despair or not.
( ・-・) Nah.
( ´ω`) That was no "messing about". Living in Camden was not the accident it sounds like.
( ´ω`) You remember Twibbly. He's the grandson that I like.
ksk
ksk
ksk
ksk
ksk
ksk
ksk
ksk