ITT The previous poster is a pervert (152)

1 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6944 23:58

>>0 died during auto-erotic asphyxiation.

2 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6945 03:03


         ■■■■■
      ■■■     ■■
     ■■         ■■
   ■■■         ■■■
   ■■■          ■■
   ■■■■         ■■
    ■■■         ■■
                 ■■
                ■■
               ■■
             ■■
            ■■
           ■
         ■■
       ■■
      ■    ∧ ∧      ■  ■■■    ■■■■  ■■■■■
    ■■    (*゚ー゚)     ■  ■       ■       ■  ■  ■
   ■■     (∩∩)    ■■ ■  ■■■ ■■■       ■
   ■■■■■■■■■■■■ ■    ■   ■          ■
   ■■■■■■■■■■■■  ■■■■   ■■■■     ■

3 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6945 05:20

this thread is too lewd! i must derail it, but how...

i know!

ITT we talk about about cats

i had a cat when i was a kid. he would be out for several days at a time, but one day he did not came back.

i wonder what happened to him.

4 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6945 12:53

I wish I had a cat.

I also wish I could start a new thread, but there's far too many already right now.

5 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6945 15:04

>>4
there's never too much threads!

6 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6957 11:25

You're thinking of yarn.

7 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6959 23:24

>>6 Likes being bukakked in the middle of Central Park, NYC.

8 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6960 10:17

>>7 video tapes his mother in the shower

9 Name: !ESpeoN/nPA : 1993-09-6960 13:46

>>3-6
I'm a cat, you know

10 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6960 15:19

>>9 Is a man who cross dresses by wearing a catgirl costume.

11 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6960 15:43

Earlier today, on my way home, I saw a cat sitting on the roof of a house. It was white with black patches, and it was sitting overlooking the street. I went up to it and it lay down, with just its head sticking over the edge. I stared into its little green eyes and it gazed back at me. I'm not sure how long I stood there, but it can't have been more than a minute or two. Nonetheless, that was easily the best thing to have happened to me today.

12 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6961 17:20

>>11 is a zoophile.

13 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6961 22:38

>>12
Suck a man dick

14 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6961 23:11

So anyway, getting back on topic, a few weeks ago I found myself staying in a pleasantly scenic mountain town in northern Italy. For reasons I don't even remember, I set myself the arbitrary goal of locating a cat. Perhaps I was suffering from a fluffy cat deficiency, I don't know.

As it turns out, I stayed there for almost two weeks, leaving the house every day and going for fairly long walks around residential areas, both inner city and rural, and in that time I did not see a single cat.

Well, I suppose that isn't strictly true; I saw one cat, but...
http://imgur.com/a/f6VKr

15 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6961 23:42

>>14 sucked 45 cat penises

16 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6962 06:57

>>15 sucked 37 cat penises, in a row.

17 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6962 12:34

>>16 Is Pedobear.

18 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6962 14:10

>>17

Has sexual intercourse in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation and with the lights out.

19 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6962 19:21

>>18 sat alone in a Japanese love hotel and masturbated to the in-room porn before crying himself to sleep.

20 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6966 14:55

>>19 Has to build hos own sex toys because his anus is too wide for any toy sold in a store.

21 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-6996 17:50

>>20 Learned sign language because he usually has a gag ball in his mouth. Once his mistress realized that, she put special handcuff on >>20.

22 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7015 11:41

>>21 drinks menstrual blood as an aphrodisiac.

23 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7016 02:57

>>22 Doesn't bathe. He takes golden showers instead.

24 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7016 14:14

>>14
That's pretty coo.

25 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7016 15:34

>>24 goes into a state of shock if he doesn't drink his daily allotment of dog cum

26 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7016 17:47

When >>25 went to a ranch, he got thrown out for horse bestiality.

27 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7016 18:27

>>26 frequently has nosebleeds in public.

28 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7016 22:38

>>27 likes to lick other people's nosebleeds in public.

29 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7016 23:58

>>28 upgraded his car with a faux tail pipe which has a fleshlight in it.

30 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7017 00:38

>>29 Got bored of using hot candle wax to turn himself on, so he used napalm instead.

31 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7017 05:15

>>30 is never satisfied unless all holes are in use.

32 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7017 07:54

>>31 doesn't only knows LaTeX. He wears it over his entire body.

33 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7018 03:00

>>32 can only ejaculate when pooping.

34 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7028 23:38

>>33 Is a typical Japanese businessman.

35 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7029 00:42

>>34 Got turned on by his post number.

36 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7029 02:03

>>35 cums in exactly 35 seconds.

37 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7029 10:07

>>36 Walks through the vegetable isle with a look of desire in his eyes.

38 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7029 13:35

>>37 Grinds Viagra pills into powder and then snorts them to get a stronger erection.

39 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7029 21:32

>>38 is an audiophile who enjoys inerting a 1/4" jack into his penis.

40 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7030 13:43

>>39 Has the biggest shemale penis in the world.

41 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7030 13:48

>>40 had a baculum implanted in his penis.

42 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7030 16:57

Biological weapon laboratories pay >>41 a fortune for all the incredibly dangerous sexually transmitted diseases he has.

43 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7031 00:31

>>42 has the world's largest collection of Robotnik x Sonic hentai.

44 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7031 17:02

>>43 Has an electric powered penis enlarger pump.

45 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7105 05:39

>>44 stores all his released sperm in a jar covered with Sailor Moon stickers.

46 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7107 23:13

>>45 stole >>44's jar and drank the semen while being watched by 100 people. >>45 the proceeded to make vomit porn by puking up all that semen on a Sailor Moon cosplayer.

47 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7108 02:30

>>46 paid top dollar for the banned video of >>45's exploits.

48 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7108 04:23

>>47 Sneaks into medieval dungeons with his mistress, and they use the real torture equipment. >>47 got an epic erection when the janitor found >>47 and his mistress, because >>47 is an exhibitionist.

49 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7108 11:49

>>48 has actually never had sex, but has manipulated at least 57 people into having sex or masturbating on camera for him. He does not actually masturbate to these videos himself; he uses the knowledge of the fact that he manipulated them to gain a sort of sexual pleasure. >>48 is able to get a hands-free ejaculation just by thinking about the fact that he has manipulated so many people.

50 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7108 17:33

>>49 Made a bee sting his dick so the inflammation would make it bigger.

51 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7108 20:19

>>50, like >>25, writes My Little Pony erotic fanfiction and posts it online, on the Chan that shall Not be Named.

52 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7109 20:27

>>51 puts on MLPFiM costumes and so do other people, so they can act out scenes from >>50's fanfiction.

53 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7109 22:00

>>52 keeps mentioning My Little Pony.

54 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7110 00:18

>>53 makes ryona hacks of Metroid games.

55 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7110 14:35

>>54 Had anal sex with clonepa

56 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7111 04:44

>>55 Raped an Ape.

57 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7111 10:28

>>56 deliberately touches fellow passengers' hands.

58 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7112 01:17

>>57 rides trains all across Japan so he gets numerous opportunities to touch women inappropriately and get away with it.

59 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7113 06:03

>>58 can fit a whole man-hand in his gaping gaynus.

60 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7113 15:35

>>59 Got tired of being fisted, so he had his partner put a foot up his anus.

61 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7114 17:51

>>60 shoves Barby's hand into his penis.

62 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7114 17:57

>>60 had his body surgically converted into a train and surreptitiously placed in service on a Saitama line so that people would grope each other inside him.

63 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7115 02:52

>>62 reflexively needs to be whipped every time he hears a Devo song.

64 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7115 23:00

>>63 has a Devo fetish
(But don't feel bad, once you start, you can't stop. I know)

65 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7130 00:30

>>64 Stole the body of a dead young girl, preserved her with the finest taxidermy methods, dressed her up as Card Captor Sakura, and uses it as his hug pillow.

>>64 is now searching for bodies to be used as the other Card Captors.

66 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7130 01:37

>>65 wrote an extreme sex fanfic involving a four-way between Egoraptor, Jontron, Barry and Rgue the Bat.

67 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7130 04:24

>>66 shoved his dick up and elephant's trunk.

68 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7130 22:36

>>67 uses cute euphemisms for ejaculation, like "elephant's trunk", so he can get his rocks off talking dirty in front of minors.

69 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7131 01:20

>>68 wanks it on the plastic

70 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7132 00:44

>>69 likes his post number a bit TOO much.

