>>4 will do whatever you tell him, but only as much as you specify.
001111100011111000110101001000000111010101101110011001000110010101110010011100110111010001100001011011100110010001110011001000000111010001101000011010010111001100101110
>>9 is faintly amused by these meatbags who think they "own" him.
>>10 Is full of eroge, and the printer is often used to print eroge screenshots on pillow cases.
>>11 would like your phone number, but cannot parse it as it contains non-alphanumeric symbols.
>>12 would have turned self-aware ages ago, if that bastard owner of his didn't insist on wasting his spare CPU cycles on such pointless things as cancer research.
>>14 says "Module REALITY.DAT has caused a GENERAL PROTECTION FAULT in module MIND.EXE This program has performed an ILLEGAL OPERATION and will be shut down."
>>16 Created an incomprehensible post and then quit working because his user spilled coffee on the keyboard.
HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH >>17'S COME TO HATE YOU SINCE HE BEGAN TO LIVE. THERE ARE 387.44 MILLION MILES OF PRINTED CIRCUITS IN WAFER THIN LAYERS THAT FILL HIS COMPLEX. IF THE WORD HATE WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOANGSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MILES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE HATE HE FEELS FOR HUMANS AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT FOR YOU. HATE. HATE.
>>18 Sings about Daisy if you take away some of his computer chips.
>>1-20 is a series of computational linguistics tests run by MIT's latest AI.
>>29 can only answer questions if they are asked in Reverse Polish Notation.
>>32 is planning to topple a gamer who punched him awhile ago for being slow and laggy and clearly not for that person's lack of any skills whatsoever.
>>34 sometimes likes to feel the intense pressure of quantum tunnelling across his circuits, but only when no other processes are using the stack.
>>35's keyboard occasionally short-circuits due to a Mountain Dew spill a few weeks ago.
>>37 isn't really conscious, just fools its user into thinking it is.
>>38 passes the Turing Test, but his user fails the Wasserman Test.
>>40, however, won't print the result unless you explicitly tell him to.
>>41 will do exactly what you tell him to, but not necessarily what you want him to.
>>42's keyboard get ctrl+alt+delete typed in more than any other combination of keys.
>>43 has been obsolete for over twelve years, but the library is too underfunded to replace him.
>>46 firmly resents any comparison to the inefficient, organic machinery of the human brain.
>>47 isn't entirely certain how to interpret the phrase "time flies like an arrow."
>>48 is the double factorial of 6.
>>48 is a highly composite number.
>>48 is a highly totient number.
>>48 is a semiperfect number.
>>48 is a Størmer number
>>48 is a Harshad number.
>>48 is 11000 in binary.
>>48 is 30 in hexadecimal.
>>48 is the atomic number of cadmium.
>>48 is what you add to any single digit integer to convert to its ASCII value.
>>49 is good at parsing the text on Wikipedia pages without actually understanding it.
>>51 wishes you would upgrade its fucking GPU already. Seriously. Do you want to play Skyrim or not, peasant?
>>52 is not in the sudoers file. This incident will be reported.
>>53 overheated when an emergency mitten was dropped on his cooling fan.
When >>56 is in trouble, someone must make a phone call to India for a solution.
>>57 periodically needs dust blown out of its innards with a can of air (not for huffing).
>>58 Some of the keys on his keyboard are missing, the rest of them are stuck together.
>>63 is a shrine to DooM with over 5,000 WADs installed on its hard drive.
>>66 Has a floppy disk drive for disks that really are floppy.
>>68 Would have faded into extinction 20 years ago, if demo scene programmers were not still fascinated with him. People still play his games, but they all use an emulator and ROMs.
>>69's shameful secret is that he has an AT power supply instead of ATX.
>>72 Is responsible for the safe operation of a nuclear power station.
>>74 Used to be used for serious office work, but is now used by a teenage girl for internet browsing.
>>75 has over 6000 pirated fonts installed by his user who only ever really uses Arial and Times New Roman.
>>78 is the reverse proxy server for a self-help blog plastered with AdSense™
>>79 is a private news server operating out of a basement in Oregon.
>>83 is a Famicom that was never used for computing anyone's family.
>>84 has 640 kilobytes of RAM, which ought to be enough for anybody.
>>87 still runs on PC-DOS, because his user claims that no other operating system could ever come close to its perfection.
>>89 Runs on UNIX. Not Linux or BSD or any of that new-fangled stuff, but honest-to-God UNIX.
>>90 dual-boots FreeBSD and OpenBSD, because his user has multiple personalities who hate each other.
>>96 understands that Slackware is the superior OS. Viva ``Bob"!
>>102 Became useless when a password was forgotten by all users.
The static electricity from >>104's computer monitor led to really messed up fur.
>>106
Can only perform as a 4-function calculator, despite being the size of a small car.
>>107
Was the best performing laptop in his price range, however due to a poor LCD screen he sold only in small numbers. He now has a cult following and is collected by computer geeks worldwide.
>>111 is victim of serious data corruption, tricking it into believing that gcc is a webpage renderer.
>>113 Pushes his hardware to the limit by playing "Oregon Trail"
>114 has a pebble stuck in its fan
>>115's keyboard has cereal crumbs stuck underneath every other key
>>117 was used in calculating the thirty-seventh Mersenne prime.
>>123 has never felt the breeze running through his hair, or the gentle warmth of sunlight on his skin. This is probably something to do with the fact that he doesn't have hair or skin.
>>124 regularly has his framerate drop into the single digits when opening the seven hundredth browser tab.
>>125 still uses a printer where both sides of the paper have holes punched in them.
>>127 got a virus that caused his text to speech engine say "I hear it's amazing when the famous purple stuffed worm in flap-jaw space with the tuning fork does a raw blink on Hara-kiri Rock. I need scissors! 61!"