[BEYOND DQN] Someone else's comment from some site nobody knows [PASTE] [PART 6] (999)

1 Name: (*゚ー゚) : 1993-09-9873 19:50

nigger

301 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9970 01:41

>>300
This didnt make me laugh but amused me in a way that made me a nasal noise I don’t know what the word is

302 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9970 03:24

fascism is when you're cool and handsome have lots of friends and enjoy driving fast cars and abusing stimulants

303 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9970 11:52

>>302
ok benito mussolini

304 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9970 13:37

305 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-9971 03:13

Legalize Cannabis worldwide!!! 世界中で大麻を合法化する!!!

306 Name: vc: goy : 1993-09-9972 00:52

Dreidel. Its a jewish beyblade with symbols on each side. Eacj symbol means something and you have to do something with the symbols i think

307 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9972 13:00

I DON'T CARE IF I DON'T LIKE IT I WANT IT

308 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9973 13:31

Hi babe, I couldn't help but notice your bra strap near snapping from the colossal magnitude of your sloppy, giant, curvy, perky, lactosious breaticular boobs. Your fun sized blazing bazinga bazookas, your money making bosomous bing bongs. I bet they must be spewing with milk constantly, much like the velocity of Niagara falls: fast, dangerous, yet sexy and provocative. I can only hope to experience the true weight and glory of your gargantuan, epic, splendiferous milky mommy breasty boobies one day.

309 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9974 02:39

ever watch snuff?🙈one of the 9/11 jumpers had all their organs squeezed out of their asshole on impact

310 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9974 17:58

This site is dead anyway, do expect anything else? It's been shit forever, I don't get it. People like you think that text boards will ever come back and the "early days" of the internet you faggots LOVE to have wet dreams about is EVER going to come back. Face it, in 20 years sites like this will be gone and all the gen-z fags will be gawking about the "old days" of discord, tiktok, and fortnite.

Go ahead, tell be i'm a "newfag", or a "normalfag", cause let me tell you, you better hold on tight to what you still have and gatekeep harder cause websites like these will be fucking extinct. I mean they already are to be honest look at all the emojis spammed across every board.

Oh wait, I forgot to ask you to tell me to "Lurk more". Ahahahahahah your fucking funny as hell.

311 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9974 23:28

i want someone funcked me like that if shemale then perfect

312 Name: vc: trad : 1993-09-9975 02:10

Spartans didn't shower so these femboys had at least 50 layers of cum butter on their skin

313 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9975 04:31

OT: they’re remaking the Kung Fu tv series.
Guess which gender.
You guessed. How’d ya do it.

314 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9975 19:11

I can’t say “let them come” hard enough and not sound like a bad porn actress

315 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9975 19:33

I'm not serious lol and not even gay. I'm just really polite I guess

316 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9976 05:21

Nya, the mentally ill racist-anime-twitter adjacent one who findommed some redditor into recording himself saying "nigger" and sent it to his woke girlfriend and got doxxed by a bunch of angry black people for it. Not my favorite because I particularly support any of that but because it's all so spectacularly fucked up that I can't look away. Like watching a train crash into an orphanage.

317 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9976 17:23

For $600, you can buy roughly 20 mail packaging tubes, fill them with spaghetti, and mail them over to your house representative.

318 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9978 19:41

F-list went from being an incredibly niche and discriminating site to a glorified replacement for instant messengers. It's social media for degenerates.

Some people just want some no-frills spontaneous typefucking without the guarantee of the other person breaking down into a sob story or blogging about videogames..

319 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9979 01:06

furries who don't groom must have awful matting

320 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9979 01:54

>>318
>>319
Are you on /trash/ or something?

321 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9979 04:03

This just reminds me of an argument I had a few years ago. I am, in fact, a giant geek, and used to play a forum-based political roleplaying game because I'm a giant ass nerd. Players wrote legislation, ran elections, etc. And I got into it with another player in an in-character debate - in the game's House of Representatives - where he was defending Hentai and trying to amend a child protection/anti-CP bill to specifically exempt it because it was "racist" to say Hentai is CP.

I don't think I've ever seen anyone as dedicated to defending hentai as he was. And then I read some of those linked comments.

322 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9979 04:11

why is it always anime girls

323 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9979 07:16

Remind them that when Santa Claus first arrived at the Arctic in his sleigh to slaughter six million Eskimo aboriginals, the first words he said were "Ho ho ho!"