71 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7132 00:53

>>70 observed that his post number looks like a satisfied penis dangling near a gaping orifice.

72 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7132 16:46

>>71 couldn't find any little girl panties to steal this week and had to masturbate into his own tighty whities he'd been saving since childhood.

73 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7132 19:09

>>72 Created a scheme to get used panties from young girls.
First he buys new panties that are fashionable
Then he tells girls that if you give me your used panties, I will give you some nice new ones.

He has a large number of bonus points on his Victoria's Secret credit card.

74 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7133 22:58

>>73 Was raised in America's Bible Belt, and the inability to talk of or have sex caused perverted ideas to ferment in >>73's mind.

75 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7134 07:35

>>74 cybernetically replaced his penis with a Wiimote and plays video games with it all day.

76 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7134 10:16

>>75 Was raised where Shariah laws are strictly enforced, causing even more perverse ideas to ferment in his mind compared to >>73

77 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7137 19:20

>>76 Shoved a pine cone up his ass because ordinary anal stimulation is enough.

78 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7139 21:08

>>77 is a victim of http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1351113079/333 but secretly likes it all.

79 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7140 12:27

>>78 Built tentacles for himself so he could recreate scenes from his favorite Japanese porn movies

80 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7157 22:30

After >>79 found fruit flavored condoms, he invented genital and semen flavored fruit.

81 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7157 22:35

>>80 makes porno Doom WADs.

82 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7159 18:43

>>81 plays them.

83 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7159 19:19

>>82 masturbates as he watches people play porno Doom Wads

84 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7159 23:11

>>83 Has perfect maps of A/C ductwork in buildings. That way he can spy on the women in any room, and not fall through the weakest duct.

85 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7159 23:42

>>84 likes a good wad to the face

86 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7160 00:39

>>85 perspires at the thought of being publicly tighed-up and given some rough spanking.

87 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7160 00:55

>>86 has a perspiration fetish.

88 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7160 16:12

>>87 Had nasal sex.

89 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7160 16:23

>>88 intentionally got nostril-fucked by a guy with a micropenis.

90 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7160 18:18

>>89 had two monkeys have a go with his nose together.

91 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7160 22:29

>>90 Got hypoxia by getting multiple Brazilian porn stars to fart in his face.

92 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7236 03:23

>>91 Steals keys from people who work in morgues. That way he can get as much necrophilia as he wants.

93 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7236 19:36

>>92 loves to have a bunch of hunks ejaculate on him whilst he is hanging on the balls.

94 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7236 20:25

>>93 Set up a camera in his bathroom to record people peeing, but the only person who uses his bathroom is him, but he still masturbates to his videos of himself peeing.

95 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7238 23:28

>>94 Visits China so he can do all kinds of horrible things to unwanted baby girls.

96 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7239 23:50

>>95 choked on his own dick to death.

97 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7240 07:32

>>96 masturbates while fantasizing about cleaning second-hand keyboards with his tongue.

98 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7240 15:11

>>97 Buys anal lube by the 55 gallon drum.

99 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7242 02:07

>>98 can only get erect in the presence of an NES.

100 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7244 02:34

>>99 Paid someone in the "ITT the previous poster is a nerd" thread to create the world's most advanced cock ring.

101 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7254 01:29

>>100 Put on a sailor suit, and got buttfucked by a guy in a sailor suit, simultaneously sucking off a guy in a Japanese boy's school uniform. He successfully modeled 2 sexual stereotypes at the same time, a typical Japanese schoolgirl, and a typical lonely seaman.

102 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7254 01:52

>>101 licks girls deodorant sticks

103 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7254 15:03

>>102 would tell you about his hardcore tentacle-nipples fetish, but he's busy writing your character into the tentacle-nipples eroge he's currently making.

104 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7254 15:59

>>103 came uncontrollably after misreading 'seaman' from >>101's post.

105 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7255 18:13

>>104 Dressed up as Sea Man of South Park and made love to Gay Fish Kanye West.

106 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7274 22:55

>>105 likes to discuss Uranus.

107 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7275 02:42

>>106 likes to distend his gaynus.

108 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7296 20:09

>>107 fucked someone's ass with the horn of a unicorn costume, and then had the same thing done to him by someone else wearing a unicorn costume.

109 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7296 20:45

>>108 custom sews hermaphroditic unicorn costumes based on MLP characters.

110 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7296 20:56

>>109 sniffs girls shoes when they're not looking

111 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7296 23:57

Walking through >>110's house and not touching anything that had his body fluids on it is like playing Touhou on lunatic mode.

112 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7308 18:56

>>111 Fisted a horse while wearing a boxing glove.

113 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7308 19:01

>>112 Named his penis "Rocky" and wanks it with a boxing glove.

114 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7313 18:16

>>113 gets his dick sucked by a vacuum cleaner.

115 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7316 00:41

>>114 Uses a model of Asuka Langley as a cumrag.

116 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7316 00:44

>>115 fantasizes about Gendo Ikari being his daddy.

117 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7413 01:37

>>116 Fucked a whale in the blowhole.

118 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7413 13:04

>>117 created a piñata of Zardoz so he could beat it with his evil penis.

119 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7418 21:55

>>118 is spooning a bard.

120 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7418 23:50

>>119 bought the Cock Flavored Soup mix and was disappointed that it didn't taste like the cock he expected.

121 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7428 17:04

>>120 has a naked lady fetish.

122 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7428 18:34

>>121 loves urethral sounding

123 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7428 21:54

>>122 Shoved a rabbit up his ass because gerbils weren't good enough for hi anymore.

124 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7433 21:49

>>123 took a man in a rabbit suit up his ass while quoting Bugs Bunny.

125 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7435 14:20

>>124 Held an enormous crap in for 2 weeks, so he could amazing anal stimulation, and have a gape that lasts all day.

126 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7435 16:03

>>125 can only achieve orgasm while reading this thread.

127 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7436 01:34

>>126 can't achieve orgasm even when reading this thread, because it still lacks that Special Extra Something.

128 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7436 13:17

>>127 made me want to achieve orgasm RIGHT NOW

129 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7436 17:42

>>128 Built a fleshlight that simulates having a domina step on his penis with high heels.

130 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7437 03:32

>>129 is on a mission to develop the best faux shit formula to use with his fleshlight anus.

131 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7438 01:14

>>130 sculpts Formula 1 car models out of poop.

132 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7438 17:42

>>131 Has anal beads that use bowling balls.

133 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7439 02:01

>>132 touches my tra-la-la.

vc: tuneable

134 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7441 15:19

>>133 Has oval shaped nipples from using nipple clamps for too long.

135 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7441 16:34

>>134 makes a double peace sign while orgasming

136 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7441 20:32

>>135 never produced anything VIP quality

137 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7442 00:09

>>136 Had a tongue extension to look like >>136's favorite Ahegao picture.

138 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7467 19:00

>>137 Disguised himself as a urinal to get more golden showers.

139 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7468 18:34

>>138 is such a pervert that he became bisexual because he exhausted every piece of straight pornography in the known universe.

140 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7468 22:18

>>139 wasn't satisfied by mere bisexuality and is a pansexual.

141 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7468 23:52

>>140 knows that you can't spell "amusement" without "semen".

142 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7469 02:35

>>141 is a PENIS EXPERT.

143 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7469 22:52

>>142 Has sex with retarded people and records it on video. He calls it "Tardcore"

144 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7491 15:52

>>143 wrote the cooking with semen cookbook.

145 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7491 18:06

>>144 Read the book and enjoyed it.

146 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7528 03:00

>>145 bred a new strain of cucumber that's 70% more dildonic than the standard variety, and calls it the cuCUMber.

147 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7528 05:06

>>146 Travels around the world to take one of every cock in the animal kingdom

148 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7528 18:54

>>147 knows you can't spell "happiness" without P E N I S.

149 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7528 23:48

>>148 Bought the Dodge Challenger Scat Pack and created a Night Shift Nurses itaisha out of it.

150 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7529 23:32

>>149 giggled when he read 'dildonic'

151 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7529 23:40

>>150 masturbates to erotic drawings of Beavis & Butt-head.

152 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7540 21:37

When >>151's penis was too sore from excessive masturbation, he put Novocaine on it, and continued fapping.

Name: Link:
Leave these fields empty (spam trap):
More options...
Verification: