ITT we make a DQN computer game [PART 2] (32)

1 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6801 18:39

Previously:
http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1164416887

>>9 Title
>>4 Genre
>>5 Setting
>>8 Protagonist's name
>>12 Final boss's name
>>15 Protagonist's love interest's name
>>6,11,14 Available weapons
>>3,7,10 Powerups
>>16,17 Synopsis of storyline
>>18,19,20,21 Walkthrough/hints
>>2,22,28 Cheat codes
>>23 Good ending
>>24 Ambivalent ending
>>25 Bad ending
>>26 Really bad ending
>>27 Harem ending
>>29 Secret cow level

2 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6801 19:39

IDDQD

3 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6801 19:47

A 10x10 set of random pixels.

4 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6801 21:01

Roguelike

5 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6801 21:56

O boy, this will be fun.

6 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6801 22:56

A bag of hammers.

7 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6801 23:12

Harden buttocks

8 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6801 23:16

Ramón González Garcia Juanito II

9 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6802 01:28

That Secret Place in The Back of A Bookstore.

10 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6802 02:36

Moe Glasses (Charisma +104, Perception -29)

11 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6802 06:10

ginormous phallic spear

12 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6802 11:32

Great Sky Loli.

>>13 is the new setting because >>5 can't read.

13 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6802 13:23

Victorian England

14 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6802 14:38

sword +1 of troll slaying

15 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6802 15:31

Mr. Gray

16 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6802 15:38

Mittens

17 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6802 15:44

are in tragically short supply, and you must rectify this immediately.

18 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6802 16:06

===================================================================
____,_ _,___ _,__,_,__,__,___ __,_, _, _,__, __, _ ____,___,
| |_|/_\ | (_ |_/ `|_)|_ | |_)| /_\/ `|_ ||\ | | |_||_
| | || | | , )| \ ,| \| | | | ,| |\ ,| || \| | | ||
~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~~~~ ~ ~~~~ ~ ~ ~~~~ ~ ~ ~~~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~~~~

__, _, _,_,_ _,__, _, __, _, _,_,_ _,____,__,__,
|_)/_\/ `|_/ / \|_ / \ |_)/ \/ \|_/(_ |/ \|_)|_
|_)| |\ ,| \ \ /| |~| |_)\ /\ /| \, ) |\ /| \|
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~~~
FAQ by xXx_31337GAMER+_xXx v4.6
===================================================================
CONTENTS
1. Introduction
2. Changes
3. Weapons
4. Walkthrough
5. Hints
6. Credits

1. INTRODUCTION
From the official site: "Mittens, the queen of England commissions Ramón Gonzál
ez Garcia Juanito II to help track down mittens, which are in tragically short
supply. Complicating matters, the Great Sky Loli is on the hunt for the very sa
me items. In the midst of his search, Ramón battles through hordes of generic e
nemies in a series of randomly-generated dungeons. Along his journey he encount
ers all sorts of crazy characters, some who help him, some who hurt him, and on
e who steals his heart. Eventually Ramón discovers that his memories may be fal
se, and that "Queen Mittens" may not be all that she claims. But what will he d
ecide to do with this new information? That is up to you."

19 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6802 17:49

2. CHANGES

  • v4.6: made header logo cooler
  • v4.5: corrected stats for Moe Glasses
  • v4.4: updated FAQ to reflect game patch v1.666
  • v4.3: typo corected
  • v4.2: answered the question of life, the universe and everything
  • v4.1: how to unlock super-secret harem ending
  • v4.0: restarted FAQ on a secret TOR node following DMCA takedown notice

3. WEAPONS
Weapons come in several types and may be enchanted. Base type determines what primary stat is used in the damage formulae.

Strength base types: hammer, sword, mace, chainsaw, spear
Dexterity base types: dagger, whip, bare hand, gentleman's cane
Charisma base types: S&M paddle, dildo, feather duster
Perception base types: pistol, shotgun, monocle (through which to glare disapprovingly)

3.1 Prefix enchantments

  • Useless: weapon does triple damage. The name is just to throw you off.
  • Slayers': double damage and increases goofiness rating of your adventure for the duration that it is used.
  • Sexy: adds charisma bonus and intelligence penalty.
  • Nerdy: adds intelligence bonus and charisma penalty.
  • Glowing: lights up Ramón's surroundings and slowly irradiates him for as long as it is carried. Look for vodka to offset the effects.
  • Metal: covered in spikes for extra damage and causes strange grinding and growling sounds when striking. Wear the "corpse paint" makeup to increase the effect.
  • Lulzy: increases adventure goofiness rating and decreases intelligence. Random chance of permanent intelligence decrease if in(v)oked to cause humorous effects.
  • Disney's: Ramón may randomly burst into sentimental song, increasing his morale but alerting nearby monsters.
  • Lovecraft's: enemies struck by this must make a successful saving throw or go insane. Not that most of them weren't already.