324 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9980 18:16

I think people who say that christian values have built up western socety are not right.

Source:i Have no soruce
Opinion:My opinion is leaning towards that greek and moder time 17th hundread and 16th aand asowdhawdio = NOT JEWS
~~~~I will try to be neutral~~~~

Never ever has a socety had a civilisation with only ONE GOD.
Look:
The ancient greek hade multiple goods and they were a great socety!
The ancient egypts hade multiple goods and they were a great socety!
The ancient romans hade multiple goods and they were a great socety, they declined with only one god!

The jews never hade a grat civilisation!!!!! they just sucked dick look at history!!!

So why are we so cool even throught we have only one god? The answers is in the new part of the book that is only in west there are in fact ANCENT values from greeks and we now how it went for theme. Pretty good. Now they dont have thoses text in jew world. But in fact as allready stated they hade only one good same with the monkey profet hade only one god. Thus europe only went down when only one god.

THE fact is european only went good when they looked back in time and saw past the thick shit that hade camed out from the jews ass holes. Disgusting in the most. Greek and white germanic human rights is what the wester world is under. And that one god or that values from jews are good I do not agree with. As we can see only when being vorshiping one god everything went down hill in most civ. But when multiple it went prety good! The matter of the fact is that huamns need human like goods.

But one thing for sure is that the white mans burden how much you want to say no to it, it is true to this very day still when it was first spoken by white man mouths.

325 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9981 06:40

Everybody gangsta til die sozialistische Weltrepublik aus den Trümmern aufsteigt

326 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9981 09:13

実家に帰ったところすき焼きだそうです。えっそうなのウソラッキー

327 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9981 11:42

>>324
Him not catching the socety typo made this good

328 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9981 17:59

Please God, I want to impregnate Haachama so bad. I want her to bear my children with those beautiful child-bearing hips. That beautiful, radiant angel. Like a goddess, having come down to Earth to cleanse us of our sins.

Haachama is beyond divine. I can't help but drop to my knees in worship whenever I see her beautiful figure even though it's behind that stupid chuuni outfit. I yearn for her in a way both primal and spiritual. I would commit more war crimes than every president in United States history just to lick the sweet, glistening pepeloni juice from her smooth, creamy skin. I want to listen to her moans as my manhood throbs within her, I want to hear her heart race as our bodies become one and our souls irreversibly intertwine in the holy sin of carnal union.

I want to suckle at her motherly bosom, slurping that rich juche milk from her teat as she gently strokes my raging erection. I would stir her velvety cream into my coffee and let my balls boil in it. Her cries of pleasure and the rocking of our bed would be louder than the cacophony of ten thousand drone strikes. I would make love to her until my body gave out, and then some. I would let her break my rib cage with any part of her body. I would let her hit me with her car just to be near her for a brief moment.

She's so perfect it hurts. Every moment without her I suffer a pain worse than breaking every bone in my body simultaneously while drowning and also having shards of glass coated in hot sauce forced through every orifice of my body. I want her, I need her. I want to desecrate her crisp general suit. I want to start a family with her and retire after our twenty seven children have grown up and moved out. I want to see those luscious lips speak such filthy, perverse words into my ear while she slides ice cubes down my gaping pisshole.

I want to fuck her like she owes me money. I would let her step on me, just to feel the soft, firm warmth of her feet upon my face and groin area. I would sleep under her just to catch her drool in my mouth. I would fish the strands of hair from her shower drain just to smell her alluring scent, and braid them into necklaces to keep her with me always. Or cock rings. Whichever would please her more.

God please, I would do anything for her. I would relinquish my life, all my hopes and dreams, just to become the socks on her feet so that I may warm her mouthwatering toes with my very being, so that she may feel the heat of my love always. I would encase myself in cement and become her doorstep, so that she may wipe her heels upon my face. I would tear my own limbs off. I don't know what l'd do after that, or why she might want my limbs. But I would do it.

My queen, my goddess, the light of my life. Please God, let me have her. I want her to be mine and only mine. I would lick the Doritos dust from her fingers and fill her belly button with honey mustard to dip my tendies in. I would give her a sponge-bath with my tongue every morning and serve her breakfast in bed. I would let her eat her eggs and pancakes off my body if it pleased her, no matter how painful the third-degree burns would be.

I would bear the torment of eternal damnation until the end of time to taste the seat of her car but once. There is nothing I wouldn't do for her, nothing wouldn't say. I would beat my own friend to death with my engorged penis if it would bring a smile to Haachama’s shining face. I wouldn't even let myself cum until she gave me permission.

