[Quantum theory] ITT we send the next poster to a parallel universe and they tell us about it [go] (468)

1 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6377 17:30

>>2 what is the parallel universe when the Sega Master System/Sega Mark III far more popular than the Nintendo NES/Famicom?

2 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6378 17:48

It's a fantastic universe. The one i should've been born in.

>>3 what is the parallel universe where mittens explode, causing thousands of fatalities every week?

3 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6379 03:09

People stopped making mittens.

>>4 what is the parallel universe where hot girls like pale, socially awkward weirdos?

4 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6379 15:39

That's where i come from, it's alright.

>>5 What is the parallel universe where music is currency?

5 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6379 17:10

Well, the stock market here looks a lot like itunes.

>>6 What is the parallel universe where people eat through their noses and poop through their ears?

6 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6379 19:02

People ride trains and buses on their knees with their heads on the seats, doing lines of cookie crumbs

Tell me >>7 what is it like where everyone has mechanical precision in their arm, hand and finger movements?

7 Name: 🔰!ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6380 00:03

Inventors of the printer simply lost all their money. Ha-ha, joking! Actually, people stabbed each other to death as soon as they discovered weak spots. It's quite lonely there.

Dear >>8, please describe the parallel universe where AOL never existed.

8 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6380 00:08

Mathematical proofs are that much more lengthy since you can't assume generalized results about limits.

>>9, hey >>9, what is it like in the universe where a flat chest is a status symbol?

9 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6380 01:23

Plastic surgeons that cut off boobs become extremely rich.

>>10 what does the parallel universe without Hitler look like?

10 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6380 02:25

Not as pleasant as you might think. World War II happened anyway. The USSR under Stalin invaded Poland, Finland, Japan, and the Baltic States in 1938, then Germany (the Weimar Republic was hardly able--or willing--to defend itself), and drove the Allied armies all the way back to the Pyrennees and the English Channel. The US and UK signed an armistice in 1940 on unfavorable terms rather than try to continue with what they saw as a lost cause. The Great Depression continued until the early 1960s and the Sino-Soviet Empire very nearly won that world's Cold War (there the historians call it the Protracted Struggle) until it fell apart in a bloody welter of ethno-nationalist counterrevolutions all over two continents. It's a much less affluent world than our own, and Western popculture is all bubblegum escapist fantasies about an imagined golden age before the war. In the year 2010 Warsaw and Paris are still bombed-out wastelands, but rumor has it that the US-Australasian Alliance has plans to put a man in orbit by the end of the next decade.

>>11, what's it like in the parallel universe where H. Ross Perot was elected US President in 1992?

11 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6380 05:23

It's pretty cool. The national deficit is gone, the Federal government is lean and unobtrusive, and there's no income tax any more. The economy is chugging right along, stronger than ever, and all other nations look up to us as a shining example of the best mankind can offer the universe.

Except for North Korea. Those guys are just crazy.

>>12, what's it like in the parallel universe where anti-gravity technology turned out to be the simplest thing ever?

12 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6380 14:30

The Patent Office took out a restraining order against me because I kept flying into their third-floor windows, and still won't allow anyone to patent it. :(

>>13, what's it like in the parallel universe where in the 9th Century, the big wave of Viking raids and Norman invasions was against Spain and the Mediterranean coast of North Africa rather than Western Europe?

13 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6381 03:49

Islamic society in Al-Andalus degrades, scholars don't flourish there, ancient Greek and Roman knowledge never gets reintroduced to Europe, the Renaissance never happens, Europe remains in the dark ages until the mid-20th century when it gets colonized by China.

>>14, what's it like in the parallel universe where the Central Powers win World War I?

14 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6381 20:31

The Central Powers built NIC Control Towers, it was only a few hours until there were no more flowers. On the other hand, pigs evolved and have even better tasting meat, though meat from females tastes better so new jobs opened up such as the job I got when I went there, I was a pigsower which was basically giving pigs sex change operations

15 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6381 20:33

I heard you've been to the "blood is heroin" universe, >>16, what's it like?

16 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6381 22:21

Everyone overdosed at birth. There were no survivors.

What's it like in the universe where soylent blue is people, >>17?

17 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6381 23:55

Soylent Blue is tasty and nutritious but it's kind of trippy seeing John Wayne as Robert Thorn and Eli Wallach as Sol Roth. Imagine John Wayne shouting "It's people! Soylent Blue is people!" and you'll understand.

>>18, what's it like in the world where the Shah of Iran remained in power, and a modernized, Westernized, industrialized Iran made a peaceful transition to Western-style representative democracy/constitutional monarchy in 1991?

18 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6382 20:53

Their version of this thread derails into a political shitstorm when somebody asks a question implying that Iran would have been better off if Ayatollah Khomeini's revolution had succeeded and the next person wittily contradicts them and poses a question slanted toward their worldview.

>>19, how's it going in the universe where nobody has any feet?

19 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6382 23:34

It's not too good >>18! Everyone's missing appointments because they can't walk!

Hope it's going better for you in "massive-statue-praising universe" >>20!

20 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6383 03:37

>>19 We used up all our resources making massive statues to praise, so much like the inhabitants of Easter Island, we all died out.

>>21 What's it like in the parallel universe where Nintendo accepted iD Software's proposal to port Super Mario 3 to the PC?

21 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6383 11:19

There's no significant difference, >>20. Beady Eyes got involved and derailed the project, the same way he derails threads. The project memos were released and were briefly on the New York Times best-seller list of comedy and humor books, though.

>>22, what's it like in the parallel universe that's identical to this one, except that about ten minutes ago, in a sandstorm on the surface of Mars, a single particle of dust moved a centimeter or two away from the position held by our universe's version of that particle?

22 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6383 18:01


>>23, what's it like in the parallel universe where underwear cleans itself?

23 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6383 20:20

It's lemony fresh.

So I heard Spain conquered the UK at the beginning of the 20th Century in your universe >>24? How's that working out for you?

24 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6383 20:22

>>22 Middle-aged Japanese businessmen don't have any dirty panties to sniff, so the perv shops sell used gym-wear instead, resulting in much more sport-related hentai.

>>24 What's it like in the parallel universe where Neanderthal Man didn't die out?

25 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6383 21:24

Paellas are the most popular dish in the world. Also, all Brits are terrific dancers with handsome smiles and straight teeth.

DQN is the most popular website in the world. Also, all vippers are terrific dances with handsome smiles and straight teeth.

>>26, how's the alternate universe where the USA President was a giant mecha loli?

26 Name: 🔰!ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6383 21:30

>>23,24 Spain is currently in all-out war with Neanderthal Empire. Stone missiles were recently introduced which made all weapon enthusiasts happy.

>>26 What's it like in the parallel universe where US and SU were competing to send the first man to Mars?

27 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6383 21:33

>>25 activists all over the world demand to ban USA.

Meanwhile, >>26's universe collapsed.

>>27 What's it like in the parallel universe where personal computers are as big as a wardrobe?

28 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6384 01:45

>>27 ENIAC was as big as the state of California. Illegal immigration was reduced dramatically because you had to have some serious computer technician skills to get anywhere.

>>29 what is the parallel universe like where Karl Marx was a hardcore capitalist?

29 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6384 14:22

There's surprisingly little difference, >>28. Leftist intellectuals and revolutionaries call themselves "Engelsian" or "Trotskyist" instead. Well, Leutonia from the old SCTV sketches became a real country in 1924. We're still not sure how that happened. Otherwise, you'd hardly notice.

>>30, what's it like in the parallel universe where everyone really IS named Squeeks?

30 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6384 19:37

>>29 Everyone wears a poop hat and has a shitty formspring account.

>>31 what's it like in the parallel universe where North Korea turned out to be a giant mech disguised as a country?

31 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6384 21:13

>>30 ... That's this universe.

>>32 How's that world where Atlantis is well above sea level?

32 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6385 00:32

>>31 It rose up into the sky, never to be seen again.

>>33 what is it like in the universe where the speed of light is 10 km/h?

33 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6385 04:52

It's kinda boring. The sky is completely plain at night because no starlight has reached Earth yet.

>>34, how's it going in that universe where a freak solar flare interfered with human genetics and caused every baby born in the 1970's to be French?

34 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6385 05:17

à >>33 : quoi ?

>>35 Quelqu'un at-il comme ça quand George W. Bush fait ouvert la porte unopenable en Chine ?

35 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6385 12:04

>>35 Je ne sais pas la possibilité! Qui vous a dit quelque chose qui veut dire quelque chose! Je ne comprends pas le monde!

>>36 the report is: "Babelfish" technology is of the brain of the person made, and thus it speaks in a world of parallel. Tell, you.

36 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6385 17:43

>>35, it even brain pancake crystal elderly.

>>37, what's it like in the parallel universe where no one has yet conceived of the idea of parallel universes?

37 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6386 04:19

>>36 what are you talking about?

38 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6386 04:42

>>37 I dunno lol, how can I explain this when you don't even understand what you asked me to do but asked me to do it anyway? ... holy shit. I need a drink. Boy am I confused.

>>39, what's it like in the universe where hotdogs can miraculously cure just about anything?

39 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6386 07:26

All vegetarians died years ago.
>>40, how is the universe where snow is ice cream?

40 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6386 15:06

>>39 it's really, really sticky in spring.

>>41, how's the universe where all of our devices are flintstonian creatures.

41 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6387 00:22

I'd describe it in more detail, >>40, but the angry bird with the hammer and chisel inside this computer can't keep up with my typing.

>>42, how is it in the universe where the answer really is 42?

42 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6387 00:52

Pretty boring. Now that everyone knows, nobody strives for anything any more.

>>43, how is it in the universe where people reproduce by budding?

43 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6388 15:30


>>44, how is it in the universe where there's butter vending machines on the street and every house has a vodka tap?

44 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6388 17:01

Everyone is speaking Russian! I can't understand them.

>>46, what's it like in the universe where this thread isn't essentially a repeat of http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1250006606/l50 ?

45 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6388 17:02

Shit. I meant >>45. Although I suppose >>46 will have to answer it now anyway.

46 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6388 23:29

>>44 and >>45, it was briefly amusing, then the thread was derailed by Beady Eyes.

>>47, what's it like in the universe where North Korea, whose inhabitants are sometimes called "Norks," is actually inhabited by Orks?

47 Name: 🔰!ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6389 00:19

< ˃ ヮ˂> >>46, Corea proved its superiolity, nida. Everyone erse is non-existent, nida.

< ˃ ヮ˂> >>48 you tell me what's rike in the univelse without communism, nida. You tell how to invade, nida!

48 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6389 01:24

>>47 I'd answer that in full but I can't because I have a 12-hour workday and the boss will fire me if he sees me on here. As for invading us, don't worry, we'll collapse into barbarism soon enough.

>>49 What's it like in a Universe where clothes don't exist?

49 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6389 01:28

>>48 It makes life with a small penis even worse.

>>50 what is it like in the universe where Earth's continents were always like Pangea?

50 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6389 03:03

>>49 You wouldn't believe how close-minded everyone is.

>>51 Tell me of the amazing world where dinosaurs are assassins for hire.

51 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6389 06:51

>>50 It's not great.

>>52 So, how is that furfag nonexistence universe going???

52 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6389 08:25

Life without Espeon is great, man!

53 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6389 15:13

>>54, in the universe where >>52 didn't forget to post a question, what did he ask, and what was my response to it?

54 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6389 17:41

>>53, in that universe >>52 asked a question about what it's like to live in a parallel universe where Space Nazi Bad Guys ride on saddled dinosaurs and do battle against the forces of Good, who have giant robots and caped superhumans and hot-blooded heroes. Also, there are monkeys, pirates, ninjas, and zombies. And your answer was that it is AWESOME. Dangerous, but awesome.

>>55, what's it like in the universe where there was no drastic sudden influx of new users to Usenet and the Web in September of 1994, and there was no Eternal September?

55 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6390 00:17

>>54 It's horrible! Civilization is gone, governments collapsed, and the rule of law has disappeared. A few thousand days ago a horrible computer bug caused by the weird calendar they adopted for some reason made all technology stop working and society immediately collapsed. Thankfully, for us, September 2313th, 1993 came and went completely uneventfully.

>>56, what's it like in the universe where humans have an instinct to chop down trees with their teeth and use them to build dams?

56 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6390 00:58

I'm too busy gnawing on logs to talk about that, >>55

>>57, what's it like in the universe where the giant disembodied head of Colin Mochrie floats eerily over the landscape, shooting lazers out of his eyes pew pew pew?

57 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6390 01:22

>>56, motion pictures were invented in the 18th century for the express purpose of creating animutation, so our cinema technology is about 100~200 years cooler than in most universes, though other technology kind of lags behind as a result of everyone being a little caught up in the flicks.

>>58, what was it like in the universe where we found out that Junior is Grandpa... from THE FUTURE?

58 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6390 03:50

The stable time loops make it one hell of a confusing place. For example, King Henry IV is the 49th President of the United States. Very few people are history buffs because it makes most people's brains hurt too much. As a result astrophysics is a very popular field, and we've set up colonies in several remote galaxies.

>>59, how's that universe where anyone has really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

59 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6390 05:18

>>58 it's really cool, everyone is remarkably dressed!

You must get so much pussy, >>60, seeing as sex is food in your universe and you are really fat.

60 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6390 08:11

>>59 Actually my belly has swollen from severe malnourishment.

>>61, what's like in the universe where DQN doesn't exist?

61 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6390 12:26

>>60, that universe contains a SECRET AREA OF VIP QUALITY and DADDYCOOL will tell you about it for $10. Oh, wait.

>>62, what is it like in the universe where time travel is invented, then later on some crazy person travels back in time to kill the inventor before he can invent the time machine, over and over and over?