3.2 Suffix enchantments

  • of speed: increases agility threefold. May cause addiction making it impossible to unwield without a scroll of rehab.
  • with lace: increases charisma and femininity.
  • of the Dongoloid: sets Ramón's intelligence to 1 but doubles his strength and constitution.
  • of dignity: increases gentlemanliness.
  • of the monk: disables lust meter (Ramón will no longer need to pause his adventure for clandestine masturbation)
  • of the trap: allows Ramón to wear dresses without the accompanying penalties.
  • of Lulz: random chance to polymorph a struck enemy into a cat that wants cheeseburgers. Cat will follow Ramón as an ally and pester him every 25 turns.

3.3 Legendary Weapons:

  • bag of hammers: you can (t)hrow this an infinite number of times to throw a hammer from the bag. Thrown hammers are identical to the regular Carpenter Hammer. Melee strikes with the bag do massive damage against normal enemies.
  • ginormous phallic spear: you can only wield this if you have 30 or more strength and are equipped with the "spiky-haired douche bag" hairstyle. Performs well against all enemies except Sigmund Freud.
  • sword +1 of troll slaying: forces any internet prankster to treat you politely when struck.

20 Name: grey!C.MxxuCiTo : 1993-09-6802 19:50

Always Look behind every waterfall. The bigger the waterfall, the more valuable the treasure chest. Items that would be damaged by water are never in chests found in this manner.

21 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6803 11:56

The player earns more and better rewards for taking breaks, depending on the number and length of time between play sessions. Thus casual gamers are more powerful and better equipped than more serious and hardcore gamers

22 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6803 12:10

Set the system clock to September 4999, 23:59:00 and hold select+start+R4+Z during the starting screen. As soon as the clock hits September 5000, you will unlock the secret BGM "DQN-kun It Puts the Lotion in the Basket" and the secret "gay magic" spell.

23 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6803 22:12

Needed: Blu-ray box set of the Clerks trilogy, 3d-rom disk-drive

Put the game in the vertical slot of your disk-drive and the blu-rays in the horizontal drive in the following order: 2 3 1

The screen should now fade to blue and it will ask you if it's safe. Press 'y' on your keyboard and the screen fades out again.

Now remove the blu-rays and start up the game using the name 'chixwdix', you can now acces a hidden cutscene behind the most southern waterfall, also known as 'Clondike's Gold'.

24 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6803 22:20

>>23
"I messed up.", said arthritis. The trusty steed was still hovering over the corpse of his former owner. "Will I be forgiven at home?", he murmured. His father came galloping from the horizon and used his unrivalled hearing and speaking skill-set to yell into the horse's head, "I LOVE YOU". Arthritis was shocked to see his father in this world of hatred and gang-related crimes and could do nothing but stare at the horizon. His father just kind of stood there; there was no reason for him to come closer, having the skills he had. Arthritis lost his sight looking at the setting sun behind his father, but after years of training he fully mastered the 'SONAR' technique, which his father was more than happy to teach him.

He married to wise mare and had a son which ended up becoming a stock broker and a daughter who ended up as a stork breaker. Together they ruled the land.

25 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6804 00:35

But alas, Ramón was deported to the People's Democratic Republic of Elbonia and spent years building railroads as part of a chain gang. With a whip-scarred back and steely muscles from day after day of sledgehammer swinging, he raised his fist to the sky and vowed to get revenge.

But that is another story.

26 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6804 08:41

Ramón González Garcia Juanito II waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were big fat butts in the base. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Mr. Gray were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.

Ramón was a bookstore employee for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the shelves and he said to dad "I want to work in a bookstore daddy."
Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY BIG FAT BUTTS"
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the depths of the dungeon searching for mittens, he knew there were big fat butts.
"This is the Queen of England" the radio crackered. "You must fight the big fat butts!"

So Ramón gotted his bag of hammers and threw them up the wall.
"HE GOING TO KILL US" said the big fat butts
"I will shoot at him" said the Great Sky Loli and she fired the phallic spears. Ramón hammered at her and tried to blew her up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
"No! I must kill the big fat butts" he shouted
The radio said "No, Ramón. You are the butts"

And then Ramón was a loli.

27 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6824 20:57

Rocks fall, everyone dies.

28 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6824 21:23

This post is useless and my vc is "yam".

29 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6932 20:21

The cows of Japanese type, you must have at least 30 human ear headbands to beat them.

31 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6936 14:08

32 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7100 00:15

>>19 Did you say nerd?

Name: Link:
Leave these fields empty (spam trap):
More options...
Verification: