#LIFEHAX [Captain Obvious] (61)

1 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7144 04:56

If you're looking for something in the dark, turn on the lights. #LIFEHAX

2 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7144 04:59

When you run out of food during the week, write it down on a piece of paper. The next time you go grocery shopping, bring along the piece of paper and you'll never forget anything again. #LIFEHAX

3 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7144 06:06

Don't stick copper wire up your urethra then heat it at the other end. It will hurt. #LIFEHAX

4 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7144 07:33

Standard notebooks have a hidden feature manufacturers DON'T want you to know about! If you inspect closely, light blue lines run across the paper. You can use these as a guide to improve the neatness and organization of your handwriting, therefore wasting less space on the paper.

5 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7144 09:58

People use elevators all the time, but not many know that many elevators have bonus buttons. They usually look like <|> and >|<. These two secret buttons can keep the doors open or hasten the closing of the door respectively. #LIFEHAX

6 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7144 18:23

Don't wash your clothes--wear them! After the first month or so, your sweat will seep through and clean even the toughest stains! #LIFEHAX

7 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7145 01:33

A sewing thimble with two eyeholes cut out can be used as a tiny knight's helmet for your pet worm #LIFEHAX

8 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7145 02:53

Keep bottles of water in your car because you never know when you will be in a traffic jam and get thirsty because you can't leave your car #LIFEHAX

9 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7147 12:37

If you feel tired and go to bed, you'll wake up full of energy. #LIFEHAX

10 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7147 16:57

Fire is a great way to make things hot. Fire works well when you are not very warm, or on things that you may want to eat (but are kinda gross right now cause they're cold).
Don't set fire to anything alive though! It'll make the most awful noise. #LIFEHAX

11 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7147 19:05

>>10
You can also use fire to see in the dark, or to scare wild animals away or for entertainment. Fireworks, for example, are spectacular sight of a fire. #LIFEHAX

12 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7147 23:10

If you have a headache, don't bang trash can lids on your head. #LIFEHAX

13 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7147 23:58

Save time telling people your web address by starting with "triple-u triple-u dot". #LIFEHAX

14 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7148 00:05

If you ever find yourself with cash, take it to a shop. They will exchange your cash for more useful items like food and beer. #LIFEHAX

15 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7148 00:50

When making a wheel, try carving out a circular shape. This will reduce friction with the ground at any one point on the wheel. #LIFEHAX

16 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7149 18:15

Don't murder someone because they owe you $8. The legal fees and probable jail time will outweigh the $8s.

17 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7192 00:11

Look at people when speaking to them. This will make you more likable. #LIFEHAX

18 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7192 08:57

You can save up to two minutes of your average journey on foot if you cross roads on red light. #LIFEHAX

19 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7194 14:43

Did you know that if you point your mouse pointer at a green number next to thumbs up button on youtube comments, you can actually see how many people thumbed it up or down.

So, next time you see a meme torn out of context with hundreds of thumbs up, you can actually check how many sane people are out there. #LIFEHAX

20 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7194 20:29

If you ever think you're a dog, you're most likely wrong. #LIFEHAX

21 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7194 22:30

If you struggle to overtake a car in front of you, a soft bump into its back might force it to stop. #LIFEHAX

22 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7195 10:46

If you break the law and nobody notices, you can pretend that you didn't break it. #LIFEHAX

23 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7196 03:18

On the internet, no one knows you're a dog. #LIFEHAX

24 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7196 10:01

If you run at a blind corner with your shoulder forward, you're highly likely to remain on foot in a possible collision. Additionally it would teach other people to avoid blind corners. #LIFEHAX

25 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7204 23:03

If you are in a hurry and need to find out what time it is, simply check your watch, phone, computer, clock, and/or other time-displaying item(s). #LIFEHAX

26 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7217 16:14

If you're trying to get away from police don't show that if a police officer approaches you. #LIFEHAX

27 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7218 00:32

If you find yourself in the dark, light your pocket torch up. If you don't have it equipped you might want to check your inventory by pressing "I" key. #LIFEHAX

28 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7218 13:31

Feeling hungry? Try eating something! Contemplating your mortality? Drink more whisky! Many uncomfortable sensations come with a cure, such as dry eyes (cured by blinking), coldness (cured by putting on a jumper), and interacting with the attractive sex (cured by not being so damn awkward)! #LIFEHAX

29 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7218 14:28

Avoid a hangover by just staying drunk #LIFEHAX

30 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7218 15:43

Have trouble remembering which way to plug in your USB devices? Try plugging it in one way and you should have a 50% chance of getting it right. If it still doesn't work, plugging it in the other way should have a 100% success rate. #LIFEHAX

31 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7218 15:52

Do you want to remember what your drunken friends were doing to mock them about it later? Do you want to stay sober without losing respect? Rub your face and especially nose with your palms, mess up your hair slightly and say, "Uuugh, I've had enough. Nah, thanks." #LIFEHAX

32 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7218 20:05

>>30
I swear, that never works. It takes me AT LEAST three tries every time.

33 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7219 20:56

>>32
I concur. Bad advice, works only when you look at the port and the connector after an unsuccessful blind attempt.

34 Name: ( ˃ ヮ˂) : 1993-09-7229 00:51

If a dishonourable death is inevitable, commit suicide before it happens. For example, if you find yourself moments away from a fatal collision with a tree or an oncoming vehicle due due to drunk driving, shoot yourself in the head first. #LIFEHAX #NotAllReligionsMayApply

35 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7551 02:16

Co-workers avoiding you? Strangers giving you dirty looks? Try deodorant! #LIFEHAX

36 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7551 02:18

Found your girlfriend dead? Breakup sex! #LIFEHAX

37 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7707 16:13

Poor college student? Bored of 20 cent ramen packs? Add organic vegetables for a meal that costs nine dollars and totally defeats the purpose of cheap ramen in the first place! #lifehax

(seriously, I see tons of articles like this. Are they all fucking morons?)

38 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7707 17:51

Feeling depressed? Stop using the internet so much! #LIFEHAX

39 Name: (*߁[) : 1993-09-7707 23:10

No social life? Suicidal thoughts? Commit sudoku! #LIFEHAX

40 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7708 14:05

Tired of solving sudoku puzzles? Try arroword! #LIFEHAX

41 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7941 05:40

When you shave your balls, don't worry about finding a place to hide that embarrassing ballhair! Just put the extra hair up your bum and forget about it. #LIFEHAX

42 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7941 18:17

Have something else in your bum, but had to shave balls? Rub yourself in honey and stick to your chest, back, arms and legs! Look manly, become a lady magnet! Make a ballhair facial hair that will look genuine! #LIFEHAX

43 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7942 06:29

97% of table tennis games are won by the player that scores the first point. The next time you play table tennis, you can save time by only playing one point and then rolling two dice. If you get snake eyes, the player that didn't score wins.

44 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7942 09:57

Keep track of what you're doing so you can remember what you're doing if you forget what you're doing. #LIFEHAX

45 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7942 12:25

>>37
I've seen those, but my favorites are the ones that say "Do you owe a lot of money to the credit card companies? Well, maybe you should stop using the credit cards for a while and pay your debts!" #lifehax #genius #this_is_certfied_financial_adviser_stuff_right_here

46 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7942 22:43

i lllooveee her so mush kiss her

47 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7943 00:29

if you want a robust, customizable, source-based, non-systemd gnu/linux distro, install gentoo

48 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7944 17:46

It's easier to peel a banana from the bottom, by pulling the stem towards you. That way the tip of the banana won't get mushy as you try to squeeze the peel away. #lifehax #intelligent_design #atheist_nightmare #peanut_butter #whats_selective_breeding_anyway

49 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7944 21:00

Put mittens on your hands when removing something from a hot oven. This will protect your hands from the heat. #LIFEHAX #MITTENS

50 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7953 17:16

Put mittens on your hands while playing baseball. This will protect your hands from fast-traveling balls when you catch them. #LIFEHAX #MITTENS

51 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7960 00:50

Move to the state of Michigan, which in profile resembles a giant mitten.

http://mapsof.net/uploads/static-maps/michigan_cities_and_towns.png

...or don't, as our cities are crime-ridden Third World pestholes, our economy is crumbling, and it snows from October to April every year.

52 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7960 03:54

>>51
Ohio isn't any better, but at least we have Toledo.

53 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7960 15:06

Doing something personal and private you don't want anyone to know about? Stay inside! #LIFEHAX

54 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7960 18:40

>>51

>October to April

It snows from September to November, there are ice storms from November to May/early june, and the other month/month and a half are blistering humid heat, and our governor previously ran Gateway computers into the ground killing off some of the best laptops of the day.
At least there's a few dive bars in Mackinaw City.

55 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7960 23:49

Put gloves over your mittens to protect them #LIFEHAX #MITTENS

56 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-7961 00:18

( ) #MITTENS

57 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10122 18:09

Broken earphones/aux cable? Staple it to the back of a board or picture frame or something. You can now hang it on the wall, if there is a nail or something there. #LIFEHAX

58 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10174 09:59

Save money on batteries by only putting them in your clock when you want to know the time #LIFEHAX

59 Name: moot!Ep8pui8Vw2 : 1993-09-10223 19:26

test

60 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10363 22:07

Inside of a house and your feet feel cold? Put socks on (socks are like mittens for your feet). Feet still feel cold? Put shoes on over your socks. #LIFEHAX

61 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-10363 23:04

Save money on groceries by developing an eating disorder. #LIFEHAX

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