Need help for translating. (2)

1 名前: 名無しさん@日本語勉強中 : 2017-12-11 01:24 ID:N/dIVyLG

 Hi guys I'm trying to translate some stupid and funny Japanese article on the internet for fun and my study. Native English speaker are very welcome also 日本人の方. Please advice.
The one I'm trying to translate is

2 名前: 名無しさん@日本語勉強中 : 2017-12-11 01:30 ID:N/dIVyLG

-I seriously tryed to think about "Happiness" while dick out-
A morning I dicked out and brushed my teeth, in the moment when my dick waved,
I felt happiness. I touched secret of life.
On the way back from work, I pushed wicket to through with my dick.
It's feel like gate in. I won in the nose.

The original:

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