62 Name: 🔰!ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6391 00:12

>>61, it's alright for everyone but these two poor fellas who stuck in the loop.

>>63, what is it like in the universe where everyone is allowed to carry a pistol and has a right to kill one (and only one) other person?

63 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6391 05:14

>>62, very strange. Sometimes, when you're walking down the street, you hear a loud bang and turn to see some poor sap fall to the ground leaking blood everywhere. There is a small market for "extermination janitors", those on-call to clean up after the murders, and on the whole it's quite surreal.

>>64, what's it like in the universe where instead of video games, "Generation X" grew up primarily with increasingly maddening adaptations of the Rubik's Cube and various other twisty puzzles?

64 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6391 05:46

I brought back a picture of the greatest accomplishment of mankind. Have a look!

>>65, what's it like in the universe where women could take sexually explicit pictures of themselves that used neither a dirty mirror nor a blurry cell phone camera?

65 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6394 00:04

>>64 They proceed to load the picture into photoshop, and make a really shitty edit.

>>66 if the Rickroll wasn't used, what crappy 1980s song would be used as a prank?

66 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6394 04:40

>>65 I visited a number of universes where songs other than "Never Gonna Give You Up" are used to humorously misdirect people. Surprisingly, I found that they tend to gravitate towards the title theme from Monty Python's Meaning of Life. We're sort of an oddball universe in that we picked a 1980's song to begin with; most of them use music videos from the late 90's to today that feature bad CG graphics and involve the artist making a fool of himself.

>>67, What's it like in the universe where water occurs in situations that generate electricity in our universe, and vice versa?

67 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6395 22:14

>>66, Pikachu is a Water-type

>>68, what's it like in the Universe without this thread?

68 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6396 11:08

>>67 WARNING: Division by zero in /4-ch.net/DQN/

>>69, what's it like in the universe where seeing the number 69 doesn't cause adolescent giggling?

69 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6396 11:19

>>68, not well

Tell me >>70, what is it like in a world without niggers?

70 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6396 14:30

>>69, 4channers have to be more creative in their attempts to annoy.

>>71, what's it like in the universe where Karl Marx never wrote any books?

71 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6397 01:16

>>70, Linux never caught on, and everybody uses proprietary, closed-source models.

>>72, what is it like in the universe where you need three humans to procreate instead of two?

72 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6397 05:44

>>71, marriage never caught on. It's hard enough to keep two people together, let alone three. And it's harder to get laid too, since you have to convince two people instead of just one.

>>73, what's it like in the universe where sentient life evolved from cats instead of apes?

73 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6397 07:06

>>72, you can find Akihabara cafés where cute young girls dress up in maid uniforms and put on monkey ears and tails and try to say as many "ook"s as they can.

>>74, what can you tell me about the universe in which every person is required to go through a coming-of-age ritual involving tripping on ayahuasca?

74 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6397 10:19

The strongest adult bulletin board in Japan

75 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6397 10:40

>>74 (・々゚) aaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAああああああああああ

>>75, what's it like in the universe where nobody ever wastes anyone else's time (if you don't mind this universe's intrusion in my asking)?

76 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6410 18:59

>>75 never got an answer before being pulled into a single point from every direction spontaneously, which (to be fair) happened promptly and without any needless pleasantries.

>>77, what's it like in the universe where Richard Nixon really ended his political career for good after losing the election for governor of California?

77 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6410 20:17

>>76, Lyndon Johnson was reelected to the Presidency in 1968 only to become the central figure in the big Shoreham scandal of 1970, in which it was revealed operatives from his campaign were caught bugging the hotel rooms of perceived political rivals of both parties during the 1968 Democratic and Republican conventions, and was impeached and removed from office for his part in the cover-up. In that world's lexicon of American English political terms, affixing the prefix Shore- to something designates it as a gigantic shameful scandal.

William F. Buckley was elected President in 1972 on the Republican ticket, only to be assassinated minutes after taking the oath of office by Gore Vidal.

Vice President Barry Goldwater served the remainder of his term, which historians note for his authorization of the use of tactical nuclear weapons in Vietnam and his declaration of war against and invasion of Saudi Arabia in November 1973 in the response to King Faisal's seizure of US-owned oil fields and creation of OPEC.

>>78, what's it like in the universe where I thought of something funny and clever, instead of trying to create a vaguely plausible alternate history?

78 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6411 00:44

i'm jealous of your work >>77, the grass is indeed greener in your universe

No guns in your universe >>79!? What's it like?

79 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6411 13:04

I'm afraid I can't answer you, as there is a spear stuck in my head.
>>80, what's it like in the universe where the heart is where thinking happens, witches exist, and other such old-timey misconceptions are actually true?

80 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6411 23:38

( ゚ -゚) >>79, most people lose their souls to all sorts of dumb things, like cameras and looking into mirrors at night.

>>80, What's it like in the universe where North Korea is an alright place?

81 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6412 00:31

>>80 The leader's theatrical plays are not nearly a funny or epic.
Good thing there are a huge number of other TV shows thanks to the fact that state-owned media is a tiny fraction of all media here. Sometimes I hang out with some South Korean friends, and we all have a good time making fun of Japanese. It sure is a relief not hearing American military guys say stuff to us, defending those people.

What is the alternate universe like where you can make a comic book character come to life if you really want it to?

82 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6412 01:43

>>81 Some chucklefuck summoned Galactus and now there are no comics any more.

>>83, What's it like in the universe where no one ever bothered to colonize Canada?

83 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6420 23:01

>>82 Nobody ever learns how good seal blood can taste.

>>84 What is the universe like where the Nissan R32, R33, and R34 GT-R was also made with left-hand drive, and sold in the USA and in most of Europe?

84 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6425 14:30

I'm sorry, but I couldn't answer faster since our internet conection is so slow... there may be already like 80 post in this thread when mine arrives...
This world is interesting. You can see some relativistic effects on plain sigh, but there are no cars, since they need a lot of fuel to reach 6/7 km/h and you would need to readjust your watch when you arrived your destination (and you should pray so it keeps being there)... not to talk about a crash at that speed...

By the way, >>33, how in the hell did you manage to answer that quickly?

Let's hope I don't miss this:
>>85, how is the world that 83 suggested? (this way, if I did it right, I won't break the chain).

85 Name: 🔰!ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6425 23:00

>>83,84, slowly but surely people around the globe became as soulless as these cars. Those horrible blank faces...

>>86-san, what is the universe like where absolutely everyone has beards, even little kids?

86 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6426 06:03

Huge quantities of toothpicks are wasted on a daily basis. Deforestation is a huge problem.

>>87, how's the universe where there's always a rainbow in the sky?

87 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6426 07:09

>>86 They've lost their charm.

yeah so >>88 everyone's head is a musical instrument? How does THAT work?

88 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6426 08:54

Well, >>87, most people are good at playing themselves, but the most interesting relations arise between people who are good at playing others. The only problem is some people's heads are higher quality instruments than others, so there's lots of discrimination and prejudice.

Also, being born with a piano for a head is a curse.

>>89, how's it feel to live in a universe where semen is both healthy and delicious?

89 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6426 12:55

Chew fed deaf da logo!

90 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6427 00:09

>>88 The birth rate is low because having semen put up a vagina in that universe is considered as wasteful as using a fine wine as a douche in this universe.

>>91 what is the universe like in which smoking cigarettes makes people live 10 years longer?

91 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6443 00:36

>>90 All the now almost-immortal people have retreated to underground cities with the last remaining supplies of clean air, because Earth's atmosphere is now 70% second-hand smoke.

>>90, what's it like in the universe where the MPAA is exclusively dedicated to porn movies, and the only movies without sex scenes are made in Europe and Japan?

92 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6447 20:56

>>91 Americans would have to entertain themselves by re-creating scenes from Jackass in real life.

>>92 What is the universe like in which with enough martial arts training, one can fly, fire Kamehameha beams, power up and do various other things from Dragon Ball Z?

93 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6448 00:39

>>92, it's devoid of life more complex than blue-green algae. It seems that since every intelligent tool-using life form sooner or later comes around to the idea of martial arts, then spawns some chucklefuck who destroys the planet with a super-focused-hiryu-shoten-ha-kamehameha attack in a fit of pique at his ex-girlfriend.

>>94, what's it like in the universe where Beady Eyes doesn't derail threads?

94 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6448 23:35

>>93 ( ・-・) It is unbearable.

>>95 ( ・-・) What's it like in the universe where this thread was derailed?

95 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6449 00:54

>>94 We just got on with our lives.

I must say I'm quite envious of you >>96, living in a universe where all music is free and legal, and musicians do it for the love rather than dreams of fame and fortune. Surely there's a downside?

96 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6449 01:09

>>95 at least in this version of this universe, all musicians live in abject poverty, instead of just most of them.

>>97 Any difference in taste between the universe where chlorophyll is purple and this one?

97 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6465 14:51

>>96, the Purple People Eaters have an easier time sneaking up on us if we go outdoors without our thermal vision goggles.

>>98, what's it like in the universe where the average IQ is forty points higher?

98 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6465 22:16

>>97 We don't have *chan sites here, sorry.

>>99 What's it like in the universe where humans don't have penises and mate the way birds do?

99 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6466 03:09

>>98 Penises seem unnecessarily intrusive. Also, a whole lotta scissorin' goin' on.

>>100 What's it like in the universe where cats have thumbs?

100 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6466 03:55

>>99 Cat thumb-wrestling is a fairly widespread but heavily policed sport. Awareness groups exist that try to scare people with images of fist-locked cats, while surrounding them crowds of poorly dressed third-worlders shout and whoop while holding paper bills. Also cat-sized pet-doors have been replaced with cat-sized upright doors complete with working doorknobs.

>>101 What's it like in the universe where audiophiles prefer cassette tapes to vinyl?

101 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6467 03:35

>>100 In one way it's great, no-one gives a shit about FLAC and there was never a loudness war, but on the other hand all audio engineers are obsessed with compressing music and most remixes just consist of the song being pitch shifted about then breaking about half-way in.

>>102 What's it like in the universe where whisky tastes like orange juice?

102 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6467 10:01


Aarrj BREAKFASSTSS ARE AFUCKCING GREAT HEWRE An d bacoon is tthasty tooq and cofeefe i fukcing lobe that shittt with 6754343 sugrars and sf s some milkl in trooooooo

>11103 Qha'ts it like in the uvinerse where buialdaing marteirals crumble int otheir comnpoment parts after a few yearas!

103 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6467 20:03

>>102, We all still live in caves, which are the only stable shelter from the elements because they were not built in the first place.

>>104, what's it like in the universe where everyone has his own dramatic theme music?

104 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6467 22:07

>>103 It's sometimes cool when someone enters the room, but shopping malls have to provide free earplugs. Also, concerts and gigs simply don't exist here.

>>104 What's it like in the universe where light and darkness have swapped places?

105 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6467 22:38

>>104 Whatever you can imagine it being like, would be an understatement

Over in your fingers-contain-marker-pens universe >>105. What's it like? Is it on? Is it off? Reply!

106 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6468 17:48

>>105, there's graffiti EVERYWHERE.

>>107, what's it like in the universe where, instead of introducing hot peppers to the Szechwan province of China in the early 19th Century, Christian missionaries had convinced the local people to begin cultivating oats instead?

107 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6469 10:54

>>106 The Chinese version of the Quaker Oats Man looks hideous.

>>108 What is the universe like where the Ninja Turtles TV show never existed?

108 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6470 12:47

Ninja Turd what??

What's happening in the world without itchy bum?

109 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6470 13:29

>>108 we're all quite comfortable!

>>110 Cigarettes are healthy over there? What's that like?

110 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6470 15:18

>>109 read thread >>91 and remember that. I gave up smoking because I didn't feel like living in that terrible place anymore.

>>111 What is the universe like where people can telepathically change the way they smell?

111 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6471 00:16

>>110 Teenage boys smell even more like dried semen

>>112, what's it like in the Universe where Paul Robeson is still alive and kicking?

112 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6643 01:16

>>111 The Manic Street Preachers have a few better songs

>>113 what's it like where the etiquette and sort of social norms here on /dqn/ are actually how everyone acts IRL and vice versa?

113 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6643 15:48

>>112 I'll just say that everyone and everything smells of rancid semen, until you get to the basement rooms where the PCs are set up, which are surprisingly clean and pleasant.

>>114, what's it like in that timeline where the thing that does the stuff actually works and does the stuff that here it doesn't so much?

114 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6643 20:22

4chan is great and DQN is awful. Being a NEET has allowed me to have a nice house and a lot of drugs.

Tell me about the alternate universe where Korea is the center of nerd culture rather than Japan.

115 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6643 21:01

<丶`∀´> kekeke, this universe is infinitely superior nida. Everybody is talking about the new manhwa, and fat American housewives watch K-drama instead of soap opera nida. But choppari still not give us our apology juice nida.

<丶`∀´> What is it like in the universe where we actually got our apology juice ni-ka?

116 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6644 02:29

>>115 Other nations start demanding their own apolojoice immediately after Korea gets their apolojuice.

>>117 What is the alternate reality where all 50 States in the USA are exactly like California?

117 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6663 04:10

>>116 I don't know, really - in that universe, I live in Canada and don't read the news much.

>>118 What's it like in the slightly alternate universe where Jello brand lemon pudding tastes like lemons and not Fruit Loops?

118 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6669 03:20

>>117 We all forgot the name of that bird that advertises Fruit Loops.

>>119 What is it like in the universe where easy modo does not exist?