I love you, Haachama. Please. Be mine. Be my wife, my Lover, my mommy, my everything. Say yes. Answer my calls, respond to my superchats. Something. Give me a sign, Haachama. I'm waiting for you.

329 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9981 20:38

this is a bitcoiner, their interactions with the real world are intermediated via mom and chicken tenies

330 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9982 09:07

it?s used only for examining these centrifuges,? he explained.<br /> ?
Nicole Simons will be headed in order to Pike Body of water. ?
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Jewish agencies will have to get responses and hear additional through younger people, Hoenlein explained.

331 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9982 19:16

こんな放射線廃棄物みたいな害悪アニメが日本でも人気ある時点で世も末だな

332 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9983 01:07

There is no butthole cut, the characters weren’t modeled with them. Sometimes the fur groom clumped up in render and ambient occlusion shadows would look suspicious though

333 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9983 05:45

i am a heron. i ahev a long neck and i pick fish out of the water w/ my beak. if you dont repost this comment on 10 other pages i will fly into your kitchen tonight and make a mess of your pots and pans

334 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9983 15:33

Chan-culture is garbage, was always garbage, and is so crusty and out-of-date that it's howling for relevance now.

335 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9983 15:44

>>334
ITS NOT CHANS ITS IMAGEBOARDS HOLY SHIT

336 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9983 22:59

Women and non male people didn’t exist until 2000. That is when we popped in to existence and then starting liking all the things that men like, just to annoy them

337 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9984 02:59

'override' sounds like we get to do something horrible to Flppto; but alas, that seems unlikely.

Going solo it is then.

338 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9984 07:06

toilet addict, constantly drinking toilet water, i need toilets in my life, the sickness of toilet in toilet action, natural toilet. alone.

339 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9985 03:36

I personally wonder if Flppto got the same choice, or if the Evil Power Master took one look at Flppto and said "Eww! No, even I have some standards..."

Seriously, for being a supposed genius, Flppto sucks.

340 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9985 11:30

also btw at no point am I going to call her anything other than "Arcade Bumstead" or "Atari Dumbledore" and I encourage everyone to do the same

341 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9985 14:22

i noticed a similarity in the chords of the Soviet National Anthem with a part of Can't Stop by RHCP and it makes me wish i lived in the world where Can't Stop was the official Soviet Anthem, imagine how different the world would be

342 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9985 22:10

Imagine being a space chink and you just land on some fledgling bioplanet and start cooking their dogs and shit

343 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9986 12:50

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo admin-kun, do not do this to me.
I am a large boy! Big boy with big dick! Superior girth and width! I put my gargantua in the anus! I am Gregorius, do not test me! Haxx, haxx!

344 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9987 13:44

Somehow, a lutefisk delivery was made, so that still happened this year. It was smellier and chewier than usual. We ate it.

345 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9988 10:15

Is it wrong that I sing “What’s the time? Diaper time!!!” over and over while changing my daughter’s diaper

346 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9988 10:52

The first time I saw Cy Twombly’s aphrodisiacal paintings, I felt the way Patti Smith felt when first hearing the Rolling Stones: “I was doing all my thinking between my legs.” Something unrecognizable and distorted within me quivered. Twombly’s fevered phosphorescent blooms of runny jellyfish chrysanthemums with elongated, pulpy, tentacle-like sacks dripping down; his iridescent storms of inchoate cryptographic scribbles, floral scrawls, jittery jutting lines; pustules rising and falling like raw nerve endings, flying vagina dentata, plaited anuses, priapic phalli spouting involuntarily or drooping defenseless, and what his closest reader, MoMA’s late Kirk Varnedoe, called “anteater tongues” — all of it metamorphosed into my own inner Kama Sutra of urge. Sensory networks lit up; a new barometer fluctuated. It was abstract yet explicitly erotic. I was in voluptuous rut. But something like gravitas and immensity was preponderant within me, too.

347 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9988 16:23

Space Bastard sounds like the name of a little-known anime that aired between 1979 and 1982 and is only available via fansub VHS to this day.

348 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9988 22:06

👁️🙏🌫️🐋🐋🐋🐬🐋🐋💙💞💞💞💞💞💞

349 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9988 22:14

Kelly Loeffler genuflects each night and every morning at the altar of Donald Trump.

With bowed head and quivering lips she hopes and wishes that one day The Orange Messiah will look upon her as he looks upon his daughter.

Any words she might speak ill of The Master will be swiftly followed by self-flagellation with a whip crafted from an extra long, red necktie.

350 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9989 11:34

It's a portmanteau of iPod and broadcast.
And no. I doubt if anyone under 30 realizes this.

351 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9989 13:20

It's called frostbite and you don't want a rectal one. There's basically no medical records for it, but i can assume it leads to nasty opportunistic infections. Also, normally hypotermia is measured by taking the temperature rectally so it might spur unnecessary treatment if you won't admit you wanted to feel like Frosty the snowman was rawdogging you.

352 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9989 14:18

Same, and I was like “no I don’t think they get any respect actually”

353 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9990 05:36

Mark Sophavandy
​Trump is john kreese and supporters are the cobra kai students. totally brainwashed.

354 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9990 16:18

Mr. Derrida, tear up this bussy

355 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9990 18:23

>>353
The evolution of Star Wars and Harry Potter political allegories

356 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9991 04:10

I'm glad this sexually excites even one person on the gods green earth.

357 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9991 05:22

people don't want to believe it but "new age Q healing crystal sandy hook truther antivax hippy national socialist whole foods schizo-patriotism" is going to be the next global mass movement

358 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9991 06:26

John McCain is in a tiny cage in hell listening to this on loop

359 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9991 06:32

From our founding in 1899 as the United Fruit Company to our honored place in your kitchen today, Chiquita Brands International has always supported democratic values and the peaceful transfer of power. We call on President Trump to honor those traditions.
🇺🇲
🍌

360 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9991 07:13

Dude prepped us for liberal republic's slide to fascism through forever-war and we bitched about Jar Jar

361 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9992 11:10

Where's that Nazi quote saying always accuse the enemy of doing what you were doing? Can't remember the guys name, something Gerbils?

362 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9992 20:54

My favorite reason for the spinning bow ties this week:

The people of action on the right have appeared--and they appear to not wear bow ties.

363 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9992 21:04

Dear the newspapers. I didn’t “battle” Covid. I lay on my bed reading a book till it went away

364 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9993 10:33

The election was stolen from us. Giant Meteor should have won, but orbital mechanics and gravitational physics cheated us out of it.

365 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9993 17:38

The Left naturally prefers lies to truth, ugliness to beauty, chaos to order, tyranny to freedom, and human suffering to human flourishing. For they are the culture of death, the children of darkness. They are spiteful mutants who want revenge for being born. They wont rest until the entire world is as ugly on the outside as they are on the inside.

366 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9993 18:42

My grandma keeps chickens. They feed them fried chicken sometimes. They love it.

367 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9993 20:41

For the last time, the clown is not the rapist.

368 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9993 21:44

Never forget Stalin’s famous words. “By clicking accept. We can sell your browsing history to paid advertisers for the GLORY OF MOTHER RUSSIA”

369 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9993 23:01

Ladies, I want you to imagine your boyfriend giving it to you from behind. Then you turn around and he's making the racist Chinese face at you where he slants his eyelids with his fingers

370 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9993 23:40

can you please post shotgun Saturday night episodes. if not. I understand.

371 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9994 02:40

Trump nuking DC would be proof that he wants to destroy our nation's enemies.

372 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9994 03:00

don't worry, there are plenty of other frogs around, sad that we killed dinosaurs and neanderthals though, I wish more people were vegan.

373 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9994 05:55

god hates us

374 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9994 08:55

I have been fighting a silent battle against cuckold bulls for 14 years now

375 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9994 09:42

i find the genders connected to sound and color easiest to understand (maybe that's cause those are the ones i feel lol) for example my gender can feel like a color (huegender/colorgender), i think it might be black right now?.. usually it stays around blue/purple/pink but it was gray a couple days ago.. it can also feel like its quiet or loud (voluflux), usually its muffled and quiet (mufflegender) a couple days ago i felt like my gender was like if you were listening to something with broken earbuds and one of the ears was very quiet and the other was very loud, yes very specific i thought it was kinda funny

376 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9994 12:29

introducing... DOUGACORE

an aesthetic that is an amalgamation of animecore and webcore! it is also highly based on 2channel, futaba and nico nico douga. basically japanese internet stuff lolz
dougacore things include..

  • saying kusa/草 instead of lmao
  • saying w (pronounced waru) instead of lol
  • videos like kumikyoku nico nico douga
  • 音MAD (otoMAD) videos
  • the band P-MODEL
  • floating text on videos
  • kaomoji
  • japanese-style memes (such as "Yukkari Shitte Ne!")
  • early 2000s anime
  • gigantic mashups of music from popular japanese video games
  • otaku culture
  • touhou project fanworks (vids like chirumiru)
  • browsing on NND and 2channel

377 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9994 14:11

That's cultural appropriation. Leave the Nazi's be. These are our own homegrown fucktards. These are MAGA.

378 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9994 14:56

Parrot S. Vinosa (?)
Move your body real closer

379 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9994 19:17

>>377
This guy. Uses periods a lot.

380 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9994 23:27

>>380
This guy. Licks periods a lot :P

381 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9995 07:59

sorry serb but in real life the bošnjak gets the girl

382 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9995 15:08

So cleaver yet so naive....

383 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9996 00:11

I was downloading porn on my gateway computer, playing baldur's gate 2 while cartoon network played in the background. Simpler times

384 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9996 11:59

1453 was an inside job! Ottoman cannons cannot breach byzantine walls! Wake up sheeple!

385 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9996 16:00

pretty cool how you used the piano as a green screen

386 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9996 20:29

For me it was seeing the videos she made before she was famous, when she was still in school. Those are even more concerning than her current ones. I mean they were REALLY like a psycho person.

In all honesty, I think she is clinically ill. But it's not to a point where she's unable to function in society. More like a rather severe personality disorder, similar to turret syndrome or something. But hey, it makes her unique among other idols. When did we ever see a popular idol with an obvious psychological knack? I think it's cool as long as she doesn't get depressed over it when she gets older. Maybe it's just a temporary thing too.

387 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9996 21:27

Neither am I, but then again I don't think I've ever tweeted her to begin with.

388 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9996 23:21

The tears look like sperm. Now you can't unsee it.

389 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9997 01:28

Outright communism. This isn't likely to happen. Not in the short-term. But, suppose it did. Well, the starving times come earlier. I doubt it though - oil and alternative energy is so abundant we can live in that weird cambion explosion time when all manner of idiotic creatures survived.

390 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9997 03:33

Seriously cannot imagine what some of you expect. Do you think he is going to show his hand to his enemies just to help you unbunch your panties?

391 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9997 10:30

No my deodorant does smell good Spartan ad guy

392 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9999 03:48

Been getting a few new followers apparently looking for accounts regarding the YFI cryptocurrency. I wonder how many cuckold and bestiality captions I can post before they realize they made a mistake.

Or... maybe it isn't a mistake. Who am I to judge?

393 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9999 06:42

Telling mommy "Lasch would spit on you" next time she burns the chicken nuggies

394 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9999 15:46

Similar thing I've always done: the dick mic. Stick a 57 in the middle of the kit aimed at the drummers crotch and smash it. Same thing really

395 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9999 18:31

Play monke but instead of being a large ape hes a small hamster inside a giant mechanical ball

396 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-9999 20:28

I’m watching this clip, yelling at the cops, “Testudo! Testudo!” That’s Latin for ‘turtle’, a common battle formation since ancient freaking Rome! And these cops just stood there not knowing what to do. Talk about a lack of proper training.

397 Name: ( ´_ゝ`) : 1993-09-10000 22:54

A portly fellow in a flame shirt waddles to the counter of a Starbucks

"What would you like sir?"

He squints around the coffee bar, his hands at the sides of his khaki shorts like he had two holsters. With one hand he expertly pulls out his wallet and with the other, he brings the tip of his hat down before placing his order

"Coffee. Black."

A hush falls over the patrons and staff. Women gush in their panties as whispers from men can't believe what's transpiring. The barista looks like he's about to faint, his grip on the cup furiously shaking as he slides it over the counter to our hero.

The cheetoh avenger slaps down a sticky five and a quarter with his hamhock fist before mumbling to no one that they should "keep the change", knowing he's a far better human being than people that put sugar or milk in their coffee.

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