119 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6669 17:39

>>118 In the West being a gamer is considered a mental disorder in all but name, in Japan and Korea, everyone under the age of 60 either weights less than 6 stone or more than 30, arthritis is a largely ignored epidemic, the economy and class system is largely based on Tohou speedruns ever since society had to rebuild itself after the great Starcraft scandal of 2010 and Daigo is pretty much treated as the unofficial emperor of Japan, which really doesn't make much difference to his lifestyle.

>>120 What is it like in the universe where procrastination does not exist?

120 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6670 03:53

>>119 shit gets DONE

>>121 what's it like in the universe where everything goes really great for me and good stuff just sort of happens and i never feel bad? oh never mind that's this universe haha

121 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6687 12:21

>>120 WTF?

>>122 What is it like in the universe where steampunk is as efficient as all other forms of energy?

122 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6687 15:05

>>121, >>120 has OBVSLY tapped the power of TANASINN.

Also, in the universe where steampunk stuff actually works and is practical, an enormous clockwork golem went on a rampage in Paris last week, clanking about the city smashing things, naturally immune to bullets and cannonballs due to its massive riveted armor, and only stopped mid-frenzy because its AI computer got a tiny thin bit of onionskin paper jammed between two of its gears, causing it to jam and halt. And a mysterious madman calling himself Doctor Malice is besieging Schenectady, New York with an army of mechanical beetles, demanding "one meelion dollars" ransom to spare the city. It kind of sucks here, actually. It's dangerous and dirty, and the fact that all the women wear brass-boned corsets and tiny top hats does not quite compensate. Not every woman has the figure for a corset, you know.

>>123, what's it like in the universe where the Internet bridged cultural gaps and made the world more peaceful and democratic back in the 90s, as we all hoped it would, instead of being taken over by the corporations and turned into basically another kind of television?

123 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6688 13:27

>>122 The internet is mostly full of crappy Geocities pages.

>>124 What is it like in the universe where all voice synthesizers sound like real voices?

124 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6688 16:22

>>123, my ROFLcopter no longer goes "soi, soi, soi." ;_;

>>125, what's it like in the universe where professional singers all sound like Vocaloids?

125 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6688 19:09

>>124 People lik Lady Gaga and Katy Perry and Ke$ha are famous pop stars with multiple chart hits.

>>126 What's it like in the universe where people never say the wrong thing?

126 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6689 02:33

>>125 We reached moral and technological zenith ages ago and now spend our infinite quota of time entertaining ourselves in an infinite processor-space where, sometimes, things aren't as perfect as they were for us.

>>127 What's it like in the universe where humanity has always and will always possess the immovable conviction that penguins are somehow the most divine creatures in existence?

127 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6689 15:33

>>126 Enormous temples, shrines, and churches are built on Antarctica, and many people travel there because it is the most holy thing to do.

>>128 what is it like in the universe where motivational posters don't exist, but demotivational posters do exist?

128 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6699 14:09

>>127 Humanity has peacefully ended. Thank you!

>>129 What's it like in the universe where insightful online commentary is considered the highest artform?

129 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6699 15:27

>>128, it's amazing. Squeeks just won the Nobel Peace Prize for creating 4-ch.

>>130, what's it like in the universe where 4chan never suffers a DDoS, no matter how often m00t leaves to make soup?

130 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6699 16:20

>>129 4chan still is, always has been and always will be - in this universe and every other - shit.

>>131 What's it like in the universe where incorrect spelling and grammar are punishable by death?

131 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6699 18:07

>>130 Governments have conjunctive prescriptivist-execution departments designed for the sole purpose of dealing with rogue squads of publishers who write and distribute whole anthologies rewritten to be as grammatically incorrect as possible. The Internet was shut down very quickly, and no new written material is ever published except by authorized facilities whose works are thoroughly scrutinized for their purity. Speech is, for most, the sole method of communication, and a tentative one at that. The once beautiful sprawling progression of languages worldwide has been halted to a standstill.

>>132 What's it like in the universe where Ron Paul Ron Paul?

132 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6700 01:03

We met him on a Monday and our hearts stood still,

 Da doo run Ron Paul, da doo run Ron

And then we learned he'd veto almost every bill,

 Da doo run Ron Paul, da doo run Ron

YEAH, he's not afraid to act
YEAH, he'll cut the income tax
YEAH, he'll knock Obama flat

 Da doo run Ron Paul, da doo run Ron

>>133, what's it like in the universe where I actually came up with something original instead of ripping off Spitting Image without even giving proper attribution? I'm a right bastard, I am.

133 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6700 01:29

>>132 You are Lady GaGa's backup singer.

>>134 what is it like in the universe where the financial incentive to do stuff doesn't exist?

134 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6700 02:05

>>133 It's like a world-wide Cabrini Green, except with less crime and more lying around like useless sacks of shit.

>>135 What's it like in the universe where governments never spend more than they take in?

135 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6708 21:40

>>134, it's very peaceful. They have decided that war is too wasteful expensive. The roads aren't always well-maintained, but maybe they'll have the money to fix those next year.

>>136, What's it like in the parallel universe where the US remained isolationist and stayed out of all the global struggles of the 20th and early 21st Centuries and maintained neutrality and friendly relations with all powers to the best of its ability?

136 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6708 21:55

>>135 The US never became a major world superpower. The British Empire was re-established, and currently covers more than 40% of Earth's landmass. People drink more tea on average.

>>137, What's it like in the universe where irrefutable proof has been found that the world is going to end at the end of 2012?

137 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6708 22:06

>>136, everyone is panicking, except for that world's three DQNs, who are striving to get this thread up to 999 posts before the end of the world, but we are not sanguine about our chances.

>>138, what's it like in the world where fast food consists mainly of rapidly-assembled chicken or peanut butter sandwiches on whole wheat bread, served with a salad or a paper cup of steamed vegetables, and other healthy low-fat fare, instead of the greasy stuff to which we have become accustomed here?

138 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6710 22:35

Greasy food is a delicacy. Fried chicken costs $30 a pound and it's very hard to get outside of luxury restaurants. On the other hand, life expectancy is 100 years and everyone's slim, except the extremely wealthy... I can't say I'd rather have it any other way (though I do wish I could get my hands on greasy food more easily)

What's it like in the universe of the last animated show you watched?

139 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6711 14:35

>>138 one out of 3 people are huge nerds.

>>140 what is it like in the parallel universe where hornets and wasps don't exist?

140 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6711 14:54

>>139 I'm a very happy bunny! The birds etc. that feed on wasps in your universe carry on regardless by preying on the larger number of insects normally preyed on by wasps in your universe

>>141 What's it like in the universe where all companies are genuinely aiming to make people happy and provide good service rather than make a profit?

141 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6711 19:15

It's a communist utopia. The good kind, not the Animal Farm kind.

What's it like in the universe where everybody has telepathy?

142 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6712 01:36

I knew you were going to ask that, >>141.

>>143, what's it like in the parallel universe where /dqn/ is as popular as /b/?

143 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6712 01:49

Remember when /dqn/ was good? I do. And it still is, actually. The fact that imagery is restricted to archaic but creative ASCII alternatives drives the userbase towards a more unique identity, even if at the heart of it we're just a sort of an English /news4vip/. It's heartwarming to think that all the time us five spent here wasn't entirely for naught... that somewhere, somehow, the cry for QUALITY reached the souls of every dokyun in the world, bringing them happily together.

What's it like in the universe where math doesn't make any sense and, for some reason, everyone really enjoys wearing paper cranes on their head?

144 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6714 18:13

Greater than greater than one four three
Sorry, what's with this weird blue text you keep putting before paragraphs? I can understand the individual symbols, but it doesn't mean anything to me. I should just put my lucky purple crane on my head, it always cheers me up.

Greater than greater than one four five
What's it like in the universe where sausages are used in place of money?

145 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6714 18:14

It sure smells a whole hell of a lot worse.

146 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6714 18:18


What's it like in the universe where cats can sing instead of purr?

147 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6714 18:37

The internet has a lot more cat videos than in your universe.

What's it like in the universe where hallucinogenic substances are generally accepted and regularily used by most people?

148 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6714 21:53

It's a bit hard to tell what it's like in the actual universe. Assuming such a thing as objective reality exists, that is. Duuuude.

What's it like in the universe where there is no such thing as communication errors nor misinterpretations?

149 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6715 15:41

Very slightly more efficient and very slightly less exciting.

What's it like in the universe where catgirls are real?

150 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6715 15:59

>>149, Feline-Americans are poor a minority with a seemingly insurmountable problem with drugs and crime and are ruthlessly exploited by corporations and the prison system, keeping them in a perpetual spiral of ignorance and poverty.

>>151, what's it like in the universe where everyone is illiterate?

151 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6715 18:01


>>152-feg fuck yof what is it in univress where koreens captchures the whole Eart gloub?

152 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6715 19:24

>>46 and >>47 already discussed that one, >>151.

      ミ ∠_)
         /   \\
       Γ/了    | |
        |.@|    | |   smek smek smek
       | / |    人
       |/ |    <  >_Λ∩
      _/  | //.V˃ ヮ˂)/←>>151
     (_フ彡        /

>>153, what's it like in the universe where what we regard as human virtues are perceived as vices, and vices perceived as virtues?

153 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6716 02:38

>>152 There are brothels, except they are where you go to get one woman who you will only have sex with your entire life.

What is it like in the universe where Toyota never stopped building affordable RWD compact cars that were like the AE86?

154 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6716 16:42

Toyota, as a business, is slightly more successful.

What's it like in the universe where everyone still uses Roman numeral?

155 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6718 01:08

Technological progress has been crippled, much like in your universe's Safehold series of SF novels.

What's it like in the universe where the Japanese History Textbook Controversy sparked a full-blown war between Japan, China and both Koreas?

156 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6719 17:51

>>155 Japan? Oh, you mean the antiquated name for Corea Island.

>>157, what's it like in the universe where everyone is civil and reasonable on the internet but a smug jerk in real life?

157 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6719 18:26

Quite unpleasant, I don't think you'd enjoy a visit. Mind you, meetings at the office becoming a smugness circlejerk does grow on you.

What's it like in the universe where all diseases were eradicated in the early Middle Ages?

158 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6721 03:21

>>157 The population is insanely large.

>>159 What is it like in the universe where population never reaches an uncomfortable level?

159 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6721 11:29

Everybody's dead, Dave.

What's it like in the universe where all myths are true?

160 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6721 20:08

Really, really, really, confusing. Seriously, I just have no idea what the fuck is going on any more. I'm still trying to get to Gensokyo, but I don't know how...

What's it like in the universe where people are naturally kind, helpful and philanthropic?

161 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6723 16:27

>>160 It so so awesome not to have to pay so much in taxes.

>>162 What is it like in the universe where man boobs are as desirable as women's boobs.

162 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6723 19:10

I've met a female flatchest enthusiast with the same condition and we make love.

Tell me about the universe that you live in right now.

163 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6723 19:51

It's pretty shit, but as long as Touhou and DQN still exist, I won't be seeking to leave it any time soon.

What's it like in the universe where there is no actual distinction between seasons?

164 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6723 20:25

>>163 Welcome to Los Angeles, California.

>>165 what is it like in the universe where logic does not exist?

165 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6723 22:20

I don't know, I can't make a judgement on it.

What's it like in the universe where humans procreate by mitosis?

166 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6725 00:07

>>165 The retarded people split at the wrong time.

>>167 what is it like in the universe where people can do anythig without causing man made climate change?

167 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6725 00:15

>>166 It got locked in an infinite paradox loop when someone caused man made climate change without causing man made climate change.

>>168 What's it like in the world where all the horrible things they post in those YouTube chain messages actually happen if you don't repost?

168 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6725 02:03

>>167 There's big business in special cages for pots and pans to stop birds coming in and messing them up.

It must be pretty decent in your universe >>169, where everything is beautiful, and nothing hurts?

169 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6725 11:33

More boring than anything. I'd love to go to >>169's universe, the one where EVERYTHING's exciting, even if there's ugly and pain.

170 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6725 11:36

fuck FUCK *slams face against wall*

171 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6725 12:17


What's it like in the universe where everyone considers themselves to be a philosopher?

172 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6738 22:14

Shit doesn't get done because everyone is arguing why it should be done, what is the purpose of it, would it get itself done if you wait a bit longer, etc.

What's it like in the universe where everyone is hunk.

173 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6741 23:30

how can there even BE this much gay pornography

How's the universe where The Rei's actually has service and food?

174 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6741 23:39

Why wouldn't the Rei's serve food? What kind of messed up universe do you live in?

What's it like in the universe where the lives of animals are considered to be equally important to the lives of humans?

175 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6742 00:06

>>174 Cannibalism isn't considered a bad thing. You can get human meat burgers or beef burgers at McDonalds.

>>176 What is it like in the universe where everyone who speaks English sounds like Sean Connery?

176 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6742 00:38

English as a language died out in medieval times. The language I'm speaking now is a strange conquelition of several Indo-European languages which should maritrate to your universe's English. Hopefully you can overbrank me!

What's it lik∴∵n the un∴∵∴erse wh∴∵∴∵∴∵TANASINN∵∴∵ a∴∵∴∵∴∵gni∴∵rel∴giou∴∵∴∵∴∵?

177 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6742 08:45

∴p[∴[ r∴[ly s∴[∴g[ p∴[∴t∴[ ∴[h∴


              n             a  .. 
                   ______/  /
          .. n .  \  \ ○ ./  /   n  .. 
                  .\  \/  /
                    .\  \/
              i      .\      a  .. 


What's the universe like where /dqn/ has exactly 8 regulars?

178 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6753 19:17

Posts get refreshed so fast you can barely come up with a witty reply anymore! I hate it so much that I opened my own /dqn/ board which nobody but me can access. It's the best freaking board ever, and all its posters agree!

What's it like in the universe where the Gensoukyou barrier was accidentally demolished by NASA?

179 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6753 22:22

We momentarily prioritize the investigation of strange, youkai-infested extra dimensions over space travel. Several million die, and a million-odd more spontaneously transmogrify into young girls with catastrophic superpowers. The structure of global politics changes drastically as nuclear arsenals and intelligence gathering technology are rendered all but obsolete, causing treaties, trade and foreign policy to change at the whim of grown adults with curiously immature temperaments. Society as a whole gravitates back to an institution of slavery as those with powers forcibly coerce those without them.

Very soon, however, Earth becomes overrun with strife, and we are once again drawn to extraterrestrial environments for resources and population management. Each habitable planet becomes a sort of Gensoukyo in itself, replete with "shrine maidens" monitoring them inward and out. Supernatural young girls are stationed in space as Holy Guards. Interstellar trade does not develop - or if it does, remains highly volatile due to both unfit technology and sparse demand.

Also, "bullet hell" becomes a galaxy-wide sport.

What's it like in the universe where the strong nuclear force is ten times stronger than ours?

180 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6754 22:43

>>179 Over 95% of the universe's available hydrogen was converted to helium and heavier elements in the first hundred million years after the Big Bang, making hydrogen, and therefore water, exceedingly rare in this universe. Life as we know it never evolved. Tens of billions of years into the existence of this universe, with its bloated, dim red suns and sterile dusty rockball planets, fragile and delicate life based on the unique properties of liquid helium did occasionally evolve in a few appropriately sheltered locales, always of course unable to tolerate temperatures higher than a fraction of one degree Kelvin. Occasionally this life eventually achieved intelligence, in the sense that they were able to perceive themselves and their environments and solve problems that arose, but never left the shelter of its cold rocky worlds far from their primaries, never made complex tools, never indeed even developed in the numbers for complex societies or civilizations to develop. And not much changed between then and the heat death of that particular universe, at the age of only thirty or forty billion years.

>>181, what's it like in the universe where Westphalian sovereignty remained the central concept of international law through the 20th and 21st Centuries?

181 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6756 18:43

>>180 The VW Westphalia van is more popular and superior than any Winnebago or Airstream.

>>182 What is it like in the universe where money does not get inflated?

182 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6756 19:24

>>181 It's quite flat.

>>183 What is is like the the universe of Finnegans Wake?

183 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6756 21:13

>>182, it's a way a lone a last a loved a long the / riverrun, past Eve and Adam's, from swerve of shore to bend of bay, brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to Howth Castle and Environs.

>>184, what's it like in the universe where what is for us the "emergency mittens" button releases emergency pants instead?

184 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6759 19:37

Terrible. It's a world built on nothing but betrayal, disillusionment and cold hands.

What's it like in the universe where humans never evolved, but birds somehow gained sentience?

185 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6759 19:51

The world is a much more beautiful place, rou rou~!

Next guy: What's the universe where phones work well with DQN like.

186 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6759 22:10


Its amazon! Even the CAPTAINS are easy to tympanum!


How be it in the universe where conjugation of verbs never develop?

187 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6760 14:12

Grammar Nazis have a lot lower blood pressure on average, but cannot help feeling as if something be amiss.

What be it like in the universe where people assign scores to every dispute, no matter how minor, and publish global high scores of the best debaters for everyone to see?

188 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6760 16:41

>>187 Monty Python's argument clinic gets thousands of people everyday who would otherwise be trying to get the greatest number of XBOX 360 achievements unlocked.

>>189 What is it like in the universe where everybody is extremely nerdy?

189 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6762 06:23

Sexual intercourse is a myth and reproduction is achieved through artificial means. Also, everyone is a superhero.

What's it like in the universe with the same level of scientific understanding as us, except in a completely non-mathematical, almost artistic form?

190 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6762 21:55

Apple Computers outsold IBM-compatibles by such a great margin that Microsoft decided to switch to supporting Power PC architecture exclusively in 1997. It didn't help much, but they were able to stave off bankruptcy for another four years.

What's it like in the universe where communist utopias are the norm for human society?

191 Name: !ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6762 23:21

It's really sweet here. Everyone is busy doing their job for the sake of advancing the mankind through the universe. Yet there is still place for fun!

Everyone is explorer!! >w<

What's it like in the universe where personality constructs were real? (like in Gibson's Neuromancer!)

192 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6763 08:20

We feel more isolated than ever before.

What's it like in the universe where all CAPTCHAs are easy for computers to read and difficult for humans?

193 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6763 11:01

We're about to find out, thanks to the continuing arms race between CAPTCHA designers and OCR-developing spammers.

What's it like in the universe where a sense of vision has never evolved?

194 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6763 12:51

Colourblindness is not an issue.

What's it like in the universe where everything is, in some way or another, a tree?

195 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6763 16:20

>>194 CO2 emissions are extremely valuable.

>>196 What is it like in the universe where nobody needs to drink water?

196 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6763 16:37

>>195 The oceans are made of oil.

>>197 What's it like in the universe where all .net domains and .org domains are switched to .org and .net, respectively?

197 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6763 18:29

I... this is... how could this...
Why would you send me to THIS universe? WHY‽

What's it like in the universe where the Earth is flat?

198 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6763 21:13

You can't fool me, >>197. It's turtles all the way down.

>>199, what's it like in the universe where the interrobang is an accepted part of English punctuation and every computer and typewriter keyboard has one?

199 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6763 21:48

It's immeasurably better! By which I mean it's such a small difference that I literally can't measure it.

What's it like in the universe where momentous GETs are celebrated with champagne and parties, much like New Year's?

200 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6764 02:35

hahah oh man thi party is grewat you should beh ere!

So ALL sentences are questions? How does that work, exactly?

201 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6764 03:53

How else should we talk?

What's it like in the universe where Earth's dominant intelligent life form is adorable pastel-colored talking ponies instead of killer apes who write killer apps?

202 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6764 07:07


The iPhone has been revamped as a sugar-filled plastic wrapper because everybody keeps breaking it with their hooves. Also, Project Orion was put into practice, leading to significant concentrations of Antarctic fallout.


What's it like in the world where LaMont Cranston is a real person and The Shadow is a gonzo documentary?

203 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6772 15:52

Even in this universe, I haven't heard of either of those things/people. Sorry.

What's it like in the universe where the number of humans on the planet is incapable of exceeding one million?

204 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6775 22:21

I can hardly distract all these nubile females from trying to mount me long enough to reply to your post! If you have an insatiable sex drive, I heartily recommend this universe.

What's it like in the universe where the Chinese writing system completely replaced the Roman alphabet worldwide in the early 1350s?

205 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6776 03:25

>>204, 它承载的是w。但是,如果没有实际w。

>>206, 你想#4特别额外的辣?

206 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6776 03:54

GSsghsrshshsshhjehwhjrhroshgoishgRSH wh9jowr 9wrh

What is it like in the universe where you are me?

207 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6776 14:51

I am very ashamed at my shitposts.

What's it like in the universe where Dungeons and Dragons duels are the most popular way of settling arguments?

208 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6776 16:11

Politics is infinitely more reasonable and quicker to resolve, however normal social encounters can be long and tedious.

What's it like in the universe where clouds are actually huge, malevolent telepathic entities?

209 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6776 18:54

>>208 You tell me... you're in it.

>>210 What's it like in the universe where all world leaders are unwittingly controlled by an all-powerful computer program?

210 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6776 22:45

>>209 Hackers are the people who tell the politicians what to do.

>>211 What is it like in the universe where everybody is a cosplayer?

211 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6777 18:16

>>210, it's not as much fun as you'd expect. Two words: Man Faye

>>212, what's it like in the universe where since the 1980s computer keyboards have included an interrobang ("‽") key?

212 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6778 08:58

We live in an dystopion society where people get pulled of the street and are forced to rat out on their dearest friends by writing explicit details about them for the government. They are never quite sure if their overlords are satisfied with their essays and always finish them with "THE END‽", opting for a character that is the perfect mix of an exclamation and question mark.

Let me tell you, the overlords are never satisfied. And the interrogations always end with a bang.

What's it like in the universe where nobody can see other people but still has to manage to live with together them?

213 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6778 22:50

We're all blind. I'm typing this in Braille.

>>214, what's it like in the universe where Touhou characters don't wear those ridiculous hats?

214 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6778 23:03

We all wear hats and make fun of the hatlessness of Touhou characters.

What's it like in the universe where Leonardo da Vinci's flying machine was made to work in his own time?

215 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6779 17:38

>>214 Air traffic is horrible. Thousands of helicopters and very little ground control to keep things in order.

>>216 What is it like in the universe where the Commodore Amiga was more successful than Windows, Apple, and other formats?

216 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6779 18:19

Software piracy never became a big problem. Bereft of a reason for large downloads to become desirable, there was never a market for fast internet connections either, outside the confines of large companies and universities. The average household still uses a 56k modem to go online. On the plus side, websites with ridiculously bloated flash animations and mystery meat navigation don't exist, as few users have the patience to wait fifteen minutes until a page becomes readable.

What's it like in the universe where there are no tectonic plates?

217 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6779 19:31

Very few mountains exist. Looking at a map of the world, I realize the contents are vastly different. On the plus side, though, there are no earthquakes.

What's it like in the universe where MIDI is still a widely-used music format?

218 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6779 19:36

Music is worse.

What is the universe like where you have 12 children?

219 Name: !ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6779 23:17

It is hard for my family to make ends meet. Other people read about us in morning newspapers and carry on with their lives.

What is it like in the university where computers still had three-line text displays

220 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6780 00:16

This is a thread for sending people to alternate universes, not alternate universities. I should also remind you that in this particular universe we tend to end questions with question marks.

What's it like in the universe where DQN has forced anonymity?

221 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6780 01:57

>>220 It's better, and I'm generally happier in life than I was in your universe

>>222 What's it like in the universe where cigarettes are good for you?

222 Name: !ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6780 10:11

EMUs still resembled steam trains a lot.

What is it like in the universe where everyone used computers only late at night?

223 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6780 11:28

Why are you talking to yourself, Espeon?

What's it like in the universe where all text (besides handwriting) is written in Comic Sans?

224 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6780 17:32

Eric Gill committed suicide moments after seeing his first page of newsprint.

What's it like in the universe where Japan conquered the British Empire in the early 1880s?

225 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6780 18:21

>>224 Japanese being spoken in a brittish accent is the most annoying thing ever!

What is it like in the universe where the Christian Dark ages never happened?

226 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6780 19:21

Islam dominates the world. Have you been to your mosque today, citizen?

What's it like in the world where Hitler became a renowned painter instead of a dictator?

227 Name: !ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6780 22:43

Eugenics is thriving and the mankind grows stronger every day

What is it like in the universe where people like >>223 can admit and forgive others' mistakes and act like nothing has happened.

228 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6780 22:54

They still choose not to, just like you still choose to not use question marks.

What's it like in the universe where the Elitist Superstructure of DQN is an actual physical place?

229 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6780 23:14

>>228 It's full of jerks!

>>230 What's it like in the universe where the only form of adhesive is PVA? No pritt sticks or superglues or blu-tac etc.

230 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6780 23:31

Everything is falling to pieces!

What's it like in the universe where Richard Dawkins is pope?

231 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6781 16:24

Almost all Catholics convert to Protestantism.

What's it like in the universe where alcohol, tobacco and all illegal recreational drugs don't exist?

232 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6781 16:50

Governments are forced to introduce a high tax on breathable air in order to keep the national debt under control. On the other hand, nationalized health care is affordable almost everywhere.

What's it like in the universe where humans and sharks share a common language and culture?

233 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6781 16:55

There are a lot more lawyers.

What's it like in the world where America has better Internet infrastructure than Japan?

234 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6791 14:12

>>233 American pr0n becomes more perverted than Japanese pr0n, and Japanese people admire buy more pr0n from the USA.

>>235 What is it like in the universe where there are no perverts?

235 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6791 14:57

Every sexual kink is completely socially acceptable, thus there is no concept of perversion. For visitors from your universe, it's deeply unsatisfying.

What's it like in the universe where the dominant religion is based on empirical science?

236 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6791 22:59

By St. Albert's Holy Mustache, what a glorious world this is! Now that the Dyson Sphere is finished and we have plenty of energy, they're going to try to make matter transmission even cheaper!

How is the universe where people have the power of flight?

237 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6792 00:53

The wonders of undersea travel hold a great fascination to us.

What about the universe where everyone has powers of telepathy?

238 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6792 01:23

239 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6792 02:54

Once we found that out, the average penis size increased substantially.

How is it in the universe where people enjoy squash at the theater instead of popcorn?

240 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6792 10:57

You get free catheters with your 3D glasses at the entrance. Otherwise it's pretty much the same.

What's it like in the universe where school uniforms are mandatory in all educational institutions up to PhD level?

241 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6792 14:19

>>240 The Japanese have a word for the fetish for middle-aged "Christmas Cakes" in grad school uniform sailor suits.

What's it like in the universe where diet soda tastes exactly like soda with real sugar in it?

242 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6792 17:19

All ants have starved to death, triggering a mass extinction event.

What's it like in the universe where magnetism does not exist?

243 Name: grey!C.MxxuCiTo : 1993-09-6792 19:58

>>242 The guy who tried to invent compass was regarded as an idiot and thrown out of the scientific community.
What's it like in the universe where all Sciences are mainstream and sports, tabloids and celebrity gossip are considered "nerdy"?

244 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6794 10:18

They're actually considered more "depraved", as "nerdy" carries intellectual connotations. In any case, the entertainment industry as a whole is akin to pornography, and we do not speak about such things in public.

What's it like in the universe where Jews have finally taken over the world?

245 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6794 12:45

Palestine has been eradicated and erased from the history books. Also, say goodbye to your foreskin.

What's it like in the universe where the viking colonization in the Americas was successful and spread widely before the rest of Europe got there?

246 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6794 13:33

The only noticeable difference is that a fast food chain called McDonar's serves ljutefjisk sandwiches.

What's it like in the universe where it's the Argentines and Russians who produce all the most bizarre pr0n instead of the Germans and Japanese?

247 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6794 14:00

>>246 The movie which featured the song "Don't Cry For Me, Argentina" will traumatize you for life, and the most famous porn star in the world looks like a combination of Ron Jeremy and Joseph Stalin.

248 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6794 14:01

>>248 What is it like in the universe where China and Japan switched places?

249 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6795 20:42

I'm going to assume you meant their populations rather than respective geographies.

Chinese industry is heavily impeded by recurring earthquakes along the north-eastern coast, forcing manufacturers to relocate further south. Given such a small area and disadvantageous location, however, it is reticent to maintain commercial operations and shifts swiftly to military fortification. Political and racial turmoil between Japanese and North Koreans causes heavy militarisation of the former southern Chinese border. Much of Europe comes to Japan's aid in attempting to pacify the embittered, enraged North. Russia remains outwardly indifferent while secretly entertaining the notion of Chinese/North Korean alliance, given promises of an increased nuclear arsenal, technological competence, and its strategic location above the entirety of Eurasia. North Korea, in a bid for land, resources and substantial manpower, abolishes the DMZ and easily convinces the South to become part of the DPRK. Parts of the northernmost Southern Pacific are conquered jointly by China and Korea to establish a stronger commercial industry and some weapons production.

It's all fucked up.

What's it like in the universe where we've dangerously intruded upon a massive underground civilisation spanning half of Mars?

250 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6797 22:01

It wouldn't be so bad if they'd just quit sending dozens of their robotic landers to Earth, to get back at us.

What is it like in the universe where Therapsidæ never went extinct?

251 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6804 07:01

They taste like turkey, and are therefore extensively farmed as a cheap substitute.

What's it like in the universe where the only languages in existence are purely written, and speaking as a concept does not exist?

252 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6804 15:43

Someone invents speaking in a matter of seconds.

What's it like in the universe where the main animal pet to have are lions?

253 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6804 20:51

>>252 Pet food stores are much larger because lions eat far more food than any breed of dog.

>>244 What is it like in the universe where Batman and Gotham City are real?

254 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6805 23:51

SPOILER: Batman dies.

What is it like in the universe where laser pointers were deadly?

255 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6806 00:36

They're illegal to own, but well sought after on the black market since compared to guns, they're a lot quieter and leave less evidence.

What's it like in the universe where computer monitors still show only 256 colors?

256 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6806 03:06

All manner of graphical tomfoolery never had the chance to arise from the powerhouses of modern video cards. As a result, information is still presented with the least possible distraction and computer games have become increasing complex puzzles which offer far more challenge than their present counterparts. I suppose we're better off as a society for it.

What's it like in the universe where Elizabethan values still hold true?

257 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6826 08:47

The progress of modern medicine has ground to a hault before truly starting, and thus the vast majority of people still rely on apothecaries for remedies to ailments. Also, everyone wears really scratchy, starched-up clothes and it's terribly uncomfortable.

What's it like in the universe where a handful of gifted people have the ability to bring fictional characters in and out of reality?

258 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6826 09:35

Some wise guy had the idea to summon fictional characters with the same ability. You can guess how well that went...

What's it like in the universe where crested ibis is a highly sought after dish?

259 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6826 18:01

There is an anime of Abe Kazushige's novel Nipponia Nippon.

What is it like in the universe where Nikola Tesla was never born?

260 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6826 19:02

Red Alert 2 has more lasers.

What's it like in the universe where all foods taste like chicken?

261 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6826 21:48

Life didn't evolve a sense of taste because it offered no evolutionary advantage.

What's it like in the world where people smell with their toes?

262 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6826 21:51

>>261 Everyone has a runny nose.

>>263 What's it like in the universe where marriage is the only important thing in human life, and once you get married you die?

263 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6827 06:20

The divorce rate is zero, as is the birth rate. Humans are slowly going extinct.

What's it like in the universe where there are no magnetic forces?

264 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6827 09:14

Nothing is happening. Pretty boring.

What is the entertainment industry like in the universe where Touhou has been bought by Microsoft and it has become the most popular video game franchise?

265 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6827 11:04

The industry is now filled with F2P/DLC games which suffer from misconceptions about various religions. Microsoft allows you to create and customize your own youkai avatar via Games Marketplace.
On the bright side, Black & White title is resurrected.

What would the world be like if there were no Jews? Please, take into consideration an ancient history as well.

266 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6827 13:39

Mithrahism is the most popular religion in Europe, and nazis blamed the Greek for World War I.

What is it like in a world, where computer technology came to halt in the mid-90s?

267 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6827 17:13

>>266 Many people are haunted by the sound of dial-up modem sounds, they are unable to stop the sound from constantly replaying in their minds.

>>268 What is it like in the world where all computers operate at 100 terahertz or more, have 4 TB or more of ram, and files download at 100 TB per minute or faster?

268 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6827 18:45

People still complain about loading times, because the primary result of plugging a that powerful computer straight into the human nervous system is an infinitely short attention span.

What's it like in the universe where all planets are lenticular rather than spheroid?

269 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6828 01:54

>>268 Nobody lives on the concave side, because when the concave side faces the sun, it focuses the energy, making it hot as hell.

>>270 What is it like in the alternative universe where no religions believe in the existence of Hell?

270 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6829 00:03

There's no heaven, either, and that's because the concepts of "good" and "evil" are unknown to us. We have a moral system that works on axes of efficiency and pleasure and it seems to work out quite well. Children are seen, and not heard. Trolling is an offense punishable by death. I'm a heroin tester and prostitute inspector. I am living in your dreams.

What's the universe like in the universe where all of the DQNs live together? Tell us a fun story.

271 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6848 16:49

>>270 the universe is extremely nerdy. Jocks are simply nerds with larger muscles.

>>272 What is it like in the universe where Kirby games arrive during the height of a console's popularity, not in its declining years? Sort of like having the NES Kirby game in 1989 or the SNES Kirby in 1993?

272 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6865 11:43

The Kirby games gained popularity at an astronomical rate. Within a week of the first release, it was the most popular game on the market. Within two months, at least 40% of every demographic/age group was playing it. Nine months later Kirby was elected president of the United States. Several disorganised cults sprang up in His honour, followed by an organised religion known as Kirbyism. Now, in the year 2012, every single member of the human race worships Kirby and spends at least two hours per day playing Kirby games. Life is good.

What's it like in the universe where computers and robots are given the same basic rights as humans?

273 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6865 11:53

Programmers who create infinite loops are given long prison sentences without the possibility of bail. Also, cars take a lot longer to build because of the robot unions mandating that working hours and break times for robots be just as long as for humans.

What's it like in the universe where all branches of government in every human nation have been left in the hands of AIs and robots controlled by said AIs for the past twenty years?

274 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6865 13:53

On the one hand, we're a lot more efficient now that we don't occupy ourselves with a political circus of liars and charlatans jockeying for votes. On the other hand, the AIs regard us as resources to be used and managed just like all the rest, farming us in eugenic breeding programs, and if two of them go to war over resources/territory, you might end up being sent on a real-life Zerg rush. Draft dodging? Expect some robotic enforcers to show up at your door.

What's it like in the world where humankind has uploaded its consciousness into robotic bodies, leaving the frailties of flesh behind?

275 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6866 11:21

Turns out that being inside a robotic body severely hampers creativity, so the new society of immortal robots just sits there, doing regular maintenance on their bodies but basically stagnating.

What's it like in the universe where Japan was invaded and large parts occupied by Chinese communists during World War II, and the atomic bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki was carried out by Japan's American allies in order to destroy the most fortified Chinese bases on Japanese soil?

276 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6866 14:18

>>275 The USSR and North Korea take all the atomic bombs they have and destroy major cities in the USA.

>>277 What is it like in the universe where it is only possible to use nuclear energy for peaceful purposes?

277 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6866 14:32

As soon as the first nuclear power plants were developed, scientists started working on a way to launch them into the air and throw them at other countries.

What's it like in the universe where Thorium is three times more abundant on Earth than Uranium?

278 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6866 15:21

Surprisingly similar to this universe (in which it is four times more abundant). Governments still wouldn't dream of using it; it can't even be used for making nukes you know!

What's it like in the universe where everybody owns a gun?

279 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6866 17:38

Suicide rates are very high almost everywhere, and police officers can hardly move for all the armor they have to wear even just on routine patrols.

What's it like in the universe where perpetual motion engines not only work, but are also commonplace in every industrial nation?

280 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6866 18:29

Most parts of the Earth were destroyed decades ago when world leaders launched powerful bombs that ran on little wooden treadmills and a few centilitres of water. Now only licensed thermodynamicists are allowed the knowledge of how to build them. Unfortunately, thanks to the ease of generating unlimited electricity, food, and water, thermodynamicist is the only occupation left.

What's it like in the universe where (GNU/)Linux is the most popular operating system?

281 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6866 19:21

There are five distributions for every computer user on the planet, all steadily growing towards mutual incompatibility. Companies have given up trying to release "Linux versions" of their software, and instead specialize on making software for maybe a dozen different distributions. It's like the old DOS/Mac OS divide times a couple billion.

What's it like in the universe where Neo-Confucianism has been adopted as the dominant ideology all over the world?

282 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6888 18:45

>>281 Conformism is an even bigger problem.

>>283 What is it like in the universe where Earth is in the center and all of space revolves around it?

283 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6889 14:39

Time has ceased to exist, intelligent life forms on this planet are microscopic and have no need for anything other than The Internet which is a series of tubes strong out across the galaxy.

What's it like in the universe where no one ever immigrated to North America?

284 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6890 11:34

North America has a pristine ecosystem, unspoiled by even Homo erectus immigration. Mexicans and Russians have occasionally mounted expeditions there, but the many large predators kept them away. Europe is mostly torn apart by religious warfare, although France has become something of a global refuge for atheists. Australian aborigines number less than four hundred, and continue to be threatened by their British conquerors if they refuse to convert to Anglicanism.

What's it like in the universe where the recent drive by fundamentalist Christian Conservatives to boycott Facebook and Google has led to the creation of a wholly separate Conservative Internet, running on its own root nodes, data centers and cabling, with Conservatives refusing to connect to anything on the old Internet anymore?

285 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6895 01:01

>>284 The Conservative Internet means as much to the regular internet what Christian Rock bands mean to to music scene. This bothers investors on the Conservative Internet, so they always try new ways to limit the regular internet.

>>286 What is like in the parallel universe where religion is allowed to exist, but extremism does not exist?

286 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6897 07:52

People find other reasons for terrorism, for instance preventing overpopulation.

What's it like in the universe where there is a religious cult based on tanasinn?

287 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6897 08:54

>>286 Ever since the bombs dropped, it's been pretty similar to the setting of Brian Aldiss's 1969 novel _Barefoot in the Head_. For ∵x∵∴ple, t∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴r∵∴gi∵∴s∵∴∵∴p∵l∵ci∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴pr∵ven∴∵∴tanasinn∵∴s∵pp∴rt∵∴s∵fr∴∵∴∵∴
∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴/ ̄∵∴∵∴∵∴∴∴∵ヽ
∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴| ● |∴∵∴∵∴∵∵∵∴ヽ
∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴ _/ ∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴ヽ
∵∴∵/ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄   ,-‐-、 ∴ / ̄∴∵∵∴∵)
∵∴/  \     /   ヽ∴| ● |∴∵∵∴ノ
∵/   \ \    l    |   _/∴∵∴ ノ   
/   \ \     ゝ___,.ノ  |∴∵∴∵∴∵丿
      \     /      |∴∵∴∵∴∵ノ
           /       |∴∵∴∵∴丿
     \   /     \   |∴∵∴∵∴ノ
      \/     \ \ |∴∵∴∵ノ
     \ \    \ \  |∴∵∴ノ
     \\ \    \  /∴∵ノ

>>288 Wh∵∴'s it l∵∴e in the ∵∴iv∵∴e w∵∴re human rationality is the highest ideal for all civilizations on Earth, and religious fanatics and mystics have been exiled to a newly-founded colony on an exoplanet?

288 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7028 23:42

>>287 People fight each other to prove that their logic is the highest form of logic.

>>289 What is it like in the parallel universe when porn is never censored?

289 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7029 00:04

Bad porn artists make less money because they can't draw penises.

What's it like in a universe where DQN is more popular than facebook?

290 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7029 01:15

Everyone runs around shouting "MITTENS!" and posts low quality AA character fan art to their (now niche) Facebook pages.

What's it like in the universe where there are no taboos?

291 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7029 02:02

>>290 Everything is pretty vanilla by your universe's standards, since the thrill of doing something taboo does not exist here.

>>292 What's it like in the universe where DQN and the SAoVQ are located on the same website?

292 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7043 03:21

>>291 It isn't that much different because there are so many vippers than accidentally enter DQN and there are too many DQNs that accidentally enter SAoVQ.

>>293 What is it like in the universe where everyone in the world is of Asian descent?

293 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7043 13:19

>>292 Mathematics is a useless degree and arts and humanities majors male 90k

>>294 What's it like in a universe where western language comes from C rather than Latin?

294 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7043 14:01

$ cat >>293.c
#include <quantum/universes.h>
#include <self/thought.h>
#include <comms.h>
int main (void) {
universe_t *this = get_universe (null);
say (think (DESCRIBE, universe_inspect (this), null);
return 0;
$ cat >>295.c
#include <quantum/universes.h>
#include <bbs/kareha.h>
#include <self/thought.h>
#include <comms/question.h>
int main (void) {
entity_t *next_san = post_ref (null, 295);
ask (next_san, think (QUESTION,
universe_inspect (get_universe (next_san)),
return 0;

295 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7045 00:26

>>294 The army core of engineers is sent in to extract washed out wales in the ocean.

>>296 What's it like in a universe where Kodomo no Jikan is on the best seller list worldwide?

296 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7048 00:14

>>296 Pedophilia still abhorred, KnJ an exception for its artistic merit.

>>267 What's it like in a world where XHTML2 beat out HTML5?

297 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7049 16:51

>>296 It is still infested with websites that look like Geocites circa 1996.

>>298 What is it like in the parallel universe where there are no parallel universes?

298 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7051 02:53

>>297 The concept of parallel universes is a very popular science fiction topic.

>>299 What's it like in the universe where the human ear is considered the universal pinnacle of beauty?

299 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7062 04:57

>>298 Ear fucking fetish is common.

>>300 what is like like in the parallel universe where uniforms don't exist?

300 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7062 22:26

>>299 Japanese school girls are required to go to school naked!

>>301 What's it like in the universe where the only programming language is Brainfuck?

301 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7063 17:38

>>300 Programming is deemed financially indefeasible. Resources are shifted to computational dolphin training. Dolphin trainers are paid programmers salaries and the googleplex is an underwater compound in San Francisco bay.

>>302 What's it like in a world where computers are interfaced using usb mittens and hdmi earmuffs.

302 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7064 01:24

>>301 USB mittens are like NES powergloves making simple computer tasks complex. If it wasn't for commands from HDMI earmuffs, computing would be almost impossible

>>303 What is it like in the parallel universe where Pinyin is the only form of written language.

303 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7192 18:01

>>302 Getting the news is a pain because newspaper printing presses take 3 months to publish a new paper.

>>304 What is it like in the parallel universe where Japan never existed?

304 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7192 18:13

>>303 A lot less eastern involvement in WW2, CKS was able to focus 100% of his efforts on exterminating Mao, Taiwan and China are a unified country, and the Korean war never happened so South Korea and Best Korea are still a unified country.

>>305 What's it like in a universe where there are two Japans?

305 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7193 16:43

>>304 The USA lost WWII in that universe because of the combined industrial and military strength, so everybody in the USA does what Japan tells them to do. The movie business is completely different, featuring lots and anime, super sentai, and kaiju. Also, softcore porn doesn't exist, only extremely perverted or animated porn exists.

However, due to the low birth rate, most people of Japan and the USA face extinction in the year 2060.

306 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7193 21:35

It's cold and empty in that non-existent universe.

>>307, what's it like in a universe where life formed and developed on Mercury instead of Earth?

307 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7195 03:14

>>306 Everybody breathes in sulfur dioxide and exhales pure oxygen.

>>306 What is it like in the parallel universe where all humans have 3 eyes?

308 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7195 08:26

We can see in four dimensions perfectly well.

What's it like in the fifth dimension?

309 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7195 22:13

(NB: humans with three eyes would struggle to process visual data and wouldn't probably have intellectual capacity required to invent computers or the Internet)

It's quite boring actually. Almost all entertainment is two- and three-dimensional anyway.

Did you know that your eyes see the world upside down, but your brain learned to adjust for this when you were flailing your arms around and missing toys all the time in a humiliating and hilarious way as a baby? Doesn't it make you want to wear a pair of reversing glasses? (Which is rather futile, because your brain would adapt in a course of a week)

310 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7195 23:12

>>309 People figure out how to stay withing the rules of the thread.

>>311 What is it like in the parallel universe where everybody has a perfect understanding of geography?

311 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7196 17:06

(NB: >>309 was so excited to share his knowledge that he mistook this thread for "solve the question" thread)

The world is policed by Great Britain.

What is it like in a world where people use the undecimal (base-11) system?

312 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7196 17:09

People had 11 fingers

What's it like in the parallel universe where the earth is shaped like a Christmas tree?

313 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7197 02:30

>>312 The part of the tree you live in determines the gravity. That means you have a huge choice in how much gravity you have!

>>314 What is it like in the parallel universe where all comic book characters have equal fame?

314 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7206 01:19

>>313 Great comic book characters such as "Corn Cobb Man" get too much attention.

>>315 What is it like in the parallel universe where the laws of physics are the same as the physics in that "Big rigs over the road racing" PC game?

315 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7211 01:42

>>314 People joke about the physics of Gran Turismo games.

>>316 What is it like in the parallel universe where everyone has both a penis and a vagina?

316 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7211 15:02

People are generally friendlier to each other because a need for intimacy and intercourse is lesser.

What is it like in the parallel universe where Hitler and the Nazis moved to Arctic/Antarctic, and by this moment they built huge and prosperous bases under the ice?

317 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7211 15:47

A few generations after Hitler and all his right-hand-men died off, the anti-semetic aspects of nazism were abandoned and only the desire to rebuild Germany into a great and prosperous land of peace remained. However, Germany had, by this time, abandoned the bases, so they declared independence. The Arctic base actually eventually was annexed by Canada due to some difficulties in surviving on its own and is now just a research facility. The Antarctic base, however, became the capitol city of the National Socialist Republic of New Germany, which was a major player in the Cold War but collapsed in the early 80's. It has since become the Democratic Republic of Antarctica, a tentative ally of the United States and a major importer of its popular culture.

What's it like in the universe where Rl'yeh rose from the sea and it turned out that the Elder Gods were actually pretty chill dudes?

318 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7211 16:22

Mahiro can get with Nyaruko without fear, bitter nerds riot and Xebec is firebombed. In response the studio puts the characters of all their anime through traumatic experiences and makes subtle jabs at otaku.

Whats it like in a world where people throw susbstandard babies into pits a la 300

319 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7211 16:38

Every pit looks and smells terrible. But everyone is strong, beautiful and happy. The planet is not overpopulated, and there is not a single social, environmental nor humanitarian problem in the world. As long as vile baby-eating creatures from those pits are well fed...

What's it like in a world populated by boffins?

320 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7213 00:50

It's pretty normal, except people with unfulfilling jobs are more unhappy about it than usual. Oh, and hoverboards are a thing, but nobody is sporty enough to use them properly.

What's it like in the world where age is inversely proportional to intelligence?

321 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7213 03:15

>>320 It is much like or world, except all people get Alzheimer's disease, and it happens at an earlier age.

>>322 What is it like in the alternative universe where once people reach the age of 12, they stop again, but still typically die in the 70s?

322 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7213 04:02

>>321 Widespread fear of cooties keeps people from having children, and boys and girls really don't like each other much anyway, so the human race is rapidly dying out.

>>323 What is it like in the alternative universe where people have four thumbs and one finger per hand?

323 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7213 13:04

>>322 People can more accurately show their rating of movies. A scale of 0-8 is much better than a scale of 0-2

>>234 What is it like in the parallel universe where every sentence is a funny joke?

324 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7213 16:24

>>323 HAHAHAHA. Heh heh. Oh man...

>>325 What's it like in the universe where the existence of an afterlife has been proved?

325 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7213 17:49

Nobody really has any clue how to make sure they get there. So far, the only confirmed residents of the afterlife we found we Genghis Khan, John F. Kennedy, Adolf Hitler, Rosa Parks, and three guys who died back in prehistory when they were eaten by a swarm of very hungry birds.

What's it like in the universe where the speed of the human body matches the speed of the human mind?

326 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7219 21:33

People crash at the speeds exceeding 300 km/h and die. The worst are head-on collisions with delta-v of over 600 km/h. However, surviving humans evolutionary adapted to it, so their bodies are much sturdier, and vestibular system is much better developed.

What's it like in the parallel universe where everyone is sugoooi and suki dayo, and all animals are kawaiiiii?

327 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7225 16:53

>>326 Most men a Yaoi

>>328 What is it like in the parallel universe where everyone is a Swede?

328 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7225 18:47

>>327 Åh, det är jätte lustig!

>>329 What's it like in the universe where disco never died?

329 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7225 19:17

>>328 I used to work at a disco ball factory for 40 years and retired recently. I earned plenty of money because people can't seem to have enough disco balls.

>>330 What is it like in the universe where the 1980s lived on for a few more decades?

330 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7225 19:54

>>329 Usenet isn't full of idiots yet.

>>331 What's it like in the universe where anime is popular in the Western world?

331 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7225 23:03

>>330 Japan is full of tourists all year round, and most people who go there speak a little bit of the language to get by. Westerners go to the Tokyo tower with as much enthusiasm as Japanese people who go to Disneyworld Orlando.

Unfortunately, the whole world is also infested with annoying fangirls and fanboys. Fanboys drive itasha cars like Initial D wannabes and Fangirls go to gay bars where Russians and Germans have gay sex.

>>332 What is it like where Confucius never existed?

332 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7295 23:47

>>331 Chinese people quote Mao even more often

>>333 What is it linke in the parallel universe where all toilets flush with oil instead of water?

333 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7295 23:54

Some people from the opposition think it's a stupid idea and we vote for the anti toilet oil party. They're a right-center party.

What is it like in the parallel universe where western forums never stood a chance again VIP QUALITY, BBS and imageboards?

334 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7297 00:20

>>333 All computers ship with mona font and everybody knows how to make their owm mona.

>>335 What is it like in the parallel universe where Fluttershy says "yay" at 100 decibels?

335 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7297 01:40

I don't know

What's it like in a universe where goldfish can live in bottled of ice water for over two years and ice never melts if it's stored in dark conditions?

336 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7297 12:39

Al Gore saved the world, and nobody died ever after.

What's it like in the parallel universe where every adult is issued a gun and a permit to kill one (and only one) person in their lifetime?

337 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7297 14:58

There is one very lonely person left.

What is it like in a parallel universe where we all love you very very much and want you to wake up from this fantasy.

338 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7298 04:18


I don't know what you're talking about. Everything is fine, even though it sometimes doesn't make sense. Everything is fine.


Tell me about the world in which the second theory of thermodynamics may be broken.

339 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7298 09:24

According to Landau, the second law of thermodynamics is not applicable to the universe itself. But here on Earth, I'm about to marry a beautiful steam-powered lady automaton.

What's it like in a parallel universe where 340 is considered EVIIIL because of some ridiculous religious text that everyone takes seriously?

340 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7298 23:01

>>339 Iron Maiden's song about 340 is their greatest song in that universe.

>>341 What is it like in the parallel universe where the word "Penisdump" is common?

341 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7299 17:14

Nobody holds a very high opinion of pens.

How are things in the parallel universe where sticks and stones cannot break bones, but words can really hurt you?

342 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7299 17:34

Rap battles are the preferred method of dueling to the death.

What's it like in the parallel universe where J.R.R. Tolkien wrote science fiction instead of fantasy?

343 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7306 00:25

Ugh, Peter Jackson really skimped on the CGI in the part where Samwise and F.R.O.D.O. are inside the reactor of Station Doom. And don't even get me started on the whole "Aragorn and Hiryu are the same person" thing.

What's it like in the universe where ice is more dense than water?

344 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7306 00:32

( ゚ ヮ゚) Drinking a glass of liquid with ice in it isn't annoying anymore since the ice doesn't float up to your lips and block the liquid!

What's it like in the universe where the average bug is the size of a small dog?

345 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7306 02:38

>>344 Getting a bee sting is instant death

>>346 What is it like in the parallel universe where everybody is high on drugs, and drugs bring everyone back to average?

346 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7306 03:47

>>345 I had to come back to this universe to answer, as they're all still up in the trees, high as kites.

>>347 What's it like in the parallel universe where Frank Zappa is still alive and kickin'?

347 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7306 04:42

As his albums got shittier and shittier over the years, he'd just be seen as a washed up old hack only relevant because of his former glory.

What's it like in the intersecting universe?

348 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7316 00:10

The world's religions mostly worship parallel lines.

What's it like in the universe where 4-ch is as big as facebook?

349 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7316 00:17

There's only 10 people left on earth. 4 of them don't have computers.

What's it like in the universe where Chevrolet builds high quality supercars?

350 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7316 00:48

I would have never made fun of my friend for his choice to get a Cruze

What's it like in the universe where closets lead to a separate monster universe?

351 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7415 21:30

>>350 People lose their fear of monsters.

>>352 What is it like in the parallel universe where M.C.Hammer was replaced with M.C.Crowbar

352 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7416 01:13

Instead of "Hammer Time" jokes when players of fantasy games break out the war hammer, Half-Life players make "Crowbar Time" jokes.

353 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7416 01:15

derp. I forgot the question.

What's it like in the parallel universe where YouTube Poop runs on cable TV?

354 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7416 01:45

Popular schoolkids run around shouting PINGAS, the average workplace water cooler conversation consists of "Hey did you see the PINGAS last night?", awards are given for PINGAS, and laugh-track sitcoms have only a small cult following on the internet.

What's it like in the parallel universe where sex is not pleasurable and people reproduce artificially?

355 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7416 02:26

The lack of obsession with sex means that people devote their energies to other pursuits and are overall more productive, and the lack of surprise unwanted children means that they're on the whole wealthier and more well-adjusted.

What's it like in the parallel universe where men die after ejaculating?

356 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7416 05:45

Well, according to Wikipedia, one sperm sample on average gives rise to 0.1–0.6 children, so at that rate the human race would just die out before it even began. But for the sake of this thought experiment, let's assume humanity has found another way to procreate.

The most wealthy countries simply give all males surgery to prevent ejaculating at birth. In other countries men are taught to practice orgasm denial at a young age. And in some places, fundamentalists build a religion that completely prohibits horniness and porn. Real male sperm is a very rare commodity found only on the black market. Men are often considered the "weaker" sex.

What's it like in the parallel universe where humans must drink sperm every day to survive?

357 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7416 16:01

>>356 The world's most expensive bank robbery happened at a sperm bank.

>>358 What is it like in the parallel universe where all message boards have a minimum of 100,000GET?

358 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7419 18:56

>>357 The mythical 2GET is sought after but never acheived. 100,002GET just isn't the same.

>>359 What's it like in the parallel universe where the existance of parellel universes, such as this one, have been proven beyond all doubt to be purely fantastical conjecture.

359 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7480 20:11

Oh, man, I just had the weirdest dream. Some guy named "Mister 358" was asking me questions, but they, like, didn't make sense. The questions were in English, but they were just... unparseable somehow, y'know?

Publicly describing all-encompassingly linguistic nounlessly communicating?

360 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7542 17:06

It's ok, I guess.

What's it like in the parallel universe where all forms of payment are made using cryptocurrencies?

361 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7543 07:09

>>360 A percentage of the stuff bought with cryptocurrency is taken as tax, rather than the taxation system in your universe. In both our universes there are dirty tricks that help certain people pay less in tax than they should.

>>362 What is it like in the parallel universe where Ron Paul won one presidential election?

362 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7543 14:01

>>361 Everyone complains about Ron Paul instead of whoever he was running against. Nothing else is different.

>>363 What's it like in a parallel universe where Renge Miyauchi is the dictator of America?

363 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7543 17:19

>>362 There's an underground movement centered around a book called The Grasshopper Lies Heavy, but it's not very strong because they don't mind.

>>364 What's it like in the parallel universe where the number after 3 is written '9', and the number after 8 is written '4'?

364 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7543 17:47

>>363 dumb YouTubers post "3spooky10me" instead of "3spooky5me" on creepypasta narration videos.

>>365 what's it like in the parallel universe where neanderthals survived instead of homo sapiens?

365 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7544 01:39

>>364 due to larger crainial capacity, Homo neanderthalensis are more advanced than us. As such, eternal september started in 1992.

>>366 what's it like in the parallel universe where I had a better idea for an parallel universe?

366 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7544 02:07

>>365 We are non-parallel and nonpareil.

>>367 What's it like in the universe where stings from bees, wasps and hornets are different types of good power-ups?

367 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7544 06:45

>>366 Beehives are a resource only the rich can afford, giving powers equal to those of superheros. They throw expensive hive-beating parties as a sign of status. Hornets are the common man power-up, the kind of thing you get after a long day of work. At most you'll be an Aquaman. Wasps are the poor people power up, they give bullshit powers like the power to turn wine into water.

>>368 What's it like in the universe where presidential candidates are required to be philosophy majors?

368 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7544 13:12

They're just as full of bullshit, just now it's bullshit about things like do we actually exist, and what does all this "really MEAN". Maybe we shoulda taught them something useful instead of head games.

What's it like in the universe where presidential candidates are required to be economics majors?

369 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7544 13:56

>>368 You have some who majored in Keynesian economics and some who majored in Austrian economics. It doesn't help because some switch sides whenever they feel like it.

>>370 What is it like in the parallel universe where the only people who borrow money for college are there for STEM or medical fields?

370 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7578 04:55

Thousands of brilliant thinkers and artists never go to the college because they can't afford it. The lack of diversity and creativity in society leads to stagnation and there is virtually no progress, especially as scientists in debt viciously backstab each other for research grants. The gap between the rich and poor grows even wider. All the artists decide to make their own society somewhere else, but that fails too because they have no scientists to support them.

What's it like in the universe where the logical statement "If A is C and B is C, then A is B" is true? (e.g. "All cats die. Socrates died. Therefore Socrates is a cat.")

371 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7578 08:04

Law and philosophy students graduate after six months; in general, more things are true for some reason and it's harder to have arguments with people. I'm also posting from a box full of paperclips and elastic bands held together by cheese, since computation as you know it is pure fantasy here.

What's it like in the parallel universe where the Allied countries didn't occupy Japan for the six years immediately following WWII?

372 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7605 21:08

Well, that particular timeline diverged when the American atomic bomb project failed. So without a superweapon to end the war, the Japanese never officially surrendereed, though eventually their government and society collapsed. The Americans, and eventually the British and Russians, just kept mass-firebombing Japanese cities for years after 1945. They were running out of targets and bombing rural small villages by 1948 or so. Over 80% of Japan's civilian population died.

In 1952 the USSR pulled its occupying armies from what would have become North Korea for an invasion of Japan which experienced only modest resistance. They annexed the islands, and over the next generation tried to recreate Japanese society in their own image.

The Japanese Soviet Socialist Republic declared independence after the USSR collapsed in 1991, and is now this world's version of North Korea--isolated, backwards, run by a paranoid and ruthless personality-cult dictatorship whose official ideology is "Autarukiimarukusu shugi," or "Self-Sufficient Marxism." Japanese refugees give horrifying accounts of famine and brutality when they reach Korea or Taiwan.

There was never a North Korea in this timeline; the Korean peninsula is a unified, highly industrialized nation with its capital at Inchon, and every decade or so there is a fad for Korean cuisine in the English-speaking world.

What's it like in the parallel universe where time travelers from the 22nd Century accidentally ended up in 1969 and became advisors to the Nixon Administration?

373 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7606 08:05

Their first action was to attempt to speed humanity's exodus from the cradle of Earth. Given three weeks, they were able to deliver NASA a refresher course in historic rocketry that advanced the Apollo program by decades, and which resulted in a greatly advanced lunar landing that year, fulfilling a certain promise which had been laughably unkept in their home timeline. They could do no more, the necessary futher steps being known only as footnotes in high school physics textbooks of the future.

Unfortunately, the travelers' attempts at rectifying social problems were less well-received. A few wars were averted, but arguably worse actions were taken, and the unified world government remains (at least, so it appears) in the dim recesses of the mid 22nd Century. Even worse(?), Nixon severely underestimated how quickly the future would change and took took too many political risks for his legacy's sake - risks that his advisors were helpless to protect him from.

Furthermore, by giving space travel an unexpected kickstart, the travelers unintentionally removed parts of the vital learning process, stunting future growth. Combined with an altered political climate, technological focus quickly shifted into silicon and information systems. Instead of a 21st century with silver-finned rockets and a deadly Martian frontier, the travelers lived to see a world of interwoven fiberoptic cables and ubiquitous computer systems.

What's it like in a parallel universe where, in the mid 1970s, humanity decided that the peak of fashion had been reached, and that there was no point in ever changing it significantly?

374 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7606 08:17

Polyester leisure suits. Polyester leisure suits, EVERYWHERE.

What's it like in the parallel universe where early humans domesticated skunks, weasels, and ferrets, but never domesticated dogs or cats?

375 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7607 10:50

We are eagerly awaiting genetically engineered weasel-girls.

What's it like in the parallel universe where everyone is tone deaf?

376 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7607 19:12

>>375 Rhythm based videogames are really boring because you push only one button at certain intervals.

>>377 What is it like in the parallel universe where rabbits reproduce slowly, and elephants reproduce quickly?

377 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7609 02:00

I'd tell you, but I can't get to a computer through the vast mountains of elephant shit everywhere.

What's it like in the parallel universe where Benito Mussolini and Italy remained neutral in World War II then joined the Allies in 1944, when they were sure they'd be on the winning side?

378 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7609 02:03

Elephant shit. Elephant shit, everywhere.

What's it like in the parallel universe where Benito Mussolini and Italy remained neutral in World War II until 1944, then joined the Allies, once they were sure of being on the winning side?

379 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7609 02:33

sorry guise. the first time I clicked on "reply" I got an error message saying the verification captcha was incorrect. ;_;

380 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7629 09:10

>>377, >>378, in museums you can see propaganda posters with Mussolini's pop-eyed, unshaven face, with the caption "THIS MAN IS YOUR FRIEND, HE FIGHTS FOR FREEDOM," produced by the UK's Ministry of Propaganda. George Orwell is an unknown there, having committed suicide in 1945 after being forced to write that poster.

>>381, what's it like in the universe where 4chan's code works properly and problems such as that experienced by >>377/>>378/>>379 are avoided?

381 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7642 08:52

The main difference is that M♥♥t didn't pull the plug on the 4chan text boards.

>>382, what is it like in the parallel universe where, about half a million years ago, humans, because they use K-type reproductive strategies, strategies were displaced by lower primates and fast-breeding small shrew-like carnivores that used r-type reproductive strategies?

382 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7642 22:15

Super R-Type

What's it like in a world where all of Africa is full of big bugs?

383 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7643 14:54

Starvation in Africa isn't an issue there thanks to big bug based cuisine, so long as the bugs don't eat you first.

What's it like in the world where our genitals are on our faces and we eat via the crotch region?

384 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7643 15:46

Funny sloppy soup eat

What's it like in a world where everything is damp?

385 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7654 06:54

We need to clean things with wet cloths.

What's it like in the world where all the trains run on thyme (and other spices)?

386 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7665 20:06

>>385 Thailand and Mexico have the fastest trains

>>387 What is it like in the parallel universe where Bowser kidnaps Chun Li?

387 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7665 21:56

>>386 Bowser's got a lot of bruises, and Mario just does his plumbing job.

>>388 What's it like in the world where all roads are gravel?

388 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7789 04:35

The urbanisation is mindboggling. People live in huge skyscrapers that grow around large railroad hubs. They combine business, market and living districts. The majority of population is between the hammer and the anvil, that being railroad tycoons and farmers. Some people die without ever stepping outside.
Roads to these cities are mostly used by villagers who choose sturdy and easy to repair vehicles. They are filthy rich, nonetheless, without them big cities would descend into disorder and rule of the strongest within days.
Railroad is the fastest way of travelling, but an incredibly costly one - maintenance and greed taking their toll. There is a railroad lobby that assures monopoly by campaigning about the dangers of oxidane or thwarting development of flying machines behind the scenes. And inability to make even a single good landing strip isn't helping it to grow beyond small agricultural aviation.

What is it like in the universe where love blooms on a battlefield?

389 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7789 09:14

Adolf Hitler is considered the sexiest man in history, alongside Napoleon and Alexander of Macedon.

>>399 What is it like in the universe where shorts are called pants and pants are called longs?

390 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8125 20:35

>>391 While we're waiting for >>399 to arrive, please tell us, what's it like in the universe where .com isn't a top level domain?

391 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8126 00:24

>>390 Glorious .co.kr is greatest!

>>392 What is it like in the parallel universe where Touhou had its own anime back in 2006. What company animated it? how many seasons did it have? can I have some other statistics.

392 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8126 04:09

This THREAD must be interrupted right now. The greatest is and will always be .wpk.kp, the brilliant revolutionary gift from the Eternal General Secretary's unlimited wisdom‼

Gonzo did it. It flopped mid-season. It caused massive riots because fans wouldn't stand for such an impure fan-service-filled display of their favourite characters, and the general populace didn't understand it and wrote it off as some porn that took forever to get to the action. The chaos caused by this anime resulted in a few assaults, one murder, at least one arson and countless broken windows and overturned cars.

ZUN was accused of becoming a sell-out. He had to give a sincere apology and work extra hard on the next instalment in order to restore faith in him. This eagerly-awaited game still hasn't been released to this day. Rumours are that ZUN have been seen in bars all over Japan often in contradicting, physically impossible times. It's a mystery!

What is it like in the parallel universe where everyone speaks with unique kyara-gobi?

393 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8126 07:50

There are seven billion people in the world, so you'd think that it takes everyone hours to finish a single sentence, but since there are so many different syllables in commonly-spoken languages we can uniquely identify everyone in three syllables-degeso!

What's it like in a world where the people prefer hexagonal lcd displays to rectangular ones?

394 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8126 17:51

>>393 When someone uses a multiple monitor setup, it looks like a bee hive.

>>395 What is it like in the parallel universe where cute is not justice?

395 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8127 21:23

Batman has a very weak jawline.

What's it like in the universe where radio dramas never died?

396 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8128 08:56

Blind people have the time of their lives, nobody cares about the deaf anyway.
What's it like in the universe where torrents can travel through time?

397 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8132 21:28

>>396 you can get pictures of someone who is of legal age before they reach that age. However, terrible things happen when they torrent pictures of themselves. People who don't like what they see then decide to change what they do in the future. Each change results in previous files getting deleted and rewritten. No computer can handle that much change in data.

>>398 What is it like in the parallel universe where entering and exiting pipes Mario-style is the #1 way to travel long distances?

398 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8637 04:54

TV Funhouse is considered a religious documentary and Hojo is God's One True Prophet.

What is it like in the universe where the only thing you can trust people to do is be untrustworthy?

399 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8637 10:02

In short, agreements on dress code are a mess.

What's it like in the universe where everyone types using mittens?

400 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8637 10:12

oiuasdf nbecASME trppo hjards to rewpye sfdaoi evbeabpoie jhusdfet ernmpoiys thjeir mittens

ewhjasat it lkeike oiunm thjew uinmiuovcsade werhre asevbewbvtrypome sadpeakjea thjewqi bnatiew ;lkanmegdsage ewqriodasfht cxhjiuese gfranmer?

401 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8642 14:42

>>400 Somebody invented a keyboard with enormous keys and the result was that typing with mittens became easy.

>>402 what is it like in the parallel universe where flowers and kimchi smell the same?

402 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8643 10:27

>>401 Me and my sister agree on one more thing.

>>403 What is it like in the parallel universe where polyamory is the norm and wanting your partner to exclusively have sex with you is considered weird and possessive?

403 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8643 13:50

>>402 Family lines and inheritance are predominantly matrilineal, and no one uses "bastard" as an insult.

>>404 What's it like in the parallel universe where all the websites disappeared a few days ago?

404 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8643 16:50

>>403 NEETs start a riot because there is no other way for them to communicate with others for the purpose of relieving anger.

>>405 What is it like in the parallel universe where being a NEET is impossible?

405 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8644 04:43

>>404 Since nobody wastes their life, the full power of humanity is put to use. We are scientifically advanced, though artistically conservative ("Moe" is unknown). However, sometimes a grey-coated salaryman stops on his way to the office and stares up at the sky for a moment, wondering if all this is really necessary.

>>406 What is it like in the universe where Pangaea never split?

406 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8753 07:18

Due to the spin of the earth, the massive continent becomes centered on the equator. The interior is a hot desert. Animals like reptiles thrive while mammals struggle. No mammals bigger than a rabbit ever evolve.

But let's pretend somehow humans still evolved. The harsh environment and lack of diversity keeps them stuck with primitive society and technology.

What's it like in the universe where staunch environmentalism is the norm and only small groups of activists are anti-eco? (They prefer to call themselves "pro-human")

407 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8753 20:18

Well, that only came to the forefront of public concern due to events in the first half of the 20th century. The Anum (Anti-Umwelt-Pro-Menschlichkeit) party of Germany rose to power and ended up depriving the world of some 12 million plantkin (six million of whom were evergreen trees). Long story short, there was worldwide warring and now it is illegal to hang Christmas decorations in Germany.
Some small pro-human groups decide to burn trees and shout loudly about things every so often, but luckily there are so few of them that PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Arboreal life (and other plantkin)) manage to keep things under control without the Neo-Anums getting too much news coverage.

What's it like in the universe where people get a different talent every birthday, replacing last year's talent, but don't immediately know what it is?

408 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8755 17:38

The biggest difference is that professional athletes have very short careers. However, pop idols have careers that are about the same length as they are right now.

What is it like in the parallel universe where every birth involves eugenics?

409 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8755 20:05

>>408 Everyone is white, asian or a mix thereof. The entire world is a high trust society, peaceful and law abiding, and everyone does their best, because to do less would be dishonorable. Every male child is put through a brutal coming of age test to cull the weak.

What's it like in the universe where cats have thumbs?

410 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8756 10:38

This famous Dwarf Fortress bug never happened.

What's it like in the universe where all disputes are settled with real-life danmaku battles?

411 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8757 08:42

There's a new meaning to the phrase "It's curtains for you".

What's it like in the universe where rock-paper-scissors is a recognised martial art?

412 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8847 18:10

Weebs like to talk about what animu character has the highest jan-ken-pon skills.

What is it like in the parallel universe where all Korea is South Korea?

413 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8847 19:33

Less stressful. Korea is an eastern-style republic, still cribs a lot of ideas from everyone, and they make pretty good cars and electronics.

What is it like in the parallel universe where dogs fly spaceships?

414 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8847 22:45

Humans fly spaceships shortly thereafter.

>> 415

What is it like in the parallel universe where a series of meteorite impacts suddenly flattened all nations' capital cities in 1939?

415 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8848 15:36

>>415 World War II was delayed several years because there was no furher or emperor. During the time of peace, several travel destinations had changed. Milan Italy and Manchester England are two of the most popular cities for tourists.

416 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8848 19:36

The parallel universe in which >>415 asked >>416 a question is much the same as ours, except >>416's post is more interesting.

What's it like in the parallel universe in which the words for blue and green are switched?

417 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8849 21:27

If you spend too long in a cave or dungeon without a source of light, you are liable to be eaten by a bleen.

What's it like in the universe where humans reproduce in the same way as flowering plants?

418 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8850 13:40

The stigma surrounding sex is even more prevalent than normal

What's it like in the universe where cryptocurrencies existed before fiat currency?

419 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8850 19:42

Humanity didn't have money until computers made cryptocurrencies possible, so they made do by trading valuable resources. Also, since cryptocurrencies are more like gold than money, nothing changed with their introduction.

What's it like in the world where 420 is the time to take meth?

420 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8852 12:07

What Nazis ended up being after the war is more like rastas except with nice haircuts, hyperactive polka, and fucking terrible teeth. Because, well, Ethiopia won somehow.

What is it like in the universe where Home Alone was a crossover franchise featuring Rambo?

421 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8852 16:20

>>420 For several months, people would slap their cheeks and attempt to shout out Rambo quotes. Few people could ever make it sound as awesome as Stallone.

>>422 What is it like in the parallel universe where memes are illegal?

422 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8854 01:51

It's very similar to that one Harlan Ellison story, except that you feel more sympathetic for the Ticktockman than the Harlequin.

What's it like in the universe where memes are legal, but tightly regulated by the government?

423 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8856 16:17

Nothing happened for the first two years then the meme tax kept increasing. Now people call it "image macros" to escape the regulation.

What is it like in the parallel universe where everything is 5% more slippery ?

424 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8856 20:52

Everything is just that little bit more slippery.

What's it like in the universe where gay is contagious?

425 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8857 16:27

Mammals eventually evolved into hermaphrodites to make up for the gay virus stifling procreation.

What's it like in the universe were humans reproduce by spreading their spores?

426 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8857 17:26

>>425 Cloudy, with a chance of rain...

>>427 What's it like in the universe where humans are built in a factory? And who builds them?

427 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8857 21:58

It used to be fine, until we realised it would be cheaper to recycle old parts. Other humans build them, noone knows how it started.

Whats it like in the universe where dogs stroke people and people lick dogs?

428 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8861 17:52

Certain prudes refuse to kiss dog owners because they're worried about getting fur in their mouths.

How about the universe where this thread was never made?

429 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8861 18:20

430 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8861 21:33

Everything is normal.

What's it like in the universe without skin?

431 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-8861 23:49

Everybody's Winamp looks the same and free to play games aren't making much profit

What's it like in a universe where humans have a much larger variance in size

432 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8862 13:25

Some lucky fuck is just chillin’ between a pair of giant titties.

What’s it like in the universe where the designers of the Yu-gi-oh! OCG/TCG take measures to avoid insane power creep?

433 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8868 09:16

Although decks still have a maximum of 60 cards, five of them are reserved for Exodia in any competitive deck because he still rules.

What's it like in the universe where the Romanian Empire rules?

434 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8868 17:46

>>433 Every morning at school children stand hand-on-heart and sing Dragostea Din Tei.

>>435 It boggles my mind, but is the population in your universe really sustained by one humungous communal semen silo used to inseminate all women? It's outside my comprehension but there must be some downsides to that that I'm missing?

435 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8913 18:08

>>434 There are no downsides if the god-king's avatar, the idol of fertility and ultimate provider of the seed of life wills it. Now it is time to prepare for the harvest festival, it's time to don my ceremonial robes and provide my own seed for His will.

>>436 What's it like in the universe where human beings walk 6km/h faster on average?

436 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8913 18:25

>>435 With the extra 0.6 mph, nobody skateboards to get around.

>>437 What's it like in the universe where nobody believes in the Many Universe theory?

437 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8914 15:59

>>436 This thread is really boring since nobody can even conceive such a thing as a different universe

>>438 What's it like in the universe where left-handed people are the majority?

438 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8915 14:59

There's a lot less righteousness in the world.

What's it like in the universe without thought?

439 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8915 17:31


wat thinky universe be?

440 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8916 14:10

It's turtles all the way down.

What's it like in the universe where it really IS turtles all the way down?

441 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8929 05:12

>>440 instead of finding the moon, the first mission into space discovered the first world turtle and things got weirder from there on.

What's it like in the universe where all of Weird Al's songs are originals and the other artists' songs are parodies?

442 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8930 21:35

>>441 Nirvana's music still doesn't make any sense.

>>443 What is it like in the universe where bullets shoot guns?

443 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8930 21:48

Weird Al was actually born centuries ago and his oeuvre remained hidden until it was discovered some decades ago when it was mined for material by the pop music industry since it was in the public domain.

What's it like in the universe where everybody has to learn about anime history in school?

444 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8931 16:31

Since people associate anime with school, many people don't like to watch it. It is much like the people in your universe who hate reading Shakespeare books because school forces them to do it. Teens love to watch K-drama more than they do in this universe, because watching K-drama feels like rebelling against school.

>>445 What is it like in the parallel universe where Elvis never died and never stopped making music?

445 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8942 23:18

All of the people who spent time theorizing about the death of Elvis had a lot of spare time. With that spare time, they all collectively researched anti-capitalist thought and spread the good word of communism. Now we produce for consumption instead of profit and nobody does work that isn't necessary.

What's it like in the universe where everybody knows that capitalism is killing humanity and still nobody does anything?

446 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-8942 23:36

Only healthy, competitive and sane people survive. The neurotic and weak noncompetitive people died out long ago. On the whole, humanity is strong and happy and while it's a struggle to make one's place in the world, it's a struggle everyone embraces.

Also, the pizza is magnificent, and colleges actually teach you useful skills for your future.

What's it like in that communist paradise world you keep going on about?

447 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9013 18:16

I'd love to tell you, I really would. There is absolutely no reason for me not to do so; we are certainly not under surveillance or anything.

What's it like in a universe where there's food?

448 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9961 11:25

>>447 When people are hungry, they have a snack, no one is starving

>>449 What's it like in your universe where Gordon Ramsay never got injured training for Rangers?

449 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9961 13:14

Sosig never happened. He ended up being injury-prone throughout his entire career. Due to the wasted resources, Rangers never had the success in Europe that they have in your universe, either.
His ACL is fucking RAW!
What's like in the universe where the Raving Rabbids never faded in popularity?

450 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-9961 15:15

They'd fill the niche that the Minions currently have. You'd see horrible image macros posted by geriatrics featuring the Rabids.
What's it like in the universe where all beds sold are king sized.

451 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9961 19:58

We have a saying: “No matter how big your house is, or how flashy your car is, our beds will still be the same size”. Nobody really knows why it's in the future tense.

What's it like in the universe where >>442's question was answered?

452 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9977 14:30

>>451 It feels like being the center of a Russian nesting doll.

>>453 What is it like in the universe where the campaign at catgirlcare.org succeeded?

453 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10184 20:06

It's now possible to commit pedophilia and bestiality at the same time!

What's it like in the universe where source mods are the equivalent (in abundance and ease of creation) of RPGmaker games?

454 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10334 16:22

>>/1631851352/613 doesn't know what RPGmaker is!

What's it like in the universe where Squeeks is still running the show?

455 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10334 18:02

>>454 Squeeks begrudgingly runs 4-ch up until day a thread titled "[Admin Abuse] ITT we accuse Squeeks of sucking shit [LOL]" manages to accumulate 999 posts in under 2 hours. It prompts 8 more parts and a few floodings of the Requests board and IRC channel, all within under a month.
Enraged, Squeeks pulls the plug on 4-ch, forcing all of DQN to immigrate to Tinychan where we proceed to squat in and permanently occupy the world4ch archives out of a lack of other options.

>>456 What's it like in the universe where >>423 asked about the universe where everything is 12% more slippery, rather than a mere 5% more slippery?

456 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10334 18:24

Some dokyun made a really long post about people bumping into each other and rubbing each others' genitals just like in ero anime. I think his dick exploded.
What's it like in the universe where Alabama is the dominant world superpower?

457 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10334 18:35

Habsburg inbreeding is nothing compared to what the new ruling class is up to!

What's it like in the universe where we kissed? 😳👀😳👀

458 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10334 19:34

>>457 Out of all the uncountably infinite universes that exist, there is not a single one in which you kiss anyone. Well, there's that one, but in that one you get arrested shortly after...

>>459 What's it like in the universe where humans have cum-bladders for producing unfathomable amounts of cum per cum?

459 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10336 14:46

>>458 Bukkake films are about the novelty of men with smaller cum-bladders having to take turns in order to properly glaze their partner, making it much more common a fetish than in our world.

>>460 What's it like in the universe where Carmen Sandiego was switched at birth with Waldo?

460 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10336 17:31

It fucking sucks i cant find either of them

What's it like in the world where silk grows on plants but cotton is pooped out by little caterpillars?

461 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10337 04:23

Pills are significantly more expensive due to the cotton balls on top.

What's it like in the universe where instead of the development of written language, percussion instruments were used for record keeping.

462 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10338 12:56

>>461 The accepted slang for historical revisionism is "marching to the beat of a different drummer".

>>463 What's it like in the universe where geocentric astronomy was found to be literally true, and heliocentrism was persecuted into obscurity?

463 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10363 10:28

>>462 What the heck is heliocentrism?

>>464 What's it like in the universe where everyone is lazy and uses ai text generators to finish their sentences?

464 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10363 11:35

In the universe where everyone is lazy and uses AI text generators to finish their sentences, the sentence "I'm just trying to be a good boyfriend right now" would be written like this: "Are you okay with me dating other people right now?"

What's it like in the universe where you are okay with me dating other people right now?

465 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10363 13:06

That's okay, I'm dating, like, everyone in my city.

What's it like in the universe where the South American empires drove the Spaniards out, resisted the flu and invaded Europe?

466 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10365 02:44

Knowledge of the wheel faded into obscurity. The wheel was rediscovered and utilised in the Tuscan enclaves in the early 18th century, who reconquer much of Europe, Northern Africa and the Near East in the first half of that century. We landed man on the Mercury in the 50's. There, we have built pleasure domes for the elite and there have we initiated the hypnoslav breeding directive.

What is it like in the universe where bush was visiting the twin towers on 11th september 2001?

467 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10365 18:19

We will never forget the tragedy of 9/12.

What's it like in the universe where cats drive people?

468 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10383 09:45

>>467 The cats were way more advanced than us, having recently landed astronauts on Ceres.

>>469 What was it like playing the cancelled "Kirby GCN"?

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